The Eleventh Hour
Amelia Pond: Dear Santa, Thank you for the dolls and pencils and fish. It’s Easter now, so I hope I didn’t wake you. But honest, it is an emergency. There’s a crack in my wall. Aunt Sharon says it’s just an ordinary crack but I know it’s not. Because at night there’s voices. So please, please could you send someone to fix it. Or a policeman… or… {hears the TARDIS crashing in the backyard} Back in a moment. {Looks out the window} Thank you Santa.
The Doctor: Can I have an apple? All I can think about. Apples. I love apples. Maybe I’m having a craving. That’s new. I’ve never had cravings before. Look at that.
Amelia Pond: Are you okay?
The Doctor: Just had a fall. All of the way down there into the library. Hell of a climb back up.
Amelia Pond: You’re soaking wet.
The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool.
Amelia Pond: You said you were in the library.
The Doctor: So’s the swimming pool.
Amelia Pond: Are you a policeman?
The Doctor: Why? Did you call a policeman?
Amelia Pond: Did you come about the crack in my wall?
The Doctor: What cra— he falls
Amelia Pond: Are you all right, Mister?
The Doctor: I’m fine! I’m okay! This is all perfectly normal.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don’t know yet. Still cooking. Does it scare you?
Amelia Pond: It just looks a bit weird.
The Doctor: No no no. The crack in your wall, does it scare you?
Amelia Pond: Yes.
The Doctor: Well then, no time to lose. I’m the Doctor. Do everything I tell you, don’t ask stupid questions, and don’t wander off. turns and smacks into a tree.
Amelia Pond: You alright?
The Doctor: Early days. Steering’s a bit off.
The Doctor: So your aunt. Where’s she?
Amelia: She’s out.
The Doctor: And she left you all alone?
Amelia: I’m not scared.
The Doctor: ‘Course you’re not!
You’re not afraid of anything. Box falls out of the sky, man falls out of the box, man eats fish custard. And look you, just sitting there. So you know what I think.
Amelia: What?
The Doctor: Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall.
The Doctor: You know when grown-ups tell you everything’s gonna be fine and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better.
Amelia: Yes.
The Doctor: Everything’s going to be fine.
The Doctor: Give me five minutes. I’ll be right back.
Amelia: People always say that.
The Doctor: Am I people? Do I even look like people. Trust me. I’m the Doctor.
The Doctor: Hang on, no wait—you’re a policewoman.
Amy: And you’re breaking and entering. You see how this works?
The Doctor: But what are you doing here? Where’s Amelia?
Amy: Amelia Pond?
The Doctor: Yeah. Amelia. Little Scottish girl. Where is she? I promised her five minutes, but the engines were phasing. I suppose I must have gone a bit far. Has something happened to her?
Amy: Amelia Pond hasn’t lived here in a long time.
The Doctor: How long?
Amy: Six months.
The Doctor: No! No! No no no. I can’t be six months late. I said five minutes. I promised. What happened to her? What happened to Amelia Pond?
The Doctor: How many rooms?
Amy: I’m sorry, what?
The Doctor: On this floor. How many rooms on this floor? Count them for me now.
Amy: Why?
The Doctor: Because it will change your life.
The Doctor: Oh, what has the bad alien done to you?
Amy: Will that door hold it?
The Doctor: Oh yeah! Yeah, ‘course. It’s an inter-dimensional, multiform from outer space. They’re all terrified of wood.
The Doctor: Run! Just go. Your backup’s coming. I’ll be fine.
Amy: There is no back up.
The Doctor: I heard you on the radio. You called for back up.
Amy: I was pretending. It’s a pretend radio.
The Doctor: But you’re a policewoman.
Amy: I’m a kiss-o-gram!
The Doctor: You’re Amelia!
Amy: You’re late.
The Doctor: Amelia Pond. You’re the little girl.
Amy: I’m Amelia. And you’re late.
The Doctor: What happened?
Amy: Twelve years.
The Doctor: You hit me with a cricket bat.
Amy: Twelve years.
The Doctor: A cricket bat.
Amy: Twelve years and four psychiatrists!
The Doctor: Who’s Amy? You were Amelia.
Amy: Yeah? And now I’m Amy.
The Doctor: Amelia Pond. That was a great name.
Amy: Bit fairy tale.
Amy: It’s you. You came back.
The Doctor: ‘Course I came back. I always come back. Something wrong with that?
Amy: You kept the clothes.
The Doctor: Well I just saved the world. The whole planet for about the millionth time. No charge. Yeah, shoot me. I kept the clothes.
Amy: Including the bow tie.
The Doctor: Yeah, it’s cool. Bow ties are cool.
Amy: Are you from another planet?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Amy: ‘Kay.
The Doctor: So what do you think?
Amy: What?
The Doctor: Other planets. Wanna check some out?
Amy: What does that mean?
The Doctor: It means, well. It means, come with me.
Amy: Where?
The Doctor: Wherever you like.
Amy: All that stuff that happened—the hospital, the spaceships, Prisoner Zero—
The Doctor: Oh, don’t worry. That’s just the beginning. There’s loads more.
Amy: Yeah but those things. Those amazing things—all that stuff… That was two years ago!
The Doctor: Ooo! … Oops. So that’s—
Amy: Fourteen years!
The Doctor: Fourteen years since fish custard. Amy Pond, the Girl Who Waited. You’ve waited long enough.
Amy: When I was a kid you said there was a library. And a swimming pool. And the swimming pool was in the library.
The Doctor: Yeah. Not sure where it’s got to now. It’ll turn up. So: coming?
Amy: No.
The Doctor: You wanted to come fourteen years ago.
Amy: I grew up.
The Doctor: Don’t worry. I’ll soon fix that. snaps his fingers and opens the TARDIS door.
The Doctor: All these years, living here most of your life and you’ve still got that accent. Yeah, you’re coming.
Amy: Can you get me back for tomorrow morning?
The Doctor: It’s a time machine. I can get you back for five minutes ago. Why, what’s tomorrow?
Amy: Nothing. Nothing. Just, you know, stuff.
The Doctor: Alright then. Back in time for stuff.
