Much “I Do” About Nothing

Serena: Hey Dan. I’ve been trying to reach you all night. I know it’s early… or late if you haven’t slept like me. But um, I’m pretty sure after this message I will have officially filled your voicemail so I… I’m coming over. Lily: Oh my. god. Rufus: Oh my god. Lily: What? Rufus: I […]

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Woman on the Verge

Gossip Girl: In our modern age, when you call someone and can’t find them you can be pretty sure they’ll get the message. But if they don’t call you back, it usually means they don’t want to be found. Rufus: I don’t know if you know this, but you can be a pretty judgmental guy. […]

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All About My Brother

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Jenny Humphrey wading in the Met fountain, fishing for change. Blair Waldorf seen dallying with an off-duty doorman on Monday night. It looks like the battle between the Queen B and Little J has moved from the streets to the blogs. Who’s sending this debasing dish? I have a feeling. Blair: A […]

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Desperately Seeking Serena

Gossip Girl: There are three things we do alone: we are born, we die, and if we’re a high school junior headed for college, we take the SATs. And while the test is said to measure our best traits, preparing for it inevitably brings out the worst. Humility becomes self-doubt. Striving becomes obsession. Some are […]

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The Blair Bitch Project

Gossip Girl: Wakey wakey, Upper East Siders. Spring Break is done and I’m starved for a dish. Were you sunning in Crete or sinning in Croatia? Give me the deets. And has anyone spotted our ex-Queen B? Where does the dethroned royalty vacation these days? Dorota Kishlovsky (Zuzanna Szadkowski): Club Bed is over. First day […]

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The Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate

Gossip Girl: “What’s the difference between gossip and scandal?” So glad you asked, UESForever. Anyone can commit a minor indiscretion and generate a day’s worth of buzz. But in order to birth a true scandal, it requires the right person to be in the wrong place. Take one It Girl on a pedestal. Add a […]

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Roman Holiday

Gossip Girl: Hey Upper East Siders, it’s Christmas in New York. And along with the season comes the Constance Billard/St. Jude’s bazaar. Where the only thing “bazaar” are the donated items for sale. Dan: How about an antique butter churn? Serena: Oh my gosh. That would go so well with my loom. Dan: I’m gonna […]

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Hi, Society

Gossip Girl: Hey Upper East Siders, it’s that time of year again. When the mere act of descending a staircase means you’re a woman. That’s right: Debutante season. And from what we hear, there’s been some changes to the lineup. Blair: I’m actually glad I’m going with Prince Theodore instead of Nate. The further we […]

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Blair Waldorf Must Pie!

Gossip Girl: As per Gossip Girl’s Thanksgiving tradition, I’m trading my laptop for Stovetop. And for the next 16 hours the only thing I’m dishing is seconds. When the cat’s away, the mice will play. Have fun, little rodents. Blair: I mean, who gets wasted on Thanksgiving? Serena: The holidays are lonely for people. I […]

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Seventeen Candles

Blair: After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly 20 minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a speakeasy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he’s a total pig who’ll act it never happened. Thank god. Sorry. Truthfully I’m not even Catholic. Priest: You don’t say. […]

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Victor/Victrola

Blair: You want your dad to invest in a strip joint. How Midtown. Chuck: A burlesque club. A respectable place where people can be transported to another time. Where they can feel free to let loose. No judgment. Pure escape. What happens at Victrola stays at Victrola. Jenny: Dad, have you seen a bracelet? You […]

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The Handmaiden’s Tale

Gossip Girl: Couture and canapé are just another Saturday night until you add a mask. But preparing for a ball is an event in itself. Which is why queens invented handmaidens. Dan: A ball? Rufus: Haven’t you heard? Your sister’s Cinderella. Dan: And let me guess, your wicked step-sister’s Blair Waldorf. Serena: A masked ball? […]

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Dare Devil

Gossip Girl: With Blair’s boyfriend Nate helping to close up the family yacht for the season, Blair is free to focus on the most important event of the fall: her annual sleepover. A tradition since the year 2000, each one more decadent than the last. No expense—or reputation—is spared. With everything from trundle beds to […]

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Bad News Blair

Doorman: Sorry, but you’re not on the list. Blair: Of course I am. This is my dream! Doorman: Not anymore. Gossip Girl: Hey, Upper East Siders, there’s nothing Gossip Girl likes more than a surprise. And we hear Blair Waldorf’s got a two-for-one special. Her mom, Eleanor, who just returned from Paris, and Serena van […]

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Poison Ivy

Gossip Girl: There’s plenty of upside to being the spawn of the fabulously wealthy. But the downside? Super successful parents expect nothing less from their offspring. And when it comes to college, that means the Ivys. It’s more than just getting into college, it’s setting a course for the rest of your life. And for […]

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Pilot

Gossip Girl (Kristen Bell): Hey Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. And I have the biggest news ever. One of my many sources, Melanie91, sends us this: “Spotted at Grand Central, bags in hand: Serena van der Woodsen.” Was it only a year ago our It Girl mysteriously disappeared for “boarding school”? And just as […]

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