Previously
Sherlock: It’s a trick. Just a magic trick.
Watson: No. All right stop it now.
Sherlock: No, stay exactly where you are. Don’t move.
Watson: All right.
Sherlock: Keep your eyes fixed on me. Please, will you do this for me?
Watson: Do what?
Sherlock: This phone call, it’s, um… it’s my note. That’s what people do, don’t they? Leave a note.
Watson: Leave a note when?
Sherlock: Goodbye, John.
Watson: Nope. Don’t—
Derren Brown: John. John. Looks at me. Look at me. And sleep. Sleep. Right away down. Right away, sound asleep. That’s good. That’s good, the sound of my voice just there in the center of your head and floating all the way around you. And you will awaken in 3… 2… 1… zero.
Detective Inspector Lestrade (Rupert Graves): Bollocks!
Philip Anderson (Jonathan Aris): No no no no. It’s obvious. That’s how he did it. It’s obvious.
Lestrade: Derren Brown? Let it go. Sherlock’s dead.
Anderson: Is he?
Lestrade: There was a body. It was him. It was definitely him. Molly Hooper laid him out.
Anderson: No, she’s lying. It was Jim Moriarty’s body with a mask on.
Lestrade: A mask? A bungee rope, a mask, Derren Brown. Two years and the theories keep getting more stupid. How many more you got for me today?
Anderson: Well, you know the paving slabs in that whole area? Even the exact ones that he landed on? You know they were all–
Lestrade: Guilt. That’s all this is. You pushed us all into thinking that Sherlock was a fraud, you and Donovan. You did this and it killed him and he’s staying dead. Do you honestly believe that if you have enough stupid theories it’s gonna change what really happened?
Anderson: I believe in Sherlock Holmes.
Lestrade: Yeah, well that won’t bring him back.
Reporter: …And that after extensive police investigations, Richard Brook did indeed prove to be the creation of James Moriarty.
Reporter: In unprecedented scenes there was uproar in court, where Sherlock Holmes was vindicated and cleared of all suspicion.
Reporter: Sadly all this comes too late for the detective, who became something of a celebrity two years ago.
Reporter: Questions are now being asked as to why police let matters get so far.
Reporter: Sherlock Holmes fell to his death from the top of London’s Bart’s Hospital. Although he left no note, friends say he it was likely he was unable to cope with the slow…
Lestrade: Well then. To absent friends. Sherlock.
Anderson: Sherlock.
Lestrade: And may God rest his soul.
Captor interrogating the spy: You broke in here for a reason. Just tell us why and you can sleep. Remember sleep? Huh? … What? {the spy whispers in his ear}
Captor 2: Well? What did he say?
Captor: He said that I used to work in the Navy… where I had an unhappy love affair. That the electricity isn’t working in my bathroom… and that my wife is sleeping with our next door neighbor. The coffin maker. And if I go home now I’ll catch them at it. I knew it! I knew there was something going on! {he rushes out}
Captor/Mycroft Holmes (Mark Gatiss): So, my friend. Now it’s just you and me. You have no idea the trouble it took to find you. in English: Now listen to me, there’s an underground terrorist network active in London, and a massive attack is imminent. Sorry, but the holiday is over. Brother dear. Back to Baker Street, Sherlock Holmes.
Mycroft: You have been busy, haven’t you? Quite the busy little bee.
Sherlock: Moriarty’s network. Took me two years to dismantle it.
Mycroft: And you’re confident you have?
Sherlock: The Serbian site was the last piece of the puzzle.
Mycroft: Yes. You got yourself in deep there with Baron Maupertuis. Quite a scheme.
Sherlock: Colossal.
Mycroft: Anyway, you’re safe now.
Sherlock: Hm.
Mycroft: Small thank you wouldn’t go amiss.
Sherlock: What for?
Mycroft: For wading in. In case you’ve forgotten, field work is not my natural milieu.
Sherlock: Wading in? You sat down, watched me being beaten to a pulp!
Mycroft: I got you out.
Sherlock: No, I got me out. Why didn’t you intervene sooner?
Mycroft: I couldn’t risk giving myself away, could I? It would have ruined everything.
Sherlock: You were enjoying it.
Mycroft: Nonsense.
Sherlock: Definitely enjoying it.