Amy: I was starting to think you were just, like, a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there’s something you better understand about me ’cause it’s important. And one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a mad man with a box.
The Beast Below
Amy: My name is Amy Pond. When I was seven I had an imaginary friend. Last night was the night before my wedding. My imaginary friend came back.
Amy: I’m in the future. Like hundreds of years in the future. I’ve been dead for centuries.
The Doctor: Oh… lovely. You’re a cheery one. Never mind dead! Look at this place. Isn’t it wrong?
Mandy: You sound Scottish.
Amy: I am Scottish. What’s wrong with that? Scotland’s gotta be here somewhere.
Mandy: No. They wanted their own ship.
Amy: Good for them. Nothing changes.
Mandy: How do you not know about this? Are you Scottish too?
The Doctor: Oh, I’m way worse than the Scottish. I can’t even see the movie. Won’t play for me.
Amy: Played for me.
The Doctor: Well the difference being the computer doesn’t accept me as human.
Amy: Why not? You look human.
The Doctor: No. You look Time Lord. We came first.
Amy: I voted for this. Why would I do that?
The Doctor: ‘Cause you knew if we stayed here I’d be faced with an impossible choice. Humanity or the alien. You took it upon yourself to save me from that. And that was wrong, You don’t ever decide what I need to know.
Amy: I don’t even remember doing it.
The Doctor: You did it. That’s what counts.
Amy: I’m… I’m sorry.
The Doctor: Oh I don’t care. When I’m done here you’re going home.
Amy: Why? Because I made a mistake? One mistake. I don’t even remember doing it! Doctor!
The Doctor: Yeah. I know. You’re only human.
Liz Ten: What are you doing?
The Doctor: The worst thing I ever do. I’m going to pass a massive electrical charge through the Star Whale’s brain. It should knock over his high functions. Leave it a vegetable. The ship will still fly but the whale won’t feed it.
Amy: That will be like killing it.
The Doctor: Amy, what have you done!
Amy: Nothing at all. Am I right?
Winder: We’ve increased speed!
Amy: Yeah, we’ll you’ve stopped torturing the pilot. Gotta help.
Amy: The Star Whale didn’t come like a miracle all those years ago. It volunteered. You didn’t have to trap it or torture it. That was all just you. It came because it couldn’t stand to watch your children cry. What if you were really old and really kind and alone—your whole race dead, no future. What could you do then? If you were that old and that kind, and the very last of your kind, you couldn’t just stand there and watch children cry.
The Doctor: Amy, you could have killed everyone on this ship.
Amy: And you could have killed a Star Whale.
Amy: Hey.
The Doctor: What?
Amy: Gotcha.
Amy: Shouldn’t we say goodbye? Won’t they wonder where we went?
The Doctor: For the rest of their lives. Oh the songs they’ll write. Never mind them. Big day tomorrow.
Amy: Sorry, what?
The Doctor: Well it’s always a big day tomorrow. We’ve got a time machine. I skip the little ones.
Amy: You know what I said about getting back tomorrow morning? Have you ever run away from something because you were scared. Or not ready. Or just… just because you could?
The Doctor: Once. A long time ago.
Amy: What happened?
The Doctor: Hello.
Amy: In bed above or deep asleep. While greater love lies further deep. This dream must end, this world must know. We all depend on the beast below.
Victory of the Daleks
The Doctor: Amy tell him.
Amy: Tell him what?
The Doctor: About the Daleks.
Amy: What do I know about the Daleks?
The Doctor: Everything. They invaded your world, remember? Planets in the sky. You don’t forget that. Amy. Tell me you remember the Daleks.
Amy: Nope. Sorry.
The Doctor: That’s not possible.
Amy: So what do you we do? Is this what we do now, chase after them?
The Doctor: This is what I do, yeah. And it’s dangerous so you wait here.
Amy: What, so you mean I’ve gotta stay down here in the middle of the London Blitz?
The Doctor: Safe as it gets around me.
Amy: Well what does he expect us to do now?
Churchill: KBO, of course!
Amy: What?
Churchill: “Keep Buggering On.”
Churchill: Goodbye Miss Pond.
Amy: It’s been amazing meeting you.
Churchill: I’m sure it has.
Amy: So you have enemies then.
The Doctor: Everyone’s got enemies.
Amy: Yeah but mine’s outside Budgens with the mental Jack Russell. You’ve got, you know, like archenemies.
Amy: You’re worried about the Daleks.
The Doctor: I’m always worried about the Daleks.
The Time of Angels
Amy: You’ve got a time machine. What do you need museums for?
The Doctor: Wrong! Very wrong. Oo! One of mine. Also one of mine.
Amy: Oh I see. It’s how you keep score.
The Doctor: You’re still here. Which part of “wait in the TARDIS until I tell you it’s safe” was so confusing?
Amy: Are you all Mr. Grumpy Face today?
The Doctor: A Weeping Angel, Amy, is the deadliest, most powerful, most malevolent life form evolution has ever produced and right now one of them is trapped inside that wreckage, and I’m supposed to climb in after it with a screwdriver and a torch and—assuming I survive the radiation long enough and assuming the whole ship doesn’t explode in my face—do something incredibly clever which I haven’t actually thought up yet. That’s my day. That’s what I’m up to. Any questions?
Amy: Is River Song your wife? ‘Cause she’s someone from your future. And the way she talks to you, I’ve never seen anyone do that. She’s kind of like, you know, “Heel boy.” She’s Mrs. Doctor from the future, isn’t she? Is she going to be your wife one day?
The Doctor: Yes. {pause.} You’re right. I am definitely Mr. Grumpy Face today.
River: Yes we are.
The Doctor: Sorry, what?
River: Talking about you.
The Doctor: I wasn’t listening. I’m busy.
River: Ah. The other way up. {The Doctor looks at the device and then turns it the right way up}
The Doctor: Yeah.
Amy: You’re so his wife.
River: Oh Amy Amy Amy. This is The Doctor we’re talking about. Do you really think it could be anything that simple?
The Doctor: Lovely species, the Aplans. We should visit them sometime.
Amy: I thought they were all dead.
