Small Victories
O’Neill: I’d be happy to debrief you all after I’ve debriefed myself for a nice hot shower.
Hammond: Permission to shower granted. In fact, I insist on it, Colonel.
O’Neill: Bad?
Jackson: I wasn’t going to say anything…
O’Neill: Well, I’m off.
Carter: Still going fishing?
O’Neill: Yep. Still staying here?
Carter: Yeah. I think I’ve had enough relaxation for awhile, sir.
O’Neill: Blow it up.
Major Davis: The Pentagon has requested that we take steps to preserve a number of specimens for study.
O’Neill: The Asgard already tried that. Those buggers are on the verge of wiping out their entire race.
Major Davis: That’s why I’m here. You people are the closest things to experts we’ve got.
O’Neill: As an expert, I’m saying blow it up.
Carter: Sir, if there is still a small enough number of the Replicators on board, a properly-equipped team could possibly—
O’Neill: Save the world?
O’Neill: Would it be necessary to mention my insane aversion to bugs at this time?
O’Neill: Now that’s timing!
Carter: We came as soon as we could, sir.
O’Neill: Teal’c, are you okay?
Teal’c: I am, O’Neill.
Carter: I take it things weren’t going well.
O’Neill: Nah, we had things handled.
Carter: The Asgard had this big new ship. The O’Neill.
O’Neill: Oh yeah?
Carter: But… we had to blow it up.
O’Neill: Hey listen, stop by anytime. In fact, I’ll take you fishing. I’d love to do that. There’s this lake in Northern Minnesota where the bass grow {demonstrating} that big.
The Other Side
O’Neill: Didn’t I order you to get a life?
Hammond: Humanitarian concerns aside, we may have finally met an advanced civilization willing to exchange technology to help us defend against the Goa’uld.
O’Neill: My thoughts sir.
Hammond: I’ve already talked to the President and Joint Chiefs. If the Eurondian government is open to trade you’re authorized to negotiate.
O’Neill: You’ve got that look.
Teal’c: To which look are you referring, O’Neill?
Jackson: The one that says, “I have misgivings about this mission but deep down I know we’re doing the right thing.”?
O’Neill: No. The other one.
Jackson: Oh.
Alar (Rene Auberjonois): An enemy craft is approaching our perimeter. would any of you care to attempt to shoot it down?
Farrell: The target is merely an unmanned reconnaissance drone. Sent for bomb damage assessment.
O’Neill: Unmanned?
Alar: Think of it as a demonstration, Colonel. Are not your people more likely to be forthcoming with assistance if we have something to offer in exchange?
O’Neill: Does this thing take quarters or…?
Jackson: Jack.
O’Neill: Daniel.
Jackson: Shouldn’t we ask them what they want the heavy water for?
O’Neill: Oh I don’t think so.
O’Neill: Next time I tell you to shut up.
Jackson: I didn’t hear you tell me to shut up.
O’Neill: Too subtle for you?
Jackson: Well for once, yes.
Jackson: I was speaking metaphorically.
O’Neill: Well stop it! It’s confusing to Teal’c.
O’Neill: You said they were unmanned.
Farrell: I said the reconnaissance craft was an unmanned drone. It presented an easy target and therefore a suitable demonstration. But their bombers are manned.. You have killed several of our enemy, Colonel. And we are grateful.
Alar: Perhaps it would be best if the Jaffa did not return.
O’Neill: Teal’c? Why? He hasn’t said a word.
Alar: It’s not what he said, it’s what he is.
O’Neill: Well he’s different, I’ll grant you that.
Alar: Not like us.
O’Neill: So, what’s your impression of Alar?
Teal’c: That he is concealing something.
O’Neill: Like what?
Teal’c: I am unsure. He is concealing it.
O’Neill: What’d you find out?
Jackson: They did it. They started the war. I don’t know how they did it, but they did.
Alar: It could have all been yours!
O’Neill: I wouldn’t follow us if I were you.
Upgrades
O’Neill: [T]he Tok’ra are starting to annoy me in general.
Carter: Sir?
O’Neill: Don’t get me wrong, Carter. Your dad’s great, I love him like a brother. It’s just that every time they show up it seems like there’s all kinds of— {Anise walks through the Gate}
Jackson: Yep. That looks like trouble to me.
Anise: You may call me Anise.
Jackson: Anise.
Anise: It means “noble strength”.
Jackson: I’m Daniel. It means, ah, “God is my judge.”
O’Neill: I’m Jack. It means…. What’s in the box?
O’Neill: What’s that mean?
Anise: The device is working.
O’Neill: I don’t feel like leaping any tall buildings.
Anise: It may take time for the device to adjust to your body.
O’Neill: Teal’c. I’m really sorry.
Teal’c: You are not.
O’Neill: He’s right about that.
Anise: Your strength is five times that of a normal human.
O’Neill: So, no increase then, huh?
Jackson: Did you just read that?
O’Neill: I guess. Don’t ‘spose there’s another book around that explains this book?