Mrs. Hudson (Una Stubbs) about the sugar: Oh no. You don’t take it, do you?
Watson: No.
Mrs. Hudson: You forget a little thing like that.
Watson: Yes.
Mrs. Hudson pointedly: You forget lots of little things, it seems.
Watson: Uh huh.
Mrs. Hudson about the moustache: Not sure about that. Ages you.
Watson: Just trying it out.
Mrs. Hudson: Well it ages you.
Watson: Look–
Mrs. Hudson: I’m not you’re mother, I’ve no right to expect it.
Watson: No–
Mrs. Hudson: But just one phone call, John! Just one phone call would have done.
Watson: I know.
Mrs. Hudson: After all we went through.
Watson: Yes. I am sorry.
Mrs. Hudson: Look, I understand how difficult it was for you after… after…
Watson: I just let it slide, Mrs. Hudson. I let it all slide. And it just got got harder and harder to pick up the phone somehow.
Do you know what I mean?
Agent: One of our men died getting this information. All the traffic, all the chatter concurs. There’s going to be a terror strike on London. A big one.
Sherlock: And what about John Watson?
Mycroft: John?
Sherlock: Have you seen him?
Mycroft: Oh yes. We meet up every Friday for fish and chips. {handing him a dossier} I’ve kept a weather eye on him, of course. We haven’t been in touch at all to… prepare him.
Sherlock seeing Watson’s new look: Oh no. Well we’ll have to get rid of that.
Mycroft: We?
Sherlock: He looks ancient. I can’t be seen to be wandering around with an old man.
Mrs. Hudson: So why now? What changed your mind?
Watson: Well I’ve got some news.
Mrs. Hudson: Oh god. Is it serious?
Watson: What? No. No, I’m not ill. Well I’m… moving on.
Mrs. Hudson: You’re immigrating.
Watson: Nope. Ah, no. I’ve met someone.
Mrs. Hudson: Oh lovely!
Watson: Yeah, we’re getting married. Well I’m going to ask anyway.
Mrs. Hudson: So soon after Sherlock?
Watson: Well yes.
Mrs. Hudson: What’s his name?
Watson: It’s a woman.
Mrs. Hudson: A woman!
Watson: Yes of course it’s a woman.
Mrs. Hudson: You really have moved on, haven’t you.
Sherlock: I think I’ll surprise John. He’ll be delighted.
Mycroft: You think so?
Sherlock: Hm. Pop into Baker Street. Who knows, jump out of a cake.
Mycroft: Baker Street? He isn’t there anymore. Why would he be? It’s been two years. He’s got on with his life.
Sherlock: What life? I’ve been away.
Sherlock: Where’s he going to be tonight?
Mycroft: How would I know?
Sherlock: You always know.
Mycroft: He has a dinner reservation in the Marylebone Road. Nice little spot. They have a few bottles of the 2000 Saint-Emilion, though I prefer the 2001.
Sherlock: I think maybe I’ll just drop by.
Mycroft: You know, it is just possible that you won’t be welcome.
Sherlock: No it isn’t.
Sherlock: Now. Where is it?
Mycroft: Where’s what?
Sherlock: You know what.
Agent bringing in his coat: Welcome back, Mr. Holmes.
Sherlock: Thank you. {to Mycroft} Blad.
Sherlock: Madame, can I suggest you look at this menu. It’s, ah, completely identical.
Sherlock: Can I help you with anything, sir?
Watson: Hi. Yeah, I’m looking for a bottle of champagne. A good one.
Sherlock: Hm. These are excellent vintages.
Watson: That’s not really my area. What do you suggest?
Sherlock: Well you cannot possibly go wrong. But if you’d like my personal recommendation… this last one on the list is a favorite of mine. It is, you might in fact say, like a face from the past. {he takes off the glasses}
Watson oblivious: Great. I’ll have that one please.
Sherlock: It is familiar but with a quality of surprise.
Watson: Well, ah, surprise me.
Sherlock: Certainly endeavouring to, sir.
Mary Morstan (Amanda Abbington): Now then, what did you want to ask me?
Watson: More wine?
Mary: No I’m good with water, thanks. So.
