Partners in Crime
Donna: You really believe in all that stuff, don’t you?
Granddad: It’s all over the place these days. If I wait here long enough—
Donna: Don’t suppose you’ve seen a little blue box.
Granddad: Is that slang for something?
Donna: No. I mean it. If you ever see a little blue box, flying up there in the sky, you shout for me, Gramps. Oh you just shout.
Granddad: You know, I don’t understand half the things you say these days.
Donna: Nor me.
Granddad: Fair dos. You’ve had a funny old time of it lately.
Granddad: You seem to be drifting, Sweetheart.
Donna: I’m not drifting. I’m waiting.
Mom: Why are you whispering?
Donna: I’m in church.
Mom: What are you doing in church?
Donna: Praying.
Mom: Bit late for that, Madame.
In a series of hand gestures and mouthing of words:
The Doctor: Donna?
Donna: Doctor!
The Doctor: What are, what are you—?
Donna: Oh. My. God!
The Doctor: How?
Donna: It’s me!
The Doctor: I can see that.
Donna: Oh this is brilliant!
The Doctor: What the hell are you doing there?
Donna: I was looking for you!
The Doctor: What for?
Donna: I read it on the internet … it’s weird… crept along… heard them talking… looked… It’s you! Th—
Miss Foster: Are we interrupting you?
The Doctor: Run!
Donna: Oh my god. I don’t believe it! You’ve even got the same suit! Don’t you ever change?
The Doctor: Yeah, thanks Donna. Not right now.
Donna: Just like old times!
Donna: I was right. It’s always like this with you, innit?
The Doctor: Oh yes! And off we go.
Miss Foster: I’ve been employed by the Adiposian first family to foster a new generation after their breeding planet was lost.
The Doctor: What d’you mean “lost”? How do you lose a planet?
Miss Foster: Oh, politics are none of my concern. I’m just here to take of the children on behalf of the family.
Donna: What, like an outer space Super Nanny?
Miss Foster: Yes, if you’d like.
Donna: Well that’s one solution: hide in a cupboard. I like it.
Donna: I must have been mad to turn down that offer.
The Doctor: What offer?
Donna: To come with you.
The Doctor: Come with me?
Donna: Oh yes, please!
The Doctor: Right.
Donna: What are you going to do then? Blow them up?
The Doctor: They’re just children. They can’t help where they came from.
Donna: Oh, well that makes a change from last time. That Martha must have done you good.
The Doctor: Yeah, she did.
Donna: I’m waving at fat.
The Doctor: Actually as a diet plan it sort of works.
The Doctor: You’ve got a hat box.
Donna: Planet of the Hats. I’m ready!
Donna: You’re not saying much.
The Doctor: No, it’s just— It’s a funny old life. In the TARDIS.
Donna: You don’t want me.
The Doctor: I’m not saying that.
Donna: But you asked me. would you rather be on your own?
The Doctor: No. actually no. But. The last time, with Martha—like I said, it got, it got complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.
Donna: You just want to mate?!
The Fires of Pompeii
Donna: Hold on a minute. That sign over there’s in English. Are you having me on? Are we in Epcot?
The Doctor: No no no. That’s the TARDIS translation circuits. It just makes it look like English. Speech as well. You’re talking Latin right now.
Donna: Seriously? I just said “seriously” in Latin.
The Doctor: Oh yeah.
Donna: What if I said something in actual Latin? Like “Veni, vidi, vici.” My Dad said that when he came back from football. If I said “veni, vidi, vici” to that lot, what would it sound like?
The Doctor: I’m not sure. You have to think of difficult questions, don’t you?
Donna: I’m gonna try it.
Seller: Afternoon, sweetheart. What can I get you, my love?
Donna: Um, veni, vidi, vici.
Seller: Huh? Sorry? Me no speak Celtic. No can do, missy.
Donna: Yeah. What does he mean, ‘Celtic’?
The Doctor: Welsh. You sound Welsh. There we are. Learned something.
Donna: Don’t my clothes look a bit odd?
The Doctor: Nah! Ancient Rome, anything goes. Like SoHo. But bigger.
Donna: Have you been here before, then?
The Doctor: Ages ago. Before you ask, that fire had nothing to do with me. Well a little bit.
Donna: Wait a minute. One mountain. With smoke. Which makes this—
The Doctor: Pompeii. We’re in Pompeii. And it’s Volcano Day.
Donna: You’re kidding. You’re not telling me the TARDIS is gone.
The Doctor: Okay.
Donna: Where is it?
The Doctor: You told me not to tell you.
Donna: Oy. Don’t get clever in Latin.
Caecilius: Who are you?
The Doctor: I am Spartacus.
Donna: And so am I.
Caecilius: Mr. and Mrs. Spartacus?
The Doctor: Oh no no no. We’re not married.
Donna: We’re not together.
Caecilius: Oh! Brother and sister. Yes, of course. You look very much alike.
The Doctor and Donna: Really?
The Doctor: The Romans haven’t even a word for “volcano”. Not until tomorrow.
Donna: Oh great. They can learn a new word. As they die.
The Doctor: Donna, stop it!
Donna: Listen, I don’t know what sort of kids you’ve been flying around with in outer space but you’re not telling me to shut up.
Lucius: Doctor, she is returning.
The Doctor: Who’s she?
Lucius: And you, Daughter of London. There is something on your back.
Donna: What’s that mean?
