Partners in Crime
The Doctor to the film projectionist: Health and Safety… Film Department.
The Doctor: What’s that for?
Phone Bank Woman: My telephone number. Health and Safety. You be health, I’ll be safety.
The Doctor: Ah.. ah, but that contravenes, um, Paragraph 5 subsection C.
The Doctor: Tell me Roger, have you got a cat flap?
Roger: It was here when I bought the house. I never bothered with it really. I’m not a cat person.
The Doctor: No I’ve met cat people. You’re nothing like them.
Roger: Is that what it is then? Cats getting inside the house?
The Doctor: Well, thing about cat flaps is, they don’t just let things in, they let things out as well.
Roger: Like what?
The Doctor: “The fat just walks away.”
The Doctor: Oh. Fascinating! It seems to be a bio-flip digital switch specifically for—
In a series of hand gestures and mouthing of words:
The Doctor: Donna?
Donna: Doctor!
The Doctor: What are, what are you—?
Donna: Oh. My. God!
The Doctor: How?
Donna: It’s me!
The Doctor: I can see that.
Donna: Oh this is brilliant!
The Doctor: What the hell are you doing there?
Donna: I was looking for you!
The Doctor: What for?
Donna: I read it on the internet … it’s weird… crept along… heard them talking… looked… It’s you! Th—
Miss Foster: Are we interrupting you?
The Doctor: Run!
Donna: Oh my god. I don’t believe it! You’ve even got the same suit! Don’t you ever change?
The Doctor: Yeah, thanks Donna. Not right now.
Penny: Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on?
The Doctor: What are you a journalist?
Penny: Yes!
The Doctor: Then make it up.
The Doctor: Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. One more thing… before dying. Do you know what happens if you hold two identical sonic devices against each other?
Miss Foster: No.
The Doctor: Nor me. Let’s find out!
Donna: I must have been mad to turn down that offer.
The Doctor: What offer?
Donna: To come with you.
The Doctor: Come with me?
Donna: Oh yes, please!
The Doctor: Right.
Donna: What are you going to do then? Blow them up?
The Doctor: They’re just children. They can’t help where they came from.
Donna: Oh, well that makes a change from last time. That Martha must have done you good.
The Doctor: Yeah, she did.
Donna: I’m waving at fat.
The Doctor: Actually as a diet plan it sort of works.
Donna: You’re not saying much.
The Doctor: No, it’s just— It’s a funny old life. In the TARDIS.
Donna: You don’t want me.
The Doctor: I’m not saying that.
Donna: But you asked me. would you rather be on your own?
The Doctor: No. actually no. But. The last time, with Martha—like I said, it got, it got complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.
Donna: You just want to mate?!
The Fires of Pompeii
Donna: Hold on a minute. That sign over there’s in English. Are you having me on? Are we in Epcot?
The Doctor: No no no. That’s the TARDIS translation circuits. It just makes it look like English. Speech as well. You’re talking Latin right now.
Donna: Seriously? I just said “seriously” in Latin.
The Doctor: Oh yeah.
Donna: What if I said something in actual Latin? Like “Veni, vidi, vici.” My Dad said that when he came back from football. If I said “veni, vidi, vici” to that lot, what would it sound like?
The Doctor: I’m not sure. You have to think of difficult questions, don’t you?
Donna: I’m gonna try it.
Seller: Afternoon, sweetheart. What can I get you, my love?
Donna: Um, veni, vidi, vici.
Seller: Huh? Sorry? Me no speak Celtic. No can do, missy.
Donna: Yeah. What does he mean, ‘Celtic’?
The Doctor: Welsh. You sound Welsh. There we are. Learned something.
Donna: Don’t my clothes look a bit odd?
The Doctor: Nah! Ancient Rome, anything goes. Like SoHo. But bigger.
Donna: Have you been here before, then?
The Doctor: Ages ago. Before you ask, that fire had nothing to do with me. Well a little bit.
Donna: Wait a minute. One mountain. With smoke. Which makes this—
The Doctor: Pompeii. We’re in Pompeii. And it’s Volcano Day.
Donna: You’re kidding. You’re not telling me the TARDIS is gone.
The Doctor: Okay.
Donna: Where is it?
The Doctor: You told me not to tell you.
Donna: Oy. Don’t get clever in Latin.
The Doctor: You must excuse my friend. She’s from… Barcelona.
The Doctor: Consuming the vapors, you say.
Evelina: They give me strength.
The Doctor: It doesn’t look like it to me.
Evelina: Is that your opinion. As a doctor?
The Doctor: I beg your pardon.
Lucius: Doctor, she is returning.
The Doctor: Who’s “she”?
The Doctor: No sign of him. Nice little bit of allons-y.
Metella: Doctor, or whatever your name is, you bring bad luck on this house.
The Doctor: I thought your son was brilliant. Aren’t you gonna thank him?
Spurrina: No man is allowed to enter the Temple of Sibyl!
The Doctor: Oh that’s alright. Just us girls.
Donna: They’re stone.
The Doctor: Exactly. The people of Pompeii are turning to stone before the volcano erupts. But why?
Spurrina: Sisters, I see into his mind! The weapon is harmless!
The Doctor: Well, yeah, But it’s got a sting.
The Doctor: Somethings are fixed, somethings are in flux. Pompeii is fixed.
Donna: How do you know which is which?
The Doctor: Because that’s how I see the Universe. Every waking second I can see what is, what was, what could be, what must not. That’s the burden of the Time Lord, Donna. And I’m the only one left.
The Doctor: But… that’s the choice, Donna. It’s Pompeii or the world.
Donna: Oh, my God.
The Doctor: If Pompeii is destroyed then it’s not just history. It’s me. I make it happen.
The Doctor: It’s never forgotten, Caecilius. Oh, time will pass. Men will move on, and stories will fade. But one day, Pompeii will be found, again. In thousands of years. And everyone will remember you.
The Doctor: You were right. Sometimes I need someone. Welcome aboard.
Donna: Yeah.
Planet of the Ood
The Doctor: Set the controls to random. Mystery tour! Outside that door could be any planet, anywhere, anywhen, in the whole wide— Are you all right?
The Doctor: Snow! Ah, real snow. Proper snow at last!
The Doctor: His eyes turned red.
Donna: What’s that mean?
The Doctor: Trouble.
The Doctor: The Ood are harmless. They’re completely benign. Except the last time I met them there was this force, like a stronger mind. Powerful enough to take them over.
Donna: What sort of force?
The Doctor: Long story.
Donna: Long walk.
The Doctor: It was the Devil.
The Doctor: The year 4126. That is the second great and bountiful human Empire.
The Doctor: Last time I met the Ood I never thought— Never asked.
Donna: That’s not like you.
The Doctor: I was busy. So busy I couldn’t save them. I had to let the Ood die. I reckon I owe them one.
Donna: A great big empire, built on slavery.
The Doctor: It’s not so different from your time.
Donna: Oy, I haven’t got slaves.
The Doctor: Who d’you think made your clothes?
Donna: Is that why you travel ’round with a human at your side? It’s not so you can show them the wonders of the universe, it’s so you can take cheap shots?
The Doctor: Sorry.
Donna: Don’t. Spaceman.
The Doctor: It’s a brain. A hind brain. The Ood are born with a secondary brain. Like the amygdala in humans, it processes memory and emotions. You get rid of that, you wouldn’t be Donna any more. You’d be like an Ood, a processed Ood.