Jackson: What reason did Hobbes give for the fall of the civilization?
O’Neill: Failing agricultural infrastructure.
Jackson: Jack, that’s unbelievable.
O’Neill: Hey, it’s just theory.
Hammond: Colonel, I’m concerned that you aren’t in full control of your new abilities.
O’Neill: Well you might be right about that. It’s just so damn exciting, sir!
Hammond: I’m sure it is.
O’Neill: And even if we’re not in total control, shouldn’t we be out there doing the damage instead of in your office?
Waitress: What can I get you?
O’Neill: Three of the biggest steaks you’ve got. With everything. Rare. And a baked potato.
Waitress: You got it. {she turns to leave}
O’Neill: Excuse me. That was for me.
Bar Patron: Geek.
Jackson: Excuse me?
O’Neill: Let it go.
Jackson: No. Not this time.
Bar Patron: Yeah? What are you going to do? {they advance on Jack and Daniel}
O’Neill: Well. This is a cliché.
O’Neill: We’ll need snacks.
O’Neill: I should have brought more snacks.
Carter: I don’t think that would have helped.
Hammond: What happened?
O’Neill: The damn armbands fell off is what happened.
O’Neill: I’m sorry.
Carter: Me too.
Jackson: Me three.
Teal’c: I have no need to apologize.
Hammond: Teal’c was actually following orders.
O’Neill: Of course he was.
Crossroads
Gate technician: We’re receiving Bra’tac’s IDC, sir.
O’Neill: Bra’tac.
Hammond: Open the iris. Have Teal’c come to the Gate room.
Shaun’ac (Musetta Vander): I mean you no harm.
O’Neill: Bra’tac. You’ve done something with your hair.
Shaun’ac: Bra’tac has told me much of the Tau’ri. You are O’Neill. Teal’c’s apprentice.
O’Neill: Yeah. {realizing} Apprentice?
O’Neill about Teal’c and Shaun’ac: I’m thinking they got history.
Carter: History?
O’Neill: Oh yeah.
Jackson: She’s a temple priestess.
O’Neill: So?
Jackson: So they don’t do a lot of dating.
O’Neill: Is it dangerous?
Jackson: Jack, he’s stopping his heart.
O’Neill: I mean for us.
Freya (Vanessa Angel): Egeria came to the Tau’ri to stop the Goa’uld from taking humans through the Stargate as slaves. Ra found her and killed her, but not before she spawned our movement.
Carter: Literally.
Freya: Yes.
O’Neill: Thanks for that image.
Anise: Your father ask that I shake your hand. And give Colonel O’Neill a big kiss from him.
Carter: Ah, that might be the wrong way around.
O’Neill: Maybe.
O’Neill: How do I hang up with Anise and talk to Freya?
Anise: Why?
O’Neill: I like Freya!
O’Neill: I guess we should just mosey on back to Earth. Tell General Hammond how the Tok’ra boned us again.
Divide and Conquer
O’Neill: Tuesday doesn’t work for the President. […]
Jackson: The President means no disrespect but he has to appear before Congress on Tuesday and there’s no way to make up an excuse to get out of that.
O’Neill: Wednesday? How’s Wednesday?
Martouf and Anise argue about the Za’tarc technology
O’Neill: Excuse me! Do we or do we not have a Xanax detector?
Anise: When her program is triggered she will inevitably become self-destructive.
Hammond: Let’s give Lieutenant Aster the choice.
O’Neill: Some choice.
O’Neill: Well this is fun. Who’s next?
Anise: SG-1.
O’Neill: She made a pass at me.
Jackson: Sam?
O’Neill: Anise. Freya. One of them.
Jackson: Really?
O’Neill: The host half.
Jackson: That’s odd.
O’Neill: You’re telling me. Odd timing too, doncha think?
Jackson: Yes.
O’Neill: Apparently the snake likes you.
Jackson: Really? {Jack attempts to play with a yo-yo} Yep, I think these Jack O’Neill moments that I’ll probably miss the most.
O’Neill: What?
Jackson: What?
Carter: Sir, when you wouldn’t leave me, are you sure there wasn’t something else that you’re not admitting?
O’Neill: What are you talking about?
Carter: Something neither one of us can admit given our working relationship, our military ranks.
O’Neill: Oh! Oh, that.
Anise: What were you feeling?
O’Neill: Like someone who was about to die.
Carter: Sir.
O’Neill: I didn’t leave. Because I’d have rather died myself than lose Carter.
Anise: Why?
O’Neill: Because I care about her. A lot more than I’m supposed to.
Dr. Fraiser: Okay, if they’re not za’tarcs then they’re no threat to the President.
O’Neill: Oh, I had some questions for him.
Window of Opportunity
Teal’c: Major Carter, have we not been previously briefed concerning this matter?
O’Neill: I was just going to say that.
Carter: Coronal Mass Emissions, I was just about to bring it up.
O’Neill: There you go! How would I know that?