Watson: Ah, so. Mary. Listen. Um. I know it hasn’t been long. And I know we haven’t known each other for a long time…
Mary: Go on.
Watson: Yes, I will. As you know these last couple of years haven’t been easy for me.
And meeting you… yeah, meeting you has been the best thing that possibly have happened.
Mary: I agree.
Watson: What?
Mary: I agree. I’m the best thing that could have happened to you. Sorry.
Watson: Well, no. It’s, um… So, if you’ll have me, Mary, could you see your way, um… if you’ll see your way to…
Sherlock: Sir, I think you will find this vintage exceptionally to your liking. It has all the qualities of the old, with some of the color of the new.
Watson: No, sorry, not now. Please.
Sherlock: Like a gaze from a crowd of strangers suddenly one is aware of staring into the face of an old friend.
Watson: No, look, seriously, could you just– {realizing}
Sherlock: Interesting thing, a tuxedo. Lends distinction to friends and anonymity to waiters.
Mary: John? John, what is it? What?
Sherlock: Well then. Short version. Not dead. Bit mean, springing it on you like that, I know. Could have given you a heart attack, probably still will. In my defense it was very funny. okay it’s not a great defense.
Mary: Oh no, you’re–
Sherlock: Oh yes.
Mary: Oh my god–
Sherlock: Not quite.
Mary: You died. You jumped off a roof.
Sherlock: No.
Mary: You’re dead.
Sherlock: No, I’m quite sure. I checked. Excuse me. {he starts to wipe off the moustache} Does, ah, does yours rub off too?
Mary: Oh my god. Oh my god. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?
Sherlock: Okay, John, I’m suddenly realizing I owe you some sort of an apology.
Mary: Okay, John, just keep…
Watson: Two years. {he tries to compose himself} Two years. I thought… I thought… you were dead. Hm. And you let me grieve. Hm? How could you do that? How?
Sherlock: Wait, before you do anything that you might regret, one question. Just let me ask one question. Are you really going to keep that? {Watson tackles him}
Sherlock: I calculated that there were thirteen possibilities once I’d invited Moriarty onto the roof. I wanted to avoid dying if at all possible. The first scenario involved hurling myself into a parked hospital van filled with body bags. Impossible. The angle was too steep. Secondly, a system of Japanese wrestling–
Watson: You know for a genius you can be remarkably thick.
Sherlock: What?
Watson: I don’t care how you faked it, Sherlock. I want to know why.
Sherlock: Why? Because Moriarty had to be stopped. Oh. Why as in… I see. Yes. Why. That’s a little more difficult to explain.
Watson: I’ve got all night.
Sherlock: Actually, um, that was mostly Mycroft’s idea.
Watson: Oh, so this was your brother’s plan.
Mary: Oh, well he would have needed a confidante.
Sherlock: Mm hm.
Mary: Sorry.
Watson: But he was the only one. The only one who knew?
Sherlock: A couple of others. It was a very elaborate plan. It had to be. The next of the thirteen possibilities–
Watson: Who else? Who else knew? Who?!
Sherlock: Molly.
Watson: Molly!
Mary: John–
Sherlock: Molly Hooper and some of my homeless network and that’s all.
Watson: Okay. okay. So just your brother and Molly Hooper and a hundred tramps.
Sherlock: No! Twenty-five at most. {Watson launches at him again}
Sherlock: Seriously, it’s not a joke. You’re really keeping this?
Watson: Ah, yeah.
Sherlock: You’re sure?
Watson: Mary likes it.
Sherlock: Mm… no she doesn’t.
Watson: She does.
Sherlock: She doesn’t.
Mary: Wha– Don’t.
Watson: Oh, brilliant!
Mary: I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you.
Watson: Really no, this is charming. I’ve really missed this.
Watson: One word, Sherlock! That is all I would have needed! One word to let me know that you were alive!
Sherlock: I’ve nearly been in contact so many times, but… I worried that, you know, you might say something indiscreet.
Watson: What?
Sherlock: Oh you know, let the cat out of the bag.
Watson: Oh so this is my fault? {Mary starts laughing} Why am I the only one who thinks that this is wrong?! The only one reacting like a human being!
Sherlock: Over-reacting.
Watson: Over-reacting!
Mary: John!
