Rules of Engagement

(Season 3)

O’Neill: That UAV needs a swift kick in the CPU.

SG-11: Identify yourself!
O’Neill: Colonel Jack O’Neill, SG-1.
SG-11: Which quadrant?
O’Neill: What?

SG-X Member: Boy are you guys gonna get it.
O’Neill: Get what? From whom?
SG-X Member: You can’t talk!
O’Neill: Why not?
SG-X Member: Because you’re dead.
O’Neill: Dead?
SG-X Member: Pretending not to be dead will just get you into more trouble.
O’Neill: More trouble than dead?

Captain: No rank is above strict adherence to the rules of engagement. Rule two, article four. Unauthorized forces will be shot on sight.

Teal’c: Your standing orders given to you by your previous Jaffa Master?
Captain Rogers: To practice the exercises of battle according to the rules of engagement until the return of our Lord Apophis. When we are ready for the final challenge, he will come.
O’Neill: Don’t hold your breath.

Captain Rogers: We study long and hard and know much.
Carter: About Earth?
Captain Rogers: Oh yes. Corn and cotton are indigenous to North America.
O’Neill: That information could save your life one day.

Teal’c: They are intar.
O’Neill: Short for?
Teal’c: Intar.

Carter: Sir?
O’Neill: Just a huge, honkin’ Apophis, Major. Nothing to worry about.

Teal’c: This is Colonel O’Neill. He is much loved by Apophis. You may address the warriors.
O’Neill: Apophis wanted me to tell you that you’ve all been doing a wonderful job. Couldn’t ask for more. Well done. But he also wanted me to tell you that the whole “invasion of the Tau’ri” idea has been cancelled due to… rain.

Captain Nelson: You speak more like a Tau’ri than a warrior of Apophis.
O’Neill: Well thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.

Captain Rogers: This is the Final Challenge.
Captain Nelson: What happened?
Captain Rogers: The day has come, Nelson. The Final challenge.
Captain Nelson: Blood has been shed.

O’Neill: Ol’ Doc Fraiser says you haven’t been eating.
Captain Rogers: It’s poisoned.
O’Neill: It’s hospital food. Of course it is.

Captain Rogers: I will reveal nothing. You may begin torturing me.
O’Neill: Oh, I’ve already begun. This is the infamous tuna torture.

Captain Rogers: You can go home—wherever that is. The war is over.
O’Neill: No it’s not. Because tomorrow the Final Challenge begins. And many of my men will die. For him.

Captain Nelson: What will become of us? Where will we go now?
Captain Rogers: Home.