The Doctor: Funny thing, the subconscious. Takes all sorts of shapes. It came out in the red-eye as revenge. Came out in the rabid Ood as anger. And then there was patience. All that intelligence and mercy focused on Ood Sigma. How’s the hair loss, Mr Halpen?
Mr. Halpen: What have you done?
The Doctor: Oh, they’ve been preparing you for a very long time. And now you’re standing next to the Ood Brain. Mr Halpen, can you hear it? Listen!
Mr. Halpen: What have you… I’m… No…
Donna: They… They turned him into an Ood?
The Doctor: Yup.
Donna: He’s an Ood.
The Doctor: I noticed.
Donna: It’s weird, being with you, I can’t tell what’s right and what’s wrong any more.
The Doctor: It’s better that way. People who know for certain tend to be like Mr. Halpen.
The Doctor: The message has gone out. That song resonated across the galaxies, everyone heard it. Everyone knows. The rockets are bringing them back. The Ood are coming home.
Ood Sigma: We thank you, Doctor Donna. Friends of Oodkind. And what of you now? Will you stay? There is room in the song for you.
The Doctor: Oh, I’ve… sort of got a song of my own, thanks.
Ood Sigma: I think your song must end soon.
The Doctor: Meaning?
Ood Sigma: Every song must end.
The Doctor: We’ll be off.
Ood Sigma: Take this song with you.
The Doctor: We will.
Donna: Always.
Ood Sigma: And know this, Doctor Donna. You will never be forgotten. Our children will sing of the Doctor Donna. And our children’s children. And the wind and the ice and the snow will carry your names forever.
The Sontaran Strategem
Donna: I can’t believe I’m doing this!
The Doctor: No, neither can I. Oh oh, careful! Left hand down, left hand down! Getting a bit too close to the 1980s.
Donna: What am I going to do, put a dent in ’em?
The Doctor: Well someone did.
The Doctor: Martha, Donna. Donna, Martha. Please, don’t fight. I can’t bear fighting.
Donna: You wish. I’ve heard all about you. He talks about you all the time.
Martha: I dread to think.
Donna: No no, he says nice things. Good things. Nice things. Really good things.
Martha: Oh my god, he’s told you everything.
Donna: Didn’t take long to get over it, though. Who’s the lucky man?
The Doctor: What man? Lucky what?
Donna: She’s engaged, you prawn.
Donna: He is too skinny for words. You give him a hug, you get a papercut.
The Doctor: Oh, I’d rather you were fighting.
Donna: What, you used to work for them?
The Doctor: Yeah, long time ago. Back in the seventies. Or was it the eighties? But it was all a bit more home spun back then.
The Doctor: I said no salutes.
Colonel Mace: Now you’re giving orders.
The Doctor: Oh, you’re getting a bit cheeky aren’t you?
The Doctor: Oh, just in time! C’mon, we’re going to the country. Fresh air and geniuses. What more could you ask.
Donna: I’m not coming with you. I’ve been thinking. I’m sorry. I’m going home.
The Doctor: Really?
Donna: I’ve got to.
The Doctor: Well. If that’s what you want. Only. It’s a bit soon. I had so many places I wanted to take you. The fifteenth broken moon of the Medusa Cascade. The lightning skies of Cotter Palluni’s World. Diamond coral reefs of Kataa Flo Ko. Thank you. Thank you, Donna Noble. It’s been brilliant. You’ve… you’ve saved my life in so many ways. You’re— you’re just popping home for a visit, that’s what you mean.
Donna: You dumbo.
The Doctor: And then you’re coming back.
Donna: Know what you are? A great big, outer space dunce.
The Doctor: Yeah.
The Doctor: This is PE? Wouldn’t mind a kick around. I’ve got my daps on.
Luke: I suppose you’re the Doctor.
The Doctor: Hello.
Luke: Your commanding officer phoned ahead.
The Doctor: Ah, but I haven’t got a commanding officer. Have you?
The Doctor: With all this technology you could, oh, I don’t know. Move to another planet.
Luke: If only that was possible.
The Doctor: “If only that ‘were’ possible.” Conditional clause.
Luke: You’re smarter than the usual UNIT grunt, I’ll give you that.
The Doctor: He called you a grunt! Don’t call Ross a grunt. He’s nice. We like Ross.
The Doctor: I was just thinking. What a responsible 18-year-old. Inventing zero carbon cars. Savin’ the world…
Luke: It takes a man with vision.
The Doctor: Mm. Blinkered vision. ‘Cause Atmos means more people driving. More cars, more petrol. End result the oil’s gonna run out faster than ever. The Atmos system could make things worse.
Luke: Yeah, well see. That’s a tautology. You can’t say Atmos system. ‘Cause it stands for Atmospheric Emission System. So you can say “Atmospheric Emission System System.” Do you see, Mr. Conditional Clause?
The Doctor: It’s been a long time since anyone’s said “no” to you, isn’t it?
The Doctor: Just looked like a “thing,” didn’t it? People don’t question “things”. They just say, “oo… it’s a thing.”
The Doctor: This isn’t typical Sontaran behavior, is it? Hiding, using teenagers, stopping bullets. A Sontaran should face bullets. With dignity. Shame on you!
The Doctor: And your name?
General Staal: General Staal. Of the Tenth Sontaran Fleet. Staal The Undefeated.
The Doctor: Ah, that’s not a very good nickname. What if you do get defeated? “Staal the Not-Quite-So-Undefeated Anymore But Nevermind.”
Ross: It’s like a potato. A baked potato. A talking baked potato.
The Doctor: Now, Ross. Don’t be rude. You look like a pink weasel to him.
The Doctor: With only one weakness.
General Staal: Sontarans have no weakness!
The Doctor: No, it’s a good weakness.
Luke: Oh, you’re meant to be clever. Only an idiot would provoke him.
The Doctor: No, the Sontarans are fed by probic vent in the back of their neck. That’s their weak spot. Which means they always have to face their enemies in battle. Isn’t that brilliant? They can never turn their back.
General Staal: We stare into the face of death!
The Doctor: Yeah? Well stare at this.
The Doctor: Try going right.
Ross: It said left.
The Doctor: I know. So go right.
The Doctor: Get down! the Atmos sparks a few times and dies. Oh, is that it?
Wilfred Mott: Wilf, sir, Wilfred Mott. You must be one of them aliens.
The Doctor: Yeah, but don’t shout it out.
The Poison Sky
The Doctor: Oh, I’ve never given you a key. Keep that. Go on, that’s yours. Quite a big moment really.
Donna: Yeah. Maybe we can get sentimental after the world’s finished choking to death.
The Doctor: Good idea.
The Doctor: I’m stuck. On Earth, like… Like an ordinary person. Like a human. How rubbish is that? Sorry, no offense but come on!
Martha: So what do we do?
The Doctor: Well. I mean it’s shielded. They could never detect it. pauses
Martha: What?
The Doctor: I was just wondering, have you phoned your family and Tom?
Martha: No. What for?
The Doctor: The gas. Tell them to stay inside.
Martha: Of course… I will, yeah. But what about Donna? I mean, where’s she?
The Doctor: Oh… she’s gone home. She’s not like you. She’s not a soldier. Right! So. Avanti!
The Doctor: Change of plan!
Colonel Mace: Good to have you fighting alongside us, Doctor.
The Doctor: I’m not fighting. I’m not-fighting, as in not-hyphen-fighting. Got it?
Colonel Mace: My god. They’re like trolls.
The Doctor: Yeah… Loving the diplomacy, thanks. So tell me, General Staal, since when did you lot become cowards?
Staal: How dare you!