Carter: Maybe you read my report?
Jackson: Maybe he read your report?
Jackson: I was looking forward to meeting him.
O’Neill: You did! You got along swell. Anyway, at some point a beam shot out from the ruins around the altar and hit the Stargate.
Teal’c: There was a blinding flash of light.
O’Neill: And then I was back in the commissary eating my Froot Loops.
O’Neill: Should’ve seen that coming.
Carter: I’m going to go run a few simulations.
O’Neill: You run. Simulate. Let me know how it turns out.
Overhead: Unscheduled offworld activation.
O’Neill: D’oh!
Hammond: You realize this is a little difficult to accept.
O’Neill: Hey, if it was just me I’d agree. But what about Teal’c? Come on, is this the face of a crazy man? … Bad example.
O’Neill: What kind of archaeologist carries a weapon?
Jackson: Uh… I do.
O’Neill: Bad example.
O’Neill: I ask you. What could possibly be in my eye that would explain this?
Jackson: Anyway I’m sorry, but that just happens to be how I feel about it. What do you think?
O’Neill: Ask me tomorrow.
Carter: We could be reliving the same day over and over maybe thousands of times and we’d never know it.
Hammond: What can we do?
Carter: Unfortunately not much. The next time the loop starts we won’t even remember we had this conversation. It’s up to Teal’c and Colonel O’Neill.
Teal’c: O’Neill. Should we not be assisting Daniel Jackson in the translation?
O’Neill: I’m taking this loop off.
Jackson: Exactly how many of these loops have you… have we… been through?
O’Neill: I’ve lost track.
Jackson: You must be frustrated.
O’Neill: Ah. Yeah.
Jackson: On the other hand, it is kind of an opportunity.
O’Neill: How’s that?
Jackson: Well think about it. I mean, if you know in advance that everything is always going to go back to the way it was, then… you could do anything. For as long as you want without having to worry about the consequences.
O’Neill: Excuse me.
Jack is about to hit a golf ball through the Stargate.
Hammond: Colonel O’Neill, what the hell are you doing?!
O’Neill: In the middle of my back swing?!
Jackson: Let me ask you something. All that time you were… looping. Were you ever tempted to do something crazy? I mean you could do anything without worrying about consequences.
O’Neill: You know it’s funny, you asked me that before.
Jackson: And? {Jack smiles and continues to eat his oatmeal}
Watergate
Carter: There wasa minor seismic event that matches the time in our power log exactly.
O’Neill looking at the map: Is that Siberia?
Carter: Yes sir. And there’s only one explanation I can think of.
Jackson: The Russians have a Stargate?
Hammond: Apparently the Russians know quite a bit about the SGC.
O’Neill: How?
Hammond: They didn’t say. How they got it open isn’t the issue right now either. The problem is it won’t close.
Co-Pilot: Sir, we have a visual on the runway. It appears to be iced over and there’s no response from the control tower.
Dr. Svetlana Markov (Marina Sirtis): We’re going to have to jump.
Jackson: Out of the plane?
Dr. Markov: I’m going with our without you, Colonel.
O’Neill: I suppose you expect my manly bravado to kick in right about now.
Dr. Markov: I’ve read your file.
O’Neill: No mention of bravado then, eh?
Teal’c: I do not understand.
O’Neill: It’s called a parachute.
Carter: It slows your descent after you jump out of the plane.
Teal’c: This device seems too poorly designed to provide such a function.
O’Neill: It opens after you jump.
Teal’c: This does not seem wise, O’Neill.
O’Neill: I said it was easy, not wise.
Dr. Markov: It’s gone!
O’Neill: If I ask what, and you say it’s classfied, I’m gonna shoot you.
O’Neill: Holy frozen bad guys.
Dr. Markov: The sub is Swiss.
Jackson: So they occasionally catch fire, but they keep perfect time. {she’s silent}. Sorry. I’ve been hanging around Jack O’Neill too much.
O’Neill: Didn’t you guys leave here in a submarine?
Carter: Not really sure what happened, sir.
O’Neill: Here’s a thought: we just exchanged hostages. … It’s just a thought.
The First Ones
O’Neill: Rothman!
Rothman: Colonel?
O’Neill: You notice anything weird about Hawkins?
Rothman: Weird?
O’Neill: Different.
Rothman: Different?
O’Neill: Odd.
Rothman: Odd?
O’Neill: Rothman!
O’Neill: I’m telling you, it’s gotta be Hawkins.
Teal’c: Trust in me, O’Neill.
O’Neill: What if I’m not O’Neill?
Teal’c: Then I was not talking to you.
Scorched Earth
O’Neill: Teal’c says you don’t want to go.
If we go with you to Earth and you do not find another world on which we can live, we will die there.
O’Neill: Give us a chance.
Jackson: Any intelligence capable of engineering something like that has to be capable of reason.
Carter: The question is, will they listen.
O’Neill: The real question is, will they have ears?