Watson: Over-reacting! So you fake your own death and you waltz in here, large as bloody life, but I’m not supposed to have a problem with that, no. Because Sherlock Holmes thinks it’s a perfectly okay thing to do!
Sherlock: Shut up, John! I don’t want everyone knowing I’m still alive.
Watson: Oh, so it’s still a secret, is it?
Sherlock: Yes! It’s still a secret. Promise you won’t tell anyone.
Watson: Swear to God!
Sherlock: London is in danger, John. There’s an imminent terrorist attack and I need your help.
Watson: My help?
Sherlock: You have missed this. Admit it. The thrill of the chase. The blood pumping through your veins. Just the two of us against the rest of the world. {Watson head butts him}
Sherlock: I don’t understand. I said I’m sorry. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?
Mary: Gosh, you don’t know anything about human nature, do you?
Sherlock: Hm… nature? No. Human? No.
Mary: I’ll talk him ’round.
Sherlock: You will?
Mary: Oh yeah.
Watson: Can you believe his nerve?
Mary: I like him.
Watson: What?
Mary: I like him.
Sherlock: Those things will kill you.
Lestrade: Oh you bastard.
Sherlock: It’s time to come back. You’ve been letting things slide, Graham.
Lestrade: Greg.
Sherlock: Greg. {Lestrade pauses and then bear hugs him}
Sherlock: No. Stay exactly where you are.
Watson: Where are you?
Sherlock: Don’t move. Keep your eyes fixed on me.
Watson: What? What’s happening?What’s going on?
Sherlock: Please, will you do this for me? Please?
Watson: Do what?
Sherlock: This phone call, it’s my note. That’s what people do, don’t they? Leave a note. {Moriarty starts to giggle and Sherlock shushes him}
Watson: Leave a note when?
Sherlock: Goodbye, John.
Watson: Nope. Sherlock!
{Sherlock and Moriarty laugh and then, after a moment, go in for a kiss}
Anderson: WHAT!? Are you out of your mind?
Laura: I don’t see why not. It’s just as plausible as some of your theories.
Anderson: Look, if you’re not going to take it seriously, Laura, you can–
Laura: I do take it seriously. I don’t think we should wear hats.
Anderson: I founded the Empty Hearse so like-minded people could meet, discuss theories… Sherlock’s still out there. I’m convinced of it. {the television suddenly breaks the news of Sherlock’s reappearance}
Laura: Oh my God. Oh. My. God.
Mary: What are you doing?
Watson: Having a wash.
Mary: You’re shaving it off.
Watson: Well you hate it.
Mary: Sherlock hates it.
Watson: Apparently everyone hates it.
Mary: Oo. Are you going to see him again?
Watson: No. I’m going to work.
Mary: Oh. And after work are you going to see him again?
Mary: God, I had six months of bristly kisses for me and then his nibs turns up and all it’s–
Watson: I don’t shave for Sherlock Holmes.
Mary: You should put that on a t-shirt.
Watson: Shaddup.
Mary: Or what?
Watson: Or I’ll marry you.
Sherlock: London. It’s like a great cesspool into which all kinds of criminals, agents and drifters are irresistibly drained. Sometimes it’s not a question of who. It’s a question of who knows. If this man cancels his papers, I need to know. If this woman leaves London without putting her dog into kennels, I need to know. There are certain people, they are markers. If they start to move I’ll know something’s up. Like rats deserting a sinking ship.
Mycroft: All very interesting, Sherlock. But the terror alert has been raised to critical.
Sherlock: Boring. Your move.
Mycroft: We have solid information. An attack is coming.
Sherlock: Solid information. A secret terrorist organization’s planning an attack. That’s what secret terrorist organizations do, isn’t it? It’s their version of golf.
Mycroft: An agent gave his life to tell us that.
Sherlock: Hm. Perhaps he shouldn’t have done. He was obviously just trying to show off.
Mycroft: None of these markers of yours is behaving in any way suspiciously? Your move.
Sherlock: No, Mycroft. But you have to trust me. I’ll find the answer. But it’ll be in an odd phrase in an online blog, or an unexpected trip to the countryside. Or a misplaced Lonely Hearts ad. Your move.
Mycroft: I’ve given the Prime Minister my personal assurance you’re on the case.