The Doctor: So is Virginia Woolf. I’m on her bowling team.
The Doctor: Trust me?
Amy: Yeah.
The Doctor: Trust me?
River: Always.
Flesh and Stone
Amy: Where are we?
River: Exactly where we were.
Amy: No we’re not.
The Doctor: Move your feet.
Amy: Doctor, what am I looking at? Explain.
The Doctor: Oh c’mon, Amy. Think! The ship crashed with the power still on, yeah? So what else is still on? The artificial gravity. One good jump and up we fell. Shot out the grav globe to give us an updraft and here we are!
Amy: Okay, so we’ve basically run up the inside of a chimney, yeah? So what if the gravity fails?
The Doctor: I’ve thought about that.
Amy: And?
The Doctor: And we’ll all plunge to our deaths. See? I’ve thought about it.
Amy: Doctor, please, can’t I come with you?
Octavian: You’d slow us down, Miss Pond.
Amy: Don’t wanna sound selfish, but you’d really speed me up.
The Doctor: Amy. You need to start trusting me. It’s never been more important.
Amy: But you don’t always tell me the truth.
The Doctor: If I always told you the truth I wouldn’t need you to trust me.
Amy: Doctor, the crack in my wall. How can it be here?
The Doctor: I don’t know yet but I’m working it out.
The Doctor: Now. Listen. Remember what I told you when you were seven.
Amy: What did you tell me?
The Doctor: No. See that’s the whole point. You have to remember. {he kisses her forehead}
Amy: If you go back there, what happened to the others will happen to you.
Cleric: There weren’t any others!
Amy: There won’t be any you if you go back there.
Amy: And the crack, is that gone too?
The Doctor: Yeah. For now. But the explosion that caused it is… still happening. Somewhere out there. Somewhere in time.
Amy: I wanna go home.
The Doctor: Okay.
Amy: No, not like that. I just want to show you something. You’re running from River. I’m running too.
The Doctor: Well.
Amy: Yeah.
The Doctor: Blimey.
Amy: I know. This is the same night we left, yeah?
The Doctor: We’ve been gone five minutes.
The Doctor: Amy, listen to me. I am 907 years old. Do you understand what that means?
Amy: It’s been awhile?
The Doctor: But you’re human. You’re Amy. You’re getting married in the morning. In the morning…
Amy: Doctor?
The Doctor: It’s you. It’s all about you. Everything. It’s about you.
Amy: Hold that thought.
The Doctor: Amy Pond. Mad, impossible Amy Pond. I don’t know why — I have no idea—but quite possibly the single most important thing in the history of the universe is that I get you sorted out right now.
Vampires of Venice
Rory: And what have you been doing?
Amy: Well… running. And fighting. I’ve been scared. More scared than I thought—
Rory: Did you miss me?
Amy: I… I knew I’d be coming back.
Rory: He was right. It blots out everything else.
Amy: Rory, it’s our date. Let’s not do this.
Rosanna: Who are you with? See, I scarcely believe your idiot brother sent you. What are you doing in my school?
Amy: Okay. I’ll tell you. I’m from Ofsted.
Amy’s Choice
The Doctor: You’ve swallowed a planet.
Amy: I’m pregnant.
The Doctor: You’re huge.
Amy: Yeah, I’m pregnant.
The Doctor: Look at you! When world’s collide.
Amy: Doctor, I’m pregnant.
The Doctor: Oh, look at you both! Five years later and you haven’t changed a bit. Apart from age and… size.
Amy: Oh it’s good to see you Doctor.
The Doctor: Are you pregnant?
The Doctor: Well I wanted to see how you were. You know me, I don’t just abandon people when they leave the TARDIS. This Time Lord’s for life. You don’t get rid of your old pal the Doctor so easily.
Amy: You came here by mistake, didn’t you.
The Doctor: Yeah. Bit of a mistake. But look, what a result. Look at this. Bench. What a nice bench. What will they think of next. So… what do you do around here to stave off the, you know, self-harm?
Amy: Boredom?
Rory: We relax. We live. We listen to the birds.
Amy: Yeah, see! Birds.
The Doctor: Are you okay? Oh thank god! I had a terrible nightmare about you two. That was scary. Don’t ask. You don’t want to know. Safe now. That’s what counts. Blimey. Never dropped off like that before. Well. Never really. I’m getting on a bit you see. Don’t let the cool gear fool you. Now. What’s wrong with the console. Red flashing lights. I bet they mean something.
Rory: Uh. Doctor, I also had a kind of… dream thing.
Amy: Yeah, so did I.
Rory: Not a nightmare though. Just, um, we were married.
Amy: Yeah. In a little village.
Rory: Yeah, sweet little village. And you were pregnant.
Amy: Yes, I was huge. I was a boat.
Rory: So you had the same dream then? Exactly the same dream?
Amy: Are you calling me a boat?
Rory: And Doctor you were visiting.
Amy: Yeah! Yeah, you came to our cottage.
Rory: How can we have had exactly the same dream. It doesn’t make any sense.
Amy: And you had a nightmare about us. What happened to us in the nightmare?
The Doctor: It was a bit similar in some aspects.
Rory: Which aspects?
The Doctor: Well, all of them.
Amy: You had the same dream.
The Doctor: Basically.
Rory: You said it was a nightmare.
The Doctor: Did I say nightmare? No. More of a really good… mare.
Rory: Doctor, what is going on?
Amy: Is this because of you? Is this some Time Lord-y thing because you’ve shown up again?
The Doctor: Listen to me. Trust nothing. From now on trust nothing you see, hear or feel.
Rory: But we’re awake now.
The Doctor: Yeah, you thought you were awake in the TARDIS too.
Amy: But we’re home.
The Doctor: Yeah you’re home, you’re also dreaming. Trouble is, Rory, Amy, which is which? Are we flashing forwards or… backwards. Hold on tight. This is going to be a tricky one.
The Doctor: Oh this is bad! I don’t like this! {kicks the console}. Never use force! You just embarrass yourself. Unless you’re cross. In which case, always use force!
Amy: Shall I run and get the manual?
The Doctor: I threw it in a supernova.
Amy: You threw the manual in a supernova? Why?
