Seth: Thor. That’s a strong name. No one’s gonna mess with Thor.
Ryan: Thanks.
Seth: Seth’s a good name for a boy too. Although at Camp Takahoe I was often referred to as a girl. So I guess it works either way.
Ryan: Can we not play the name game?
Seth: Not having anyone pick on me, there’s really been no need for the Seth Cohen retaliatory zinger.
Kirsten on the phone: My dad hates cilantro. If you put cilantro on anything I may be uninvite to the wedding.
Sandy: Somebody get me some cilantro.
Kirsten: And colored lights no way. White lights only. Because colored lights remin my father of a carnival. And he hates carnies.
Sandy: Note to self: hang with carnies.
Sandy: You’re not in school.
Ryan: Yeah, we were at the doctor’s office.
Kirsten: Is everything okay?
Seth: Yeah, it’s fine.
Theresa: I’m pregnant.
Seth: Well, except for that.
Summer: I’m freaking out.
Seth: You’re freaking out? What about Ryan and Theresa?
Summer: What about my best friend.
Seth: Princess Sparkle is freaking out?
Summer: Marissa, dumb ass.
Seth: Oh. I always get those two confused. They both have really shiny hair.
Theresa: 85¢. Great. I’ll put it towards the baby’s college tuition.
Caleb: So. What are you going to do when I’m not around to make you feel better about yourself?
Sandy: What, are you going somewhere?
Caleb: Maybe. Like say, San Quentin.
Sandy: So that’s why you wanted us out of the restaurant so fast. You sneaky… not-so-successful son of a bitch.
Jimmy: Hey kiddo. What are you doing?
Marissa: Oh you know. Preparing to move into the House on Haunted Hill.
Jimmy: Hey, your mom has to wake up every morning and be Julie Cooper. That is punishment enough.
Seth: Hey man. They raised me. Okay. Proof pudding. Speaking of pudding, mother, do we have any tapioca on tap?
Kirsten: You are king of the segues.
Seth: I just love pudding. It’s so fun to say. Pudding. Pudding. Puuudding.
Kirsten: I have my secret recipe. Takeout.
Kirsten to Theresa: You won’t want to drive. I’m an excellent driver and an amazing parker.
Marissa: I think we should spend this whole summer just being normal.
Ryan: We’re not holding Seth to that are we?
Marissa: No, no. That’d be impossible.
Ryan: You’re talking to a boat, Seth.
Seth: Yeah, I talk to a plastic horse, too. But that never worries anyone.
Ryan: It worried me.
Theresa: Not having this baby makes the most sense.
Kirsten: You don’t have to make the decision that makes the most sense.
Sandy: Do you know what Ryan’s going through right now?!
Kirsten: Not as well as I know what she’s going through.
Kirsten: Denial is a very effective coping mechanism.
Summer: I can’t believe your boat’s name is Summer. What a coincidence. My name’s Summer, your boat’s name is Summer. That’s kind of crazy.
Seth: Yeah. It’s just crazy.
Summer: Six thousand dollars in cash? What are you, fleeing the country or something?
Seth: No, it’s for Ryan.
Summer: What? For vintage wife-beaters?
Sandy: It’s ironic. Julie leaves Jimmy, marries you, now he’s worth millions. And you’re gonna be broke.
Caleb: I don’t believe in irony.
Sandy: Well that’s too bad. Because, well it might be just the thing to get you through this.
Seth: I think it was on this very stretch of beach where we first got our asses kicked by the water polo team.
Ryan: Yeah. Could be.
Seth: Yes, it definitely tastes the same.
Marissa: Wait, when was that?
Ryan: When I first got here.
Seth: Yeah it was after the fashion show at Holly’s beach house.
Summer: You guys were at that party?
Seth: Those were the days.
Ryan: I’ve been thinking. I think… I need to go back. I can’t let Theresa do this by herself. I’m leaving.
Marissa: Believe me, if there was something I could do, I would.
Seth: Yeah, well, I think you’ve done enough, so…
Marissa: What does that mean?
Seth: I just don’t think even Ryan would be back with Theresa if it weren’t for you and Oliver in the first place.
Summer: Cohen!
Seth: Really. All you ever did was drag that kid into your messed-up life.
Marissa: Right. And all you ever did was use him to meet girls and get out of fights.
Sandy: I told you. You could’ve done worse.
Sandy: Just because you’re leaving doesn’t mean I’m letting you go. pause. Now, come on, get dressed. You’re about to witness the most unholy of holy unions.
Summer: They sent me out to find you. Found you. I figured you’d be stuffing your pockets with cocktail weinies.
Summer: You’re still gonna see him. Chino’s not that far away.
Seth: I just can’t believe he’s leaving. He’s the first real friend I’ve ever had. He’s the only real friend I’ve ever had.
Summer: No. You have me.
Seth: Yeah, but that’s not the same thing. You don’t get it. Before he got here, I was the biggest loser. This place was hell for me, okay? I can’t help him and I just, I can’t even imagine what’s it’s gonna be like here without him.
Summer: We’ll get through it. I promise.
Seth: Could you tell them I’ll be back in a few moments, please?
Summer: Sure.
Seth to Summer: And, for the record? The boat was named after you.
Kirsten: A little something for the road. Don’t worry, I didn’t make it. But if I did learn to cook, could we convince you to stay?
Sandy: Thank you. For inviting me into your home. You guys. This year was, ah…
Kirsten: For us too. {they hug}
Sandy: And Kirsten’s not even a hugger.
Kirsten: You always know how to ruin a moment.