Mr. Fleck (Steve Higgins): You get called geeks. You get cleaned out. Girls don’t even look at ya— Bill: I thought this was supposed to make us feel better. Mr. Fleck: Hold on, Cool Breeze. It gets better. “What? I’m accepted at a Ivy League college?” “Hey, chicks did smart guys. Who knew.” “Woah. Look […]
Mrs. Weir: So I hear something very exciting is happening this week at school. Cindy: That’s right. Vice President George Herbert Walker Bush is coming to our school to speak at an assembly in the cafeteria. Mr. Weir: You know, everyone’s a Democrat until they get a little money. Then they come to their senses. Ken: […]
Nick: Those drums were my personal property. Mr. Andopolis (Kevin Tighe): Your only personal property is your future. Nick: Maybe the drums were my future. Why don’t you think about that. Mr. Andopolis: End of conversation. Ken: Grateful Dead. Music sucks. Chicks are hot. Lindsay: Dad, give me one good reason why a woman can’t be president. […]
Sam: Bill, that is not sexy. Bill: Yes it is! Neal: Bill, it look like you’re having a seizure. Bill: Sam, come on. Shake it, you won’t break it. {Neal stops the music}. You cut me off mid-funk. Neal: I’ve discovered something that will change our lives. It brings power, respect and money. And it’s […]
Mr. Weir: Sure Lindsay. You can see The Who. And you can go see The Rolling Stones at Altamont too. Ken: I always say, girl plus car equals dead animal. Lindsay: Are you copying Ken’s homework? Kim: Trying to. He writes like a mental patient. Neal: He’s a gym teacher. There’s no upward mobility. Mr. […]
Nick: You know, I always noticed that the day after we have Salisbury Steak, we always have hamburgers. But then the day after that we always have meatball heroes. And a few days after that we have meatloaf. So is it the same meat? Are you guys recycling the meat? Lunchlady: It’s different meat. Nick: […]
Sam: Your dad’s the coolest. Mr. Schweiber (Sam McMurray): I heard that! Neal: Yeah. Lindsay: Hey, at least she knows how to play an instrument. Ken: That’s not playing an instrument. That’s like blowing into a toilet. Lindsay: Sounds better than your singing. Ken: Lindsay, here’s an idea: how about you break up our band […]
Ken: We’re gonna blow the roof off his garage in the most rock-tagious way. Neal: I hate being in school after it’s out. Makes me feel like a janitor. Sam: What’s so great about him anyway? Neal: It’s the hair. Mr. Weir: I could call the police. Do you know that? I could call the […]
Mrs. Weir: “I’m sick of living in this claustrophobic suburban world—
Mr. Weir: Oh, get used to it.
Mrs. Weir: “—where everyone is trying to fit in. I feel like I lived in a world of scared robots. Obviously this is terrible, but two of the worst ones are mom and dad.” […]
Nick: Hey Lindsay, do you ever think about heavy stuff? Lindsay: Heavy stuff? Nick: Like death or the meaning of life. Lindsay: Well yeah. My grandmother died I was pretty depressed. I took it pretty hard— Nick: Yeah yeah. I knew that you were like me. I can’t even talk to those other guys. Ken […]
Sam: So are you going to be smelly the rest of your life?
Gordon: Yeah. But I don’t mind. Nice people don’t care and it weeds out the jerks. […]
Mr. Rosso: There’s two ways you can look at anything in this life. Take my job for instance. I could get up every morning and go “I don’t wanna go and help a bunch of kids. I’m tired.” But I don’t. I get up, and put on my shirt and my tie and I say, “Hot dog! Lemme at ’em.”
Ken: Do you actually say the words “hot dog”? […]
Sam: I’m sick. I’m dizzy. I have a headache. And I’m nauseous.
Fredricks: Alright. Okay, go to the nurse’s office. Pick up the Academy Award on the way there, Weir. […]
Mr. Weir: She’s hanging with the wrong crowd. They’re lying and cheating and next thing you know she’s Patty Hearst and she’s got a gun to our heads! […]
Kim: My life sucks!
Lindsay: No it doesn’t.
Kim: My parents hate me, I don’t have any friends. You’re like my only friend, Lindsay. You’re a total loser. No offense.
[…]
Bill: I’m just trying to to win ten bucks here. I don’t wanna die. […]
Lindsay: Oh come on, Dad. Every generation is afraid of the music that comes from the next. I’m sure your parents hated Elvis.
Mr. Weir: Elvis didn’t expectorate on his fans.
Sam: No. But he died on the toilet.
Mr. Weir: Well, that’s paradise compared to where those Sex Pistols are gonna end up. […]
Harold Weir (Joe Flaherty): You know, I had a friend that used to smoke. You know what he’s doing now? He’s dead! […]