Sherlock: I am on the case. We’re both on the case. Look at us right now. {the Operation buzzer sounds}
Mycroft: Oh bugger!
Sherlock: Oopsie. Can’t handle a broken heart. How very telling.
Mycroft: Don’t be smart.
Sherlock: That takes me back. “Don’t be smart, Sherlock. I’m the smart one.”
Mycroft: I am the smart one.
Sherlock: I used to think I was an idiot.
Mycroft: Both of us thought you were an idiot, Sherlock.
Mrs. Hudson: I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it, him sitting in his chair again. Oh, isn’t it wonderful, Mr. Holmes?
Mycroft: I can barely contain myself.
Sherlock: Oh he really can, you know.
Mrs. Hudson: He’s secretly pleased to see you underneath all that.
Sherlock: Sorry, which of us?
Mrs. Hudson: Both of you.
Mycroft: Why are we playing games?
Sherlock: London’s terror alert has been raised to critical. I’m just passing the time. Let’s do deductions. A client left this while I was out. What do you reckon? {he tosses Mycroft a hat}
Mycroft: I’m busy.
Sherlock: Oh go on, it’s been an age.
Mycroft: I always win.
Sherlock: Which is why you can’t resist.
Mycroft: I find nothing irresistible in the hat of a well-travelled, anxious, sentimental, unfit creature of habit with appalling halitosis. {pause} Damn.
Sherlock: Isolated too, don’t you think?
Mycroft: Why would he be isolated?
Sherlock: He?
Mycroft: Obviously.
Sherlock: Why? Size of the hat?
Mycroft: Don’t be silly. Some women have large heads too. No, he’s recently had his hair cut. You can see the little hairs adhering to the perspiration stains on the inside.
Sherlock: Some women have short hair too.
Mycroft: Balance of probability.
Sherlock: Not that you’ve ever spoken to a woman with short-haired or, you know, a woman.
Mycroft: Stains show he’s out of condition. He’s sentimental because the hat has been repaired three, four–
Sherlock: Five times. Very neatly. The cost of the repairs exceeds the cost of the hat so he’s mawkishly attached to it. But it’s more than that. One, perhaps two patches would indicate sentimentality. But five? Five’s obsessive behavior. Obsessive-compulsive.
Mycroft: Hardly. Your client left it behind. What sort of an obsessive-compulsive would do that? The earlier patches are extensively sun-bleached, so he’s worn it abroad. In Peru.
Sherlock: Peru?
Mycroft: This is a chullo. The classic headgear of the Andes. It’s made of Alpaca.
Sherlock: Nope.
Mycroft: No?
Sherlock: Icelandic sheep wool. Similar, but very distinctive if you know what you’re looking for. I’ve written a blog on the varying tensile strengths of different natural fibers.
Mrs. Hudson: I’m sure there’s a crying need for that.
Sherlock: You said he was anxious.
Mycroft: The bobble on the left side has been badly chewed. Which shows he’s a man of a nervous disposition.
Sherlock: But also a creature of habit because he hasn’t chewed the bobble on the right.
Mycroft: Precisely.
Sherlock: Brief sniff of the offending bobble tells us everything we need to know about the state of his breath. Brilliant.
Mycroft: Elementary.
Sherlock: But you’ve missed his isolation.
Mycroft: I don’t see it.
Sherlock: Plain as day.
Mycroft: Where?
Sherlock: There for all to see.
Mycroft: Tell me.
Sherlock: Plain as the nose on your–
Mycroft: Tell me!
Sherlock: Well anybody who wears a hat as stupid as this isn’t in the habit of hanging around other people, is he?
Mycroft: Not at all. Maybe he just doesn’t mind being different. He doesn’t necessarily have to be isolated.
Sherlock: Exactly.
Mycroft: I’m sorry?
Sherlock: He’s different, so what? Why would he mind. You’re quite right. Why would anyone mind?
Mycroft: I’m not lonely, Sherlock.
Sherlock: How would you know?
Mycroft: Yes. Back to work, if you don’t mind.
Mrs. Hudson: Sherlock.
Sherlock: Hm?
Mrs. Hudson: Talk to John.
Sherlock: I tried talking to him. He made his position quite clear.
Molly: You wanted to see me.
Sherlock: Yes. Molly.