O’Neill: Carter. I’m making a choice to help these people. But if you don’t make that bomb, I’m out of options.
Carter: I know.
O’Neill: So I have to order you to.
Carter: Yes sir.
Jackson: We found the original Enkaran homeworld.
Hedrezar: What?
Carter: How?
Jackson: It was one of several million planets scanned by the ship before it settled on this one. It was rejected partly because of the presence of intelligent life forms.
O’Neill: He’s telling us this now?
Jackson: Well he didn’t know. Technically he’s just a day and a half old.
Beneath the Surface
Carter: How do you stay so calm?
O’Neill: I think in another life I handled dangerous explosives. I don’t know.
Carter: What do you mean “in another life”?
O’Neill: I don’t mean anything by it. It’s just an expression, isn’t it?
Jackson: Big night-sick guy with the ah…
Carter: Tor.
Jackson: He said we were part of something called SG-1.
O’Neill: Yeah, what is that?
Carter: A team?
O’Neill: What kind of a name is that for a team?
Jackson: I don’t know. Look, I just think I’m supposed to be doing something more important.
Carter: We’re helping our people survive an ice age.
O’Neill: Yeah, what’s more important than that?
O’Neill: Would you two stop talking like that, for cryin’ out loud? {they look at him}. It’s an expression. Right?
O’Neill: My memory’s fine.
Jackson: Really?
O’Neill: Yeah!
Jackson: What did you do in the mines?
O’Neill: I mined!
Jackson: No, what did you do?
O’Neill: I remember shoveling ore into a cart.
Jackson: And?
O’Neill: I did that a lot.
Carter: We have to keep this to ourselves. If the others heard us talking they’d think we’re night sick.
O’Neill: What if we are night sick?
Carter: I don’t think so, sir.
Jackson: What?
Carter: What?
Jackson: You just called Jonah “sir.”
Carter: Well it’s an expression. Isn’t it?
O’Neill: I dreamed about mining. Naked.
O’Neill: I remembered something. There’s a man. And he’s bald and he wears a short-sleeved shirt, and somehow he’s very important to me. I think his name is Homer.
O’Neill: Where does Homer fit in?
Brenna: You are all they sent down.
Point of No Return
Martin Lloyd (Willie Garson): …a top-secret government program involving instantaneous travel to other solar systems by means of a device known as a Stargate.
O’Neill: Sounds like a good idea for a TV show. If you’re into that sort of thing.
O’Neill: There is a top secret government program called Project Stargate.
Martin: I knew it!
O’Neill: But it has nothing to do with space travel.
Martin: What does it have to do with?
O’Neill: Magnets.
Martin: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
O’Neill: Nope. I’ve said too much.
Martin: Colonel O’Neill, the truth is I’m not just interested in outer space. I’m from outer space.
O’Neill: Check please!
Martin: Don’t you want to know how I found you?
O’Neill: Ah… I’m okay.
Martin: I noticed in your car there was a map for the Sleep-Rite Motel. I checked every one in town.
O’Neill: There’s two.
O’Neill: What do you want?
Martin: I want to go home. You have to take me through the Stargate.
Tangent
Hammond: Is there a problem Colonel?
O’Neill: No sir. Not at all. I’m sure Teal’c just felt he’d take her for a spin. Around the world.
General Vidrine (Steven Williams): General Hammond has told me nothing but good things.
O’Neill: Has he sir? Well then I’m sure he’s left something out.
General Vidrine: Such as?
O’Neill about Apophis: Well the old boy hasn’t lost his touch.
O’Neill: How long will this thing take to get wherever it’s going?
Teal’c: Assuming this device is programmed to return to Apophis’ original home world, several hundred years.
O’Neill: Several hundred?
Teal’c: Years.
O’Neill: Yeah. Just, ah, let me do the math on that here. Carry the four…
O’Neill: We just need a nudge.
Teal’c: I am unsure of that specific measurement.
O’Neill: We didn’t spring a leak. Though I may have just… taken one.
O’Neill: You know I’ve already done that freezing to death thing. And it’s just not as fun as it sounds.
Teal’c: If we are to die, we die well.
O’Neill: We could do better.
O’Neill: Jacob, is that you?
Jacob: Yes it is, Jack. Now do what I tell you.
O’Neill: Did you know your ship’s bigger than ours?
Carter: Colonel, we need you to concentrate.
O’Neill: Jacob. Thank for stopping by.
Jacob: What the hell. I was in the neighborhood.
The Curse
O’Neill: Carter! You finally ready to take me up on that fishing trip?
Carter: Actually, sir, I have a few projects on the go.
O’Neill: Come on. Are you really trying to tell me you’d rather work in the dark, dank, dismal underground than sit on a dock with your feet perched up, sipping a cold one and casting for that ever-illusive crappie?
Carter: As strange as it may sound sir, yes.
O’Neill: Teal’c! This’ll be great. You and me. The loons. Don’t forget the loons!