Spurrina: The false prophet will surrender both her blood and her breath.
Donna: I’ll surrender you in a minute. Don’t you dare.
Spurrina: You will be be silent.
Donna: Listen, Sister, you might have eyes on the back of your hands but you’ll have eyes in the back of your head by the time I’m finished with you. Let me go!
Spurrina: This prattling voice will cease forever!
The Doctor: Oh, that’ll be the day.
Donna: They’re stone.
The Doctor: Exactly. The people of Pompeii are turning to stone before the volcano erupts. But why?
Donna: You fought her off with a water pistol. I bloody love you!
Donna: But if it’s aliens set off the volcano, doesn’t that make it alright? For you to stop it?
The Doctor: Still part of history.
Donna: But I’m history to you. You saved me. 2008. You saved us all. Why is that different?
The Doctor: Some things are fixed, some things are in flux. Pompeii is fixed.
Donna: How do you know which is which?
The Doctor: Because that’s how I see the Universe. Every waking second I can see what is, what was, what could be, what must not. That’s the burden of the Time Lord, Donna. And I’m the only one left.
Donna: Oh, you better hurry up and think of something. Rocky IV’s on his way.
Donna: Could we be anymore trapped?
The Doctor: You were right. Sometimes I need someone. Welcome aboard.
Donna: Yeah.
Planet of the Ood
Donna: Now that’s what I call a spaceship. You’ve got a box, he’s got a Ferrari.
The Doctor: The Ood are harmless. They’re completely benign. Except the last time I met them there was this force, like a stronger mind. Powerful enough to take them over.
Donna: What sort of force?
The Doctor: Long story.
Donna: Long walk.
The Doctor: It was the Devil.
Donna: If you’re gonna take the mickey I’ll just put my hood back on.
The Doctor: Must be something different this time though. Something closer to home.
Donna: Back home, the papers and the telly, they keep saying we haven’t got long to live. Global warming. Flooding. All the bees disappearing.
The Doctor: Yeah. That thing about the bees is odd.
The Doctor: I’ve had enough of the shmoozing. Do you fancy going off the beaten track?
Donna: Rough Guide to the Oodsphere. Works for me.
Donna: A great big empire, built on slavery.
The Doctor: It’s not so different from your time.
Donna: Oy, I haven’t got slaves.
The Doctor: Who d’you think made your clothes?
Donna: Is that why you travel ’round with a human at your side? It’s not so you can show them the wonders of the universe, it’s so you can take cheap shots?
The Doctor: Sorry.
Donna: Don’t. Spaceman.
Donna: If people back on Earth knew what was going on here…
Solana: Don’t be so stupid. Of course they know.
Donna: They know how you treat the Ood?
Solana: They don’t ask. Same thing.
Donna: I spent all that time looking for you, Doctor, because I thought it would be so wonderful out here. I want to go home.
Donna: Well do something! You’re the one with all the tricks! You must’ve met Houdini!
The Doctor: These are really good handcuffs!
Donna: Oh well I’m glad of that. I mean at least we’ve got quality!
Donna: It’s weird, being with you, I can’t tell what’s right and what’s wrong any more.
The Doctor: It’s better that way. People who know for certain tend to be like Mr. Halpen.
The Doctor: We’ll be off.
Ood Sigma: Take this song with you.
The Doctor: We will.
Donna: Always.
Ood Sigma: And know this, Doctor Donna. You will never be forgotten. Our children will sing of the Doctor Donna. And our children’s children. And the wind and the ice and the snow will carry your names forever.
The Sontaran Strategem
Donna: I can’t believe I’m doing this!
The Doctor: No, neither can I. Oh oh, careful! Left hand down, left hand down! Getting a bit too close to the 1980s.
Donna: What am I going to do, put a dent in ’em?
The Doctor: Well someone did.
The Doctor: Martha, Donna. Donna, Martha. Please, don’t fight. I can’t bear fighting.
Donna: You wish. I’ve heard all about you. He talks about you all the time.
Martha: I dread to think.
Donna: No no, he says nice things. Good things. Nice things. Really good things.
Martha: Oh my god, he’s told you everything.
Donna: Didn’t take long to get over it, though. Who’s the lucky man?
The Doctor: What man? Lucky what?
Donna: She’s engaged, you prawn.
Donna: He is too skinny for words. You give him a hug, you get a paper cut.
Donna: Is that what you did to her? Turned her into a soldier?
Colonel Mace: A modern UNIT for the modern world.
Donna: What, and that means arresting ordinary factory workers. In the street, in broad daylight. It’s more like Guantanamo Bay out there. Donna, by the way. Donna Noble. Since you didn’t ask. I’ll have a salute.
Donna: Oy, you lot! All your Storm Troopers and your sonics, rubbish. You should have come with me.
The Doctor: Why? Where’ve you been?
Donna: Personnel. That’s where all the weird stuff’s happening. In the paperwork.
Martha: I can see why he likes you. You are good.
Donna: Super Temp.
The Doctor: Oh, just in time! C’mon, we’re going to the country. Fresh air and geniuses. What more could you ask.
Donna: I’m not coming with you. I’ve been thinking. I’m sorry. I’m going home.
The Doctor: Really?
Donna: I’ve got to.
The Doctor: Well.