The Doctor: Because I disagreed with it! Stop talking to me when I’m cross.
The Doctor: You said everyone here lives to their 90s. That’s the one thing that doesn’t make sense. Let’s go poke it with a stick. {He runs off and Rory follows}.
Amy: Can we not do the running thing?
Dream Lord: Oh Amy. You have to sort your men out. Choose, even.
Amy: I have chosen. Of course, I’ve chosen. It’s you, stupid!
Rory: Oh! Good. Thanks.
Dream Lord: You can’t fool me. I’ve seen your dreams. Some of them twice, Amy. Blimey. I’d blush if I had a blood supply. Or a real face.
The Doctor: Now. We all know there’s an elephant in the room.
Amy: I have to be this size, I’m having a baby.
The Doctor: No. No. The hormones seem real, but no.
Rory: I want the other life. I mean we were happy and settled and… about have a baby.
Amy: But don’t you wonder, if that life is real, then why did we give up all this? Why would anyone.
Rory: Because we’re going to freeze to death.
Amy: Doctor, what are you doing? What are those piles of dust?
The Doctor: Playtime’s definitely over.
Amy: Okay, which world do you think is real?
The Doctor: This world.
Rory: No! The other one!
The Doctor: Yeah, but are we disagreeing or competing?
Amy: Competing? Over what?
Amy: My boys. My Poncho Boys. If we’re going to die, let’s die looking like a Peruvian folk band.
Dream Lord: Poor Amy. He always leaves you, doesn’t he? Alone in the dark. Never apologizes.
Amy: He doesn’t have to.
Dream Lord: That’s good. Because he never will. And now he’s left you with me. Spooky old not-to-be-trusted me. Anything could happen.
Amy: Who are you and what do you want? The Doctor knows you, but he’s not telling me who you are. And he always does. Takes him awhile sometimes but he tells me. So you’re something different.
Dream Lord: Oh, is that who you think you are? The one he trusts?
Amy: Actually, yes.
Dream Lord: The only girl in the Universe to whom the Doctor tells everything.
Amy: Yes.
Dream Lord: So what’s his name?
Amy: I think the baby’s starting.
Rory: Honestly?
Amy: Would I make it up at a time like this?!
Rory: Well you do have a history of… {she eyes him} being very lovely.
Amy: Save him. You save everyone. You always do. That’s what you do.
The Doctor: Not always. I’m sorry.
Amy: Then what is the point of you?
Amy: This is the dream. Definitely this one. If we die here we wake up, yeah?
The Doctor: Unless we just die.
Amy: Either way, this is my only chance of seeing him again. This is the dream.
The Doctor: How do you know?
Amy: Because if this is real I don’t want it. I don’t want it.
The Doctor: You’re very sure? This could be the real world.
Amy: It can’t. Rory isn’t here. I didn’t know. I honestly didn’t until right now. I just want him.
The Doctor: Okay.
Amy: I love Rory and I never told him. And now he’s gone.
The Hungry Earth
The Doctor: Behold, Rio!
Amy: Not really getting the Sunshine Carneval vibe.
The Doctor: No— Oo! What’s that? Ground feels strange. Just me. Wait. That’s weird.
Rory: What’s weird?
Amy: Doctor, stop trying to distract us. We’re in the wrong place. It’s freezing and I’m dressed for Rio, here. Not some— Doctor, are you listening to me? It’s a graveyard. You promised me a beach.
The Doctor: Bluegrass. Patches of it all around the graveyard. So. Earth. 2020-ish. Ten years in your future. Wrong continent for Rio, I’ll admit. But it’s not a massive overshoot.
Amy: Why are those people waving at us?
The Doctor: Can’t be. It is. It’s you two.
Rory: No. We’re here. How can we be up there.
The Doctor: Ten years in your future, come to relive past glories I’d imagine. Humans, you’re so nostalgic.
Amy: We’re still together in ten years.
Rory: No need to sound so surprised.
Amy: Hey, let’s go talk to them. We could say hi to Future Us. How cool is that?
The Doctor: Uh, no. Best not. Really best not. These things get complicated very quickly and— Oh look. Big mining thing. I love a big mining thing. See? Way better than Rio. Rio doesn’t have a big mining thing.
Amy: We’re not going to have a look, are we?
The Doctor: Let’s go and have a look.
The Doctor: Restricted access. No unauthorized personnel.
Amy: That is breaking and entering!
The Doctor: What did I break? Sonic-ing and entering, totally different.
Amy: Oh please. Have you always been this disgusting?
The Doctor: No. That’s recent.
Cold Blood
Malohkeh: From the clothing, the human female seems to be more resistant to the cold than the male.
Amy: I dressed for RIO!
Mo: Where’d you get that?
Amy: You never picked a lizard man’s pocket?
Amy: Let them go.
The Doctor: Amy! Oh, there’s a girl to rely on.
Amy: Okay, sorry. As rescues go it didn’t live up to its potential.
The Doctor: I’m glad you’re okay.
Amy: Me too.
The Doctor: Hello!
Rory: Where’s Amy?
The Doctor: She’s fine. Look.
Rory: Oh thank god.
Amy: Just keeping you on your toes.
Amy: The other way, idiot!
The Doctor: Not here, not now. It’s getting wider.
Amy: The crack on my bedroom wall.
The Doctor: And the Byzantium. All through the universe, rips in the continuum. Some sort of space-time cataclysm. An explosion maybe. Big enough to put cracks in the universe. But… what?
Rory: I don’t understand.
Amy: Sh! Don’t talk. Doctor, is he okay? We have to get him on the TARDIS.
Rory: We were on the hill. I can’t die here.
Amy: Don’t say that.
Rory: You’re so beautiful. I’m sorry.
Amy: That light. If his body’s absorbed I’ll forget him. He’ll never have existed. You can’t let that happen. What are you doing? Doctor, no! No no! Doctor, we can’t just leave him!
The Doctor: Keep him in your mind. Keep him in your mind. Don’t forget him. If you forget him you’ll lose him forever.
Amy: Then why on the Byzantium, I still remember the clerics because I am a time traveler. Now you said—
The Doctor: They weren’t part of your world. This is different. This is your own history changing.