Colonel Mace: Oh, that’s diplomacy?
Staal: Doctor, you impugn my honor!
The Doctor: Yeah, I’m really glad you didn’t say “belittle” ’cause then I’d have a field day.
The Doctor: Fifty thousand years of bloodshed. And for what?
Staal: For victory!
The Doctor: Finished?
Staal: You will not be so quick to ridicule when you see our prize. Behold! We are the first Sontarans in history to capture a TARDIS.
The Doctor: Well. As prizes go that’s… noble. As they say in Latin, Dona nobis pacem.
Donna: That’s me. I’m here!
The Doctor: Big mistake though, showing it to me.
Donna: But who do I phone?
The Doctor: Because I’ve got a remote control.
Staal: Cease transmission!
Donna: Doctor, what number are you on? You haven’t even got a number!
Colonel Mace: Well. That achieved nothing.
The Doctor: Oh, you’d be surprised.
The Doctor: Missiles wouldn’t even dent that ship. So why are the Sontarans so keen to stop you. Any ideas?
Martha: How should I know?
The Doctor: He wasn’t Greyhound 40. His name was Ross. Now listen to me. And get them out of there!!
The Doctor: Times like this I could do with the Brigadier. No offense.
Colonel Mace: None taken. Sir Alastair is a fine man if not the best. Unfortunately he’s stranded in Peru.
Donna: What’s happened? Where are you?
The Doctor: Still on Earth. But don’t worry, I’ve got my secret weapon.
Donna: What’s that?
The Doctor: You.
Donna: Somehow that’s not making me happy.
Donna: But he’s going to kill me.
The Doctor: I’m sorry. I swear, I’m so sorry. But you’ve got to try.
The Doctor: Should be a switch by the side.
Donna: Yeah there is. But it’s Sontaran-shaped. You need three fingers.
The Doctor: You’ve got three fingers.
Martha: You’re not going without me.
The Doctor: Wouldn’t dream of it.
Colonel Mace: Latest firing stock. What do you think, Doctor?
The Doctor wearing a gas mask: Are you my mummy?
The Doctor: That’s brilliant!
Colonel Mace: Getting a taste for it, Doctor?
The Doctor: No, not at all. Not me.
The Doctor: Am I supposed to be impressed?
Martha: Wish you carried a gun now?
The Doctor: Not at all.
Martha: I’ve been stopping the nuclear launch all this time.
The Doctor: Doing exactly what I wanted. I needed to stop the missiles just as much as the Sontarans. I’m not having Earth start an interstellar war. You’re a triple agent!
Martha: When did you know?
The Doctor: About you? Oh, right from the start. Reduced iris contraction, slight thinning of the hair follicles on the left temple. And frankly you smell. You might as well have worn a t-shirt saying “clone”. Although, maybe not in front of Captain Jack. You remember him, don’t you? ‘Cause you’ve got all her memories. That’s why the Sontarans had to protect her. To keep you inside UNIT. Martha Jones is keeping you alive.
The Doctor: Here we go, the old team back together. Well, the new team.
Luke: He’s a genius.
Martha: Just brilliant.
The Doctor: Now we’re in trouble.
The Doctor: Right, so. Donna, thank you. For everything. Martha, you too. Oh… so many times. Luke, do something clever with your life.
Donna: You’re saying goodbye.
The Doctor: Sontarans are never defeated. They’ll be getting ready for war. And, well, you know… I’ve recalibrated this for Sontaran air, so…
Martha: You’re going to ignite them.
Donna: And kill yourself.
Martha: Just send that thing up, on its own. I don’t know. Put it on a delay.
The Doctor: I can’t.
Donna: Why not?
The Doctor: I’ve got to give them a choice.
The Doctor’s Daughter
The Doctor: I don’t know where we’re going, but my old hand’s rather excited about it.
Donna: I thought that was just some freaky alien thing. You telling me it’s yours?
The Doctor: Well.
Martha: It got cut off—he grew a new one.
Donna: You are completely impossible.
The Doctor: Not impossible. Just… a bit unlikely.
Martha: Where did she come from?
The Doctor: From me.
Donna: From you? How? Who is she?
The Doctor: Well she’s… well. She’s my daughter.
Jenny: Hello Dad.
Donna: Not what you’d call a natural parent, are you?
The Doctor: They stole a tissue sample at gunpoint and processed it. It’s not what I’d call natural parenting.
Donna: Rubbish. My friend Nerys fathered twins using a turkey baster. Didn’t bother her.
The Doctor: Don’t extrapolate a relationship from a biological accident.
Cobb: Well said, soldier. We need more like you. If ever we’re to find the Source.
The Doctor: Oo! “Source”. What’s that, then? What’s the Source? I like a Source. What is it?
Cobb: The breath of life.
The Doctor: Call me old fashioned but if you really wanted peace couldn’t you just stop fighting?
Cobb: Only when we have the Source. It’ll give us the power to erase every stinking Hath from the face of this planet.
The Doctor: Hang on, hang on. A second ago it was “peace in our time”. Now you’re talking about genocide.
Cobb: For us, that means the same thing.
The Doctor: Then you need to get yourself a better dictionary. When you do, look up genocide. You’ll see a little picture of me there, and the caption will read, “Over my dead body!”.
The Doctor: I’m going to stop you, Cobb. You need to know that.
Cobb: I have an army and the breath of God on me. What’ll you have?
The Doctor pointing to his brain: This.
The Doctor: You’re an echo. That’s all. A Time Lord is so much more. A sum of knowledge, a code, a shared history. A shared suffering. Only it’s gone now, all of it. Gone forever.
Jenny: What happened?
The Doctor: There was a war.
Donna: Let me distract this one. I have picked up a few womanly wiles over the years.
The Doctor: Let’s… save your wiles for later. In case of emergency.
Jenny: Always thinking, both of you. Who are you people?
The Doctor: I told you, I’m the Doctor.
Jenny: The Doctor. That’s it?
Donna: That’s all he ever says.
The Doctor: Donna, I’ve been a father before.
Donna: What?
The Doctor: Lost all that long time ago. Along with everything else.
Donna: I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me? You talk all the time but you don’t say anything.
The Doctor: I know. When I look at her now I can see them. The hole they left, all the pain that filled it. I just don’t think I can face that every day.
Donna: It won’t stay like that. She’ll help you. We both will.
The Doctor: When they died that part of me died with them. It’ll never come back. Not now.
Donna: I’ll tell you something, Doctor. Something that I’ve never told you before: I think you’re wrong.
Jenny: Oh, that was close.
The Doctor: It’d be no fun otherwise.
The Doctor: They’ve mythologized their entire history.
The Doctor: Your whole history, it’s just Chinese whispers. Getting more distorted the more it’s passed on.
The Doctor: Jenny, be strong now. You need to hold on, you hear me? We’ve got things to do, you and me. Hey! Hey! We can go anywhere, everywhere. You choose.
Jenny: That sounds good.
The Doctor: You’re my daughter, and we’ve only just got started. You’re going to be great. You’re going to be more than great. You’re going to be amazing.
The Doctor: Two hearts. Two hearts like me. If we wait, we just wait.
Martha: There’s no sign, Doctor. There’s no regeneration. She’s like you, but…. maybe not enough.
The Doctor: No. Too much. That’s the truth of it. She was too much like me.
The Doctor to Cobb: I never would. Have you got that? I never would. to all: When you start this new world—this world of Human and Hath—remember that. Make the foundation of this society “a man who never would”.