If that’s what you want. Only. It’s a bit soon. I had so many places I wanted to take you. The fifteenth broken moon of the Medusa Cascade. The lightning skies of Cotter Palluni’s World. Diamond coral reefs of Kataa Flo Ko. Thank you. Thank you, Donna Noble. It’s been brilliant. You’ve… you’ve saved my life in so many ways. You’re— you’re just popping home for a visit, that’s what you mean.
Donna: You dumbo.
The Doctor: And then you’re coming back.
Donna: Know what you are? A great big, outer space dunce.
The Doctor: Yeah.
Wilfred Mott: Is it him? Is it the Doctor? Oh, it’s you.
The Doctor: It’s who? Oh, it’s you.
Donna: What, have you met before?
Wilfred Mott: Yeah, Christmas Eve. He disappeared right in front of me.
Donna: And you never said?
Wilfred Mott: Well you never said!
The Doctor: That wasn’t just exhaust fumes. It’s some sort of gas. Artificial gas.
Donna: But if it’s poisonous, then they’ve got poisonous gas in every car on earth.
The Poison Sky
Donna: I can’t believe you’ve got an ax.
The Doctor: Oh, I’ve never given you a key. Keep that. Go on, that’s yours. Quite a big moment really.
Donna: Yeah. Maybe we can get sentimental after the world’s finished choking to death.
The Doctor: Good idea.
The Doctor: Finished?
Staal: You will not be so quick to ridicule when you see our prize. Behold! We are the first Sontarans in history to capture a TARDIS.
The Doctor: Well. As prizes go that’s… noble. As they say in Latin, Dona nobis pacem.
Donna: That’s me. I’m here!
The Doctor: BIg mistake though, showing it to me.
Donna: But who do I phone?
The Doctor: Because I’ve got a remote control.
Staal: Cease transmission!
Donna: Doctor, what number are you on? You haven’t even got a number!
Wilfred: Donna, where are you?
Donna looks around the TARDIS: It’s sort of hard to say. Are you all right?
Donna: What’s happened? Where are you?
The Doctor: Still on Earth. But don’t worry, I’ve got my secret weapon.
Donna: What’s that?
The Doctor: You.
Donna: Somehow that’s not making me happy.
Donna: But he’s going to kill me.
The Doctor: I’m sorry. I swear, I’m so sorry. But you’ve got to try.
Donna pleased with herself: Back of the neck!
The Doctor: Should be a switch by the side.
Donna: Yeah there is. But it’s Sontaran-shaped. You need three fingers.
The Doctor: You’ve got three fingers.
Donna: Oh yeah… I’m through.
The Doctor: Oh, you are brilliant, you are.
Donna: You know that coat… sort of works.
Martha: I feel like a kid in my dad’s clothes.
Donna: Oh well, if you’re calling him “dad” you’re definitely getting over him.
The Doctor: Right, so. Donna, thank you. For everything. Martha, you too. Oh… so many times. Luke, do something clever with your life.
Donna: You’re saying goodbye.
The Doctor: Sontarans are never defeated. They’ll be getting ready for war. And, well, you know… I’ve recalibrated this for Sontaran air, so…
Martha: You’re going to ignite them.
Donna: And kill yourself.
Martha: Just send that thing up, on its own. I don’t know. Put it on a delay.
The Doctor: I can’t.
Donna: Why not?
The Doctor: I’ve got to give them a choice.
Donna to Martha: So, you gonna come with us? We’re not exactly short on space.
The Doctor’s Daughter
The Doctor: I don’t know where we’re going, but my old hand’s rather excited about it.
Donna: I thought that was just some freaky alien thing. You telling me it’s yours?
The Doctor: Well.
Martha: It got cut off—he grew a new one.
Donna: You are completely impossible.
The Doctor: Not impossible. Just… a bit unlikely.
The Doctor: Why did the TARDIS bring us here?
Martha: Oh, I love this bit.
Donna: I thought you wanted to go home.
Martha: I know. But, all the same. It’s that feeling you get.
Donna: Like you swallowed a hamster.
Jenny: Collateral damage. At least you’ve still got her. He lost both his men. I’d say you came out ahead.
Donna:
Her name’s Martha. And she’s not collateral damage, not for anyone. Have you got that, GI Jane?
Donna: Not what you’d call a natural parent, are you?
The Doctor: They stole a tissue sample at gunpoint and processed it. It’s not what I’d call natural parenting.
Donna: Rubbish. My friend Nerys fathered twins using a turkey baster. Didn’t bother her.
Cobb: And you’re the one who showed us the path to victory. But you can consider the irony from your prison cell. Clyde, at arms!
Donna: Oy! Oy, alright! Cool the beans, Rambo.
Cobb: Take them! I won’t have them spreading treason. And if you try anything, Doctor, I’ll see that your woman dies first.
Donna: More numbers. They’ve got to mean something.
The Doctor: Makes as much sense as the breath of life story.
Donna: So the Source could be a weapon and we’ve just given directions to Captain Nutjob.
The Doctor: Oh yes.
Donna: Not good, is it?
Donna: C’mere. Listen. And then tell me where she belongs.
The Doctor: Two hearts.
Donna: Exactly.
Donna: Let me distract this one. I have picked up a few womanly wiles over the years.
The Doctor: Let’s… save your wiles for later. In case of emergency.
Jenny: So you don’t have a name either. Are you an anomaly too?
The Doctor: No.
Donna: Oh come off it. You’re the most anomalous bloke I’ve ever met.
Jenny: So what do you do?