Amy: Tell me it’s going to be okay. Make it okay.
The Doctor: It’s going to be hard but you can do it. Tell me about Rory, huh. Fantastic Rory. Funny Rory. Gorgeous Rory. Amy, listen to me: do exactly as I say. Amy please, keep concentrating you can do this.
Amy: I can’t.
The Doctor: You can. You can do it. I can’t help you unless you do. We can still save his memory.
Vincent and the Doctor
Musée d’Orsay
Amy: Thanks for bringing me.
The Doctor: You’re welcome.
Amy: You’re being so nice to me. Why are you being so nice to me?
The Doctor: I’m always nice to you.
Amy: Not like this. All these places you’re taking me—Arcadia, the Trojan Gardens, now this— I think it’s suspicious.
The Doctor: What? It’s not. There’s nothing
to be suspicious about.
Amy: Okay. I was joking. Why aren’t you?
Van Gogh: Your hair is orange.
Amy: Yes. So’s yours.
Van Gogh: Yes. It was more orange but now as of course, less.
Amy: Wow. I mean really. Wow.
Van Gogh: They’re not my favorite flower.
Amy: You don’t like sunflowers?
Van Gogh: No, it’s not that I don’t like them. I find them complex. Always somewhere between living and dying. Half-human as they turn to the sun. A little disgusting. But you know, they are a challenge.
The Doctor: And one I’m pretty sure you’ll rise to.
Amy: What’s happening?
The Doctor: We’re leaving. Everyone knows he’s a delicate man. Just months from now he’ll… he’ll take his own life.
Amy: Don’t say that. Please.
Amy: I’m sorry you’re so sad.
Van Gogh: But I’m not. Sometimes these moods torture me for weeks— for months. But I’m good now. If Amy Pond can soldier on then so can Vincent Van Gogh.
Amy: I’m not soldiering on. I’m fine.
Van Gogh: Oh Amy, I hear the song of your sadness. You’ve lost someone I think.
Amy: I’m not sad.
Van Gogh: Then why are you crying? It’s all right. I understand.
Amy: I’m not sure I do.
The Doctor: Is this how time normally passes? Really slowly. In the right order. There’s one thing I can’t stand it’s an unpunctual alien attack!
Amy: Are you okay? You seem a little bit… well, if I didn’t know you better, I’d say nervous.
The Doctor: Yes. There’s something not quite right and I can’t quite put my finger on it.
The Doctor: Okay, here’s the plan. Amy, Rory—
Amy: Who?
The Doctor: Sorry! Um… Vincent.
Amy: What? What is the plan?
The Doctor: I don’t know actually. My only definite plan is that in the future I’m definitely just using this screwdriver for screwing in screws.
Amy: Time can be rewritten! I know it can. Come on! Oh, the long life of Vincent Van Gogh. There’ll be hundreds of new paintings.
The Doctor: I’m not sure there will.
Amy: So you were right. No new paintings. We didn’t make a difference at all.
The Doctor: I wouldn’t say that. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and… bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant. And we definitely added to his pile of good things.
The Doctor: And… if you look carefully, maybe we did indeed make a couple of little changes.
Amy: No Krafayis.
The Doctor: No Krafayis.
Amy: If we had got married our kids would have had very very red hair.
The Doctor: The ultimate ginger.
Amy: The ultimate ging. Brighter than sunflowers.
The Lodger
Amy to the TARDIS: Why can’t you land!?
The Doctor: Earth to Pond, Earth to Pond. Come in Pond.
Amy: Doctor! Sorry.
The Doctor: Could you not wreck my new earpiece, Pond?
The Doctor: How’s the TARDIS coping?
Amy: Hm. See for yourself.
The Doctor: Oo, nasty. She’s locked in a materialization loop. Trying to land again but she can’t.
Amy: And whatever’s stopping her is upstairs in that flat. So. Go upstairs and sort it.
The Doctor: I don’t know what it is yet. Anything that could stop the TARDIS from landing is big. Scary big.
Amy: Wait. Are you scared?
The Doctor: Now all I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong.
Amy: Have you seen you?
The Doctor: So you’re just going to be snide. No helpful hints.
Amy: Hm. Well, here’s one. “Bow tie: get rid”.
Amy: It stopped… -ish.
The Doctor: So I’m going out. If I hang about the house all the time the people upstairs might get suspicious. Notice me.
Amy: Football. Oh good, well done. That is normal.
The Doctor: Yeah. Football. All outdoorsy. Now. Football’s the one with the sticks, isn’t it?
The Doctor: It’s too normal!
Amy: Only for you could too normal be a problem.
Amy: Doctor! Stop!
The Doctor: Wait wait. Amy?
Amy: Are you upstairs?
The Doctor: Just going in.
Amy: No, but you can’t be upstairs.
The Doctor: Of course I can be upstairs.
Amy: Nope. I’ve got the plans. You can not be upstairs, it’s a one-story building. There is no upstairs.
The Pandorica Opens
The Doctor: I can’t believe I never thought of this before. It’s genius! Right. Landed. C’mon.
Amy: Where are we?
The Doctor: Planet Morg. The oldest planet in the universe. And there’s a cliff of pure diamond and according to legend on the cliff there’s writing, letters fifty feet high. A message from the dawn of time. And no one knows what it says ’cause no one’s ever translated it. Until today.
Amy: What happens today?
The Doctor: Us.
Amy: That’s a Roman legion.
The Doctor: Yeah. The Romans invaded Britain several times during this period.
Amy: Oh, I know. My favorite topic at school. “Invasion of the Hot Italians”. Yeah, I did get marked down for the title.
Amy: So it’s kind of like Pandora’s Box then. Almost the same name.
The Doctor: Sorry, what?
Amy: The story. Pandora’s Box. With all the worst things in the world in it. That was my favorite book when I was a kid. The Doctor is interested What’s wrong?
The Doctor: Your favorite school topic, your favorite story. Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you’re busy. In which case always ignore a coincidence.
The Doctor: Think of the fear that went into making this box. What could inspire that level of fear? Hello, you. Have we met?
