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Belles de Jour
Chuck: Where am I?
Eva: You’re safe. Who are you? What’s your name?
Chuck: Henry. Henry Prince.
Eva: You had the dream again. I hoped it wouldn’t follow us from Prague.
Chuck: I guess I’ll have to give it more time.
Eva: Take as long as you need. My uncle said the apartment’s ours and he’s got you a job too.
Chuck: Thank you.
Eva: Welcome to Paris, Henry.
Chuck: Let’s go home.
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Double Identity
Eva: Five more minutes.
Chuck: As pleasurable as those 300 seconds sound, your uncle was already generous enough to help the strange American you brought home from Prague. I don’t want to be late for my first day on the job.
Eva: Tell me you didn’t rob a bank?
Chuck: My grandfather left me a small inheritance. I’ve just been waiting for the right thing to spend it on.
Eva: Well it doesn’t look small to me.
Chuck: It’s enough to get us to London. Then Kerala.
Serena: Chuck, it’s you.
Eva: Who’s here?
Serena: Oh hi. I’m Serena van der Woodsen. I’m really sorry to show up like this. I’ve just been looking for Chuck everywhere.
Eva: Henry, what is she talking about?
Chuck: I don’t know. to Serena. The man you’re looking for is not here.
Chuck: I had a feeling you’d linger.
Serena: I’m not going to leave. Chuck, today I had to identify a body that the police thought was you. Did you do something to that man? If it was self-defense I’m sure that they would understand.
Chuck: I never touched that thief.
Serena: So is Blair right? Is this another one of your games?
Chuck: Do I look like I’m playing?
Serena: I know more than anyone what it’s like to want to reinvent yourself. But just because people are mad at you doesn’t mean you should disappear. My mom is really worried about you.
Chuck: I’m sure she’ll come to celebrate my absence. As will all the people who’ve wished me dead since the day I was born.
Serena: I know things were bad in New York, but if you don’t come home you’ll lose the Empire, you’ll lose everything you ever cared about.
Chuck: I lost the only thing I cared about. They can have everything else.
Serena: I don’t know what you told that girl, but you can’t turn your back on who you really are.
Chuck: I’m going to see an old associate. I’m picking up a passport with my new name on it. After today there is no Chuck Bass.
Serena: I’m staying at Eleanor and Cyrus’ when you realize that’s not true.
Chuck: “I’d rather have nothing than be Chuck Bass.”
Blair: Just because you’re dressed poorly doesn’t mean you’re not Chuck Bass.
Chuck: Why would I want to be him?
Blair: You should have told me you got shot.
Chuck: I’m surprised you didn’t shoot me yourself.
Blair: I have. Many times. In my dreams. The good ones. But if you were really hurt I’d want to know.
Chuck: When I woke up my ID was gone. Nobody knew who I was, nobody was coming to look for me. I realized I might be alive but Chuck Bass doesn’t have to be.
Blair: Changing your name doesn’t change who you are.
Chuck: It’s a good start. A chance to live simply, earn people’s respect. Maybe become a person someone could love.
Blair: Someone did love you. And… you owe it to her and everyone else you’re leaving behind not to run away. Which is what you’re doing. And I don’t think that great man you’re talking about wanting to be is a coward. I think he would face up to what he did.
Chuck: I destroyed the only thing I ever loved.
Blair: I don’t love you anymore. But it takes more than even you to destroy Blair Waldorf.
Chuck: Your world would be easier if I didn’t come back.
Blair: That’s true. But it wouldn’t be my world without you in it.
Eva: When you didn’t come home last night I assumed you’d left with that girl.
Chuck: I owe you an apology. I don’t expect you to understand but where I’m from people lie and cheat and destroy whoever gets in their way. I did it better than any of them. When you dragged me in from that alley, you didn’t just save my life you gave me the hope of a new one.
Eva: Well, the you I’ve been living with never did anything to be ashamed of. I hope you’ll bring some of him with you back to your world.
Chuck: I fully intend to. If you’ll come with me.
Eva: To New York? You got me a ticket?
Chuck: We don’t need tickets. I’m Chuck Bass.
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The Undergraduates
Chuck: Hey.
Eva: Hey.
Chuck: What are you doing up here? I was worried.
Eva: Just looking at your world. It’s magnificent.
Eva: So if you really are the big boss like you say can you make it so that no one comes up here and disturbs us?
Chuck: I already made the call.
Eva: Everything’s so different. I keep wanting to call him Henry.
Chuck: It’s a long story, but it has a happy ending.
Chuck: I’m sorry for what happened with Jenny. She was in a bad place; I could have helped her, instead I just used her pain for my own self-destruction.
Lily: Thank you for the apology. And welcome home. Please don’t disappear again.
Chuck: I don’t intend to. I just hope everyone’s as relieved to see me as you are.
Lily: Well let’s not ask for too much right off the bat, shall we?
Eva: Yesterday, after you left me at the shop I ran into Blair.
Chuck: Let me guess. She took one look at you—radiant in a beautiful gown—and started shredding the dress and your self esteem.
Eva: Some of what she said made sense.
Chuck: That’s Blair. She wouldn’t waste a breath throwing insults if she didn’t think they’d land.
Lily: I love you Charles. And if Eva is everything you say she is, I think she will too.
Chuck: Please let me explain.
Eva: There’s nothing to say. I told you this would happen.
Chuck: It wasn’t you I was ashamed of, it was me.
Eva: What do you have to been ashamed of?
Chuck: Everything I did until the day I met you. Look, I should have told you about my past but I couldn’t risk losing you.
Eva: Well I’m going now. So tell me, who the hell are you, Chuck Bass?
Chuck: You didn’t leave.
Eva: I’m not going to lie. It was hard to hear the things you’ve done. But I’ve seen the man you can be. I choose to believe in that man.
Chuck: Come on, let’s meet my family.
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Touch of Eva
Chuck: I hope you two are coming to my charity event later.
Nate: Party on the roof? We wouldn’t miss it.
Chuck: Good. Because I’m announcing a five million dollar charity.
Nate: Chuck that’s amazing.
Juliet: What? Five million dollars?
What’s the lucky organization?
Eva: Poor thing can’t make up his mind.
Chuck: Petroleum apocalypse, the education crisis, poverty, disease. Not to mention the recession. It seems outside my Bassian bubble the world is a pretty screwed up place.
Chuck: Why are you staring at me?
Nate: Philanthropy. Chatting with the help about sports. It’s nice to see you… nice.
Blair: Good afternoon Chuck. I thought we might enjoy some tea. You know how I adore those Empire [bacon] scones.
Chuck: I know everything about you which is why I know your visit probably has more to do with a scheme than a scone.
Blair: Chuck you’ve changed. What makes you think I haven’t. And speaking of your newfound affinity for the huddled masses, how is the delightful Eva?
Chuck: Leave her alone Blair.
Blair: If you’re as serious about her as Cindy Adams thinks, then we’ll be crossing paths all the time. Don’t you think we should be friends? Eva walks in.
Yay! There she is.
Chuck: Don’t worry, Blair was just—
Blair: Sitting. For some tea. Scone?
Chuck: Actually Blair, she knows. We have no secrets.
Blair: Forgive me for being vulgar, but I’ve always wanted a Baignoire timepiece. Might I see it?
Eva: Oh, I— I don’t have it on. I brought it in to be resized.
Blair: Are you sure you mean resized? Because I think you brought it in to be returned. For cash. See? That is Eva selling the watch. It is pretty. The watch I mean. Not the wad of hundies. Though Eva might disagree.
Chuck: Eva, what’s going on?
Eva: I needed the money for a friend.
Blair: That weak excuse might have worked in the former Vichy Republic, but Chuck and I are savvy New Yorkers.
Chuck: How could I ever be angry at you? Just do me one favor.
Eva: Anything.
Chuck: Pick the charity for me to give my money to. Your heart will find the right one.
Nate: Look at these pictures of Juliet. She’s coming out of the 116th subway station at 10pm on the night she said she had too much work to go out with me. You were right. She’s gotta be seeing someone else. What do I do?
Chuck: Well the old Chuck Bass would have told you to play the same game, make her jealous. But the new Chuck thinks you should be honest. Tell her how you feel; how much you like her.
Nate: I hope you didn’t lose old Chuck’s number. Eva was just spotted at the park, with Blair.