The Doctor: I travel. Through time and space.
Donna: He saves planets, rescues civilizations, defeats terrible creatures. And runs a lot. Seriously, there’s an outrageous amount of running involved.
Donna about the lasers: That’s not mood lighting, is it? the mouse is sacrificed for the cause. No, I didn’t think so.
Donna: Oh, I know that look. See it a lot ’round our way. Blokes with pushchairs and prams. You’ve got Dad Shock.
The Doctor: Dad Shock?
Donna: Sudden, unexpected fatherhood. Take a bit getting used to.
The Doctor: No it’s not that.
Donna: Well what is it then? Having Jenny in the TARDIS, is that it? What’s she going to do, cramp your style? Like you’ve got a sports car, shes’s going to turn it into a people carrier.
Donna: You talk all the time but you don’t say anything.
The Doctor: When they died that part of me died with them. It’ll never come back. Not now.
Donna: I’ll tell you something, Doctor. Something that I’ve never told you before: I think you’re wrong.
Donna: But listen, I spent six months working as a temp in Hanslow Library and I mastered the Dewey Decimal System in two days flat—I’m good with numbers. It’s staring us in the face.
Jenny: What is?
Donna: It’s the date!
Jenny: What do you mean seven days?
The Doctor: Seven days since war broke out.
Donna: This war started seven days ago. Just a week.
Jenny: A week? They said years.
Donna: No, they said generations.
Donna: How could I ever go back to normal life after seeing this? I’m going to travel with that man forever.
The Unicorn and the Wasp
Donna: Never mind Planet Zog. A party in the 1920s, that’s more like it!
The Doctor: I’m the Doctor. And this is Miss Donna Noble. Of the Chiswick Nobles.
Donna: Good afternoon, my Lady. Topping day, wot? Spiffing! Top ho!
The Doctor: No no, no no. Don’t do that. Don’t.
Lady Eddison: The Unicorn. The jewel thief. And nobody knows who he is. He’s just struck again, snatched Lady Babbington’s pearls right from under her nose.
Donna: Funny place to wear pearls.
Roger Curbishley: All these young boys deserve a decent thrashing!
Davenport: Couldn’t agree more, sir.
Donna: Typical. All the decent men are on the other bus.
The Doctor: Or Time Lord.
Agatha Christie: Agatha Christie.
Donna: What about her?
Agatha Christie: That’s me.
Donna: No! You’re kidding!
Donna: But, the body in the library? I mean, Professor Peach in the library with a lead pipe.
Donna: “The plucky young girl who helps me out.”?
The Doctor: No policewomen in 1926.
Donna: I’ll pluck you in a minute.
Donna: The murderer is an alien.
The Doctor: Which means one of that lot is an alien in human form.
Donna: Yeah, but think about it. There’s a murder, a mystery and Agatha Christie.
The Doctor: So? Happens to me all the time.
Donna: No. But isn’t that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn’t walk around surrounded by murders. Not really. I mean that’s like meeting Charles Dickens and he’s surrounded by ghosts. At Christmas.
The Doctor: Well…
Donna: Next you know, you’ll be telling me it’s like Murder on the Orient Express and they all did it.
Agatha Christie: Murder on the Orient Express?
Donna: Oh yeah. One of your best.
The Doctor: But not yet.
Agatha Christie: Marvelous idea though.
Donna: Yeah. Tell you what, Copyright Donna Noble. Okay?
Donna hearing buzzing: 1926 they’ve still got bees.
Donna: Okay, this makes a change. There’s a monster and we’re chasing it.
Agatha: No matter. The stories are true. I found my husband with another woman. A younger, prettier woman. Isn’t it always the way?
Donna: Well, mine was with a giant spider but same difference.
Donna: That poor footman. Roger’s dead, he can’t even mourn him. 1926, it’s more like the Dark Ages.
Donna: How do you kill a wasp? Drown it. Just like his father.
The Doctor: Donna, that thing couldn’t help itself.
Donna: Neither could I!
The Doctor: She is the best selling novelist of all time.
Donna: But she never knew.
The Doctor: Well no one knows how they’re going to be remembered. All we can do is hope for the best. Maybe that’s what kept her writing. Same thing that keeps me travelling. Onwards?
Donna: Onwards.
Silence in the Library
The Doctor: We’re near the equator, so… checks the wind. This must be biographies! I love biographies!
Donna: Yeah, very you. Always a death at the end.
The Doctor: You need a good death. Without death there’d only be comedies. Dying gives us size. Donna picks up a book Oiya! Spoilers.
Donna: What?
The Doctor: These books are from your future. You don’t want to read ahead, spoil all the surprises. No peeking at the end.
Donna: Isn’t travelling with you one big spoiler?
The Doctor: A million million lifeforms. And silence in the library.
Donna: But there’s no one here. There’s just books. I mean it’s not the books, is it? I mean it can’t be the books, can it? I mean books can’t be alive.
Donna: So we weren’t just in the neighborhood.
The Doctor: Yeah… I kind of, lied a bit. Got a message on the psychic paper. What do you think? Cry for help?
Donna: Cry for help. With a kiss.
Donna: Use your thingy!
The Doctor: I can’t. It’s wood.
Donna: What, it doesn’t do wood?!
Donna: What was that? What was after us? I mean, did we just run away from a power cut?
The Doctor: Possibly?
Donna: Are we safe here?
The Doctor: Of course we’re safe. It’s a little shop.
