Penny (Verona Joseph): How do we know the fat isn’t going straight into your bank account?
Miss Foster (Sarah Lancashire): Oh Penny, if cynicism burnt up calories we’d all be thin as rakes.
The Doctor to the film projectionist: Health and Safety… Film Department.
The Doctor: What’s that for?
Phone Bank Woman: My telephone number. Health and Safety. You be health, I’ll be safety.
The Doctor: Ah. Ah, but that contravenes, um, paragraph 5 subsection C.
The Doctor: Tell me Roger, have you got a cat flap?
Roger (Martin Ball): It was here when I bought the house. I never bothered with it really. I’m not a cat person.
The Doctor: No I’ve met cat people. You’re nothing like them.
Roger: Is that what it is then? Cats getting inside the house?
The Doctor: Well, thing about cat flaps is, they don’t just let things in, they let things out as well.
Roger: Like what?
The Doctor: “The fat just walks away.”
Miss Foster: We have unscheduled parthenogenesis.
Sylvia: And what time’s this?
Donna: How old am I?
Sylvia: Not old enough to use a phone.
Donna: You really believe in all that stuff, don’t you?
Wilfred Mott (Bernard Cribbins): It’s all over the place these days. If I wait here long enough…
Donna: I don’t suppose you’ve seen a little blue box.
Wilfred: Is that slang for something?
Donna: I mean it. If you ever see a little blue box, flying up there in the sky, you shout for me, Gramps. Oh you just shout.
Wilfred: You know, I don’t understand half the things you say these days.
Donna: Nor me.
Wilfred: Fair do’s. You’ve had a funny old time of it lately.
Wilfred: You seem to be drifting, Sweetheart.
Donna: I’m not drifting. I’m waiting.
The Doctor: Oh. Fascinating! It seems to be a bio-flip digital switch specifically for… He realizes he’s talking to no one.
Sylvia (Jacqueline King): Why are you whispering?
Donna trying to be quiet: I’m in church!
Sylvia: What are you doing in church?
Donna: Praying.
Sylvia: Bit late for that, Madame.
Penny: You can’t tie me up! What sort of a country do you think this is?
Miss Foster: Oh, it’s a beautifully fat country. And believe me I’ve travelled a long way to find obesity on this scale.
The Doctor and Donna see each other across the room
The Doctor: Donna?
Donna: Doctor!
The Doctor: What are, what are you—?
Donna: Oh. My. God!
The Doctor: How?
Donna: It’s me!
The Doctor: I can see that.
Donna: Oh this is brilliant!
The Doctor: What the hell are you doing there?
Donna: I was looking for you!
The Doctor: What for?
Donna: I read it on the internet … it’s weird… crept along… heard them talking… looked… It’s you! Th—
Miss Foster: Are we interrupting you?
The Doctor: Run!
Donna: Oh my god! I don’t believe it! You’ve even got the same suit! Don’t you ever change?
The Doctor: Yeah, thanks Donna. Not right now. The guards are advancing on them. Just like old times!
Penny: Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on?
The Doctor: What are you, a journalist?
Penny: Yes.
The Doctor: Then make it up.
Donna: I was right. It’s always like this with you, innit?
The Doctor: Oh yes! And off we go.
Miss Foster: I’ve been employed by the Adiposian first family to foster a new generation after their breeding planet was lost.
The Doctor: What d’you mean “lost”? How do you lose a planet?
Miss Foster: Oh, politics are none of my concern.
I’m just here to take of the children on behalf of the family.
The Doctor: What, like an outer space Super Nanny?
Miss Foster: Yes, if you’d like.
The Doctor: Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. One more thing… before dying. Do you know what happens if you hold two identical sonic devices against each other?
Miss Foster: No.
The Doctor: Nor me. Let’s find out!
Miss Foster: Advance the birth plan. We’re going into premature labor.
Donna: Well that’s one solution, hide in a cupboard. I like it.
Donna: I must have been mad to turn down that offer.
The Doctor: What offer?
Donna: To come with you.
The Doctor: Come with me?
Donna: Oh yes, please!
The Doctor: Right.
Penny: What’s happened?
Miss Foster: I think The Doctor happened.
Donna: What are you going to do then? Blow them up?
The Doctor: They’re just children. They can’t help where they came from.
Donna: Oh, well that makes a change from last time. That Martha must have done you good.
The Doctor: Yeah, she did. She did, yeah. She fancied me.
Donna: Mad Martha, that one. Blind Martha— Charity Martha.
Donna: I’m waving at fat.
The Doctor: Actually as a diet plan it sort of works.
The Doctor: You’ve got a hat box.
Donna: Planet of the Hats. I’m ready!
Donna: You’re not saying much.
The Doctor: No, it’s just— It’s a funny old life. In the TARDIS.
Donna: You don’t want me.
The Doctor: I’m not saying that.
Donna: But you asked me. would you rather be on your own?
The Doctor: No. Actually no. But. The last time, with Martha—like I said, it got complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.
Donna: You just want to mate?!
The Doctor: I just want a mate.
Donna: Well you’re not mating with me, sunshine!
The Doctor: A mate! I just want a mate.
Donna: Well it’s just as well, because I’m not having any of that nonense. I mean you’re just a long streak of… nothing! Alien nothing.
The Doctor: There we are then.