Molly: Yes.
Sherlock: Would you… would you like to solve crimes–
Molly: Have dinner?
Molly: Are you sure about this?
Sherlock: Absolutely.
Molly: Should I be making notes?
Sherlock: If that makes you feel better.
Molly: Only it’s just that, that’s what John says he does so if I’m being John–
Sherlock: You’re not being John. You’re being yourself.
Mr. Harcourt (Robin Sebastian): Well absolutely no one should have been allowed to empty that bank account other than myself and Helen.
Sherlock: Why didn’t you assume it was your wife?
Mr. Harcourt: Because I’ve always had total faith in her.
Sherlock: No, it’s because you emptied it.
Mr. Harcourt: Weight loss, hair dye, botox, affair, {handing the wife a card} lawyer. Next!
Sherlock: I won’t insult your intelligence by explaining it to you.
Lestrade: No, please. Insult away.
Molly: Why would someone go to all that trouble?
Sherlock: Why indeed, John.
Howard Shilcott (David Fynn): The train never stops and the man vanishes. Good innit?
Sherlock: I know that face.
Sherlock: I know a fantastic fish shop just off the [] Road. The manager always gives me extra portions.
Molly: Did you get him off a murder charge?
Sherlock: Nope. Helped him put up some shelves.
Molly: Sherlock. What was today about?
Sherlock: Saying thank you.
Molly: For what?
Sherlock: For everything you did for me.
Molly: It’s okay. It was my pleasure.
Sherlock: No. I mean it.
Molly: I don’t mean pleasure. I mean I didn’t mind. I wanted to.
Sherlock: Moriarty slipped up, he made a mistake. Because the one person he thought didn’t matter at all to me was the one person who mattered most. You made it all possible. But you can’t do this again, can you?
Molly: I had a lovely day. I’d love to, I just, um…
Sherlock: Congratulations, by the way.
Molly: He’s not from work.
Sherlock: I hope you’ll be very happy, Molly Hooper. You deserve it. After all not all the men you fall for turn out to be sociopaths. {he kisses her and walks out the door}
Molly: Maybe it’s just my type.
Save souls now!
John or James Watson?
Saint or Sinner?
James or John?
The more is Less?
Mom (Wanda Bentham): I can’t tell you how glad we are, Sherlock. All that time, people thinking the worst of you. We’re just so pleased it’s all over.
Dad (Timothy Carlton): Ring us more often, won’t you? She worries.
Mom: Promise?
Sherlock: Promise.
Watson: Clients?
Sherlock: Just my parents.
Watson: Your parents?
Sherlock: In town for a few days.
Watson: Your parents?
Sherlock: Mycroft promised to take them to a matinee of Les Miz. Tried to talk me into doing it.
Watson: Those were your parents?
Sherlock: Yes.
Watson: Well. That is not what I…
Sherlock: What?
Watson: I mean they’re just so… ordinary.
Sherlock: It’s a cross I have to bear.
Watson: Did they know too?
Sherlock: Hm?
Watson: That you spent the last two years playing hide-and-seek.
Sherlock: Maybe.
Watson: Ah, so that’s why they weren’t at the funeral.
Sherlock: Sorry. Sorry again. … Sorry.
Sherlock: I see you shaved it off then.
Watson: Yeah. It wasn’t working for me.
Sherlock: I’m glad.
Sherlock: I can’t see the pattern It’s too nebulous. Why would an agent give his life to tell us something incredibly insignificant? That’s what’s strange.
Watson: Give his life?
Sherlock: according to Mycroft. There’s an underground network planning an attack on London. That’s all we know. These are my rats, John.
Watson: Rats?
Sherlock: My markers. Agents, lowlifes. People who might find themselves arrested or their diplomatic immunity suddenly rescinded. If one of them starts acting suspiciously we know something’s up. Five of them are behaving perfectly normally. But the sixth…
Watson: I know him, don’t I?
Sherlock: Lord Moran. Peer of the realm. Minister for Overseas Development. Pillar of the establishment.
Watson: Yes.
Sherlock: He’s been working for North Korea since 1996.
Watson: What?
Sherlock: He’s the big rat. Rat Number One. He’s just done something very suspicious indeed.