Chuck: Nate Archibald has his “I hate to tell you this” face on.
Nate: Blair’s been looking into Eva’s past.
Chuck: Well we can’t be too surprised about that, can we?
Nate: She found something. Eva is—or at least she was…. Chuck, she’s a prostitute.
Chuck: Nathaniel, I may be nice but I’m still me. You think I didn’t already know this?
Nate relieved: Oh, I— Of course you did. Look I’m sorry. Just be careful, okay? Knowing Blair’s she’s going to try and out this whole thing at the party later.
Chuck: So how’s the humiliation going to go down? Did your scheme team find Eva’s pimp? Is he going to roll up to the press with platforms on?
Blair: No.
Chuck: Oh. Well maybe you’ll project a sex tape of Eva and one of her johns as I make my way up to the dais.
Blair: Chuck, I’m not trying to humiliate anyone. I just wanted you to know the truth, but obviously you already do.
Chuck: Yes. And I don’t care.
Blair: How can you not care? This is your mother all over again! You’re giving your heart to a money grubbing harlot who only cares about herself. Please don’t do this.
Chuck: You just can’t stand to see someone finally change me that wasn’t you.
Chuck about Eva: She fell in love with me when she didn’t know that I was Chuck Bass. And tonight I’m going to show her who that man really is.
Chuck: What do you want now? To tell me Nate’s running a secret drug ring.
Blair: If he was you’d probably make him the CEO of Bass Industries.
Chuck: You have twenty seconds.
Blair: I thought finding out your honey was a hooker would be enough to sway you but you just rewarded her for her tricks.
Pun intended.
Chuck: I found my passport in your suitcase.
Eva: What are you talking about?
Chuck: I should have known. You lied about the watch. You lied about your former career.
Eva: Is that what you think of me?
Chuck: I let you in. Told you everything—the whole of how my mother, my uncle, tried to take me. You sat there and you thought “I’m next”.
Eva: I’m sorry. I’ll pack my things.
Chuck: Only the things you came with.
Blair: You okay?
Chuck: I’m stupid. How could I ever believe someone good would actually love me.
Lily: Charles, thank you for a lovely evening. I am so proud of you. And I had Ivan put your things in your room.
Chuck: What things?
Lily: Um… the package from the Paris police. Your personal effects. Passport, what they sent last week.
Chuck: Eva, stop it. Look, I’m so sorry. I should never have doubted you. I made a terrible mistake.
Eva still packing: You did. Thank you for saying so.
Chuck: Look, you are pure and perfect. I will make this up to you, I promise.
Eva: Chuck, I have to go.
Chuck: No, look, you don’t. Blair set us up. I know better now.
Eva: Of course Blair lied to you. She’s a liar. But you chose to believe her. You are still connected to her. I see it when you’re together. I can feel it when I’m in the room.
Chuck: So let’s go away. Just you and me. Let’s go back to Paris, wherever you want. Right now.
Eva: You will always feel the pull of New York. This is your home. And now it’s time for me to return to mine.
Chuck: Don’t leave. Everybody leaves.
Eva: You’re Chuck Bass. And that means something different now. Don’t forget it. And don’t forget me.
Chuck: I know what you did Blair. It’s despicable even for you. Do you hate me so much you can’t stand to see me happy?
Blair: No—
Chuck: So why did you drive the person I care most about out of town?
Blair: Eva left? Chuck I never meant to—
Chuck: Make her leave me? Of course you did. I need to know why.
Is it possible you still love me?
Blair: How could I still love you after what you did?
Chuck: So you did it just to hurt me. Eva made me into someone I was proud to be. You just brought back my worst self. This means war, Blair.
Blair: Chuck—
Chuck: Me versus you. No limits.
Ivan: I’ll have this clean for you in the morning, sir. I ran into Eva and she said she was leaving. I’m sorry. She’ll be missed.
Chuck: Ivan. You’re fired.
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Goodbye, Columbia
Blair: What are you doing here?
Chuck: Go Lions.
Blair: No. That’s impossible. even for you.
Chuck: The dean’s extended me the courtesy of auditing a few classes. He thought it important I get the feel for campus life before breaking ground on the new Bart Bass Memorial Rotunda.
Blair: What?
Chuck: It’s a building. With a circle ground plan. Usually covered by a dome—
Blair: I know what a rotunda is! You can’t be here. Columbia is mine. What do you want?
Chuck: Funny, last time we spoke I thought I was crystal clear. You took away what I cared about most. To return the favor, I’m going to take Columbia away from you.
Blair: Ms. Chamberlin, whatever Mr. Bass has told you I assure you he has no interest in your class or any idea who you even are.
Martha Chamberlin: Thank you?
Chuck: On the contrary. Once I decided to rebrand The Empire there was only one name on my list. We can talk more as I walk you to your limo.
Martha Chamberlin: Thank you. Good day Miss Waldorf. If you have any questions regarding the class, Mr. Bass will answer them.
Chuck: Actually it turns out Ms. Chamberlin’s class is overenrolled. You didn’t make the cut. Sorry. Mm. I almost forgot how much I used to enjoy your pie.
Zoe: I’m tired of making dossiers and carrying cherry pies. This will be good practice if I ever decide to take Blair down myself.
Chuck: Don’t get ahead of yourself, but I appreciate the enthusiasm.
Blair ripping off Chuck’s scarf: Where is Martha’s date?!
Chuck: Penthouse
suite at The Empire. With a woman I assure you he won’t want to leave until morning; maybe afternoon—depends on his cardio.
Blair: I was going to play nice. You think I don’t have a plan B?
Chuck: Plan B? What could be more cunning and devious than date night.
Blair: I had Dorota get chummy with Martha’s maid, who came over from one of her sweatshops in the Philippines. If I have to I’ll blackmail her for the position.
Chuck: An illegal maid scandal, nobody’s cared about those in years.
Blair: Oh, and a lesbian switcheroo doesn’t make you Blackwater.
Chuck: Switcheroo was for fun. The IRS agent standing by to crawl up Martha’s audit is not.
Blair: A tax fraud setup. They give away Girl Scout badges for that. I have her pre-nup. It has details.
Chuck: I have the nanny. She has pictures. Martha’s ex is in them, so is Martha. It turns out it was a threesome until the nanny turned it into a twosome.
Ms. Chamberlin: Oh my god. You students are psychotic. I have better things to do with my time. Tell the dean I quit.
Chuck: Shame. Sounded like a good class. If you’ll excuse me I’ve heard good things about the Make-Your-Own-Pizza Bar.
Blair: What are you still doing here? I lost the assistant position. The entire faculty thinks I’m just as crazy as you. You’ve made your point. Can’t you take your little celebration elsewhere.
Chuck: If you think I take tonight as some sort of balancing of the scales, I don’t. I’m not trying to make a point Blair. This is just a warm up. Whatever you want, wherever you want it, I am going to be there to take it away from you. I won’t stop until you have nothing.
Blair: You wouldn’t go that far.
Chuck: Who knows my limits since you took away my future.
Blair: That wasn’t your future. That was Henry Prince’s. Destroying me won’t make you happy.
Chuck: Happier.
Blair: The only thing that will make you happy you lost the moment you slept with Jenny Humphrey. And that was the best thing that ever happened to me because I got over you forever.
Chuck: If that’s the truth then why haven’t you told anyone about Jenny? Not your family, not your minions, not Gossip Girl. I know you’re not keeping that secret to protect me.
Blair: You wouldn’t. That revelation would result in mutual destruction. You may be homicidal but you’re not suicidal.
Chuck: A man with nothing to live for is capable of anything.
Gossip Girl: But even the strongest bonds have their limits. And when broken… That if left unchecked, explode like a nuclear bomb.
Chuck: Veronica. Do you still work with Tim Gunn? I need to get an interview for someone who will be applying to Parsons. … Perfect. Yeah, her name’s Jenny Humphrey.
Gossip Girl: Waiting for the fallout. XOXO —Gossip Girl.
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Easy J
Chuck: If you’ll excuse me I’m going to go sit with them. From what I hear badminton players know how to handle a shuttlecock.
Chuck: I heard Jenny was back. I wanted to speak with her.
Dan: And say what? “I’m sorry for taking advantage of you and letting my psycho ex-girlfriend run you out of town”?
Chuck: Something like that. Except without the sarcasm.