Donna to one of the Nodes: Excuse, me what does it mean, “others”.
The Doctor: That’s barely more than a Speak Your Weight machine. It can’t help you.
Donna: So why’s it got a face?
River Song: Pretty Boy, with me I said.
The Doctor: Oh, I’m Pretty Boy?
Donna: Yes. Oh, that came out a bit quick.
The Doctor: Pretty?
Donna: Well…
Miss Evangelista: I’m a moron, me. My dad said I have the IQ of plankton, and I was pleased.
Donna: See that’s funny!
Miss Evangelista: No, I really was pleased. Is that funny?
Donna: No… No.
The Doctor: Help her.
Donna: She’s dead.
The Doctor: Yeah. Help her.
River: Donna? You’re Donna, Donna Noble?
Donna: Yeah? Why?
River: I do know the Doctor. But in the future. His personal future.
Donna: So why don’t you know me? Where am I in the future?
Donna: Doctor, the little shop. They always make you go through the little shop on the way out so they can sell you stuff!
The Doctor: You’re right! Brilliant! That’s why I like the little shop!
Node Donna: Donna Noble has left the Library. Donna Noble has been saved.
Forest of the Dead
Dr. Moon: Hello Donna.
Donna: Who are you?
Dr. Moon: I’m Dr. Moon. I’ve been treating you since you came in two years ago.
Donna: Oh god! Dr. Moon! I’m so sorry. What’s wrong with me? I didn’t know you for a moment.
Dr. Moon: And then you remembered.
Dr. Moon: Donna Noble, Lee MacAvoy.
Donna: Oh skip to a vowel there, easy!
Donna: Gorgeous and can’t speak a word. What am I gonna do with you?
Dr. Moon: You’ve done so much in seven years, Donna.
Donna: Sometimes it feels like seventy. Mind you, sometimes it feels like no time at all.
Donna: The Doctor! I saw the Doctor!
Dr. Moon: Yes. You did, Donna. And then you forgot.
Lee: “The world is wrong”.
Donna: What?
Lee: For you. Weird though. “Dear Donna, The world is wrong.”
Donna: Your voice. I recognize it.
Miss Evangelista: Yes you do. I am what is left of Miss Evangelista.
Donna: Sorry, you’re dead.
Miss Evangelista: In a way we’re all dead here Donna. We are the dead of the Library.
Donna: Well what about the children? The children aren’t dead.
Miss Evangelista: Your children were never alive.
Miss Evangelista: Your physical self is stored in the Library as an energy signature. It can be actualized again whenever you or the Library requires.
Donna: The Library? If my face ends up on one of those statues—
Miss Evangelista: You remember the statues?
Donna: Wait no, just— Hang on. This isn’t the real me. This isn’t my body. But I’ve been dieting!
Boy: But Mummy, sometimes when you’re not here, it’s like we’re not here.
Girl: Even when you close your eyes. We just stop.
Donna: Well mummy promises to never close her eyes again.
Donna: I finally got the perfect man. Gorgeous, adores me, and hardly ever speak a word. What’s that say about me?
The Doctor: Everything. Sorry, did I say “everything”? I meant to say nothing. I was aiming for “nothing”. I accidentally said “everything”.
Donna: What about you? You alright?
The Doctor: I’m always alright.
Donna: Your friend, Professor Song. She knew you in the future but she didn’t know me. What happens to me? Because when she learned my name, the way she looked at me—
The Doctor: Donna, this is her diary. My future. I could look you up. What do you think? Shall we peek at the end?
Donna: Spoilers. Right?
The Doctor: Right. he sets the sonic screwdriver on top. C’mon. The next chapter’s this way.
Midnight
Donna: I said, “No!”
The Doctor: Sapphire Waterfalls. It’s a waterfall made of sapphires! This enormous jewel the size of a glacier reaches the Cliffs of Oblivion and then shatters into sapphires at the edge. They fall a hundred thousand feet into a crystal ravine.
Donna: I bet you say that to all the girls.
The Doctor: Oh, c’mon! They’re boarding now. It’s no fun if I see it on me own. Four hours, that’s all it’ll take.
Donna: No, that’s four hours there and four hours back. That’s like a school trip.
The Doctor: Alright. I give up. I’ll be back for dinner and we’ll try that anti-gravity restaurant. With bibs.
Donna: That’s a date. Well not a date. Oh you know what I mean. Oh get off.
The Doctor: See ya later.
Donna: Oy! And you be careful. Alright?
The Doctor: Ah! Taking a big space truck with a bunch of strangers across a diamond planet called Midnight. What could possibly go wrong.
Donna: Can’t imagine you without a voice.
The Doctor: Molto bene.
Donna: Molto bene.
The Doctor: No, don’t do that. Don’t…. Don’t.
Turn Left
Fortune Teller: Tell your fortune, Lady. The future predicted, your life foretold.
Donna: Oh, no thanks.
Fortune Teller: Don’t you want to know. If you’re going to be happy.
Donna: I’m happy right now, thanks.
Sylvia: City executives don’t need temps, except for practice.
Donna: Yeah. Well they haven’t met me.
Fortune Teller: You turned left. But what if you turned right? What then?
Donna: Let go of my hands.
Fortune Teller: What if it changes? What if you go right? What if you could still go right?
Donna: Stop it! What’s on my back? What is it? What’s on my back?!