O’Neill: Just so we’re clear on this, sir, it’s gonna be me, Teal’c and the great outdoors. That means no cell phones, no faxes, not another living soul for miles. We’ll be unavailable, inaccessible.
Hammond: Incommunicado.
O’Neill: Minnesota, sir.
Hammond: I stand corrected.
O’Neill: If there’s an emergency back at the base you better plan ahead and tell me now.
Teal’c: There appears to be no fish here, O’Neill.
O’Neill: T. It’s not about the actual fish themselves. Fish are not important in this context. It’s about fishing. The act of fishing itself.
Teal’c: I see.
The Serpent’s Venom
Carter: …The mine will think that Apophis’ ship is firing a weapon, move toward it, and explode.
Hammond: Sounds very risky.
O’Neill: Insane might be another word.
O’Neill: Do you understand any of that?
Carter: It’s all Phoenician to me, sir.
Jackson: Uh oh.
O’Neill: What uh oh?
Jacob: Don’t you recognize the symbols?
Jackson: What symbols?
Carter: Okay what do I do?
Jacob: Pretty sure you touch it.
O’Neill: “Pretty sure”?
Jacob: The last time a Tok’ra was sent to attempt this they were never heard from again.
O’Neill: Well that’s news.
Chain Reaction
O’Neill: Do you really think I’d believe you’re quitting because we ran into a little trouble out there? Hell, we’ve been presumed dead before.
Hammond: I don’t have to explain myself to you, Colonel.
O’Neill: No sir, you don’t. You’re my commanding officer. But could you throw me a bone?
Hammond: When I took over this command, the Stargate was inactive. This was supposed to be a quick and easy assignment on my way to retirement.
O’Neill: General, need I remind you that I was retired. Some things are worth changing your plans for.
O’Neill: If it wasn’t for SG-1, right now you’d be sitting there with a snake in your head. Instead of your head up your ass.
O’Neill: Come on, General. I never met anyone who liked doing what they do more than you. And you were good at it. Great. You will never convince me you just got fed up. I’ll never buy that.
Hammond: I’m sorry, it’s out of my hands, Jack.
O’Neill: What does that mean?
Hammond: Can’t discuss it.
O’Neill: General.
Hammond: You don’t understand.
O’Neill: I won’t. Unless you explain it to me.
Hammond: Two weeks ago I was contacted by a representative in the NID. He suggested I should become more aggressive in my policies.
Hammond: Don’t get yourself into trouble over this, Jack.
O’Neill: You know me, sir.
Harry Maybourne: Nice of you to come by. I don’t get a lot of visitors.
O’Neill: I find that hard to believe.
Maybourne: In my line of work, people don’t exactly stick by you through thick and thin. Most of my associates are busy trying to forget they ever knew me.
O’Neill: Your former associates are why I’m here.
O’Neill: It all sounds so cloak-and-daggery.
Maybourne: You’re in Special Ops Colonel, Jack. Why do you always pretend to smell like roses?
O’Neill: How do I get them to back off?
Maybourne: You really want to play in my sandbox, Jack?
O’Neill: Tell me what I have to do.
O’Neill: Have you heard of IKEA?
O’Neill: I see you’re on that famous beer and mustard diet. How’s that working out for you?
Senator Kinsey: You learned to play hardball pretty fast, didn’t you?
O’Neill: I had a good teacher.
O’Neill: General. About what you owe me.
Hammond: Anything I can do.
O’Neill: Well nothing right now. But one day I may ask you to buy back my soul.
2010
Carter: So this is the place you kept threatening to take me. It’s good to see you, sir.
O’Neill: I’m retired, Carter. Lose the sir.
O’Neill: Let me tell you something, Carter. You want to erase your mistakes? That’s your business. My conscience is clear. I warned everybody. I threw up a red flag and everybody—including you—shut me down.
Carter: I’m asking you to put that behind us.
O’Neill: You’re not happy with the way things turned out? Sorry to hear that. Personally, I like things the way they are. No more saving the world, just a nice pond with no pesky fish in it. And the single most pressing issue in my life is whether or not to get a dog. There are a lot of pros and cons to that subject.
Carter: Jack, we’re talking about the future of the human race.
O’Neill: So was I.
Carter: We’re doing this.
O’Neill: Let me know how it turns out.
Carter: So. When did you decide against getting a dog?
O’Neill: I’m still thinking about it.
A note comes through the Stargate
Hammond: What is it?
Jackson: Well?
O’Neill: You tell me.
Jackson: “Under no circumstances go to P4C-970. Colonel Jack O’Neill.” That looks like your handwriting.
O’Neill: It is my handwriting. And it’s my signature.
Teal’c: Though you sent no such note?
O’Neill: Nope.
Fraiser: Sir, may I? {she takes the note} That looks like blood, sir.
Hammond: Have it analyzed.
O’Neill: General, wasn’t 970 on our mission list?
Hammond: It was. Not anymore. I’m not taking any chances.
I want P4C-970 removed from the dialing computer immediately. Dismissed.