The Doctor: Jenny was the reason for the TARDIS bringing us here. It just got here too soon. We then created Jenny in the first place. Paradox. An endless paradox.
Martha: All right, Doctor.
The Doctor: Goodbye. Doctor Jones.
The Unicorn and the Wasp
Donna: Never mind Planet Zog. A party in the 1920s, that’s more like it!
The Doctor: Trouble is, we haven’t been invited. {pulls out the slightly telepathic paper.} Oh I forgot! Yes we have.
The Doctor: Lady Eddison!
Lady Eddison (Felicity Kendal): Forgive me, but who exactly might you be? And, what are you doing here?
The Doctor: I’m the Doctor. And this is Miss Donna Noble. Of the Chiswick Nobles.
Donna: Good afternoon, my Lady. Topping day, wot? Spiffing! Top ho!
The Doctor: No no, no no. Don’t do that. Don’t.
The Doctor: Agatha Christie! I was just talking about you the other day. I said, I bet she’s brilliant. I’m the Doctor, this is Donna. Oh, I love your stuff. What a mind! You fool me every time. Well, almost every time. Well, once or twice. Well, once. But it was a good one.
The Doctor: Look at the date on this newspaper.
Donna: What about it?
The Doctor: It’s the day Agatha Christie disappeared.
The Doctor: She’d just discovered her husband was having an affair.
Donna: You’d never think to look at her. Smiling away.
The Doctor: Well, she’s British and monied. That’s what they do. They carry on. Except for this one time. No one knows exactly what happened, she just vanished. Her car will be found tomorrow morning by the side of a lake. Ten days later, Agatha Christie turns up at a hotel in Harrogate. Said she’d lost her memory. She never spoke about her disappearance ’til the day she died. But whatever it was—
Donna: It’s about to happen.
The Doctor: Right here, right now.
Agatha: Someone should call the police.
The Doctor: We don’t have to. Chief Inspector Smith from Scotland Yard. Known as The Doctor. Miss Noble is the plucky young girl that helps me out.
Donna: Yeah, but think about it. There’s a murder, a mystery and Agatha Christie.
The Doctor: So? Happens to me all the time.
Donna: No. But isn’t that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn’t walk around surrounded by murders. Not really. I mean that’s like meeting Charles Dickens and he’s surrounded by ghosts. At Christmas.
The Doctor: Well…
Agatha: The secret adversary remains hidden. We must look for a motive. Use “ze little grey cells.”
The Doctor: Oh yes. “Little grey cells.” Good ‘ol Poirot.
You know, I’ve been to Belgium. Yeah. I remember. I was deep in the Ardennes, trying to find Charlemagne. He’d been kidnapped by an insane computer…
Christie trying to snap him out of it: Doctor, Doctor.
The Doctor: Sorry.
Christie: Charlemagne lived centuries ago.
The Doctor: I’ve got a good memory.
Christie: For such an experienced detective you missed a big clue.
The Doctor: What, that bit of paper you nicked out of the fire?
Christie: You were looking the other way.
The Doctor: Yeah, but I saw you reflected in the glass of the bookcase.
Christie: You crafty man.
Christie: Can we return to sanity? There are no such things as giant wasps.
The Doctor: Exactly! So. The question is. What’s it doing here?
The Doctor: There’s nowhere to run. Show yourself! {everyone pops out of their room.} Oh… that’s just cheating.
The Doctor: I need something salty.
Donna: What about this? Here.
The Doctor: What is it?
Donna: Salt.
The Doctor: Oh that’s too salty.
The Doctor: Detox. I must do that more often! I mean the, the detox.
The Doctor: A terrible day for all of us. The professor struck down, Miss Chandrakala cruelly taken from us. And yet we still take dinner.
Lady Eddison: We are British, Doctor. What else must we do.
The Doctor: And then someone tried to poison me. Any one of you had the chance to put cyanide in my drink. But it rather gave me an idea.
Reverend Golightly: And what would that be?
The Doctor: Well. Poison. Drink up. I’ve laced the soup with pepper.
Colonel Hugh: Oh. I thought it was jolly spicy.
The Doctor: Plenty of people write detective stories, but yours are the best. Why? Why are you so good, Agatha Christie? Because you understand. You’ve lived. You’ve fallen, you’ve had your heart broken. You know about people. Their passions, their hope, despair and anger. All of those tiny huge things that can turn the most ordinary person into a killer. Just think, Agatha. If anyone can solve this, it’s you.
The Doctor: You killed in this pattern because that’s what you think the world is. That’s how we are in the middle of a murder mystery. One of yours, Dame Agatha.
Agatha: Dame?
The Doctor: Oh. Sorry. Not yet.
The Doctor: She is the best selling novelist of all time.
Donna: But she never knew.
The Doctor: Well no one knows how they’re going to be remembered. All we can do is hope for the best. Maybe that’s what kept her writing. Same thing that keeps me travelling. Onwards?
Donna: Onwards.
Silence in the Library
The Doctor: Books. People never really stop loving books. 51st century. By now you’ve got holovids, direct-to-brain downloads, fiction mist. But you need the smell. The smell of books, Donna. Deep breath!
The Doctor: The Library. So big it doesn’t need a name. Just a great big “The”.
Donna: It’s like a city.
The Doctor: It’s a world. Literally. A world. The whole core of the planet is the index computer. Biggest hard drive ever. And up here, every book ever written. Whole continents of Jeffrey Archer, Bridget Jones, Monty Python’s Big Red Book. Brand new editions, special printings. We’re near the equator, so… checks the wind. This must be biographies! I love biographies!
Donna: Yeah, very you. Always a death at the end.
The Doctor: You need a good death. Without death there’d only be comedies. Dying gives us size. {Donna picks up a book} Oiya! Spoilers.
Donna: What?
The Doctor: These books are from your future. You don’t want to read ahead, spoil all the surprises. No peeking at the end.
Donna: Isn’t travelling with you one big spoiler?
The Doctor: I try to keep you away from major plot developments. Which, to be honest, I seem to be very bad at. ‘Cause, you know what, this is the biggest library in the universe. So where is everyone? It’s silent.
Donna: It’s a library.
The Doctor: It’s a planet.
Donna: Maybe it’s a Sunday.
The Doctor: No. I never land on Sundays. Sundays are boring.
The Doctor: A million million lifeforms. And silence in the library.
Donna: But there’s no one here. There’s just books. I mean it’s not the books, is it? I mean it can’t be the books, can it? I mean books can’t be alive.
Message: Count the shadows. For god’s sake, remember. If you want to live, count the shadows. Message ends.
The Doctor: Donna.
Donna: Yeah?
The Doctor: Stay out of the shadows.
Donna: Why? What’s in the shadows?
The Doctor: It’s alive.
Donna: You said it was a security camera.
The Doctor: It is. It’s an alive one.
The Doctor: Count the shadows.
Donna: One. There. Counted it. One shadow.
The Doctor: Yeah, but what’s casting it?
The Doctor: Oh, you’re not. Are you? Tell me you’re not archaeologists
River Song: Got a problem with archeologists?
The Doctor: I’m a time traveller. I point and laugh at archeologists.
The Doctor: All of you, stay in the light. Find a nice bright spot and stand. If you understand me look very very scared. No. A bit more scared than that. Okay, good for now.
The Doctor: Almost every species in the universe has an irrational fear of the dark. But they’re wrong. ‘Cause it’s not irrational. It’s Vashta Nerada.
Donna: What’s Vashta Nerada?
The Doctor: It’s what’s in the dark. It’s what’s always in the dark.