Fortune Teller: Make the choice again, Donna Noble. And change your mind. Turn right.
Donna: I’m turning…
Fortune Teller: Turn right. Turn right! Turn right! Turn right and never meet that man! Turn right and change the world!
Donna: Why d’you keep looking at my back?
Rose: I’m not.
Donna: Yes you are. You keep looking behind me. You’re doing it now. What is it? What’s there! Did someone put something on my back?!
Donna: You can’t sack me! I’m your personal assistant.
Chowdry: You don’t have to make a scene. Just come downstairs and we can have a little talk.
Donna: Oh I’ll make a scene alright. Right in front of the tribunal. And the first thing I’m going to say is “wandering hands!”
Donna: Hole punch, having that. Stapler, mine. Toy cactus, you can have that, Beatrice. Catch! Cliff, I’d leave you my mouse mat, but I’m worried you’d cut yourself.
Chowdry: Alright, Donna, have some respect. There’s two thousand people in that hospital. And it’s vanished!
Donna: Oh I’ll show you vanishing. Thanks for nothing! Oh, and you know when that money went missing from the kitty? “Anne Marie.” That’s all I’m saying. “Anne Marie”. there’s a loud bang from outside Don’t tell me, the hospital’s back! Well, isn’t that wizard!
TV Reporter: I don’t know how this is possible, but this footage is live and genuine. The object is falling on Central London. I repeat: this is not a hoax. A replica of the Titanic is falling out of the sky and it’s heading for Buckingham Palace. We’re getting this footage from the Guinevere range of satellites.
Donna: Is that a film or something?
TV Reporter: The Royal Air Force has declared an emergen—
Sylvia: It’s gone dead. All of them.
Donna: No, but the Titanic. Oh, don’t be daft. Is that like a sequel?
Wilfred: You’re not gonna make the world any better by shouting at it!
Donna: I can try.
Donna: Well, what d’you keep telling me for? What am I supposed to do? I’m nothing special. I mean, I— I’m not… I’m nothing special. I’m a temp! I’m not even that. I’m nothing.
Rose: Donna Noble, you’re the most important woman in the whole of creation.
Donna: Oh, don’t. Just… don’t. I’m tired. I’m so tired.
Rose: I need you to come with me.
Donna: Yeah. Well. Blonde hair might work on the men, but you ain’t shifting me, Lady.
Rose: That’s more like it.
Donna on seeing the TARDIS interior: No. Way!
Donna: What is it?
Rose: We don’t know.
Donna: Oh. Thanks.
Rose: It feeds off time. By changing time. By making someone’s life take another turn. Like, ah, meetings never made, children never born, a life never loved. But with you it’s…
Donna: But I never did anything important!
Rose: Just remember, when you get to the junction, change the car’s direction by one minute past ten.
Donna: How do I do that?
Rose: It’s up to you.
Donna: Well I just have to… run up to myself and… have a good argument.
Rose: I’d like to see that.
Captain Magambo: Activate Lodestone.
Rose: Good luck.
Donna: I’m ready!
Rose: One minute past ten.
Donna: ‘Cause I understand now. You said I was gonna die, but you mean this whole world, is gonna blink out of existence. But that’s not dying! ‘Cause a better world takes its place. The Doctor’s world! And I’m still alive! That’s right, isn’t it? I don’t die. If I change things, I don’t die. That’s… that’s right, isn’t it?
Rose: I’m sorry.
Donna: But I can’t die! I’ve got a future! With The Doctor! You told me!
Donna before stepping in front of the haulage truck: Please.
Donna: Well that decides it. I’m not sitting in a traffic jam. I’m going left.
Donna: What the hell is that?
Fortune Teller: You were so strong! What are you?! What will you be? What will you be!
The Doctor: Just got lucky, this thing. It’s one of the Trickster’s Brigade. Changes a life in tiny little ways. Most times the universe just compensates around it, but with you… great big parallel world!
Donna: Hold on. You said parallel worlds are sealed off.
The Doctor: They are. But you had one created around you. Funny thing is, seems to be happening a lot. To you.
Donna: How d’you mean?
The Doctor: Well, The Library. Then this.
Donna: Just goes with the job, I suppose.
The Doctor: Sometimes I think there’s way too much coincidence around you, Donna. I met you once. I met your grandfather. Then I met you again. In the whole wide universe, I met you for a second time. It’s like something’s binding us together.
Donna: Don’t be so daft. I’m nothing special.
The Doctor: Yes you are. You’re brilliant.
Rose in alt-world flash: He thought you were brilliant.
Donna: She said that.
The Doctor: Who did?
Donna: That woman. I can’t remember.
The Doctor: Well, she never existed, now.
Donna: No, but she said… the stars. She said the stars are going out.
The Doctor: Yeah, but that world’s gone.
Donna: No, but she said it was all worlds. Every world. She said the Darkness is coming. Even here.
The Doctor: Who was she?
Donna: I don’t know.
The Doctor: What did she look like?
Donna: She was… blonde.
The Doctor: What was her name?
Donna: I don’t know.
The Doctor: Donna, what was her name?
Donna: But she told me to warn you. She said two words.
The Doctor: What two words? What were they? What did she say?
Donna: “Bad Wolf.” What does it mean? Doctor, what is it? What’s “Bad Wolf”?
The Doctor: It’s the end of the universe.
The Stolen Earth
The Doctor: It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Nothing’s wrong. It’s fine. Excuse me, what day is it?