Amy: So why would it start to open now?
The Doctor: No idea.
Amy: And how could Vincent have known about it? He won’t even have been born for centuries.
The Doctor: Remember that night you flew away with me?
Amy: Of course I do.
The Doctor: And you asked me why I was taking you and I told you there was no reason. I was lying.
Amy: What, so you did have a reason?
The Doctor: Your house.
Amy: My house.
The Doctor: It was too big. Too many empty rooms. Does it ever bother you, Amy, that your life doesn’t make any sense?
Headless Cyberman: You will be assimilated.
Amy: Yeah? You and who’s body?
The Doctor: Just your basic knock out drops. Get some fresh air, you’ll be fine.
Amy: Is it safe up there?
The Doctor: Not remotely. But it’s fresh.
Rory: Hey, what’s wrong?
Amy: Nothing. It’s like… it’s like I’m happy.
Why am I happy?
Rory: Listen to me, you have to run. You have to get as far away from here as you can. I’m a thing. I’ll kill you. Just go!
Please, no, I don’t want to go. Im Rory! I’m—
Amy: Williams. Rory Williams from Leadworth. My boyfriend. How can I forget you?
The Big Bang
1,894 years later…
Amelia Pond: Dear Santa, Thank you for the dolls and pencils and fish. It’s Easter now, so I hope I didn’t wake you. But honest, it is an emergency. There’s a crack in my wall. Aunt Sharon says it’s just an ordinary crack but I know it’s not, ’cause at night there’s voices. So please, please could you send someone to fix it? Or a policeman… or… {hears something outside.} Back in a moment. {she looks out the window and there’s nothing there}
Aunt Sharon: It’s a lovely painting, Amelia. And what are all these?
Amelia: Stars.
Aunt Sharon: Oh Amelia.
Aunt Sharon: What do you see, Amelia?
Amelia: The moon.
Aunt Sharon: And what else?
Amelia: Just the dark.
Aunt Sharon: But no stars. If there were stars up there we’d be able to see them, wouldn’t we? Amelia, look at me. You know this is all just a story, don’t you? You know there’s no such thing as stars.
Aunt Sharon: I just don’t want her growing up and joining one of those star cults. I don’t trust that Richard Dawkins.
Amelia tipping over stuffed penguins: Sorry.
Amelia touches the Pandorica, which starts to glow and opens to reveal:
Amy: Okay, kid. This is where it gets complicated.
1,894 years previously…
Rory: So the Universe ended. You missed that. 102 A.D. I suppose this means you and I never get born at all. Twice in my case. You would have laughed at that. Please laugh. The Doctor said the Universe was huge and ridiculous and sometimes there were miracles. I could do with a ridiculous miracle about now. The Doctor suddenly appears in a fez holding a mop.
The Doctor: Rory! Listen, she’s not dead. Well, she is dead but it’s not the end of the world. Well it is the end of the world. Actually it’s the end of the Universe. Although. Hold on. {pops back} You need to get me out of the Pandorica.
Rory: But you’re not in the Pandorica.
The Doctor: Yes I am. Well I’m not now but I was back then. Well. Back now from your point of view. Which is back then from my point of view. Time travel, you can’t keep it straight in your head. It’s easy to open from the outside. Just point. And press. Now go. {He disappears. And reappears.} Oh, and when you’re done leave my screwdriver in her top pocket. Good luck.
Rory: What d’you mean? Done what?
The Doctor: How did you do that?
Rory: You gave me this.
The Doctor: No I didn’t.
Rory: You did. Look at it.
The Doctor: Temporal energy. Same screwdriver at different points in its own time stream. Which means it was me who gave it to you. Me from the future. I’ve got a future. That’s nice. {he sees the Daleks.} That’s not.
Rory: Yeah. What are they?
The Doctor: History has collapsed. Whole races have been deleted from existence. These are just like after-images. Echoes. Fossils in time made from prints of the Neverwere.
Rory: Uh. What does that mean?
The Doctor: Total event collapse. The Universe literally never happened.
Rory: So how can we be here? What’s keeping us safe?
The Doctor: Nothing. Eye of the Storm, that’s all. We’re just the last light to go out. Amy. Where’s Amy?
Rory: I killed her.
The Doctor: Oh Rory.
The Doctor: She’ll be fine. Nothing can get into this box.
Rory: Well. You got in there.
The Doctor: Well there’s only one of me. I counted.
Rory: This box needs a guard. I killed the last one.
The Doctor: No. Rory, no. Don’t even think about it.
Rory: She’ll be all alone.
The Doctor: She won’t even feel it.
Rory: Yeah, you bet she won’t.
The Doctor: Two thousand years, Rory. You won’t even sleep. You’ll be conscious every second. It would drive you mad.
Rory: Will she be safer if I stay? Look me in the eye and tell me she wouldn’t be safer.
The Doctor: Rory, you—
Rory: Answer me!
The Doctor: Yes. Obviously.
Rory: Then how could I leave her.
The Doctor: Why do you have to be so… human?
Rory: Because right now I’m not.
The Doctor: Listen to me. This is the last bit of advice you’re going to get in a very long time. You’re living plastic but you’re not immortal. I have no idea how long you’ll last. And you’re not indestructible. Stay away from heat. And radio signals when they come along. You can’t heal or repair yourself. Any damage is permanent. So for God’s sake, however bored you get, stay out of—
According to legend, wherever the Pandorica was taken, throughout its long history, the Centurion would be there guarding it. He appears as an iconic image in the artwork of many cultures. And there are several documented accounts of his appearances. And his warnings to the many who attempted to open the box before its time. His last recorded appearance was during the London Blitz in 1941. The warehouse where the Pandorica was stored was destroyed by incendiary bombs. But the box itself was found the next morning a safe distance from the blaze. There are eyewitness accounts from the night of the fire of a figure in Roman dress carrying the box from the flames. Since then, there have been no sightings of the lone Centurion. And many have speculated that if he ever existed, he perished in the fires of that night, performing one last act of devotion to the box he had pledged to protect for nearly two thousand years.
Amy: Rory. Oh Rory.
Dalek: Exterminate! Exterminate!
Rory: What’s that?