Dan: Chuck—
Chuck: Before you say anything I’m only calling because I saw Gossip Girl. I wondered if I might be able to offer some assistance.
Dan: Well unless it’s a murder-suicide I think I’ll pass.
Chuck: So dramatic. You should be a writer.
Chuck: I told you I wouldn’t rest until you were destroyed. Inviting your old sparring partner back was just my way of avoiding doing all the dirty work myself. Jenny always had a talent for making your life a living hell.
Blair: You’ve gone too far. Bringing Jenny back puts both of our reputations at risk.
Chuck: I love to watch you squirm. The pleasure I get from witnessing your shame is considerable. But I doubt Jenny will talk. She thinks she’s above it all. Good Little Humphrey still cares what people think.
Blair: Are you happy now that you’ve humiliated both of us?
Chuck: It’s in your own bloody hands, Lady Macbeth. What did you think would happen when you played Carrie with her dresses?
Blair: I only did it because you lured her back here to torture me.
Chuck: I warned you I wouldn’t stop.
Chuck: Look, we can keep blaming each other for what happened that night or we can admit a harder truth. It was no one’s fault. It was fate. Tragedy.
Blair: If Serena hadn’t kissed Dan then Nate wouldn’t have been at the hospital looking for her. And Jenny wouldn’t have come looking for me.
Chuck: If Dorota hadn’t gone into labor….
Blair: Maybe everything would be different. But it’s not.
Chuck: We’re holding on to the pain because it’s all we have left. But we don’t have to. We have a choice.
Blair: Truce. she takes Chuck’s hand and hesitates. You can see yourself out.
Chuck: I know the way.
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War at the Roses
Chuck: You can’t have Fashion Week in both Paris and Milan. You have to choose.
Blair: Never. But. I will give you Art Basel in Miami and Switzerland.
Dan: Chuck. Hey man, I was just stopping by to see Nate but I guess he’s not here.
Chuck: He’s in his room.
Dan: Oh he is? He’s… not in class? I would have thought—
Chuck: You don’t really know how to stage a run-in, do you? Cut to the chase.
Chuck: Just one more thing before you go. I was wondering, how did you know where Jack was?
Blair: I think I must have read it online.
Chuck: That’s strange. Last I heard he was off the grid.
Blair: If you’ll excuse me, I’m entertaining.
Chuck: Blair just listen to me.
Blair: Why did you do it? Because I knew Jack was in Chile last summer? I only found out because I was desperate for news of you.
Chuck: You were?
Blair: All summer. When I was pretending not to care. I wanted to know where you were. I paid a private eye to look but the only Bass he got was your scaly uncle.
Chuck: Blair as much as I hate being at peace with you I didn’t do this.
Blair: If you can stand there and lie to my face then you’re either pure evil or just a common sociopath.
Chuck: You really believe that?
Blair: Of course I do.
Blair: What are you still doing here Chuck? I threw you out hours ago.
Chuck: I wanted to let you know the treaty is over.
Blair: Fine with me. This pretense of civility was exhausting.
Chuck: Being amicable isn’t in our blood. I’ve realized we’re not friends. Friends have to like each other.
And after what happened tonight, I could never like you.
Blair: I could never like you either. In fact I hate you.
Chuck: I’ve never hated anyone more.
Blair: Every nerve ending in my body is electrified by hatred.
Chuck: There is a fiery pit of hate burning inside me ready to explode.
Blair: So it’s settled then.
Chuck: We’re settled.
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Juliet Doesn’t Live Here Anymore
Chuck: This comforter blocks out so much noise they could sell it to Bose.
Blair: This has got to end.
Chuck: I thought I just did.
Blair: That was the last time.
Nate: Yo. Where have you been? You haven’t been home in days.
Chuck: The New York Marathon was this weekend. Those women run 26.2 miles in under three hours so their warm-ups are key. What about you? Things back on with Juliet? A romantic rendezvous?
Nate: No, that’s over. I’m just actually swinging by her place to return her things she left this week. I just gotta get rid of them so I can finally be done.
Chuck: Closure. The unattainable goal. In my personal experience the closest I’ve come to getting it is through mass amounts of hate-sex. But that’s just me.
Blair: What if someone sees.
Chuck: You don’t like that anymore?
Blair: No, you idiot! I mean what if someone we know sees. Wait, what am I saying? There will be nothing to see. This ends here.
Chuck: What about over there?
Blair: Okay. Hurry.
Blair: What are you doing here? Step any closer and I’ll scream.
Chuck: You better believe you will.
Chuck: Blair. We need to talk. Or rather not talk.
Blair: What don’t you get? I’m here with a date.
Chuck: Professor Forrester isn’t a date, he’s a distraction.
Chuck: I’ll be waiting in a telephone booth across from the dress circle. See you in five.
Chuck: If I could say something. I for one can fully corroborate Miss Waldorf’s story. She was indeed having an affair with Professor Forrester. I know this because I keep tabs on everyone Blair sees and talks to, due to my insatiable jealousy. Though she did state something to the effect that he didn’t quite satisfy her like I used to.
Blair: It’s true.
Serena: Now it’s our turn.
Chuck: Your obsession with Serena has grown tiresome.
Blair: Just because you have no money and delusions of grandeur does not make it okay for you to be a single white trash female.
Juliet: Nate, this isn’t me. You know that.
Nate: How would I ever believe anything you say again.
Blair: Well you can believe the part where she does her own hair.
Serena: You tried to destroy my friendship with Blair, my reputation, my academic career…
Chuck: You failed every time, and now it’s time for you to go.
Juliet: I’m trying to.
Nate: He’s talking about Columbia.
Blair: You don’t belong there anyway.
Chuck: If we catch you hanging around there again there will be consequences.
Blair: And we’re really good at payback.
Blair: There’s nothing I love more than coming home with a victory under my belt. What do you think our count is?
Chuck: For us, a million. The world, zero.
Blair: Sometimes I think a takedown’s better than sex.
Chuck: Don’t get crazy now.
Blair: Well it’s an endorphin rush.
Plus it makes me think of old times. I really appreciate you stepping up tonight.
Chuck: I wanted to say you owe me, but for some reason it didn’t feel right.
Blair: Wow. Holding back from a threat. It’s almost like something a friend would do.
Chuck: Maybe that’s because it’s what we are. Friends.
Blair: Well. Who knew it’d take tons of hate-sex and a public takedown for us to get here.
Chuck: I should be going. Good night, Waldorf.
Blair: Same to you, Bass.
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The Witches of Bushwick
Chuck: So I took your advice about the relaunch. After tonight it’ll be clear I’m back in the game. With Victrola, Gimlet, and The Empire as my flagship.
KC: Yeah, but a black and white ball? It’s so Hilton. Conrad, not Paris.
Chuck: I take your insult as flattering.
KC: Well don’t. People aren’t checking into The Empire for a black tie experience. They come to live like Chuck Bass. No rules, no repercussions.
Chuck: They still can. The hotel’s the same as ever.
KC: But you aren’t. When you disappeared you seriously damaged your brand. And the hotel has paid the price.
Chuck: So what do you suggest?
KC: If you want to rebuild you need to commit to being the hedonist everyone loves to hate. No one wants a soft-hearted has-been who’s worried about dating Blair Waldorf.
Chuck: Trust me, a relationship with Blair is the furthest thing from my mind.
Blair: My black Balenciaga will be perfect to publicly condemn you.
Chuck: I love poplin.
Blair: I love condemnation.
Chuck: I love you. lengthy and awkward pause.
Blair: Of course no one does black like Dior.
Blair: I heard what you said.
Chuck: What conversation are you referring to exactly?
Blair: Three one syllable words that, under the circumstances, you may or may not have meant.
Chuck: Do you want me to have meant them?
Blair: If they were true I would want to know. silence. Of course. People do lose their rational thought during sex. They bark and scream out for God and their mothers. I should get back to Anne.
Chuck: I meant it Blair. With all my heart. You going to say something this time?
Blair: I will. I mean… I do.
Chuck: In our life we can’t have everything. Anne won’t be the only person who might think you’re weak for forgiving me.
Blair: And you won’t build a business based on being New York’s bad boy bachelor.
Chuck: I understand the consequences. Are we willing to pay them?
Gossip Girl: Looks like saints and sinners aren’t the only ones battling for souls tonight.
Chuck: What say we go up in flames together.