Carter: I wonder why you sent it. I wonder when.
O’Neill: Yeah. Gotta wonder.
Absolute Power
O’Neill: Kasuf. About this voice that spoke to you.
Kasuf (Erick Avari): Yes. It spoke the name of my daughter, may she rest in peace. I’m not the only one who heard it. Many fear it is a sign that the gods are returning.
O’Neill: I thought we finally convinced you and your people that the Goa’uld were not gods.
Kasuf: I said many. Not I. But look, it is easy to understand, in the days of Ra, when we returned from a journey a great storm would blow through the desert.
O’Neill: It’s just wind. Wind happens.
Carter: We’re talking about a wind that blew out of an active Stargate.
Jackson: And formed a sandstorm.
Kasuf: The desert said the name Sha’re.
O’Neill: Yeah, well it’s not like it’s a burning bush or anything.
Kasuf: I’ve seen many bushes burn.
O’Neill: I suppose you have.
Teal’c: Does he speak of the knowloedge passed on to him by Amonet and Apophis?
Jackson: He says Oma taught him to forget.
O’Neill: Oma?
Jackson: The alien we encountered on Keb. Mother Nature.
Carter: Guess that explains the tornado.
O’Neill: Do you think it’s wise to bring him back?
Jackson: I don’t think he’s a danger.
O’Neill: What about his step-mom? Is she coming along?
Jackson: He says that ultimately a man travels his own path alone.
O’Neill: Smart kid.
O’Neill: Listen. What happened with the kid in there?
Jackson: I asked him for something. Anything that could help us fight the Goa’uld.
O’Neill: Yeah?
Jackson: And I think he gave it to me.
One Year Later
O’Neill: What are you doing, Carter?
Carter: I’m trying to do what’s right. I’ve talked to everyone I know. No one’s answering my calls, responding to my emails or even my letters.
O’Neill: Because they think you’re nuts.
Carter: What do you think?
O’Neill: We’re talking about Daniel here. Sometimes he can be a little odd. Every once in awhile he gets carried away. But he’s not going to do anything to jeopardize the entire planet.
Carter: I’m not so sure, sir.
Carter: What about Teal’c. You don’t still blame Daniel for that?
O’Neill: I couldn’t prove anything. Could you?
Jackson: What do you think?
O’Neill: It’s cool. Kind of like Vegas.
Jackson: Actually we’ve got three-to-one odds in favor of the launch going off without a hitch.
O’Neill: Hey, I’ll take some of that action.
Jackson: Put Colonel O’Neill down for a hundred.
Tech: Got it.
O’Neill: Dollars, right?
Jackson: Didn’t you think it was a little strange you got through security with a loaded gun?
O’Neill: A little.
Jackson: You never were that bright.
Present Day
O’Neill: General, I highly recommend you order all personnel to stand down and get the heck out of the way.
Hammond: Are you sure, Colonel?
O’Neill: The alternative might not be so great.
The Light
Carter: So sir, are you sure you’d rather take the weekend off than come with me to see this place?
O’Neill: Ah, you know I get that way when I work my ass off. In fact I’d have figured you might want some time off yourself by now.
Carter: Oh I did, but Daniel says of all the pl— That was the bet? Whether or not I’d go? Don’t you have anything better to do?
O’Neill: Hey. Whatcha watching?
Teal’c: A digital recording. I am endeavoring to translate the Goa’uld writing of which Daniel Jackson spoke.
O’Neill: How goes the endeavoring?
Teal’c: On a second viewing I have discovered a figure in the background. It does not appear to be one of our personnel.
Jackson: You know it is beyond my comprehension how anybody like yourself who has so much power can miss the point entirely!
Hammond: This letter is to Lieutenant Barber’s family explaining that he died in the service of his country. I spent the last two hours on it. I can’t tell them anything about how he died or anything about the work he did here. Only that he’s gone. Do you get the point?
O’Neill: Yes sir. He does.
Hammond: Get him out of here.
O’Neill: We haven’t found anything yet, sir, but we’ve only been at it a few minutes.
Hammond: It’s been well over an hour, Colonel.
O’Neill: That can’t be.
Hammond: Jack, I have some bad news. All of SG-5 are dead.
Teal’c: What is the condition of Daniel Jackson?
Hammond: Dr. Fraiser’s doing everything she can, but I’m afraid he’s fallen into a deep coma. We don’t know how long he has.
Jackson: From what I’ve been able to translate with Loran’s help, the Goa’uld used to use this place as some sort of opium den. The only difference is, the symbiote must have kept the host’s mind chemically balanced once it left.
Teal’c: Then most likely I will be able to leave this planet.
O’Neill: Well how nice for you.
O’Neill: We need to know what this thing does.
Loran: When they get back they’ll explain.
O’Neill: They’re not coming back, you know that!
Loran: They are.
O’Neill: Somebody buried those bodies!
Loran: I can go with you?
O’Neill: Sure.