The Doctor: Trouble! Oh. Ah! Two of you. Complicated.
Dalek: Weapon systems restoring.
The Doctor: Come along, Ponds.
Amy: What are we doing?
The Doctor: Well we are running into a dead end where I’m going to have a brilliant plan that basically involves not being in one.
The Doctor: Well. Somebody didn’t get out much for two thousand years.
Amelia: I’m thirsty—can I get a drink?
The Doctor: Oh, it’s all mouths today isn’t it.
The Doctor: Light. The light from the Pandorica. It must have hit the Dalek.
The Doctor: So. Two thousand years. How’d you do it?
Rory: Kept out of trouble.
The Doctor: How?
Rory: Unsuccessfully.
Amy: How are you doing that?
The Doctor: Vortex manipulator. Cheap and nasty time travel. Very bad for you. Trying to give it up.
Amy: Is he dead?
The Doctor: Wha- ? Dead? Yes yes. Of course he’s dead. Right! I’ve got twelve minutes. That’s good.
Amy: Twelve minutes to live. How is that good?
The Doctor: Oh, you can do loads in twelve minutes. Suck a mint, buy a sledge, have a fast bath.
The Doctor: History is still collapsing.
Amy: Well how can I still be here if she’s not?
The Doctor: You’re an anomaly. We all are. We’re all just hanging on at the eye of the storm. But the eye is closing. And if we don’t do something fast reality will never have happened. Today, just dying is a result.
Amy: It’s morning already. How did that happen?
The Doctor: History is shrinking. Is anybody listening to me?
The Doctor: Total event collapse means that every star in the Universe never happened. Not one single one of them ever shone, so if all the stars that ever were are gone then what is that? Like I said, I’m looking for an exploding TARDIS.
Rory: But that’s the sun.
The Doctor: Is it? Well here’s the noise that sun is making right now. That’s my TARDIS burning up. That’s what’s been keeping the Earth warm.
Rory: Doctor, there’s something else. There’s a voice.
Amy: I can’t hear it.
Rory: Trust the plastic.
River: I’m sorry my love.
Amy: Doctor, that’s River. How can she be up there?
Rory: Must be like a recording or something.
The Doctor: No, it’s not a recording. Of course. The emergency protocols. The TARDIS has sealed off the control room and put her into a time loop to save her. She is right at the heart of the explosion.
The Doctor: Hi honey. I’m home.
River: And what sort of time do you call this?
River: Amy! And the plastic Centurion.
The Doctor: It’s okay. He’s on our side.
River: Really?
The Doctor: Yep.
River: I dated a Nestene duplicate once. Swappable head. Did keep things fresh. Right then! I have questions. But number one is this: What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?
The Doctor: It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool. {Amy grabs the fez off his head and throws it in the air so River can shoot it}
The Doctor: It needs to restore its power before it can attack again. Now. That means we’ve got exactly… four and a half minutes before it’s at lethal capacity.
Rory: How do you know?
The Doctor: Because that’s when it’s due to kill me.
River: Kill you? What do you mean, kill you?
River: Doctor, you’re being completely ridiculous. The Pandorica partially restored one Dalek. If it can’t even reboot a single life form properly how is it going to reboot the whole of reality?
The Doctor: What if we give it a moment of infinite power? What if we can transmit the light from the Pandorica to every particle of space and time simultaneously?
River: Well that would be lovely, dear, but we can’t. Because it’s completely impossible.
The Doctor: Ah, no. you see. It’s not. It’s almost completely impossible. One spark is all we need.
River: For what?
The Doctor: Big Bang II! Now listen— {the Dalek shoots him in the back}
River: Where did he go? Dammit, he could be anywhere!
Amy: He went downstairs. Twelve minutes ago.
River: Show me!
Amy: River. He died.
Dalek: Systems restoring. You will be exterminated!
Rory: We’ve got to move. That thing’s coming back to life.
River: You go to the Doctor. I’ll be right with you.
Dalek: You will be exterminated!
River: Not yet. Your systems are still restoring which means your shield density is compromised. One alpha meson burst through your eyestalk would kill you stone dead.
Dalek: Records indicate you will show mercy. You are an associate of the Doctor’s.
River: I’m River Song. Check your records again.
Dalek: Mercy.
River: Say it again.
Dalek: Mercy!
River: One more time.
Dalek: Mercy!!!
Rory: How could he have moved? He was dead. Doctor! Doctor!
Amy: But he was dead.
River: Who told you that?
Amy: He did.
River: Rule one: the Doctor lies.
Amy: Where’s the Dalek?
River: It died.
Rory: Why did he tell us he was dead?
Amy: We were a diversion. As long as the Dalek was chasing us he could work down here.
River: Doctor, can you hear me? What were you doing?
Rory: What’s happening?
River: Reality’s collapsing. It’s speeding up. Look at this room.
Rory: Where’d everything go?
River: History’s being erased. Time’s running out. Doctor, what were you doing? Tell us. Doctor!
The Doctor: Big Bang II.
Rory: The Big Bang. That’s the beginning of the Universe, right?
River: He’s wired the vortex manipulator to the rest of the box.
Amy: Why?
River: So he can take it with him. He’s going to fly the Pandorica into the heart of the explosion.
Rory: You okay?
Amy: Are you?
Rory: No.
Amy: Well shut up then!
Amy: So what happens here? A Big Bang II—what happens to us?
River: We all wake up where we ought to be. None of this ever happens and we don’t remember it.
Amy: River. Tell me he comes back too.
River: The Doctor will be at the heart of the explosion.
Amy: So?
River: So all the cracks in time will close. But he’ll be on the wrong side. Trapped in the nether space—the void between the worlds. All memory of him will be purged from the Universe. He will never have been born. Now please. He wants to talk to you before he goes.
Amy: Not to you?
River: He doesn’t really know me yet. Now he never will.
The Doctor: Amy Pond. The Girl Who Waited. All night in your garden. Was it worth it?
Amy: Shut up. Of course it was.
The Doctor: You asked me why I was taking you with me and I said “No reason.” I was lying.
Amy: It’s not important.
