1989
Young Shawn: Hey Dad, can I please get a home computer? Mrs. Phillips said it would help prepare me for the future.
Henry: Shawn, get your head out of the clouds. Those things are just another passing fade like rap music, Madonna and LA Law.
Present Day
Shawn: I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on me all these years. You know it’s one of my lifelong dreams to be a part of a four-piece singing group. Five piece is my backup. Now I find out not only were you in one, you let it all slip away. I must know why. I must.
Gus: Enough, Shawn.
Shawn: That was like a New Edition reunion concert minus Bobby and Ronnie.
Shawn: Man, I wish I could have known you when you were black.
Tony (Jaleel White): Normally we wouldn’t even associate ourselves with someone who would partner up with a buster like Gus.
Joon (Keenan Thompson): Buster!
Tony: But I checked out that newsletter. And that article made it seem like you were pretty good at solving stuff without a lot of evidence.
Shawn: The less evidence the better.
Tony: Good. ‘Cause Diddle doesn’t deserve to go out like that.
Tony: Can we hire you or what?
Shawn: Man, I think that might be a little complicated. {he looks at Gus} Then again, what are best friends of mysteriously estranged old college friends for?
Gus: Then it’s settled. There’ll be no reunion unless Jesus agrees to manage the group.
Tony: That’s fine by me.
Tony: Diddle worked for Cyber Vault.
Gus: I know. Diddle worked for Cyber Vault.
Tony: Oh, this dude.
Gus: Companies hired them to protect and encrypt data sent over networks.
Shawn: So they can or can not lift the parental lock on my laptop?
Gus: That was me, Shawn. It was for your own good.
Tony: Now you feel where we’re coming from. How ’bout you, Gus?
Joon: Oh man, he’s not even hearin’ it. Much less feelin’ it.
Shawn: Gus, it’s clear to the three of us that you are neither hearing it nor feeling it. What I can’t discern is, are you mad at it?
Shawn: Don’t be the American adaptation of the British Gus.
Gus: I get claustrophobic, Shawn.
Shawn: You are a cadaver. And we have to cover you because cadavers don’t wear shirts from Abercrombie and Fletch.
Gus: It’s Abercrombie and Fitch! And no, you haven’t heard it both ways.
Shawn: Sh!
Woody the Coroner (Kurt Fuller): Hey there.
Shawn: Hi. You must be the new coroner.
Woody the Coroner: Yeah, I just transferred over. But don’t worry, I’ve been playing with dead things since I was a toddler.
Juliet: I’m sure that your girlfriend appreciates you using her as a tactic to scam information. Gold star, Shawn. Really. {She walks off as Gus walks in}
Gus: Well?
Shawn: Crashed and burned. Then somehow crashed again in Chile only to be eaten by my soccer teammates. We’re on our own.
Shawn: Wow. This guy’s almost as organized as you are.
Gus: Those other two brothers, they couldn’t color tab their way out of a Staples.
Shawn: Really? Now you’re on them because they’re not anal retentive enough?
Gus: I’m just saying.
Shawn: What happened between you guys?
Gus: Move on, Shawn.
Shawn: Your boy liked big butts and I can not lie.
Gus: What are you talking about, Shawn?
Shawn: Excuse us. We were never formally introduced. I’m world renowned psychic lothario, Shawn Spencer. This is my associate—
Gus: Gus. But you can call me John Slade.
Henry: I thought you two were wusses. You’re commandos compared to these guys.
Shawn: What the? I specifically told you guys to stay at my Dad’s.
Tony: Yeah, but then you gave us the nod. So clearly you were saying, “Don’t trust something this important to Gus. B.”
Shawn: No. I’m not nearly adept enough at using B to work it into a nod. I was just, I was saying, “Goodbye for now.”
Gus: How many times have I told you not to mess with the nod?
Shawn: Never. You’ve never once said that to me.
Det. Moses Johnson (Tony Todd): You two sure have a propensity for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Shawn: Fellahs. “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye.” Just like the old days. Minus the hair and the satin.