River: Thanks.
The Doctor: For what?
River: The usual. For coming when I call.
The Doctor: Oh, that was you?
River: You’re doing a very good job acting like you don’t know me. I’m assuming there’s a reason.
The Doctor: Oh, a fairly good one actually.
River: Okay, should we do diaries then? Where are we this time? Going by your face I’d say it’s early days for you, yes? So, um… Crash of the Byzantium. Have we done that yet? Obviously ringing no bells. Alright, um. Picnic at Asgard, Have we done Asgard yet? Obviously not. Blimey, very early days then. Oo! Life with a time traveller, never knew it could be such hard work. Um… Look at you. You’re young.
The Doctor: I’m really not, you know.
River: Oh but you are. Your eyes! You’re younger than I’ve ever seen you.
The Doctor: You’ve seen me before then?
River: Doctor, please tell me you know who I am.
The Doctor: Who are you?
Little Girl: Hello. Are you in my television?
The Doctor: Well, no. I’m— I’m— sort of in space. I was trying to call up the data core of a triple grid security processor.
Little Girl: Would you like to speak to my dad?
The Doctor: Yeah. Or your mum. That’d be lovely.
Little Girl: I know you! You’re in my library.
The Doctor: Your library?
Little Girl: My library’s never been on television before. What have you done?
The Doctor: Um… I, um… just rerouted the interface.
The Doctor: She’s a footprint on the beach. And the tides coming in.
The Doctor: Right, you lot. Let’s all meet the Vashta Nerada!
The Doctor: Not everyone comes back out of the dark.
River: So what do we do?
The Doctor: Daleks. Aim for the eyestalk. Sontarans. Back of the neck. Vashta Nerada. Run. Just run.
River: Run? Run where?
The Doctor: This is an index point. There must be an exit teleport somewhere.
Lux: Don’t look at me. I haven’t memorized the schematics.!
Donna: Doctor, the little shop. They always make you go through the little shop on the way out so they can sell you stuff!
The Doctor: You’re right! Brilliant! That’s why I like the little shop!
The Doctor to Proper Dave: I’m sorry. I am so so sorry. But you’ve got two shadows.
Donna: But Doctor, we haven’t got any helmets.
The Doctor: Yeah but we’re safe anyway.
Donna: How are we safe?
The Doctor: We’re not. That was just a clever lie to shut you up.
River: So. What’s the plan? Do we have a plan?
The Doctor: Your screwdriver. Looks exactly like mine.
River: Yeah. You gave it to me.
The Doctor: I don’t give my screwdriver to anyone.
River: I’m not anyone.
The Doctor: Who are you?
River: What’s the plan?
The Doctor: I teleported Donna back to the TARDIS. If we don’t go back there in under five hours Emergency Program One will activate.
River: “Take her home”, yeah.
Forest of the Dead
River: Doctor. One day I’m going to be someone that you trust. Completely. But I can’t wait for you to find that out. So I’m going to prove it to you. And I’m sorry. I’m really very sorry. {She whispers in his ear} Are we good? Doctor. Are we good?
The Doctor: Yeah, we’re good.
River: Good.
The Doctor: Know what’s interesting about my screwdriver? Very hard to interfere with it. Practically nothing strong enough. Well, some hairdryers but working on that. So, there is a very strong signal coming from somewhere. And it wasn’t there before. So what’s new, what’s changed? C’mon! What’s new? What’s different!
Dave: I don’t know. Nothing. It’s getting dark.
The Doctor: It’s a screwdriver. It works in the dark.
The Doctor: Someone somewhere in this Library is alive and communicating with the moon. Or, possibly alive and drying their hair.
River: Oh god they’ve got inside!
The Doctor: No no. I’ve just tinted her visor. Maybe they’ll think they’re already in there, leave her alone.
River: You think they can be fooled like that?
The Doctor: Maybe, I don’t know. It’s a swarm. It’s not like we chat.
The Doctor: Thing about me, I’m stupid. I talk to much. Always babbling on. This gob doesn’t stop for anything. Wanna know the only reason I’m still alive? I always stay near the door. {uses Captain Jack’s sonic to open a spot in the floor}
The Doctor: Spoilers. Nobody can open the TARDIS by snapping their fingers. It doesn’t work like that.
River: It does for the Doctor.
The Doctor: I am the Doctor.
River: Yeah. Someday.
The Doctor: “Safe.”
Anita: What?
The Doctor: “Saved.” You don’t say “saved.” Nobody says “saved.” You say “safe.”
River: Gravity Platform.
The Doctor: Bet I like you.
River: Oh, you do.
The Doctor: She’s got over four thousand living minds chatting away inside her head. It must like… being, well… me.
The Doctor: I’ll hook myself up to the computer, she can borrow my memory space.
River: Difficult. It’ll kill you stone dead!
The Doctor: Yes, easy to criticize.
River: It’ll stop both of your hearts and don’t think you’ll regenerate!
The Doctor: I’ll try my hardest not to die, honestly. It’s my main thing.
River: Doctor—
The Doctor: I’m right, this works. Shut up.
River: I hate you sometimes!
The Doctor: I know!
The Doctor: You know what? I really liked Anita. She was brave, even when she was crying. And she never gave in. And you ate her. But I’m going to let that pass. Just as long as you let them pass.
Anita: How long have you known?
The Doctor: I counted the shadows. You only have one now.
The Doctor: Don’t play games with me. You just killed someone I liked. That is not a safe place to stand. I’m the Doctor and you’re in the biggest library in the Universe. Look me up.
The Doctor: Oh no no. What are you doing? That’s my job!
River: Oh and I’m not allowed to have a career I suppose.
The Doctor: Why am I handcuffed? Why do you even have handcuffs?
River: Spoilers.
The Doctor: River you know my name. You whispered my name in my ear. There’s only one way I would ever tell anyone my name. There’s only one time I could.
River: Hush now. Spoilers.
Donna: I finally got the perfect man. Gorgeous, adores me, and hardly ever speak a word. What’s that say about me?
The Doctor: Everything. Sorry, did I say “everything”? I meant to say nothing. I was aiming for “nothing”. I accidentally said “everything”.
Donna: What about you? You alright?
The Doctor: I’m always alright.
Donna: Your friend, Professor Song. She knew you in the future but she didn’t know me. What happens to me? Because when she learned my name, the way she looked at me—
The Doctor: Donna, this is her diary. My future. I could look you up. What do you think? Shall we peek at the end?
Donna: Spoilers. Right?
The Doctor: Right. he sets the sonic screwdriver on top. C’mon. The next chapter’s this way.
The Doctor: Why? Why would I give her my screwdriver? Why would I do that? Thing is Future Me had years to think about it. All those years to think of a way to save her. And what he did was give her a screwdriver. Why would I do that? Oh! Look at that! I’m very good!
Donna: What have you done?
The Doctor: Saved her!
The Doctor: Stay with me. C’mon! You and me, one last run! Sorry River, shortcut.
Midnight
Donna: I said, “No!”
The Doctor: Sapphire Waterfalls. It’s a waterfall made of sapphires! This enormous jewel the size of a glacier reaches the Cliffs of Oblivion and then shatters into sapphires at the edge. They fall a hundred thousand feet into a crystal ravine.
Donna: I bet you say that to all the girls.
The Doctor: All right. I give up. I’ll be back for dinner and we’ll try that anti-gravity restaurant. With bibs.
Donna: That’s a date. Well not a date. Oh you know what I mean. Oh get off.
The Doctor: See ya later.
