As I write this—4:30 pm—familial obligations are over. Thank god. I love the holidays, but three days of trying to make polite conversation has just about done me in. I had to sit through an hour-long conversation about road construction. Seriously. Is this a phenomenon unique to Minnesota? Endless discussions of road construction and the best alternate routes? Probably not unique.

So I guess I’m supposed to put away the Christmas decor.

But I don’t wanna. I like my Christmas decor. So, as Benevolent Dictator of this planet, I rule that it’ll stay up until after New Years. So there.