Chuck: Just in time to hear KC tell me how I’ve destroyed my Bad Boy business plan once and for all.
KC: I warned you. But it turns out I was wrong. This party is so decadent—and the private rooms frankly illegal, the big romantic gesture showed the hedonist had a heart.
Chuck: So Blair’s the perfect balance.
KC: With the press this will get, you can expect the hotel will be fully booked by Monday.
Chuck: It appears the rules are there to be broken. Apparently we can have everything.
Blair: No, you can. I can’t.
Chuck: I’ll give you the money to start whatever foundation you want.
Blair: It won’t change anything. Anne’s right. As long as I’m with you I’m Hillary in the White House. And I want to be Hillary, Secretary of State but… with better hair.
Chuck: Then you’ll find another way to show the world you’re a force to be reckoned with. We’ll build our futures together.
Blair: I followed my heart all last year and it led me nowhere. Now I need to follow my head.
Chuck: You don’t need to chose between them. Look at Brad and Angelina. They take turns on top.
Blair: Yeah, but she won an Oscar first. I’m sorry, but I have to be Blair Waldorf before I can be Chuck Bass’ girlfriend.
Chuck: I love you.
Blair: I love you too. I don’t expect you to wait.
Chuck: If two people were meant to be together, eventually they’ll find their way back.
Blair: Do you really believe that?
Chuck: I do.
Blair: So do I.
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Gaslit
Blair: What are you doing here?
Chuck: Thanksgiving. The only day of the year it’s acceptable to eat dinner before 8.
Blair: Oh. Of course, right. Thanksgiving.
Dorota: We bring pie.
Chuck: I should have asked Lily if you were coming. I can leave if you’d like.
Blair: Don’t be silly, I was just headed to JFK. But even if I wasn’t we should get used to little run-ins like these. I mean if Bruce and Demi can do it it can’t be that difficult.
Lily walking in: Oh! Blair, Dorota. What are you doing here?
Blair: Just bringing a little tradition. I’m spending the holidays with Daddy and Roman in Paris. I figured since we usually spend this day together that, you know, um… Is Serena here?
We thought she was with you.
Blair: No, I haven’t seen her since Chuck’s party. She never came home.
Eric: Okay, alright. Now I’m worried.
Lily: Charles?
Chuck: She’s not at The Empire.
Lily: Well then where the hell is she?
Blair: After everything that happened today, and the thought of losing Serena forever, maybe a part of me is questioning what I said to you last week.
Chuck: I showed up today for Serena. What you said was right. We need to be on our own, figure out where we go from there. Otherwise we’re just torturing ourselves.
Blair: This isn’t torturing me.
Chuck: I can’t be your friend right now. As much as I wish I could.
Blair: I’m sorry.
Chuck: I’m not. I got to spend a little more time with you.
Blair: Happy Thanksgiving, Chuck.
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The Townie
Lily: Oh my god, that was punishing.
Chuck: I think my face actually hurts from smiling so much. Drink?
Lily: Please. It’s barely after noon but we’ve earned it.
Chuck: Serena only came up once.
Lily: Yes, and I kept my promise to Eric to tell the truth. She is exhausted. I know I am.
Lily: No, I did this for you! For your future. Look, it’s not like Mr. Donovan was guilt-free. He shouldn’t have been having an affair with a student.
Serena: But he didn’t do anything. Nothing ever happened.
Lily: Serena, you don’t have to protect him.
Serena: I’m not protecting him. He never touched me, Mom. You sent an innocent man to prison.
Chuck: Look, everyone here has crossed a line to protect someone they care about. Sometimes there’s collateral damage.
Rufus: It’s not so easy when you’re the collateral damage. Maybe it’s time to put everything on the table. Lily, do you have something you need to tell Chuck?
Lily: Well if there was something I wanted to tell Charles I would have told him.
Rufus: Lily’s selling Bass Industries.
Lily: It’s all very complicated. I had to talk to the board first.
Chuck: I trusted you with my father’s company. I want it back. Immediately.
Lily: Do you really think the board would allow me to give the company to someone who just disappeared for three months? Your instability is the reason that I ended up in charge in the first place.
Chuck: I won’t let you do this, Lily.
one week later…
Dan: See I told you. Food is more delicious when you cook it yourself.
Nate: Yup.
That’s why we’re going to end this experiment in middle class living and then call the housekeeper to clean up.
Blair: No way! I stuck my hand up a turkey’s butt. You’re not getting out of your job.
Chuck: Well I’ve provided the location, so I did my part. Now I’m off to New Zealand to enjoy a taste of summer and girls who like sex games in the Rain Forest.
Dan: I’ll help clear. It’s only fitting seeing as I did the shopping, set the table and… oversaw the cooking.
Nate getting up to help: Alright.
Chuck: Goodbye, friends. Dan. I’ll see you in the New Year.
Nate: Wait. I’ll walk you out. Here. hands Dan the dishes.
Blair: New Zealand? That’s awfully close to Australia.
Chuck: You know me. I like the heat.
Blair: Well you’ll get plenty of it if you try to make a deal with the devil. Jack will never help you.
Chuck: Maybe. But a shared enemy makes for unlikely friends. to Nate: You ready? Happy Holidays, Blair.
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The Kids Are Not All Right
Nate: Hey man, how was New Zealand?
Chuck: I have to say, it was an extraordinary bust. Jack was out of the country.
Nate: Aw, I’m sorry, man. I knew you were counting on his help.
Chuck: As fate would have it, I might have found one last ally. My father’s old friend Russell Thorpe is in town from Chicago. He’s hosting a party at Apella this afternoon. I’m on my way to his field office to see if I can get a meeting. {hears background noise.} I hear you kept yourself entertained in my absence.
Nate: Nope, that’s not me.
Chuck: That’s right. Your father’s out on parole. How’s it been?
Nate: I know he’s earned the right to blow off a little steam, but it’s been nothing but spas and restaurants and night clubs. I mean shouldn’t he be concentrating on his future?
Chuck: Perhaps you should dock his allowance.
Chuck: If I could impose on you to pop back up to the office and tell Mr. Thorpe Chuck Bass is here to see him. I’ll take a coffee and today’s Pravda if it’ll be a few minutes.
Reina: I’m sorry. Who are you?
Chuck: Chuck Bass. I just flew in from New Zealand, got the invitation to Mr. Thorpe’s party. Thought I’d stop by early to discuss business.
Reina: Would you mind telling me what this is regarding?
Chuck: I don’t usually expose my private matters to an assistant.
Reina: Assistant. I prefer the term secretary, don’t you? Why not just call things as you see them.
Reina Thorpe: It appears you may be out of the loop. The potential sale of Bass Industries? Is very real. There’s a deal on the table and it’s fast-tracked to close in twenty-four hours. I’m guessing I’ll be seeing you at my boss’ party later?
Chuck: As I see it, we have two distinct goals. I want to block the sale of Bass Industries, you want to get ol’ Ben out of jail. A single strategy may satisfy us both.
Serena: Which is?
Chuck: Blackmail.
Serena: But I can’t pressure her unless I have hard evidence.
Chuck: Well, while you were brunching I took the liberty of checking the safe at the house. Did you know she has a safety deposit box at the Dorset Bank on Madison?
Serena: No.
Chuck: I know you spent your entire life not wanting to become your mother, but… desperate times.
Chuck: Relax. You’re a spitting image.
Serena: Remind me to kill you later for that.
Chuck: The teller we need to talk to is named Julie. She’s new, I remember her.
Serena: And who do we say you are, my son?
Chuck: Is it weird hearing you say that actually turns me on?
Serena: This better be worth the therapy.
Serena: All I have in my pile are divorce papers, jewelry and artful nudes of my mother in her groupie days.
Chuck: Swap piles?
Serena: We have her.
Chuck: You want to make the call or should I?
Serena: No. Later. In person.
Chuck: I like the way you think, mom.
Lily: Well I’m just curious, what were you hoping to find?
Chuck: A way to stop you from disposing of the last remaining bit of my father.
Lily: Is that what you think I’m doing?
Chuck: Why else would you be selling Bass Industries.
Lily: Because it’s in trouble, Charles.
Chuck: What are you talking about?
Lily: You read the paper. Real estate. Hotels. Even in Manhattan, no one’s impervious.
Chuck: Why wouldn’t you tell me?