Donna: Oy! And you be careful. Alright?
The Doctor: Ah! Taking a big space truck with a bunch of strangers across a diamond planet called Midnight. What could possibly go wrong.
Hostess: I must warn you some products may contain nuts.
The Doctor: That’d be the peanuts.
Hostess: Enjoy your trip.
The Doctor: Oh I can’t wait. Allons-y!
Hostess: I’m sorry?
The Doctor: It’s French. For “let’s go.”
Hostess: Fascinating.
The Doctor: I’ve done plenty of that—travelling on my own. I love it! Do what you want, go anywhere.
Sky Silvestry: I’m still getting used to it. I found myself single rather recently, not by choice.
The Doctor: What happened?
Sky: Oh the usual. She needed her own space, as they say. A different galaxy in fact. I reckon that’s enough space, don’t you?
The Doctor: Yeah. My friend went to a different universe.
Sky: Well. What’s this, chicken or beef?
The Doctor: I think it’s both.
The Doctor: I’ve spoken to the Captain. I can guarantee you, everything’s fine. Two loud knocks come from outside the bus.
The Doctor doing inventory: Arms. Legs. Neck. Head. Nose. I’m fine. Everyone else?
The Doctor (and Sky): Now then, Sky. Are you Sky? Is Sky still in there? Mrs. Silvestry? You know exactly what I’m going to say. How are you doing that? Roast beef! Bananas! The Medusa Cascade. Bang! Rose Tyler Martha Jones Donna Noble TARDIS! Shamble bobble dibble dooble. Oh Doctor, you’re so handsome. Yes I am! Thank you. A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O…
The Doctor: I think… the more we talk the more she learns. Now I’m all for education but in this case… maybe not.
Professor Hobbes (and Sky): For the last time! Nothing can live on the surface of Midnight.
The Doctor (and Sky): Professor, I’m glad you’ve got an absolute definition of life in the Universe, but perhaps the Universe has got ideas of its own, hm? Now trust me, I’ve got previous. I think there might well be some… consciousness inside Mrs. Silvestry, but maybe she’s still in there. And it’s our job to help her.
Biff (and Sky): Well you can help but I’m not going near.
The Doctor (and Sky): No, I’ve got to stay back. ‘Cause if she’s copying us then maybe the final stage is becoming us. I don’t want her becoming me, or things could get a lot worse.
Val (and Sky): Oh, like you’re so special.
The Doctor (and Sky): As it happens, yes I am.
The Doctor: The Hostess. What was her name?
Hobbes: I don’t know.
Donna: Can’t imagine you without a voice.
The Doctor: Molto bene.
Donna: Molto bene.
The Doctor: No, don’t do that. Don’t…. Don’t.
Turn Left
The Doctor: Just got lucky, this thing. It’s one of the Trickster’s Brigade. Changes a life in tiny little ways. Most times the universe just compensates around it, but with you… great big parallel world!
Donna: Hold on. You said parallel worlds are sealed off.
The Doctor: They are. But you had one created around you. Funny thing is, seems to be happening a lot. To you.
Donna: How d’you mean?
The Doctor: Well, the Library. Then this.
Donna: Just goes with the job, I suppose.
The Doctor: Sometimes I think there’s way too much coincidence around you, Donna. I met you once. I met your grandfather. Then I met you again. In the whole wide universe, I met you for a second time. It’s like something’s binding us together.
Donna: Don’t be so daft. I’m nothing special.
The Doctor: Yes you are. You’re brilliant.
Rose in alt-world flash: He thought you were brilliant.
Donna: She said that.
The Doctor: Who did?
Donna: That woman. I can’t remember.
The Doctor: Well, she never existed, now.
Donna: No, but she said… the stars. She said the stars are going out.
The Doctor: Yeah, but that world’s gone.
Donna: No, but she said it was all worlds. Every world. She said the Darkness is coming. Even here.
The Doctor: Who was she?
Donna: I don’t know.
The Doctor: What did she look like?
Donna: She was… blonde.
The Doctor: What was her name?
Donna: I don’t know.
The Doctor: Donna, what was her name?
Donna: But she told me to warn you. She said two words.
The Doctor: What two words? What were they? What did she say?
Donna: “Bad Wolf.” What does it mean? Doctor, what is it? What’s “Bad Wolf”?
The Doctor: It’s the end of the universe.
The Stolen Earth
The Doctor: It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Nothing’s wrong. It’s fine. Excuse me, what day is it?
Milk Man: Saturday.
The Doctor: Saturday! Good! Good. I like Saturdays.
Donna: So. I just met Rose Tyler.
The Doctor: Yeah.
Donna: But she’s locked away in a parallel world.
The Doctor: Exactly. If she can cross from her parallel world to your parallel world then that means the walls of the universe are breaking down. Which puts everything in danger. Everything. But how?
Donna: Thing is, Doctor, no matter what’s happening—and I’m sure it’s bad. I get that. But, Rose is coming back. Isn’t that good?
The Doctor: Yeah.
The Doctor: The TARDIS is still in the same place but the Earth is gone. The entire planet. It’s gone.
Donna: But if the Earth’s been moved, they’ve lost the sun. What about my mum? And Granddad? They’re dead. Are they, are they dead?
The Doctor: I don’t know, Donna. I just don’t know. I’m sorry, I don’t know.
Donna: That’s my family. My whole world.
Donna: So what do we do?
The Doctor: We’ve got to get help.
Donna: From where?
The Doctor: Donna, I’m taking you to Shadow Proclamation. Hold tight.
Donna: So go on then, what is this Shadow Proclamation anyway?
The Doctor: Posh name for the police. Outer space police.
Shadow Architect: Time Lords are the stuff of legend. They belong in the myths and whispers of the higher species. You can not possibly exist.
The Doctor: Yeah. More to the point, I’ve got a missing planet.
Shadow Architect: Then you’re not as wise as the stories would say. The picture is far bigger than you would imagine. The whole universe is in outrage, Doctor. Twenty-four worlds have been taken from the sky.
The Doctor: How many? Which ones? Show me!
Shadow Architect: Locations range far and wide. They all disappeared at the exact same moment, leaving no trace.
The Doctor: Callufrax Minor. Jahoo. Shallacatop. Woman Wept. Clom! Clom’s gone? Who’d want Clom?
Shadow Architect: All different sizes. Some populated, some not. But all unconnected.
Donna: What about Pyrovillia?
Shadow Architect: Who is the female?
Donna: Donna. I’m a human being. Maybe not the stuff of legend but every bit as important as Time Lords, thank you. Way back, when we were in Pompeii, Lucius said Pyrovillia had gone missing.
Judoon Leader: Pyrovillia is cold case. Not relevant!
Donna: How d’you mean, “cold case”?
Shadow Architect: The planet Pyrovillia cannot be part of this. It disappeared over 2,000 years ago.
Donna: Yes, yes. Hang on. But there’s the Adipose Breeding Planet too. Miss Foster said that was lost. But that must’ve been a long time ago.
The Doctor: That’s it! Donna, brilliant! Planets are being taken out of time as well as space. Put this into 3D. Now, if we add Pyrovillia… and Adipose III…. Something missing. Where else, where else where else where else? Lost lost lost lost lost. . . Oh! The Lost Moon of Poosh!
Shadow Architect: What did you do?
The Doctor: Nothing. The planets rearranged themselves into the optimum pattern. Oh, look at that! Twenty-seven planets in perfect balance. Come on, that is gorgeous!
Donna: Oi, don’t get all spaceman. What does it mean?