O’Neill: You like ice cream?
Loran: What’s ice cream?
Prodigy
O’Neill: General, I’d like to talk to you about this mission upon which we’re about to embark. It seems a bit ridiculous, doesn’t it?
Hammond: Have you met General Ryan?
General Ryan: Hello Colonel.
O’Neill: The General Ryan? Chief of Staff?
General Ryan: That’s right.
O’Neill to Hammond: Shouldn’t there have been a memo or something?
General Ryan: Thus far we like your work.
O’Neill: Thank you sir. I like yours. Your Air Force. The Air Force. I love the Air Force.
Dr. Lee: Are you sure this is such a good idea?
Dr. Hamilton: Hey, I didn’t come halfway across the galaxy to wait for permission to do my job.
Dr. Lee: But Colonel O’Neill—
Dr. Hamilton: Colonel O’Neill doesn’t have a clue what we’re trying to accomplish here. He’s too busy polishing his M16.
O’Neill: Actually it’s a P90. You boys going somewhere?
Dr. Hamilton: This is typical military thinking. You encounter something you don’t understand, you immediately assume it’s a threat.
O’Neill: Well. Until we determine there is no threat, I will assume there is one. Do we have a problem here?
Dr. Hamilton: Colonel, with all due respect—
O’Neill: Really?
Dr. Hamilton: When I agreed to this assignment I was under the impression that I was going to be in charge.
O’Neill: You are in charge. Of the other scientists.
Dr. Hamilton: That you even think you are qualified to decide what we can and can’t do around here is—
Teal’c: Colonel O’Neill is indeed qualified, Dr. Hamilton. Having encountered many alien species, as have I since before you were born. I strongly suggest you do what Colonel O’Neill says.
O’Neill: Thank you, Rocco.
O’Neill: Teal’c and I saw one zip right through a tree. Didn’t even slow it down.
Cadet Hailey: That’s so cool.
O’Neill: That’s exactly what I said! {to Teal’c} I said that.
Cadet Hailey: Colonel, please don’t just dismiss what I’m saying because you expect her to be right.
O’Neill: It doesn’t matter who’s right, Cadet.
Cadet Hailey: Colonel, you’re risking your life for nothing.
O’Neill: The decision’s made.
Cadet Hailey: How can it not matter who’s right?
Carter: If he makes a run for the Gate he’s risking his own life. If he waits he risks everyone’s life.
Teal’c: Are you ready, O’Neill?
O’Neill: No. You could warn me.
Teal’c: I am going to shoot you.
O’Neill: I was thinking more along the lines of “on three”. One— {Teal’c shoots him} Two!
O’Neill: I’ll never complain about mosquitoes again.
Entity
Hammond: Glad you could make it, Colonel.
O’Neill: Wouldn’t miss it, sir. This my favorite part.
O’Neill: You look tense.
Jackson: No, I’d say anxious.
Teal’c: I am neither tense nor anxious. Perhaps concerned.
Jackson: Why?
Teal’c: The address for this planet was procured from the Repository of the Ancients.
Hammond: What’s it doing?
Carter: Flying, sir.
O’Neill: MALPs can’t fly.
Jackson: Apparently they can.
O’Neill: Shouldn’t there be a memo on this stuff?
O’Neill about Fraiser: Who put her in charge?
Hammond: The U.S. Air Force.
Teal’c: In medical matters Dr. Fraiser may overrule those of any rank.
O’Neill: I’m not getting all my memos.
O’Neill playing with the camera: I think it likes me.
O’Neill: Forget to change light bulbs, Siler?
Siler: That’s not my job, sir. {Jack glares at him} Yes sir. My fault.
Jackson: It’s obviously fighting to survive.
O’Neill: So do bacteria!
Carter: It’s trying to communicate.
O’Neill: So do bac— !
Carter: This one has memory of you.
O’Neill: The one you’re talking about is a person. Major Samantha Carter.
Carter: Then. I am Maj—
O’Neill: No. No, you’re not.
Jackson: So you came here to? To what?
Carter: Preserve.
Jackson: Preserve your world.
Carter: Yes.
Jackson: How?
Carter: By destroying you.
O’Neill: Well that’s not going to happen.
Jackson: In a way you succeeded. We won’t go back there. You can repair the damage we did and we won’t send any more probes through.
O’Neill: Yes we will.
Jackson: Jack?
O’Neill: We’ll send dozens of them. One after another. I don’t care what it does.
Carter: No.
O’Neill: Leave her. Now.
Carter: You won’t.
O’Neill: You’ve read my file. Think again.
O’Neill: If you want to preserve, leave Major Carter right now.
Double Jeopardy
Darian: I do not understand.
O’Neill: I know how you feel.
Darian: There are two of you?
O’Neill: Ah… it’s more complicated than that.
Gate Guy: Sir, we’re receiving a signal on the IDC frequency, but this is not an authorized SGC code.
Carter: It says “Comtraya.”
Hammond: What does it mean?