Lily: Because I thought we could ride it out. Refinance or something. I was hoping we could turn it around and I wouldn’t have to tell you. But then you disappeared and by the time you got back, it was an inevitability.
Chuck: You expect me just to accept this? Go on with my day?
Lily: If I sell now I can control how we sell it and to whom. There’s a private buyer that’s made a very generous offer. The company will stay intact and so will your father’s name. And the money from the sale will give you a chance to build a future. And who knows, maybe even buy it back some day.
Chuck: Mr. Thorpe. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, sir.
Russell Thorpe: Call me Russell. I see you’ve met my daughter.
Chuck: Reina Thorpe.
Russell Thorpe: Wharton grad. Thorpe Enterprises’ Vice President and a most trusted advisor to her proud and aging papa.
Chuck: You said you were his assistant.
Russell Thorpe: You said that.
Russell Thorpe: Reina never lies. It’s her best quality.
Chuck: I highly doubt that.
Chuck: What are you doing here?
Reina: River Park’s one of the only bars I like in New York. And I came to offer you an apology. Today at the office, the identity game. I’m usually more straightforward than that. Which leads me to my next point.
Chuck: Edge of my seat.
Reina: My father reported your family’s fight to the buyer, during the party. Scared him off so he could go after it himself.
Chuck: While I’m impressed with your honesty, I can’t say I like the information. Or your relationship to it.
Reina: It’s just business.
Chuck: Right now I’m trying to focus on whatever pleasure I can.
Reina: If you can separate the two so can I. My car is just outside. I’ll wait five minutes before taking off. If I go home alone, I’ll never bring it up again.
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Damien Darko
Chuck: Do you know what a turn-on it would be to sleep with a woman trying to buy my company.
Reina Thorpe: As long as we play clean in business, I’m happy to keep it.
Chuck: Dirty between the sheets.
Chuck: I thought you said you were totally above board when it comes to business.
Reina: I did. And I am.
Chuck: So why did you hire my best friend’s father to work for your company?
Reina: The Captain? He and my father and old friends. My father believes in second chances and we need someone who knows the lay of the land.
Chuck: His son’s my roommate. It’s an obvious conflict.
Reina: Chuck, we just met I had no idea who you lived with. I know you’re sensitive to this. I assure you, Thorpe Enterprises has no interest in corporate espionage.
Chuck: Even so. I spoke to Nate. The Captain’s a loose cannon. I’d consider it a personal favor if you’d have him fired.
Chuck: Reina, you’re trying to take my company. How can I just trust you? You’d think less of me if I did.
Reina: I couldn’t think less of you than I do right now.
Chuck: Sorry.
I wouldn’t be like this if it wasn’t my father’s legacy. The stakes are too high to take a chance on trust.
Reina: I told you who I was when we met. I don’t play games. In business or in my personal life. My father is going to do everything humanly possible to acquire Bass Industries. It’s not a secret, it’s a fact.
Chuck: I know. I apologize for losing sight of that. Look, you’re a beautiful girl who says what’s on her mind and isn’t afraid of the consequences. I don’t want to stop seeing you. I can handle the complications if you can.
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Panic Roommate
Reina Thorpe: Sorry, I only have an hour before my next meeting.
Chuck: Hm. We’ve got no time to waste.
Chuck: Either switch that thing off or bring it to bed. Vibration is a terrible thing to waste.
Reina Thorpe: Don’t move.
Chuck: Don’t worry.
Nate: Did I hear Reina just leave? What is that, three days in a row now? Things are getting serious.
Chuck: Not fast enough. We’re stuck in this meaningless mind-blowing sex loop.
Nate: I’m sorry to hear that.
Chuck: Reina is the one person that can stop her father from swallowing up Bass Industries. I need her to fall for me so she’ll spare my company.
Nate: Yeah well, she doesn’t strike me as the “love-at-first-sight” type, so just give it some time.
Chuck: Time is the one thing I don’t have.
Blair: [M]y performance review is tomorrow and I need to to go well.
Chuck: Surely saving tonight will earn you the gold star you crave.
Chuck: I’ve spent the last few weeks trying every trick I know in the bedroom to get Reina to fall in love with me—business reasons of course. Nothing seems to be working.
Blair: That’s because that’s how you win a guy’s heart, not a girl’s. If you want Reina to fall for you, you have to stop pulling on her drawstrings and start pulling on her heartstrings.
Reina: Chuck, I know you’re trying to make me feel guilty about buying the Palace and firing all these nice people. But business is business. You know that. What’s with the show?
Chuck: It’s not a show. I actually grew up here. Other kids have neighbors and potlucks. I have concierges and room service. I know these people because they’re my extended family.
Blair: I know, he’s as smart as he is handsome, isn’t he?
Chuck: Don’t push it. Wrap it up.
Reina: I missed my meeting.
Chuck: Was I worth it?
Reina: I’ll let you know.
Chuck: I took the liberty of reserving my old suite. Perhaps after the show we could continue our tour upstairs.
Reina: Only on the condition that you show me something first. Your hiding place. From when you were a little boy.
Chuck: Did Nate tell you?
Reina: I grew up in a hotel too, remember?
Chuck: Reina, when we first met I was so desperate to save my father’s company I didn’t care what it took, who I had to betray. I thought if you fell for me you might find a way to spare it. But after spending today together, I realized how much I actually do care about you.
Reina: I’m so sorry, Chuck. There’s nothing you can ever say to make me trust you again.
Reina: A speechless Chuck Bass. Will wonders never cease?
Chuck: Honestly, I never thought you’d talk to me again.
Reina: Neither did I. Then I got a phone call from your friend Blair. Not a staged call. A real one. She told me you may have said all those things on the phone with her for the wrong reasons, but that you also meant them.
Chuck: When it comes to me, Blair has the nasty habit of never being wrong.
Reina: She said the same thing.
Chuck: I’ll find another way to save my family legacy. One that doesn’t involve you.
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It-Girl Happened One Night
Chuck: The Bass name has equity. I’d like the chance to prove that. All in one night. Tomorrow, to be exact. I’ve leased a landmark mansion outside the city. It’s a destination. You travel to get there and the reservations are made before.
Russell: And what do people get when they arrive?
Chuck: Imagine you’re at a club. Forget the year, the continent. You don’t want the night to end. In this case it doesn’t have to. When the time is right you drift upstairs to a private room. You spend the night or just a few hours—it’s up to you.
Russell: But, ah, what makes you think people will show up? It sounds like you need a big marketing push just to get the word out.
Chuck: No marketing. I say where and when, people show up. If I can prove to you the Bass brand has a quantifiable worth, will you look at my business plan? It shows how you can keep the company together under the Bass name, with my involvement.
Russell: I’ll put a pin in my current plans for thirty-six hours. If this thing you’ve planned succeeds, we’ll talk.
Serena: Blair has to follow a socialite around on Valentine’s Day. It’s for work. She figured you wouldn’t mind since everything with Reina is… you know.
Chuck: “I know,” what?
Serena: Oh. Blair was wrong. You do have feelings for Reina.
Chuck: I do. I have something spectacular planned for tomorrow night.
Chuck: Do you actually know why your father hates mine? I always assumed it was a business deal gone bad, but maybe there’s more to it.
Reina: I don’t think so. My dad’s too much of a gentleman to hold a grudge. And honestly, I don’t even know how seriously they were. Either of them. I was at Penn at the time. Why? What did Lily say?
Chuck: Lily? Say about what?
Reina: You didn’t know? She and my dad used to date. She left him for your father.
Chuck: I believe there’s something standing in the way of Bass Industries’ survival. Something of a personal matter.
Russell: To what exactly are you referring?
Chuck: I know Lily broke your heart. She broke my father’s heart too. I want to be clear. My loyalty is with the Bass name only.
Russell: It’s a lovely sentiment. But what does it mean?
Chuck: I’ll do whatever it takes to remain with the company. If Lily’s an obstacle, I’ll handle it.
Chuck: Since I kept you from your trip to Venice, I thought I’d bring Venice to you.
Reina: How did you know?
Chuck: I saw your calendar.
Lily: Why did you have me fired?
Chuck: You should have told me about your relationship with Russell.
Lily: If you were so concerned why didn’t you ask me about it? It has no bearing on my performance at Bass Industries.