The Doctor: All those worlds fit together like pieces of an engine. It’s like a powerhouse! But what for?
Shadow Architect: Who could design such a thing?
The Doctor: Someone tried to move the Earth once before. Long time ago… Can’t be.
The Doctor: Donna, c’mon think! Earth. There must have been some sort of warning. Was anything happening back in your day? Like electrical storms, freak weather, patterns in the sky?
Donna: Well how should I know? Um… no. I don’t think so, no.
The Doctor: Okay, never mind.
Donna: Although… there were the bees disappearing.
The Doctor: “The bees disappearing”? The bees disappearing. The bees disappearing!
Shadow Architect: How is that significant?
Donna: On Earth we have these insects. Some people said it was pollution or mobile phones.
The Doctor: Or they were going back home.
Donna: Back home where?
The Doctor: Planet Melissa Majoria.
Donna: Are you saying bees are aliens?
The Doctor: Don’t be so daft! Not all of them.
The Doctor: I’ve got a blip! It’s just a blip but it’s definitely a blip.
Shadow Architect: Then according to the strictures of the Shadow Proclamation I will have to seize your transport and your technology.
The Doctor: Oh. Really? What for?
Shadow Architect: The planets were stolen with hostile intent. We are declaring war, Doctor. Right across the universe! And you will lead us into battle!
The Doctor: Right. Yes. ‘Course I will. Just go… get you the key.
The Doctor: It’s stopped.
Donna: What d’you mean? Is that good or bad? Where are we?
The Doctor: The Medusa Cascade.
The Doctor: I came here when I was just a kid. Ninety years old. It was the center of a rift in time and space.
Donna: So where are the twenty-seven
planets?
The Doctor: Nowhere. Tandocca Trail stops dead. End of the line.
Donna: So what do we do? Doctor, what do we do? Don’t do this to me! No, don’t. Don’t do this to me. Not now. Tell me, what are we going to do. You never give up! Please!
The Doctor: Phone!
Donna: Doctor, phone!
The Doctor: Martha, is that you? Signal!
Donna: Can we follow it?
The Doctor: Oo! Just watch me!
Donna: Twenty-seven planets. And there’s the Earth. But why couldn’t we see it?
The Doctor: The entire Medusa Cascade has been put a second out of sync with the rest of the Universe. Perfect hiding place. Tiny little pocket of time. But we found ’em! Oo! Oo, what’s that? Hold on, hold on! some sort of… subwave network.
Jack: Where the hell have you been? Doctor, it’s the Daleks!
Gwen: Oh, he’s a bit nice. Thought he’d be older.
Ianto: He’s not that young.
The Doctor: Sarah Jane! Who’s that boy? That must be Torchwood. Oh, they’re brilliant! Look at you, all you clever people.
Donna: That’s Martha! And who’s he?
The Doctor: Captain Jack. Don’t… Just… don’t.
Rose: Doctor, it’s me. I came back.
Donna: It’s like an outer space Facebook.
The Doctor: Everybody except Rose.
Davros: Your voice is different. And yet… its arrogance is unchanged.
Sarah Jane: No! But he’s dead.
Davros: Welcome to my new empire, Doctor. It is only fitting that you sohuld bear witness to the resurrection and the triumph of Davros. Lord and Creator of the Dalek race.
Donna: Doctor?
Davros: Have you nothing to say?
Donna: Doctor, it’s alright. We’re in the TARDIS. We’re safe.
The Doctor: But you were destroyed. In the very first year of the Time War. The Gates of Elysium. I saw your command ship fly into the jaws of the Nightmare Child. I tried to save you.
Davros: But it took one stronger than you. Dalek Caan himself.
Davros: I have my children, Doctor. What do you have now?
The Doctor: After all this time—everything we saw, everything we lost—I have only one thing to say to you. Bye!
The Doctor: Think, Donna. When you met Rose in that parallel world, what did she say?
Donna: Just… “the darkness is coming”.
The Doctor: Anything else?
Donna: Why don’t you ask her yourself.
Rose: I’ve got you! I missed you. Look, it’s me! Look!
The Doctor: Rose.
Rose: Right.
The Doctor: Long time, no see.
Rose: Yes. Been busy, you know. Don’t die. Oh my god, don’t die! Oh my god, don’t die!
Jack: Get him into the TARDIS quick. Move!
Jack: Here we go! Good luck, Doctor.
Donna: Would somebody please tell me what is going on?
Rose: When he’s dying his body, it repairs itself. It changes. But you can’t!
The Doctor: I’m sorry. It’s too late. I’m regenerating.
Journey’s End
(NOTE: Quotes from The Second Doctor [or half-human Doctor] are on the Other Quotes page)
The Doctor: Now then. Where were we?
The Doctor: You see? Used the regeneration energy to heal myself, but as soon as that was done I didn’t need to change. I didn’t want to. Why would I? Look at me! So to stop the energy from going all the way, I siphoned off the rest into a handy biometric receptacle. Namely, my hand. My hand there. My handy spare hand. Remember Christmas Day Sicorax. Lost my hand in a sword fight. That’s my hand. What do you think?
Rose: You’re still you.
The Doctor: I’m still me.
Jack: There’s a massive Dalek ship at the center of the planets. They’re calling it The Crucible. I guess that’s our destination.
Donna: You said these planets are like an engine. But what for?
The Doctor: Rose, you’ve been in a parallel world. You’ve seen the future. What was it?
Rose: It’s the Darkness.
Donna: The stars were going out.
Rose: One by one. They were just dying. Basically we’ve been building this, um, travel machine. This, uh, dimension cannon so I could, uh, so I—
The Doctor: What?
Rose: So I could come back. Shut up. Anyway suddenly it started to work. And the dimension started to collapse. And not just in our world, not just in yours, but the whole of reality. Even the void was dead. Something is destroying everything.
Donna: In that parallel world, you said something about me.
Rose: The dimension could measure timelines. And it’s weird, Donna, but they all seem to converge on you.
Donna: But why me? I mean, what have I ever done? I’m a temp from Chiswick.
The Doctor: The Dalek Crucible. All aboard.
The Doctor: We’ll have to go out. Because if we don’t they’ll get in.
Rose: You told me nothing could get through those doors.
Jack: You’ve got extrapolator shielding.
The Doctor: Last time we fought the Daleks they were scavengers and hybrids. And mad. But this is a fully-fledged Dalek Empire. At the height of its power. Experts at fighting TARDIS’s. They can do anything. Right now that wooden door. Is just wood.
Rose: Daleks.
Jack trying to be flip : Oh god!
The Doctor: It’s been good though, hasn’t it? All of us. All of it. Everything we did. to Donna: You were brilliant. to Jack: And you were brilliant. to Rose: And you were brilliant. Blimey!
The Doctor: The Supreme Dalek said “vault”. Yeah? As in dungeon. Cellar. Prison. You’re not in charge of the Daleks, are you? They’ve got you locked away down here in the basement like what? A servant? Slave? Court Jester?
Davros: We have… an arrangement.
The Doctor: No no no no. No. I’ve got the word. You’re the Daleks’ pet!
Rose: What is that thing?
The Doctor: You’ve met before. The last of the Cult of Skaro. But it flew into the Time War unprotected
Davros: Caan did more than that. He saw time. Its infinite complexity and majesty raging through his mind. And he saw you. Both of you.
Caan: This I have foreseen! In the wild and the wind! The Doctor will be here as witness at the end of everything! The Doctor and his precious Children of Time! And one of them will die!
