PC Andy: No other reason I could think of for keeping sports equipment in the bedroom.
Jack: Oh, you should come by my house for a game of hockey some time.
Owen to Gwen: Alright then, Jessica Fletcher. Whodunit?
Ianto: “Just us. In this room. For as long as it takes.” Terrifying.
Jack: Really?
Ianto: Absolutely. Shivers down my spine.
Jack: You don’t look scared.
Ianto: It passed.
Ianto: We don’t sniff the sub-etheric resonator.
Beth: Sorry.
Owen: When was the last time you felt ill, you had a cold? Anything?
Beth: I don’t think I have. I take a lot of vitamin C.
Owen looking at the scalpel: Hm. Hell of a lot, I reckon.
Jack: Okay Beth. You make light bulbs blow, we can’t break your skin. What planet are you from?
Tosh: We have to take it easy, Jack. Stop at the first sign of trouble.
Ianto: Or the first sign of exploding.
Beth: Your bedside manner’s rubbish.
Gwen: You should see his manners in bed. They’re atrocious. Apparently. So I’ve heard.
Ianto: Oh, they are. I remember this one time—
Jack: Ahem.
Ianto: They know more about this place than I do. bangs table. Nobody knows more about this place than I do.
Gwen: Do you feel human?
Beth: Yes.
Gwen: Yes. Well then you are. What makes us human is in our minds not our bodies.
Beth: I wish this wasn’t happening. I’d never know, I’d just live a normal life.
Jack: Until the day of the attack.
Beth: I won’t do anything! I’m not that person.
Jack: I’m sorry, but you are.
Gwen: It’ll be just like you go to sleep.
Owen: Only a bit colder.
Jack about Beth: What did she do? Is it a virus, a lockdown?
Tosh: No, she’s just turned off the lights.
Jack: What is it with her and light bulbs?
Jack: Tosh, you switched off the transceiver?
Tosh: Yes.
Jack: Are you sure?
Tosh: Well I was until you asked.
Gwen about Patrick Granger: Why would anybody want to kill him?
Ianto: Also the city coordinator. Takes charge of the city in case of major emergencies. Has all the security protocols.
Owen: How’d you know about that?
Ianto: I know everything. And it says so on the bottom of the screen.
Tosh: Come on guys, that wasn’t even difficult. A disappointment.
Ianto: It’s almost obscene what you do to security systems.
Jack: Come on! Have a little faith. With a dashing hero like me on the case how can we fail?
Ianto: He is dashing, you have to give him that.
Owen: What if they can’t stop it?
Tosh: They’ll stop it.
Owen: Yeah, but if they can’t?
Ianto: Then it’s… all over.
Owen: Let’s all have sex.
Ianto: And I thought the end of the world couldn’t get any worse.