Chuck: How can you be sure? Maybe your emotions clouded your judgment. It wouldn’t be the first time. What? We both know you’re a socialite, not a business woman. You traded musicians for titans of industry. Upgraded from a tour bus to a corporate jet. I’m sorry, but I had to.
Lily: I’ve done nothing but tried to salvage that company for you. I stepped in so Jack wouldn’t take it away. And every day since I have fought for your future. If we had stuck together on this, we would have won.
Chuck: It looks like I did anyway.
Lily: No you haven’t, Charles, you’ve lost. And I’m not talking about your battle with Thorpe.
Chuck: You almost cost me my company. You better not have cost me Reina.
Lily: Whatever price you pay for what you have done, that’s on you.
Russell: I see you’re a man of your word.
Chuck: I said I’d get rid of Lily, I did.
Russell: Too bad words are overrated.
Chuck: What?
Russell: Now that Lily’s been ousted from the board it’s just you and me. And as much as I like you, I think I’ll like dismantling Bass Industries even more.
Reina: Is this what you do? Wonderful things for people you care about before you turn on them?
Chuck: Look, you put family before all else. I can’t do that. My father was never there for me. My mother abandoned and then betrayed me. My uncle is my worst enemy. But maybe your father isn’t as perfect as you think.
Reina: What are you saying?
Chuck: He’s the reason I went after Lily. He pitted me against her.
Reina: So you’re trying to turn me against him?
Chuck: No—
Reina: Destroy my relationship? Nothing is sacred to you!
Chuck: That’s not true. You are sacred to me.
Reina: Until I do something you don’t like. And you turn on me too.
Howard: Lesson learned. Wall Street didn’t need a sequel. In the theaters or in my life.
Nate: Wish I’d been wrong about Thorpe.
Chuck: Wish I had a company I could put you in.
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While You Weren’t Sleeping
Chuck: Russell manipulated me to make me look like a monster with Lily so Reina would break up with me and I’d lose my one advocate within his company.
Nate: So you’ve said. More than a couple of times.
Chuck: Your Archibald charm can get me the opening I need. Just change the sweater.
Nate: What’s wrong with my sweater? {he sniffs the collar.}
Chuck: Thanks for coming. I’ve requested a quiet table—
Lily: Oh, I’m not staying. I only came to tell you to stop calling me.
Chuck: Lily, I know I said some terrible things, but let me explain.
Lily: I’ve tolerated a lot from you over the years. But nothing could justify the humiliation that you put me through on Valentine’s Day.
Chuck: Russell Thorpe is setting me up.
Lily: I don’t care what Russell was doing behind the scenes. That’s no excuse for the things you said to me.
Chuck: I can’t believe you’re on his side. This guy’s trying to destroy our company.
Lily: Your company. You had me fired. I’m done trying to protect the Bass legacy. Russell will make a marvelous owner.
Chuck: What is it with this guy? Do you still have feelings for him?
Lily: Please, I’m a married woman.
Chuck: Didn’t stop you from cheating on my father. I’m sure you’d do the same to Rufus. {she slaps him.}
Lily: Goodbye Charles.
Chuck: The slap was a nice touch. Oscar-worthy.
Lily: Yes, well it was surprisingly satisfying.
Chuck: Lily, once again, I’m sorry. I feel like a fool for ever believing Russell over you.
Lily: Well let’s just hope it’s not long before he’s the one feeling foolish.
Chuck: The way he’s playing this, behind all the false claims there’s an agenda. And it’s personal. I have to think it’s his feelings for you.
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Empire of the Son
Chuck: I came to see Reina. I guess she’s not in yet. I wanted to invite her to a party I’m having at the Empire tonight. My deal with Kidd closes tomorrow. You’re welcome to come as well. Sorry, I didn’t come to gloat. I’ve just always been a multi-tasker.
Russell: Don’t you worry your victory lap might be premature?
Chuck: Why would I?
Russell: Thanks for my invitation, Chuck. And as for my daughter’s schedule, you might want to check with your buddy Nate Archibald. They’ve been spending a lot of time together these last few days. I see that’s something else you aren’t aware of.
Chuck: Meaning?
Russell: Your deal closes tomorrow. But you tell Lily I’ll see you both tonight.
Lily: Someone who knows about Ben is trying to send a message.
Chuck: Subtle. It’s Russell, I’m assuming. We spoke this morning. He told me our victory party was premature.
Chuck: I’m looking for Reina. I thought you might know her schedule. Or are you going to stand there and lie to my face?
Nate: Look, we’re just hanging out. Okay? That’s it.
Chuck: I guess the old Archibald charm wasn’t as rusty as you thought. Unlike the knife in my back.
Nate: I talked you up to her like you asked me to. She wanted nothing to do with you.
Chuck: Don’t sugar coat it.
Nate: I like Reina. All right? And she likes me. I didn’t mean for it to happen this way but it did. I’m sorry. What else can I do?
Chuck: There is one thing.
Reina: How many times do I have to tell you, he isn’t like you.
Chuck: Maybe not yet. But if I’m right, he’s about to cross the line. You can stop him, Reina. you can stop him, Reina. If you care about him, you’ll do this.
Reina: I would never confront him based on your word alone.
Chuck: I’m not asking you to.
Chuck: I have guests downstairs.
Russell: And I have the final nail for your coffin. It’s just a copy of course. Perjury, obstruction of justice. Bribery of public officials.
Chuck: Why don’t we cut right to it.
Russell: That I can do. You sign over Bass Industries once and for all or I’ll destroy you and your entire family. {Chuck pauses.} I’m surprised you even have to think it over.
Chuck: I wasn’t thinking, I was waiting.
Russell: For what?
Reina: For me.
Lily: Just promise me one thing. Before Thorpe leaves here tonight, tell that son-of-a-bitch where he can stick it.
Chuck: Thank you. For saving his legacy.
Lily: Bass Industries isn’t his legacy, Charles. You are.
Chuck: You’re lying.
Russell: Oh believe me, I wish I were. Because of your father my wife is dead.
Chuck: Shut it down?
Serena: What?
Chuck: This. All of this. Shut it down.
Serena: Chuck, talk to me. My mom just turned herself in to protect you. Why’d you shut down the party?
Chuck: There’s nothing to celebrate.
Serena: What are you talking about? The company is safe, you’re about to be head of your father’s empire. It’s what you’ve always wanted.
Chuck: What I wanted. All I ever wanted was to know him, for him to let me in. He lied to me until the day he died.
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The Kids Stay in the Picture
Serena: Aren’t you coming over for brunch?
Chuck: Lily thought it would be complicated enough without me.
Serena: What, my grandmother, my step-father, my father—who was last seen fleeing from the police. Complicated is an understatement.
Chuck: How are things with William?
Serena: Well if I cut everyone out of my life who made a mistake I wouldn’t have anyone left.
Chuck: On the topic of mistakes, do you know what one I might have made to cause Blair to cut me off?
Serena: You didn’t talk to her after your party?
Chuck: She wouldn’t let me in her room. When she said she didn’t want to talk to me, I didn’t think she meant “ever again.” She’s not seeing someone, is she?
Serena: No, not unless you count Dorota. She hasn’t left her bed in a week.
Chuck: She’s [pulling a Camille]. But why?
Serena: I think her “powerful woman” path hit a roadblock, and you know how important that is to her.
Dan: Hey Chuck. Uh, what are you doing here?
Chuck: May I come in?
Dan: Yeah.
Chuck: I’ve learned some information about my past that’s making me reconsider my future. My future with Blair. However my intel indicates that she’s seeing someone else.
Dan: What’s that got to do with me?
Chuck: I think it could be someone at W. Didn’t you work there.
Dan: Uh… yeah. For one day.
Chuck: Did you notice her talking to anyone? Whoever she kissed seems to have had an effect. “Life-changing” were the words she used.
Dan: Well a life-changing kiss might not be something you want to mess with.
Chuck: What are you trying to say, Humphrey?
Dan: With you, she was always caught up in schemes and takedowns. But that’s not really her. She’s intelligent, she’s intuitive. You know? She weeps when she watches Nights of Cabiria.
Chuck: How do you know that?
Dan: Uh… Serena told me. But listen, if Blair’s happy, I mean maybe you should let her be.
Chuck: You care more about Blair’s happiness than I knew.
Dan: Eh.
Chuck: Thank you for your time.
Blair: Are you trying to humiliate him? Is that it?