Sherlock: Mycroft’s intelligence, it’s not nebulous. It’s always specific. Incredibly specific.
Watson: What do you mean?
Sherlock: Not an underground network, John. It’s an Underground network.
Watson: Right. What?
Sherlock: Sometimes a deception is so audacious, so outrageous that you can’t see it even when it’s staring you in the face. Look. Seven carriages leave Westminster. But only six carriages arrive at St. James’s Park.
Watson: What? But that’s impossible.
Sherlock: Moran didn’t disappear. The entire tube compartment did.
Sherlock: Lord Moran, he’s a peer of the realm. Normally he’d sit in the House. Tonight there’s an all-night sitting devoted to the new anti-terrorism bill. But he won’t be there. Not the fifth of November.
Watson: Remember, remember.
Sherlock: The Gunpowder treason and plot.
Watson: So what’s down there, a bomb? {Sherlock rushes out} Oh.
Sherlock: I don’t understand.
Watson: Well there’s a first.
Sherlock: This is the bomb.
Watson: What?
Sherlock: It’s not carrying explosives. The whole compartment is the bomb.
Watson: We need bomb disposal.
Sherlock: There may not be time for that now.
Watson: So what do we do?
Sherlock: I have no idea.
Watson: Well think of something.
Watson: Mind palace.
Sherlock: Hm?
Watson: Use your mind palace.
Sherlock: How will that help?
Watson: You’ve sorted away every fact under the sun!
Sherlock: Oh, do you think I’ve just got “How to defuse a bomb” tucked away in there somewhere?
Watson: Yes!
Sherlock: Maybe.
Sherlock: I can’t do it, John. I don’t know how. Forgive me.
Watson: What?
Sherlock: Please, John. Forgive me for all the hurt that I caused you.
Watson: No no no no. This is a trick.
Sherlock: No.
Watson: Another one of your bloody tricks.
Sherlock: No.
Watson: And you’re just trying to make me say something nice.
Sherlock: Not this time.
Watson: I wanted you not to be dead.
Sherlock: Yeah, well. Be careful what you wish for. If I hadn’t come back you wouldn’t be standing there. You’d still have a future. With Mary.
Watson: Yeah. I know.
Watson: Look, I find it difficult. I find it difficult, this sort of stuff.
Sherlock: I know.
Watson: You are the best and the wisest man that I have ever known. And yes, of course I forgive you.
Anderson: Molly? Molly Hooper? She was in on it?
Sherlock: Yes.
Anderson: Hm. Not the way I’d have done it.
Sherlock: Oh really.
Anderson: No, I’m not saying it’s not clever, but…
Sherlock: What?
Anderson: Bit… disappointed.
Sherlock: Everyone’s a critic.
Sherlock: Your face.
Watson: You utter… you!
Sherlock: Your face. I totally had you.
Watson: You cock! I knew it. I knew it! I…
Sherlock: Oh those things, you said such sweet things. I never knew you cared.
Watson: I will kill you if you ever breath a word of this–
Sherlock: Scout’s honor.
Watson: –to anyone! You knew! You knew how to turn it off!
Sherlock: There’s an off switch. There’s always an off switch. Terrorists can get into all sorts of problems unless there’s an off switch.
Watson: And you did call the police.
Sherlock: Of course I called the police.
Watson: I’m definitely going to kill you.
Sherlock: Oh please. Killing me. That’s so two years ago.
Watson: I’m still waiting.
Sherlock: Hm?
Watson: Why did they try and kill me? IF they knew you were on to them, why go after me? Put me in the bonfire?
Sherlock: I don’t know. I don’t like not knowing.
Watson: You’d have to be an idiot not to see it. You love it.
Sherlock: Love what?
Watson: Being Sherlock Holmes.
Sherlock: I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean.
Watson: Sherlock, you are going to tell me how you did it. How you jumped off that building and survived.
Sherlock: You know my methods, John. I’m known to be indestructible.
Watson: No but seriously. When you were dead I went to your grave.
Sherlock: I should hope so.
Watson: I made a little speech. I actually spoke to you.
Sherlock: I know. I was there.
Watson: I asked you for one more miracle. I asked you to stop being dead.
Sherlock: I heard you.
Sherlock: Anyway. Time to go and be Sherlock Holmes.