The Doctor: Yeah. It’s the most important thing left in the Universe. It’s why I’m doing this. Amy, your house is too big. That big, empty house, just you.
Amy: And Aunt Sharon.
The Doctor: Where were mom and dad? Where was everybody who lived in that big house?
Amy: I lost my mom and dad.
The Doctor: How? What happened to them? Where did they go?
Amy: I— I don’t…
The Doctor: It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t panic. It’s not your fault.
Amy: I don’t even remember.
The Doctor: There’s a crack in time in the wall of your bedroom. And it’s been eating away at your life for a long time now. Amy Pond. All alone. The Girl Who Didn’t Make Sense. How could I resist?
Amy: I’m not going to just
forget.
The Doctor: Nothing is ever forgotten. Not really. But you have to try.
River: Doctor! It’s speeding up!
The Doctor: It’s going to be a very Big Bang, Big Bang II. Try to remember your family and they’ll be there.
Amy: How can I remember them if they never existed?
The Doctor: Because you’re special. That crack in your wall, all that time. The universe pouring into your head. You brought Rory back. You can bring them back too. You just remember. They’ll be there.
Amy: You won’t.
The Doctor: You’ll have your family back. You won’t need your imaginary friend anymore. Amy Pond. Crying over me, eh? Guess what.
Amy: What?
The Doctor: Gotcha.
River: It’s from the Doctor.
Amy: What does it say?
River: “Geronimo.”
The Doctor: Oh. Okay. I escaped then. Brilliant. Love it when I do that. Legs. Yes. Bow tie. Cool. {feels for his hat} I can buy a fez.
The Doctor: Oh. No hang on, wait. That’s last week when we went to Space Florida. I’m rewinding. My time stream. Unraveling. Erasing. Closing. Hello Universe. Goodbye Doctor.
The Doctor: Amelia’s house. When she was seven. The night she waited. The Girl Who Waited. C’mere you. It’s funny. I thought if you could hear me I could hang on somehow. See me. See the old Doctor. When you wake up you’ll have a mom and dad. And you won’t even remember me. Well. You’ll remember me a little. I’ll be a story in your head. That’s okay. We’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? ‘Cause it was, you know. It was the best. The daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back. Oh that box. Amy, you’ll dream about that box. It’ll never leave you. Big and little at the same time. Brand new and ancient and the bluest blue ever. And the times we had, eh? Would have had. Never had. In your dreams they’ll still be there. The Doctor and Amy Pond. And the days that never came. The cracks are closing. But they can’t close properly ’til I’m on the other side. I don’t belong here anymore. I think I’ll skip the rest of the rewind. I hate repeats. Live well. Love Rory. Bye bye, Pond.
Rory: You’re crying.
Amy: So I am. Why am I doing that?
Rory: Because you’re happy, probably. Happy Mrs. Rory. Happy happy happy.
Amy: No. I’m sad. I’m really really sad.
Rory: Great.
Amy: Why am I sad? {sees the diary} What’s that?
Rory: Oh, uh. Someone left it for you. A woman.
Amy: What is it?
Rory: It’s a book.
Amy: It’s blank.
Rory: It’s a present.
Amy: But why?
Rory: Oh, you know the old saying. The old wedding thing. Eh?
Amy: When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend. The Raggedy Doctor. My Raggedy Doctor. But he wasn’t imaginary. He was real. I remember you. I remember! I brought the others back, I can bring you home too. Raggedy Man, I remember you and you are late for my wedding! I found you. I found you with words like you knew I would. That’s why you told me the story. The brand new ancient blue box. Oh clever. Very clever. Something old. Something new. Something borrowed. Something blue.
Rory: It’s the Doctor. How did we forget the Doctor. I was plastic…
Amy: Okay, Doctor. Did I surprise you this time?
The Doctor: Uh yeah. Completely astonished. Never expected that. How lucky that I happen to be wearing this old thing.
Hello everyone! I’m Amy’s imaginary friend! But I came anyway.
Amy: You absolutely definitely may kiss the bride.
The Doctor: Amelia! From now on I shall be leaving the kissing duties to the brand new Mr. Pond.
Rory: No. I’m not Mr. Pond. That’s not how it works.
The Doctor: Yeah it is.
Rory: Yeah. It is.
The Doctor: Right then everyone. I’ll be in my box. You’re going to need the space. I only came for the dancing.
The Doctor: Two thousand years. The Boy Who Waited. Good on you, mate.
River: Did you dance? Well you always dance at weddings, don’t you.
The Doctor: You tell me.
River: Spoilers.
The Doctor: The writing’s all back but I didn’t peek.
River: Thank you.
The Doctor: Are you married, River?
River: Are you asking?
The Doctor: Yes.
River: Yes.
The Doctor: No. Hang on. Did you think I was asking you to marry me or asking if you were married?
River: Yes.
The Doctor: No, but was that yes or yes?
River: Yes.
The Doctor: River. Who are you?
River: You’re going to find out very soon
now. And I’m sorry. But that’s when everything changes.
Amy: Oy! Where are you off to? We haven’t even had a snog in the shrubbery yet.
Rory: Amy.
Amy: Shut up! It’s my wedding.
Rory: Our wedding!
The Doctor: Sorry you two. Shouldn’t have slipped away. It’s a bit busy. You know.
Rory: You just saved the whole of space and time. Take the evening off. Maybe a bit of tomorrow.
The Doctor: Space and time isn’t safe yet. The TARDIS exploded for a reason. Something drew the TARDIS to this particular date and blew it up. Why? And why now? The Silence—whatever it is—is still out there. And I have to— Excuse me a moment. Hello? Oh, hello! I’m sorry this is a very bad line. No no no. But that’s not possible. She was sealed into the Seventh Obelisk. I was at the Prayer Meeting. Well no, I get that it’s important. An Egyptian goddess loose on the Orient Express. In space. Give us a mo. Sorry. Something’s come up. This will have to be goodbye.
Amy: Yeah. I think it’s goodbye. Do you think it’s goodbye?
Rory: Definitely goodbye.
Amy yelling out the door: Goodbye!
The Doctor: Don’t worry about a thing, Your Majesty. We’re on our way.