Chuck: I don’t care about him one way or the other. I just wanted you to see he’s not a part of this world. I know you kissed him.
Blair: So? You and I are not dating. And you kiss a lot of people.
Chuck: You’re not supposed to kiss him. He’s hum-drum Humphrey. Epperley told me it was life-changing.
Blair: Because it made me realize I wanted to be with you. Dan and I both know it meant nothing—less than nothing. Right?
Dan: Yeah, that’s right.
Blair: I was going to tell you all about it tonight. But that would have been a huge mistake. Dan Humphrey may not be royalty but at least he’s not a child.
Chuck: You don’t have to be powerful on your own first. We can build our futures together.
Blair: The saddest part is that I’d come to the same conclusion. But now that I know I’m ready I realize you’re not. I mean, after everything you went through—Prague, Eva, Russell—that maybe you’d changed. Who was kidding.
Chuck: Don’t say that.
Blair: You have years before you’re capable of a real relationship. If you ever will be. I’m sorry Chuck.
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Petty in Pink
Nate: Single malt for breakfast?
Chuck: Takes the edge off the coke.
Chuck: Is there a problem?
Nate: With Reina, no. But when you’re ready to talk about whatever’s up with you let me know.
Chuck: Where’s Reina?
Nate: She went back to her hotel. I think your whole Howard Hughes routine is starting to freak her out a bit. It’s actually starting to freak me out too, man. Talk to me.
Chuck: I saw what you two were looking at this morning. The tattered box, old photographs. Is Reina looking for her mother? {silence} It’s a mistake. You have to stop her.
Nate: Look man, I know what happened with your mom was painful, but at least you got some answers. Reina deserves the same and she can handle it.
Chuck: Reina just lost her father. Do you really think she’s ready to be rejected by her mother all over again?
Nate: I’ll talk to her.
Chuck: Have you figured out what you’re going to say to this woman? Do you want me to come along? I know we’ve been on opposing teams for awhile, but… I’ve been through this. Maybe I could be helpful.
Reina: Actually, yeah. I’d appreciate that. I really hope it’s my mom, Chuck.
Chuck: Me too.
Nate: I know you disagree, but I think she should keep looking for her mom.
Chuck: She looked. It wasn’t her. Give it up already.
Nate: So the first lead didn’t pan out.
Chuck: She has to stop! Russell’s parting gift to me was a story about my father. You remember how I told you my dad was responsible for that fire in his old building?
Nate: Uh huh.
Chuck: Russell owned it too. They were partners. He says his wife was there that night. And she died in the fire.
Nate: How do you know he’s even telling the truth?
Chuck: I don’t. But today when that woman wasn’t Reina’s mother I realized how desperately I wanted her to be. So maybe I do believe it.
Nate: What are you going to do?
Chuck: Try to find out the truth.
PI: Your dad gave me these security tapes after the [Kenborough] Building burned down and asked me to lock them away. This one is from eight pm the night of the fire.
Chuck: What’s on it?
PI: Bart. having an argument with a woman—Avery Thorpe. Then Avery goes into the building and Bart hurries away.
Chuck: Okay. So?
PI: Moments later the building goes up in flames. And Avery Thorpe is never heard from again.
View all quotes from this episode
The Princesses and the Frog
Chuck: That video was circumstantial at best. My father may have been a cold-hearted businessman but he wasn’t a cold-blooded murderer. There’s no proof that fire was intentional. Let’s just drop it. I’m sorry I ever asked.
Nate: It’s four o’clock. It’s smoking jacket hour, man. Why are you still in your robe? Is everything okay?
Chuck: Peachy.
Nate: Oh come on, Chuck. I know you’ve seen the papers. Blair’s dating that prince guy. Can’t be easy.
Chuck: Nathaniel. I wish my problems were as simple as Blair’s royal fling.
Nate: Have you heard from Andrew? Is there proof that what Russell said about your dad is true?
Chuck: Nothing concrete.
Nate: Well that’s better than the opposite, right? ‘Cause Reina’s decided she wants to keep looking for her mother.
Chuck: Oh really? I’d rather she didn’t.
Nate: Come on, Chuck. It’s important to her and me avoiding the subject is starting to come between us.
Chuck: Nate. Reina can’t go digging into the past. As my friend I need you to help me get this done.
Nate: I’ll do my best. Hey. Don’t worry. Blair’s not gonna end up with this guy. We all know it.
Chuck: My father and Avery Thorpe were having an affair.
Andrew: And she was going to leave him. Go back to Russell. That’s your motive. The tapes show opportunity and we already know that Bart admitted he was responsible for the fire , so—
Chuck: Well at least you can’t hang a dead man.
Andrew: I’m sorry Chuck. I know you didn’t want your father to be guilty. But maybe now you can move on.
Nate: Good to see you survived the night. Maybe now you can actually talk what we’re going to do here.
Chuck: Do? About what?
Nate: Reina. She needs to know about her mother.
Chuck: Nathaniel—
Nate: I was thinking maybe we could tell her together and then show her the letter.
Chuck: Are you out of your mind?
Nate: Between the video tape you told me about and the letter from her mom. Chuck, I can’t let her get her hopes up. She’ll spend her whole life searching for someone she’ll never find.
Chuck: Don’t say anything.
Nate: What am I supposed to do every time she brings up her mother?
Chuck: Lie, I don’t know. You’ll figure it out. Or just stop seeing her.
Nate: Chuck, I actually like this girl, man. what’s wrong with you, huh? You don’t even know how to be in a relationship. Blair’s lucky she escaped you.
Chuck: Hey! Leave Blair out of this. No one understands what we have.
Nate: Yeah, no one understands because it’s not normal. She’s better off with the French guy.
Chuck: You don’t seriously mean that.
Nate: I saw on Gossip Girl that she’s going to some party tonight at the Consulate.
Chuck: Who cares? She always goes to parties.
Nate: This one’s hosted by his family. Apparently he needs to get engaged.
Serena: Chuck, what are you doing here?
Chuck: I need to see Blair.
Serena: You’re drunk. Just go home, please. I beg of you, don’t ruin this for her.
Chuck: There’s something she needs to hear. It’s important.
Chuck: You look familiar. Didn’t you, me and a stewardess get to know each other intimately over Lithuania?
Princess Sophia: Excuse me? I am Princess Sophia Grimaldi of Monaco.
Chuck: Ah yes. Blair’s future mother-in-law. It’s no surprise she went for a prince. Marie Antoinette was one of her favorite roles to play. Of course I was always eating her cake.
Princess Sophia: How dare you! And you are?
Chuck: I’m Chuck Bass. The love of her life. Anyone else is just a waste of time.
Blair: Chuck, go home!
Chuck: Match, Blair. You proved that you can score a prince. Okay, I admit you made me jealous. Now let’s go back to my place so you can collect your prize.
Blair: Stop this. You’re embarrassing me.
Chuck: What? It’s not me who’s disrespecting these fine people, it’s you! Pretending you’re going to marry this French phony. It’s a joke.
Serena: Chuck, no one’s laughing. Don’t do this.
Blair: Chuck, go home. This is enough.
Chuck: I’m not going anywhere without you. Tell your prince where your heart truly lies. Tell him. Tell me.
Blair: How could you do that to me, Chuck?
Chuck: I’m sorry I ruined your shot at being a princess. Let’s face it. You were never going to go through with it.
Blair: Chuck.
Chuck: I need you Blair. Like I never have before. Everything I believed about my father, everything I thought I wanted to be, what I needed to be for him, it was all based on lies. The only thing that’s ever been real is me and you. And you know that. That’s why you came back to me.
Blair: Louis asked me to marry him.
Chuck: You’ll never marry anyone else, you’re mine.
Blair: I wanted to be. I wanted it so badly but… not anymore.
Chuck: You’re mine, Blair.
Blair: Stop it, Chuck! I said it’s over.
View all quotes from this episode
Shattered Bass
Chuck: So I thought I’d bring some luxury across the river. Brooklyn needs it. It’s all bars, bakeries and babies. No hotel in sight. Charles Place. You up to attend the ribbon cutting?
Nate: No thanks.
Chuck: Still pissed I lied to Reina about my father?
Nate: It was a big lie. Even for you.
Chuck: That’s why I’m stepping out from under his dark shadow and away from the Bass name.
Nate: Whatever you want to call yourself or your hotel, you’re still the same person.