Milk Man: Saturday.
The Doctor: Saturday! Good! Good. I like Saturdays.
Donna: So. I just met Rose Tyler.
The Doctor: Yeah.
Donna: But she’s locked away in a parallel world.
The Doctor: Exactly. If she can cross from her parallel world to your parallel world then that means the walls of the universe are breaking down. Which puts everything in danger. Everything. But how?
Donna: Thing is, Doctor, no matter what’s happening—and I’m sure it’s bad. I get that. But, Rose is coming back. Isn’t that good?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Donna: But if the Earth’s been moved, they’ve lost the sun. What about my mum? And Granddad? They’re dead. Are they, are they dead?
The Doctor: I don’t know, Donna. I just don’t know. I’m sorry, I don’t know.
Donna: That’s my family. My whole world.
Donna: So what do we do?
The Doctor: We’ve got to get help.
Donna: From where?
The Doctor: Donna, I’m taking you to Shadow Proclamation. Hold tight.
Donna: So go on then, what is this Shadow Proclamation anyway?
The Doctor: Posh name for the police. Outer space police.
Shadow Architect: All different sizes. Some populated, some not. But all unconnected.
Donna: What about Pyrovillia?
Shadow Architect: Who is the female?
Donna: Donna. I’m a human being. Maybe not the stuff of legend but every bit as important as Time Lords, thank you. Way back, when we were in Pompeii, Lucius said Pyrovillia had gone missing.
Judoon Leader: Pyrovillia is cold case. Not relevant!
Donna: How d’you mean, “cold case”?
Shadow Architect: The planet Pyrovillia cannot be part of this. It disappeared over 2,000 years ago.
Donna: Yes, yes. Hang on. But there’s the Adipose Breeding Planet too. Miss Foster said that was lost. But that must’ve been a long time ago.
The Doctor: That’s it! Donna, brilliant! Planets are being taken out of time as well as space.
Servant: There was something on your back.
Donna: How’d you know that?
Servant: You are something new.
Donna: Not me. I’m just a temp. Shorthand, filing, hundred words per minute. Fat lot of good that is now. I’m no use for anyone.
Servant: I’m so sorry for your loss.
Donna: Yeah. My whole planet’s gone.
Servant: I mean the loss that is yet to come. God save you!
The Doctor: Donna, c’mon think! Earth. There must have been some sort of warning. Was anything happening back in your day? Like electrical storms, freak weather, patterns in the sky?
Donna: Well how should I know? Um… no. I don’t think so, no.
The Doctor: Okay, never mind.
Donna: Although… there were the bees disappearing.
The Doctor: “The bees disappearing”? The bees disappearing. The bees disappearing!
Shadow Architect: How is that significant?
Donna: On Earth we have these insects. Some people said it was pollution or mobile phones.
The Doctor: Or they were going back home.
Donna: Back home where?
The Doctor: Planet Melissa Majoria.
Donna: Are you saying bees are aliens?
The Doctor: Don’t be so daft! Not all of them.
The Doctor: I came here when I was just a kid. Ninety years old. It was the center of a rift in time and space.
Donna: So where are the twenty-seven planets?
The Doctor: Nowhere. Tandocca Trail stops dead. End of the line.
Donna: So what do we do? Doctor, what do we do? Don’t do this to me! No, don’t. Don’t do this to me. Not now. Tell me, what are we going to do. You never give up! Please!
The Doctor: Phone!
Donna: Doctor, phone!
The Doctor: Martha, is that you? Signal!
Donna: Can we follow it?
The Doctor: Oo! Just watch me!
The Doctor: Sarah Jane! Who’s that boy? That must be Torchwood. Oh, they’re brilliant! Look at you, all you clever people.
Donna: That’s Martha! And who’s he?
The Doctor: Captain Jack. Don’t… Just… don’t.
Rose: Doctor, it’s me. I came back.
Donna: It’s like an outer space Facebook.
The Doctor: Everybody except Rose.
The Doctor: Think, Donna. When you met Rose in that parallel world, what did she say?
Donna: Just… “the darkness is coming”.
The Doctor: Anything else?
Donna: Why don’t you ask her yourself.
Jack: Rose, do as I say and get back. He’s dying, and you know what happens next.
Donna: What d’you mean?
Rose: Not now. I came all this way.
Donna: What d’you mean? What happens next?
Jack: It’s starting.
Journey’s End
Donna to Jack: You can hug me if you want. Jack laughs. No really. You can hug me.
Jack: There’s a massive Dalek ship at the center of the planets. They’re calling it The Crucible. I guess that’s our destination.
Donna: You said these planets are like an engine. But what for?
The Doctor: Rose, you’ve been in a parallel world. You’ve seen the future. What was it?
Rose: It’s the Darkness.
Donna: The stars were going out.
Rose: One by one. They were just dying. Basically we’ve been building this, um, travel machine. This, uh, dimension cannon so I could, uh, so I—
The Doctor: What?
Rose: So I could come back. Shut up. Anyway suddenly it started to work. And the dimension started to collapse. And not just in our world, not just in yours, but the whole of reality. Even the void was dead. Something is destroying everything.
Donna: In that parallel world, you said something about me.
Rose: The dimension could measure timelines. And it’s weird, Donna, but they all seem to converge on you.
Donna: But why me? I mean, what have I ever done? I’m a temp from Chiswick.
Donna: It’s you.
