As I write this I’m watching Homicide “Night of the Dead Living”. Great episode. Ah, with Tergesen in it. He showed up on a semi-regular basis until he got shot and went blind.

Munch to Bolander: “Your partner Mitch. Has sex with goats.”

Anyway, in preparation for doing taxes this year (or should I say having someone else do my taxes) I’ve been getting all my ducks in a row and someone needed to see my original business filing with the state.

So I’m looking through my excuse for a filing system and it isn’t where it should be.

Fuck.

So I started tearing through my piles of paper and finally found it. And as I was sitting on the floor surrounded by mass amounts of paper, I finally decided to suck it up and get all the filing/reorganizing I needed to get done.

And in the process I ran into some time capsule stuff.

You know the stuff you forget about for awhile and then try to find to no success? Only to find them in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying “Beware of the Leopard”?

So the back story: In 1993 the Black Bible Chronicles came out. It was the Bible (or like, the Pentateuch, the Gospels, and Psalms or something. I forget) written in slang. The intention (I think) was to get African American teens interested in the Bible.

I think.

And back in those days it took maybe four or five people to typeset a Bible. So there were a bunch of us who were in the middle of typesetting some Bible or other. And we all decided to buy the Black Bible Chronicles out of curiousity. I have no idea what happened to the book, but I found a photocopy of the ten commandments:

“Don’t put anyone else before me.

“Don’t make any carved objects or things that look like what is in heaven or below. And don’t bow down to these things like they are anything heavy. Not ever!

“You shouldn’t diss the Almighty’s name, using it in cuss words or rapping with one another. It ain’t cool and payback’s a monster.

“Remember the day of the Almighty which is the seventh day. After you’ve worked six days, give the seventh to the Almighty” (Remember that the Almighty made the heavens and the earth in six days. He rested on the seventh day and blessed it as right-on.)

“You shouldn’t be takin’ nothin’ from your homeboys.

“Give honor to your mom and dad, and you’ll live a long time.

“Don’t waste nobody.

“Don’t mess around with someone else’s ol’ man or ol’ lady.

“Don’t go ’round telling lies on your homebuddies.

“Don’t want what you can’t have, or what your homebuddy has. It ain’t cool.”

Heh. Homebuddy. Did anybody ever use that term? I’m gonna start calling people that.

“Homebuddy”. Sounds more Gay Bible Chronicles than Black Bible Chronicles.

And commandment number eight sounds like it was taken from the Biker Bible Chronicles. “Don’t mess around with someone else’s ol’ man or ol’ lady when you’re in Sturgis.”

On second thought, maybe that’s more the Bisexual Biker’s Bible Chronicles.