Davros: Why so shy? Show your companion. Show her your true self. Dalek Caan has promised me that too.
Caan: I have seen into the time of ending. The Doctor’s soul will be revealed.
The Doctor: What does that mean?
Davros: We will discover it together. Our final journey. Because the ending approaches. The testing begins.
The Doctor: The testing of what?
Davros: The Reality Bomb.
The Doctor: What’s an Osterhagen Key?!
Martha: There’s a chain of twenty-five nuclear warheads. Placed in strategic points beneath the Earth’s crust. If I use the key, they detonate and the Earth gets ripped apart.
The Doctor: What?! Who invented that— well, someone called Osterhagen, I suppose. Martha, are you insane?!
The Doctor: Donna, you can’t even change a plug.
Donna: Do you wanna bet, Time Boy.
Davros: You’ll suffer for this.
Donna: Oohhh. Bio electric dampening field with a retrogressive arc inversion.
Davros: Exterminate her!
Daleks: Exterminate! Exterminate! Weapons nonfunctional!
Donna: Wha? Macro transmission of a k-field wavelength blocking Dalek weaponry in a self-replicating semi-bifold matrix?
The Doctor: How did you work that out? You’re—
The Human/Doctor: Time Lord. Part-Time Lord.
Donna: Part human. Oh yes. That was a two-way biological metacrisis. Half-Doctor Half-Donna.
The Doctor: The Doctor Donna! Just like the Ood said. Remember? They saw it coming. The Doctor Donna.
Davros: But you promised me, Dalek Caan. Why did you not foresee this?
The Doctor: Oh I think he did. Something’s been manipulating the timelines for ages. Getting Donna Noble to the right place at the right time.
Sarah Jane: What about the Earth? It’s stuck in the wrong part of space.
The Doctor: I’m on it! Torchwood Hub, this is The Doctor. Are you receiving me?
Gwen: Loud and clear. Is Jack there?
The Doctor: Can’t get rid of him. Jack, what’s her name?
Jack: Gwen Cooper.
The Doctor: Tell me, Gwen Cooper, are you from an old Cardiff family?
Gwen: Yes. All the way back to the 1800s.
The Doctor: Ah. Thought so. Spatial genetic multiplicity. It’s a funny old world.
The Doctor: C’mon, Luke. Shake a leg!
Sarah Jane: K-9! Out you come!
The Doctor: Oh! Good dog!
The Doctor: ‘Cause you know why this TARDIS is always rattling around this place? It’s designed to have six pilots and I have to do it single-handed. But not anymore! Now we can fly this thing like it’s meant to be flown!
The Doctor to Jack: I told you! No teleport. And Martha, get rid of that Osterhagen thing. Eh? Save the world one more time.
Martha: Consider it done.
The Doctor: Oy! Where you going?
Mickey: Well I’m not stupid. I can work out what happens next. And I had a good time in that parallel world, but my Gran passed away. Nice and peaceful. Spent her last years living in a mansion. There’s nothing there for me now. Certainly not Rose.
The Doctor: What’ll you do?
Mickey: Anything. Brand new life. Just you watch. See ya Boss! running after Jack and Martha. Hey, you two!
Jack: Oh. Thought I got rid of you.
The Doctor: It’s time for one last trip. Dårlig ulv stranden. Better known as [Bad Wolf Bay].
Jackie: Oh, fat lot of good this is. Back of beyond. Bloody Norway. I’m gonna have to phone your father. He’s on the nursery run. I was pregnant, do you remember? Had a baby boy.
The Doctor: Ah! Brilliant. What’d you call him?
Jackie: Doctor.
The Doctor: Really?
Jackie: No, you plum. He’s called Tony.
The Human/Doctor: But you made me.
The Doctor: Exactly. You were born in battle. Full of blood and anger and revenge. to Rose. Remind you of someone? That’s me, when we first met. And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him.
Rose: But he’s not you.
The Doctor: He needs you. That’s very me.
Rose: Alright both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach—on the worst day of my life—what was the last thing you said to me? Go on, say it.
The Doctor: I said “Rose Tyler.”
Rose: Yeah and? How was that sentence gonna end?
The Doctor: Does it need saying?
Rose: And you, Doctor? What was the end of that sentence. he whispers in her ear and she turns to kiss him as The Doctor and Donna slip away into the TARDIS
Donna: I thought we’d try the planet Fellspoon. Just ’cause. What a good name. “Fellspoon.” Apparently it’s got mountains that sway in the breeze. Mountains that move. Can you imagine.
The Doctor: And how do you know that.
Donna: Because it’s in your head. And if it’s in your head, it’s in mine.
The Doctor: And how does that feel.
Donna: Brilliant! Fantastic! Molto bene! Great big universe packed into my brain. You know you could fix that Chameleon circuit if you just tried hotwiring it into the
fragment-links and superseding the binary— binary— binary— binary— binary— binary— … I’m fine! Nah! Never mind Fellspoon. You know who I’d love to meet? Charlie Chaplin. I bet he’s great, Charlie Chaplin. Should we do that? Should we go see Charlie Chaplin? Charlie Chaplin Charlie Chester Charlie Brown. No, he’s fiction friction fiction fixing mixing rixon Brixton. Oh my god!
The Doctor: Do you know what’s happening?
Donna: Yeah.
The Doctor: There’s never been a human-Time Lord metacrisis before now. And you know why.
Donna: Because there can’t be. I want to stay.
The Doctor: Look at me. Donna, look at me!
Donna: I was gonna be with you. Forever.
The Doctor: I know.
Donna: Rest of my life. Traveling. In the TARDIS. The Doctor Donna. Oh, my, I can’t go back. Don’t make me go back. Doctor, please! Please don’t make me go back.
The Doctor: Donna. Oh, Donna Noble. I am so sorry. But we had the best of times. The best. Goodbye.
Donna: No! No! Please! No!
Wilfred: That must be her! Donna! Ha ha!
The Doctor: Help me!
Wilfred: Donna?
The Doctor: She took my mind into her own head, but that’s a Time Lord consciousness. All that knowledge, it was killing her.
Wilfred: But she’ll get better now?
The Doctor: I had to wipe her mind completely. Every trace of me or the TARDIS. Anything we did together, everywhere we went. Had to go.
Wilfred: All those wonderful things she did.
The Doctor: I know. But that version of Donna is dead. ‘Cause if she remembers, just for a second, she’ll burn up. You can never tell her. You can’t mention me or any of it. For the rest of her life.
Sylvia: But the whole world’s talking about it. We traveled across space.
The Doctor: It’ll just be a story. One of those Donna Noble stories, where she missed it all again.
Wilfred: But she was better with you!
Sylvia: Don’t say that!
Wilfred: Well she was!
The Doctor: I just want you know there are worlds out there safe in the sky because of her. And there are people living in the light and singing songs of Donna Noble a thousand million light years away. They will never forget her. While she can never remember. But for one moment, one shining moment, she was the most important woman in the whole wide universe.
Sylvia: She still is. She’s my daughter.
The Doctor: Then maybe you should tell her that once in awhile.
Wilfred: Oh, Doctor. What about you now? Who’ve you got? I mean, all those friends of yours.
The Doctor: They’ve all got someone else. Still that’s fine. I’m fine.
Wilfred: I’ll watch out for you, sir.
The Doctor: You can’t ever tell her!
Wilfred: No no. But every night, Doctor. When it gets dark, and the stars come out, I’ll look up on her behalf. I’ll look up at the sky. And think of you.
The Doctor: Thank you.