O’Neill: Ah… it’s kind of like Shalom or Aloha. that stuff.
Teal’c: It is the greeting used by the artificial lifeform Harlan on PX3-989.
Hammond: The one who duplicated you?
O’Neill: Yes… Sir, please don’t open the Gate. Please.
Carter: I admit he was annoying, but he wasn’t a serious thtreat.
Hammond: Open the iris! {Jack gives Carter a look}
O’Neill: Now. From the beginning.
Harlan: The beginning, yes. They were not happy. They could not stop being you. The portable power pack you invented.
Carter: The robot me.
Harlan: Oh it was ingenious!
Even Hubbald would have been impressed. I have one in my chest right now. Would you like to see it?
Carter: Yes.
O’Neill: No! Show her later.
Carter: Are you saying that our robots are going through the Stargate on missions?
Harlan: Missions. Yes.
O’Neill: What for?
Harlan: I do not really know. What is it that you do?
Hammond: Colonel O’Neill, it was my understanding that the robots agreed to bury their Stargate and never leave their planet.
O’Neill: Yes sir.
Hammond: Then it would seem your robot counterpart is equally as good at following orders as you.
Robo-’Neill: Harlan! I told you to stay away from Earth!
O’Neill: Yeah, well I told you to bury your Gate.
Robo-’Neill: Well you seem to think that solves a lot of problems, don’t you?
Robo-’Neill: Hey, you made this mess.
O’Neill: What we did was help these people!
Robo-’Neill: Oh come on, I know you better than that. You screwed up. And now you’re embarrassed.
O’Neill: That’s not the point.
Robo-’Neill: I told you what you wanted to hear. Besides, what were you going to do? Destroy me?
O’Neill: I might have!
Robo-’Neill: Alright, bring it on, Fly Boy! Let’s go! {they start wrestling}
Carter: Sirs! As much as I’d like to see how this plays out, don’t we have something more important to do?
Exodus
Tanith (Peter Wingfield): What just happened?
Tok’ra: Sensors detect a mother ship entering orbit.
Tanith: We must evacuate immediately.
Tok’ra: We have been expecting it.
O’Neill ringing in: Hey kids. We’re not parked in a red zone, are we?
Teal’c: Tanith was surprised to see us.
Jacob: We didn’t want to give him any warning.
O’Neill: He doesn’t suspect you’re on to him?
Jacob: Not that we know of. We’ll see soon enough.
Teal’c: Of what do you speak?
Jacob: Well, thanks to the mother ship you’re so graciously lending us—
O’Neill: It’s not me. Hammond. It was an order.
Jacob: Well anyway we’ll be ablr to move the Stargate to a planet not currently on the Goa’uld map. We’ll finally be able to ensure the security of a more permanent Tok’ra base. As useful as Tanith has been, relaying false information to Apophis, we can’t afford to take him with us.
Teal’c: What will become of him?
Jacob: We have a little surprise for you.
Tanith (Peter Wingfield): How exactly did a Goa’uld mother ship come into your possession?
O’Neill: Well it was kind of a… trade deal.
Tanith: How so?
O’Neill: Cronus gave us his ship. And he got what was coming to him.
Tanith to Teal’c: You will never escape. The System Lords will hunt you down to the ends of the galaxy.
O’Neill: That guy is a living cliché.
O’Neill: Hey! Don’t scuff the walls. I want this ship back the way we found it.
Jacob: It seems Tanith’s been busy. We’ve received word from one of our operatives that Apophis has been given our location.
O’Neill: I guess he’s trying to make up for the last few months.
Jacob: An attack fleet is on its way.
Carter: This is the sun that Vorash is orbiting. It’s a regular main sequence star with a core temperature of about fifty million degrees and enough hydrogen to burn for five billion years.
O’Neill: Yeah?
Jacob: We wanna blow it up.
Jackson: Wow. That’s, ah…
Daniel and Jack: Ambitious.
Jackson: Um, How are we supposed to remove some of the star’s mass?
Carter: Well, uh, this is going to sound a little crazy. But we dial P3W-451. It’s the planet where we encountered the black hole.
O’Neill: Wow. That sounds a little crazy.
Carter: Yeah.
O’Neill: Something wrong?
Carter: No. I’ve just never blown up a star before.
O’Neill: Well they say the first one is always the hardest.
O’Neill: Uh… Teal’c?
We must not allow Tanith to escape.
O’Neill: It seems we’re going after him.
Jackson: It’s a Jaffa revenge thing.
Carter: Sir, you only have a little more than an hour.
O’Neill: Aw, Carter, relax. We’ll be back in plenty of time. Right, Teal’c? We’ll be back in plenty of time. Buddy? Pal?!
O’Neill: This is sooo last time I help someone move.
Carter: Sir. Where’s Teal’c?
O’Neill: I’m not sure. I think he’s dead.
Jacob: If Apophis has him—
Carter: Well we have to go back.
Jacob: It may not be possible, Sam.