Gossip Girl: February is the shortest month, but the bitter chill makes it feel the longest. The smart ones, like me, escape to more tropical climates. While some of my Upper East Side friends use the time to hunker down and finish their work. Others snuggle up in bed with their agendas to keep them warm. And then there are the homes that feel even colder inside than it is out.
Dan: Dad, what are you doing here?
Rufus: It’s so cold I came to get my green puffy down jacket.
Dan: Which is here because?
Rufus: Lily hates it. And she’d throw it out if she got her hands on it.
Dan: Well you might want to listen to a woman with taste.
Rufus: That reminds me, how’s everything going with Blair?
Dan: That’s a nice transition but we haven’t really spoken. I’ve been busy with my book proposal and she’s been busy… with, ah, her princess stuff. So you know.
Rufus: No, I don’t. You guys kissed.
Dan: Which is why it’s better to stay clear of her. Nothing good can come of us hanging out right now. So if we’re not going to be more than friends, it’s too hard to be just friends.
Blair: I told you that I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I’m not even sure it was me. Because why would I ever kiss Humphrey?
Serena: Oh, so that’s your excuse? Multiple personality disorder. Or did an alien take over your body.
Blair: I would never do anything to hurt you.
Serena: Too late.
Blair: Look, it was a mistake. What do you want me to do? Self-flagellate? Wear a hair shirt?
Serena: If you’re referring to the hideous fur vest you wore yesterday, I’m the only one that suffered because I had to look at it.
Nate: That’s my friend Dan’s book. Are you reading it?
Lola (Ella Rae Peck): Actually I’m performing it at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade.
Chuck: Good to see you, Humphrey.
Dan: Is it?
Chuck: Of course. Losing Blair was tough on us both. It’s not your fault.
Dan: So you’re not mad about what happened?
Chuck: Because she used you as her getaway driver? Humphrey, you too can play Driving Miss Waldorf as much as you want. As for me I’m not interested in mooning over the woman that broke my heart. I’m a sadist. Not a masochist.
Blair: This is ridiculous. I’m married! And I haven’t seen Dan since Valentine’s Day.
Serena: Which just proves my point. When you have feelings for someone that you can’t deal with you avoid them.
Ivy (Kaylee DeFer): Hey Nate. Everything okay?
Lola: Not really. Don’t hang up.
Ivy: Lola?
Lola: Look, I know you’re using my name I just don’t know why. Are you in trouble?
Ivy: It’s complicated. But I swear I am not doing anything to hurt you.
Cece Rhodes (Caroline Lagerfelt): You haven’t called the family, have you? I’m feeling so much better. I don’t want to worry them.
Ivy: No, it was the pharmacy. They forgot to deliver one of your medications. Now let’s get you back to bed.
Gossip Girl: Careful, Lonely Boy. Looks like someone is finding cold comfort in some red hot revenge.
Ivy: Is everything okay?
Nurse: I’m worried. Miss Cece’s having trouble breathing. I think we need to get her to the hospital.
Ivy: Okay. Then we need to go against her wishes and tell the rest of the family. I know she’ll be mad but it’s the right thing to do.
Lola: There was a fight over who got to play Clair. I won. {she pulls out a headband} Knew which prop to bring.
Connor (Nate Dern): Dan, hey. So glad that you could make it to rehearsal.
Dan: Is there anything I can do?
Connor: Just be a good sport and get ready to be mocked.
Dan: Well that’s my entire life so I think I can manage that.
Lola: Who’s Gossip Girl?
Blair: I thought this theatre company was professional. Have you never heard of research? Log on and learn everything you need to know about me stat. But you can skip my entire freshman year of college. Secondly, Clair would never kiss Dylan passionately ever. If she had to kiss him at all it would be perfunctory. Like shaking someone’s hand or patting a dog.
Lola: I don’t understand.
Dan: That’s because you’re listening to the ramblings of a deranged person. Blair. Go home.
Blair: Are you intentionally being obtuse? I mean a Clair-Dylan kiss would mean nothing. Do you mind if I show her?
Dan: Actually I do.
Blair: Serena, wait. Look it wasn’t what it looked like.
Serena: Please, just stop. Even if it hurts me be real with me for a second and tell me the truth. That you like Dan.
Blair: I— I don’t. I’m, I’m married and… I promised Chuck I’d wait for him. And then there’s the clause in the prenup.
Serena: Oh come on. We both know if you have feelings for someone nothing else matters.