The Doctor: Oh yes!
Donna: You’re naked.
The Doctor: Oh yes.
The Human/Doctor: All repaired. Lovely. Shhhh! No one knows we’re here. Gotta keep quiet. Silent running. Like on submarines where they can’t even drop a spanner. Don’t drop a spanner. I like blue. What d’you think?
Donna: You. Are. Bonkers!
The Human/Doctor: Why? What’s wrong with blue?
Donna: Is that what Time Lords do? Lop a bit off, grow another one? You’re like worms!
The Human/Doctor: No no no no. I’m unique. Never been another like me. ‘Cause all that regeneration energy went into the hand. Look at my hand! I love the hand. But then you touched it— WHAM! Shhhhh!! Instantaneous biological metacrisis. I grew out of you. Still. Could be worse.
Donna: Oy! Watch it, Spaceman!
The Human/Doctor: Oy! Watch it, Earthgirl! surprised I sound like you. I sound all… all sort of… rough.
Donna: Oy!
The Human/Doctor: Oy!
Donna: Oy!
The Human/Doctor: Oy! Spanners! Shhhhh. Must’ve picked up a bit of your voice that’s all. Is it— Did I— No. You are kidding me. No way. One heart. I got one heart. This body’s got only one heart.
Donna: What, like you’re human?
The Human/Doctor: Ahh, that’s disgusting.
Donna: Oy!
The Human/Doctor: Oiii!
Donna: Stop it!
The Human/Doctor: No, wait I’m…. part-Time Lord, part-human. Well isn’t that wizard.
Donna: I kept hearing that noise. That heartbeat.
The Human/Doctor: Oh that was me. My single heart. ‘Cause I’m a complicated man of time and space. Must’ve rippled back. Converging on you.
Donna: But why me?
The Human/Doctor: ‘Cause you’re special.
Donna: I keep telling you, I’m not.
The Human/Doctor: No but you are. Oh…. you really don’t believe that, do you? I can see, Donna, what you’re thinking. All that attitude, all that lip— ‘Cause all this time, you think you’re not worth it.
Donna: Stop it.
The Human/Doctor: Shouting at the world ’cause no one’s listening. Well, why should they.
Donna: Doctor. Stop it.
The Human/Doctor: But look at what you did! No…. it’s more than that. It’s like… we were always heading for this. You came to the TARDIS. And you found me again. Your Wilfred, your car. Donna, your car! You parked your car right where the TARDIS was going to land. Oh! We’ve been blind. Something’s been drawing us together for such a long time.
Donna: But you’re talking, like, destiny. There’s no such thing. Is there?
The Human/Doctor: It’s still not finished. It’s like… the pattern’s not complete. The strands are still drawing together. But heading for what?
Donna: Mmm. Closing all zed neutrino relay loops using an internalized synchronous back feed reversal loop. flips open a panel. That button there.
The Doctor: Donna, you can’t even change a plug.
Donna: Do you wanna bet, Time Boy.
Davros: You’ll suffer for this.
Donna: Oohhh. Bio electric dampening field with a retrogressive arc inversion.
Davros: Exterminate her!
Daleks: Exterminate! Exterminate! Weapons nonfunctional!
Donna: Wha? Macro transmission of a k-field wavelength blocking Dalek weaponry in a self-replicating semi-bifold matrix?
The Doctor: How did you work that out? You’re—
The Human/Doctor: Time Lord. Part-Time Lord.
Donna: Part human. Oh yes. That was a two-way biological metacrisis. Half-Doctor Half-Donna.
The Doctor: The Doctor Donna! Just like the Ood said. Remember? They saw it coming. The Doctor Donna.
Donna: Well, don’t just stand there you skinny boys in suits! Get to work!
Donna: Did I ever tell ya? Best temp in Chiswick. Hundreds words per minute.
The Human/Doctor: Ha!
Donna: I thought we’d try the planet Fellspoon. Just ’cause. What a good name. “Fellspoon.” Apparently it’s got mountains that sway in the breeze. Mountains that move. Can you imagine.
The Doctor: And how do you know that.
Donna: Because it’s in your head. And if it’s in your head, it’s in mine.
The Doctor: And how does that feel.
Donna: Brilliant! Fantastic! Molto bene! Great big universe packed into my brain. You know you could fix that Chameleon circuit if you just tried hotwiring it into the fragment-links and superceding the binary— binary— binary— binary— binary— binary— … I’m fine! Nah! Never mind Fellspoon. You know who I’d love to meet? Charlie Chaplin. I bet he’s great, Charlie Chaplin. Should we do that? Should we go see Charlie Chaplin? Charlie Chaplin Charlie Chester Charlie Brown. No, he’s fiction friction fiction fixing mixing rixon Brixton. Oh my god!
The Doctor: Do you know what’s happening?
Donna: Yeah.
The Doctor: There’s never been a human-Time Lord metacrisis before now. And you know why.
Donna: Because there can’t be. I want to stay.
The Doctor: Look at me. Donna, look at me!
Donna: I was gonna be with you. Forever.
The Doctor: I know.
Donna: Rest of my life. Traveling. In the TARDIS. The Doctor Donna. Oh, my, I can’t go back. Don’t make me go back. Doctor, please! Please don’t make me go back.
The Doctor: Donna. Oh, Donna Noble. I am so sorry. But we had the best of times. The best. Goodbye.
Donna: No! No! Please! No!