Colonel Cameron Mitchell: Bigger than I thought it’d be.
Harriman: Yes sir. Welcome to Stargate Command.
General Landry: Your service record’s impeccable, Mitchell. What’s wrong with you?
Mitchell: Sir?
General Landry: Nobody’s perfect. Everyone has some sort of character flaw. What’s yours?
Mitchell: General, I’m here to join SG-1.
Landry: Colonel, you’re here to lead SG-1.
Mitchell: Listen, General O’Neill gave me the choice of any posting I wanted. I chose SG-1. That meant Colonel Carter, Teal’c and yourself. Not two letters, a dash and number.
Jackson: I’m sorry. I mean I know I owe you one. We all do.
Teal’c: Where is the rest of your team, Colonel Mitchell?
Mitchell: Actually it’s still kind of SG-Me.
Mitchell: Wow. Politics really does suck everywhere you go.
Teal’c: Indeed.
Mitchell talking to himself: Did I mention I’m on a mission from God?
Mitchell: Listen, Sam, come back and rejoin SG-1.
Carter: I heard you’d been given command. Congratulations.
Mitchell: I’m not kidding. You can keep an eye on R&D in your spare time just like you always have. Besides Dr. Lee is pouting because you got the post over him.
Carter: Really.
Mitchell: No, I made that up.
Mitchell turned down by the former SG-1: Well, Walter. Doesn’t look like we’re getting the band back together.
O’Neill: How are things working out for Mitchell?
Landry: Well you could have told him that SG-1 got reassigned. You should have seen his face.
O’Neill: Yeah. I suppose.
O’Neill: You get well soon. And when you do, you can do anything you want. And I mean… professionally. Anything. Well not… anything.
Vala: Well. Don’t you all have me surrounded.
Landry: Welcome to the SGC. I’m General Landry.
Vala: Vala. Vala Mal Doran. Thank you so much for the lovely greeting party. We all had a wonderful time searching each other, didn’t we boys?
Vala to Mitchell: I know we haven’t met. That, I’m sure I would remember.
Vala: I could have come here and looked for it myself. But I know nothing about your fair planet. Other than it seems to have a rather interesting if somewhat limited gene pool.
Vala: Come to torture me?
Landry: How old are you?
Vala: Mental abuse won’t work either.
Mitchell: Merlin. King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table Merlin?
Jackson: Yes.
Mitchell: Was an ancient.
Jackson: I think so.
Mitchell to Teal’c: See! That is what I’m talking about.
Vala: Try playing hard-to-get.
Mitchell: Look who’s talking.
Vala: Oh, now this brings back memories.
Jackson: How’s that?
Vala: Isn’t this where I beat you up?
Mitchell: Ladies first.
Vala to Jackson: Well then, after you.
Vala: Well. I haven’t been this disappointed since Daniel and I Daniel had sex.
Vala to Teal’c: Give it a try, Muscles. I’ll give you half.
Jackson to Vala: I’m sure if there’s a monster down here it’s going to be much more scared of you than you are of it. Especially once it gets to know you.