Gossip Girl: Looks like S & B can’t find any refuge from the nasty cold.
Blair: I really need a friend right now.
Dan: I don’t want to be your friend, Blair. I want more. I want you. And if you don’t feel the same way about me then I don’t think we should be seeing each other anymore.
Nate: So are you looking up Blair for your character or Charlie for your secret agenda?
Gossip Girl: Spotted: Charlie Rhodes entering the hospital. Here’s hoping it’s for a check-up and she’s not being checked in.
Carol (Sheila Kelley): What do you think you’re doing?
Ivy: Look, I thought they were taking her to a hospital in the Hamptons.
Gossip Girl: Looks like the heat just got turned up on our Upper East Side’s favorite imposter.
Dan: I swear to you, I do not know what’s going on. Maybe the messenger screwed up. Maybe someone’s screwing with me.
Alessandra: Who would go to such lengths to do this to you?
Dan: That’s a nice scarf.
Gossip Girl: Uh oh, Ivy. Do you feel the chill permeating the air? That’s the Upper East Side turning their backs on you and tossing you out into the cold.
Carol (Marina Squerciati): You don’t know these people, what they’re capable of. I spent my entire life running from them for you.
Lily: Yes, running from people who would take in your fake daughter as our own. We must be monsters.
Dan: Why would you do this to me?
Chuck: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Dan: You switched the proposal. When I saw the shahtoosh scarf on Alessandra I knew.
Chuck: I thought that was a nice touch. I’m impressed you know the value of quality.
Chuck: You can’t win against me, Humphrey. You can’t even compete.
Dan: So this is about Blair. Well then I guess I’m not competing, I must be winning. You wouldn’t be trying this hard if I didn’t have a real shot with her. And up until this moment I wasn’t sure if I did. So thank you.
Gossip Girl: The most painful rejection always comes from those you love the most.
Lola: Bye, Mother.
Gossip Girl: And that one has to hurt.
Blair: I came to see you today to prove I’m not in denial. One of my specialties: warped logic.
Dan: It is a unique skill you have.
Blair: It’s awful.
Dan: No, it’s not awful. It’s you. It couldn’t be awful.
Blair: Humphrey. How can this happen? The prenup and Chuck, Serena. Well whatever this is it’ll have to wait.
Dan: What if I don’t want to?
Blair: So it seems you were right. I do have feelings for Dan. I’m sorry.
Serena: You don’t have to be.
Blair: But I won’t see him. Not because I’m in denial, but because I care too much about your friendship. You come first. You’re my family.
Serena: Look, this isn’t going to be easy for me, but at least you’re being honest. And if our friendship is real—which I know it is—then we can get through this. You two are going to face a lot of obstacles but I don’t want to be one of them. I don’t want to get in the way of you and Dan.
Blair: Chuck. Stop trying to hurt Dan. If you want to be mad at anybody, be mad at me.
Chuck: I could never be mad at you.
Blair: That’s nice to hear you say that, really, but being a good person doesn’t just mean being nice to me. Dan has done nothing to you but be a friend.
Chuck: You made it seem like you wanted me to wait for you. Was that a lie?
Blair: No.
Chuck: Did your feelings change?
Blair: No. I don’t know. But whatever happens, don’t punish Dan for my confusion.
Gossip Girl: As we wait for spring to come, we desperately look for the signs that the harsh winter is coming to an end. And the signs are clear. A ray of sunlight that cuts through the darkness.
Nate: Did you find Charlie?
Lola: Yeah.
Nate: Are you okay?
Lola: I don’t know.
Gossip Girl: The bud of a new relationship popping through the frosty ground.
Dan: I’m gonna head home.
Blair: I’m gonna stay. Serena needs me.
Gossip Girl: A sudden spike in temperatures. But don’t you forget, Upper East Siders. February isn’t the end of winter in this town. There’s still a long way to go. Turns out tropical islands are boring and the lack of scandal is getting to me. So I’ve decided to turn up the heat from afar. I have a certain email from Lonely Boy that will make Bass’ blood boil. But if you think winter’s over, think again. There’s sure to be another cold snap. And sadly, some won’t survive the winter.
Doctor: I don’t have good news. Cece had a stroke as we were prepping her for surgery. There’s nothing we can do. You need to go in and say your goodbyes.
Gossip Girl: So come out of the cold, my Upper East Siders, and into the cozy warmth of my home. My doors are always open. XOXO —Gossip Girl