The Wedding of River Song

London 5:02 pm 22nd April, 2011 And it’s another beautiful day in London. There are reports of sun spot activity and solar flares causing interference across all radio signals—apologies for that. Londinium Cotide: War of the Roses Enters Second Year Bill Turnbull: So do you think you can top last year’s Christmas special? Sian Williams: […]

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Closing Time

Sophie (Daisy Haggard): I’ve labeled the food and sort of numbered it. Craig Owens (James Corden): Sophie, you don’t need to number food. Sophie: It’s just a suggestion. Craig: I can cope on my own! Now please go and have a rest. You need it. I love you. Sophie: I love you too. And thank […]

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The God Complex

Lucy Hayward (Sarah Quintrell): My name is Lucy Hayward. And I’m the last one left. It’s funny. You don’t know what’s going to be in your room until you see it. Then you realize it could never have been anything else. The gaps between my worship are getting shorter. This is what happened to the […]

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The Girl Who Waited

The Doctor pointing: Appalapachia! Amy: Say it again. The Doctor: Appalapachia! Amy: Appalapa- The Doctor: Chia! Rory: Appalapachia. The Doctor: Appalapachia! Amy: Appalapachia. What a beautiful word. The Doctor: Beautiful word. Beautiful world. Appalapachia. Voted number two planet in the top ten greatest destinations for the discerning intergalactic traveler. Rory: Why couldn’t we go to […]

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Night Terrors

Claire (Emma Cunniffe): George, I won’t tell you again. Get into bed. I’m gonna be late for work. It’s just the lift, love. How many more times… George (Jamie Oram): I don’t like it. Claire: Well what do we do with the things we don’t like? Both: Put them in the cupboard. George: The thing. […]

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Let’s Kill Hitler

The Doctor holds up a newspaper: “Leadworth’s crop circle” The Doctor: Seriously? Rory: Well you never answer your phone. Amy: Okay, you’ve had all summer. Have you found her? Have you found Melody? The Doctor to Rory: Permission? Rory: Granted. The Doctor hugging Amy: You know who she grows up to be, so you know […]

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A Good Man Goes to War

Demon’s Run Amy: I wish I could tell you that you’ll be loved. That you’ll be safe and cared for and protected. But this isn’t the time for lies. What you are going to be, Melody, is very very brave. Madame Kovarian (Frances Barber): Two minutes. Amy: But not as brave as they all have […]

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The Almost People

Jimmy (Mark Bonnar): What’s happening? The Doctor Ganger: I wonder if we will get back. Yes. One day. {he screams in pain} Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow! The Doctor: The Flesh is struggling to cope with our past regenerations. Hold on. The Doctor Ganger: Would you like a jelly baby? Why! Why! The […]

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The Rebel Flesh

Jimmy (Mark Bonnar): You know the drill, people. Acid visors down and locked. Jennifer Lucas (Sarah Smart): Reading of 9.7. Jimmy: So it’s a bit low for unrefined. How’s the average? Jennifer: The acid potency stats have definitely dropped below the mean during the last quarter. Buzzer (Marshall Lancaster): Prettier then a computer, isn’t she? […]

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The Doctor’s Wife

Idris (Suranne Jones): Will it be me, Uncle? Uncle (Adrian Schiller): Yeah, it’s gonna be you. I only wish I could go in your place, Idris. Nah I don’t, ’cause it’s really gonna hurt. {an Ood with yellow glowing eyes comes up behind her}. Idris: It’s starting. What will happen? Auntie (Elizabeth Berrington): Oh! Um, […]

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The Curse of the Black Spot

Boatswain (Lee Ross): He slipped in the bilge water, Captain, and fell under the rigger. His hand, I… I don’t know if he’ll survive. Captain Henry Avery (Hugh Bonneville) seeing a slight cut: You’re a dead man, McGrath. {checks for the black spot on his palm}. Same as all the others. {hears singing} She’s here. […]

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Day of the Moon

3 Months Later – July 1969 Amy: Is that a body bag? Canton Delaware (Mark Sheppard): Yes it is. Amy: It’s empty. Canton: How ’bout that. Amy: Do you even know why you’re doing this, eh? Can you even remember? The warehouse. Area 51 – Nevada Canton: We found Amy Pond. She had strange markings […]

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The Impossible Astronaut

In memory of Elisabeth Sladen 1948-2011 The Doctor popping out from under a dress: You know, this isn’t nearly as bad as it looks. Amy: “At the personal intervention of the King, the unnamed doctor was incarcerated without trial in the Tower of London.” Rory: Okay, but it doesn’t have to be him. Amy: “According […]

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