Chuck: And with everything going on I still need my best friend by my side.
Nate: I saw what you did to Blair. I’m gonna stay with Reina for awhile.
Chuck: If you walk out don’t be here when I get back.
Nate: Don’t worry. I’m already gone.
Blair: I’m risking my well-being to tell you your uncle Jack is in town. I saw him myself this afternoon.
Chuck: Makes sense. New building, new way to hurt me.
Chuck: You have no idea what I’ve been going through since that night—
Blair: Chuck. Just be careful.
Chuck: Your highness. You’ll forgive me if I’m too busy to bow.
Louis: I don’t appreciate the sarcasm. Or for that matter, anything else about you.
Chuck: Then we’re equal.
Louis: I want the truth.
Chuck: If you can’t trust Blair to tell you the truth you’ve got bigger problems than me. All I’ll say is, get used to it. Blair is nothing without her secrets.
Russell: What the hell is going on?
Chuck: Divine intervention. If you consider Satan divine.
Jack: You did get in one good punch.
Chuck: It was a long time coming.
Chuck: All that was in that box was evidence against my father. Even if you went to the authorities, the implications are limited on a dead man.
Jack: So we played follow the leader. Unless you’re in to arson porn, there’s obviously something else of interest on that tape.
Russell: Bart murdered my wife. I can take my story to the press.
Chuck: First you’ll stay for the viewing.
Chuck: The time code is after my father left the building. You’re the one that locked the doors. My father didn’t set the fire that killed your wife. You did.
Russell: I swear to you, I thought it was Bart in that building. I knew no matter what I said, he would never let Avery go. It sounds crazy but I still loved her.
Chuck: And she loved you. I read the letter she wrote to my father ending things.
Russell: That letter was for me. Bart called and said we needed to talk. That I should meet him at the building. That was when I decided that he wouldn’t be leaving.
Russell: Please! I’ll pay. I’ll give you Thorpe Enterprises, anything you want. But I can’t let Reina find out what I did.
Chuck: I’ll give you the same deal he did.
Jack: Oh, girls. Look. Can I at least get my plane fare out of this?
Chuck: Get out of New York and never come back.
Russell: Thank you. If Reina ever found out I don’t know what I’d do.
Jack: Your dad was a nasty son-of-a-bitch, but I never thought for a second he’d actually gone O.J.
Chuck: Thank you for using your evil powers for good this time.
Jack: Ah, it was selfish really. I didn’t want anyone else playing with my punching bag.
Chuck: Dysfunction is kept in the family. It’s true.
Jack: Besides, what would I want with a company someone else owns half of. Or building in Brooklyn. Now, if you still had Blair things might be different.
Chuck: On that note, I’m going to cut this reunion short and try to find her before the nice guy actually wins.
Jack: I’m counting on you not to defile the Bass name and lose her to a family of titled circus performers.
miniBlair: Chuck Bass. What a disappointment. I was rooting for you.
Chuck: Have you seen the real Blair?
miniSerena: Don’t you read Gossip Girl? You lost her to the Prince.
Chuck: Not yet I haven’t.
miniBlair: I told you he wouldn’t let her get away.
View all quotes from this episode
The Wrong Goodbye
Chuck: Do you think she’d miss the opportunity to enter her old stomping ground on the arm of a prince?
Eleanor: She is finally getting her fairytale. She doesn’t need the Big Bad Wolf to ruin it. Why don’t you say goodbye once and for all. And let her go.
Serena: Hey. We need to talk.
Vanessa: We need to talk to you.
Chuck: I need to talk to you.
Nate: Hey, I need to talk to you.
Eric: Okay, woah. Just tell me that no one’s trying to stop a wedding, run a Ponzi scheme, give anybody fake cancer or turn into a justifiably vengeful townie.
Chuck: Until I find Blair I can’t even think about Russell Thorpe.
Reina walking in: You might have to. I’m sorry for just showing up like this. I didn’t know where to go. My father was so angry, blaming you for all that’s happened. And after everything I put you through I just wanted to apologize.
Chuck: You don’t need to apologize to me. We both did things we didn’t think were wrong in the moment.
Reina: Still.
Chuck: Thanks.
Blair: I don’t understand why you’re doing this. You tricked me into coming to Chuck’s new hotel by saying that he was in jeopardy and now you won’t let me leave. What am I supposed to do, jump from a third story window?
Chuck: Come on. I know where Blair is. Smart girl.
Chuck: You sure you don’t want to go to the hospital, get checked out?
Blair: I’m fine. Or I will be. I just want to get out of here. Louis waiting for me.
Chuck: I’ll drive you.
Blair: Thank you. Not only for the ride but for, you know, saving me.
Chuck: What was I supposed to do? You called.
Blair: Only because I couldn’t see my phone to dial 911. I still have you on speed dial. I just had to push down the one.
Chuck: The one, huh?
Chuck: I’m so sorry.
Blair: I know.
Chuck: How about a drink to calm your nerves? Then we can return you to your prince, as steady as ever.
Blair: Okay. One drink. That’s all.
Blair: Maybe we should just go back to the party.
Chuck: Why? Pretty much everyone we or Gossip Girl knows is there. Which means it’s almost like we’ve been given the rest of the night off to do what we want.
Blair: Like that movie Death Takes a Holiday? Not the Brad Pitt remake. That was horrible. {Chuck makes a face} What? It was.
Chuck: So?
Blair: I should find Louis and tell him it’s over.
Chuck: If that’s what you want.
Blair: It’s the right thing to do.
Chuck: You really love him, don’t you?
Blair: Yes. But not like I love you. Louis and I, it’s different. It’s lighter, more simple. He makes me happy.
Chuck: And I don’t?
Blair: What we have is a great love. It’s complicated. Intense. All-consuming. No matter what we do and how much we fight, it’ll always pull us in. What’s mere happiness in the face of all that, right?
Blair: We need to talk.
Louis: I see.
Blair: Louis—
Chuck: Blair.
Blair: No, I need to do this myself. What I need to tell you is—
Chuck: What she’s trying to say is you have my blessing. I couldn’t be more happy the two of you are getting married.
Blair: Why did you just do that?
Chuck: Because of what you said earlier.
Blair: About being happy? Chuck, that’s not the most important thing. People don’t write sonnets about being compatible. Or novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversation. The great loves are the crazy ones. L’amour fou.
Chuck: Blair we’re not living in Paris in the 20s.
Blair: Well we both wish we were.
Chuck: There’s a difference between a great love and the right love. I left the Empire State Building last year after two minutes when you didn’t show. Louis waited all night. This is your chance at happiness. You think you shouldn’t want it ’cause you’ve never had it and it scares you. But you deserve your fairytale.
Blair: We make our own fairytales.
Chuck: Only when we have to. You don’t. How do you feel about tonight?
Blair: Awful. I just… terrible. In fact I’ve never felt like this before.
Chuck: Guilt. I feel it too. Maybe I’m actually growing up after all.
Blair: I didn’t want to let you go just yet.
Chuck: Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not powerful. You’re the most powerful woman I know.
Blair: It’s taking all the power I have to walk away from you.
Chuck: I know. But I need to let you go. You need to let go.
Blair: I’ll always love you.
Chuck: I will always love you.
Three weeks later…
Rufus: He’s getting twenty years.
Chuck: Sounds fair. That’s how long he kept the secret.
Lily: Well I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes, I’ll tell you that.
Chuck: What about your shoes? When’s that happening?
Nate: Yeah. What are your plans for the summer, Mrs. Humphrey?
Lily: Well I’m going to be getting very pale. This thing doesn’t come off until the fall. Just in time to send my baby off to college.
Eric: Sarah Lawrence is like fifteen minutes. I don’t really think I need to be sent off. A light breeze could take me there.
Nate: You must really be hurting.
Chuck: How can you tell?
Nate: You’re not drinking. I always know it’s serious when even you know you can’t dull the pain.
Chuck: I’m not right for her. We bring out the dark side in each other. When she’s with Louis she shines. That’s the Blair I love. If she needs to be with him to be like that, then that’s the way it should be.
Nate: Well look at that. Chuck Bass maturing.
Chuck: Sad but true, I’m afraid.
Nate: Just spin the globe and pick a point. We can start there and make our way back here. Like old times. Bachelors who don’t have to answer to anybody.
Chuck: You’re a good friend.
Nate: One of us has to be.
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