The Valley Girls

Blair: Serena’s been in jail for over four hours. She’s already served more time than Nicole Ritchie and Lindsay Lohan combined. Chuck: She’s a socialite mistakenly accused of stealing a bracelet. I doubt they’re working her over with a phonebook. Blair: When I called Lily she said she was on her way. Where is she? […]

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Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Gossip Girl: Eventually, every queen finds herself in unfamiliar territory outside the castle walls. In Blair Waldorf’s case, the Village. Blair: NYU? What was I thinking? You know how I feel about ironic facial hair. Nate: Well you were thinking a) you’re lucky to get into a school at all. And b) you’re super lucky […]

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Seder Anything

Gossip Girl: When you lose hope in a dream sometimes all you’re left with is sleepless nights. While some call the doctor for a refill, I find the best solution is a full social calendar. Blair: Just because I lost Yale does not mean I’m wasting my time at a non-Ivy, reading Beloved six times […]

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Remains of the J

Gossip Girl: Mornings are simply more fun on the Upper East Side. Our favorite things to wake up to? The sun in the sky, the Nikkei on the rise, and a wake-up call from your lover. Or your best friend. Rufus: Lily’s doing breakfast today. She wants to talk to us. Dan: Ominous. Jenny: Or […]

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The Grandfather

Gossip Girl: Springtime on the Upper East Side. Where the winter chill is supposed to be so last season. But when mittens and scarves are still all the rage, the best thing you can do is just button up and hope for warmer days. Vanessa (Jessica Szohr): Budapest. Prague. Brest. Dubrovnik. Dan: Ah, there’s nothing […]

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The Age of Dissonance

Gossip Girl: On the Upper East Side all the world’s a stage, and the men and women merely players. But once a year, Constance/St. Jude students shed their usual roles and take on new ones for the senior class play. This year’s pick? The Age of Innocence. Dan: I just can’t believe this is a […]

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Carnal Knowledge

Gossip Girl: While Upper East Siders are hitting the snooze button, Blair Waldorf had a rude awakening when the rooster crowed at dawn this morning. Blair: Never, in my 16,982 hours of schooling, have I ever been sentenced to detention. Serena: I can’t believe you added up all the hours of class we’ve had. Makes […]

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You’ve Got Yale!

Gossip Girl: True love and betrayal. Revenge and more revenge. A heroine with an impossible goal. If only Mozart had lived on the Upper East Side. But you can keep your magic fleet, Amadeus. All this Queen wants is a golden ticket to Yale. Harold (John Shea): Is Chuck joining us? You know how he […]

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Gone With the Will

Gossip Girl: When most people lose a parent, they inherit sorrow, loss and a closet full of outdated clothes. But on the Upper East Side, death’s sad chapter comes with a silver lining. Or a gold one if your relatives invested wisely in precious metals. Blair: Morning Jack. Jack Bass (Desmond Harrington): Blair. Blair: Chuck […]

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In the Realm of the Basses

Gossip Girl: Gossip Girl here, welcoming you to the New Year. When Manhattanites who flew south for the sun return to their Park Avenue perches. Which means I have a lot of catching up to do. Word is, Serena van der Woodsen tangoed in the New Year in the plazas of Buenos Aires. Guess that […]

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O Brother, Where Bart Thou?

Gossip Girl: More towers than Trump, more bucks than Bloomberg. Bart Bass definitely made his mark on Manhattan. The passing of a public figure can shake a whole town. But the real story is always the one happening in private. Away from the headlines. At home. CeCe (Caroline Lagerfelt): Ah! Come. Eat. You need your […]

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It’s a Wonderful Lie

Gossip Girl: Winter in New York: A Gossip Girl Checklist to Surviving the Cold. Cashmere stole for ice skating at Wollman Rink. Jacques Torres hot chocolate for window shopping the holiday displays. And the perfect date to the senior snowflake charity ball. Penelope (Amanda Setton): Oh. Hello Weird Documentary Girl. Vanessa (Jessica Szohr): Bye Sad […]

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The Magnificent Archibalds

Gossip Girl: For the rest of the country, Thanksgiving is when families come together to give thanks. But on the Upper East Side, the holiday thankfully returns to its roots: lying, manipulation and betrayal. And from what we hear, just like the Indians, someone else is being pushed out of their home. Blair: Even though […]

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Bonfire of the Vanity

Dan: I’m amazed at how calm you’re acting. Your fifteen year old daughter just moved in with her crazy model friend. Rufus: And with the model’s mother. Whom I met today for lunch. And granted Agnes’ mother is a little more Courtney Love than June Cleaver, but she’s a committed parent. She’s gone through similar […]

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There Might Be Blood

Gossip Girl: Spotted at Mood: Jenny Humphrey buying 16 yards of tulle. But since when does Eleanor Waldorf pay for her purchases with a penny jar? They say a stitch in time saves nine. Will it save Little J? Aaron Rose (John Patrick Amedori): Hello. Serena: Hey. Um, what are you doing here? Aaron: I […]

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Prêt-à-Poor J

Gossip Girl: Every girl fantasizes about finding her Prince Charming. But if that Prince refuses to come… Dorota: You are late. Time for breakfast. Blair: I’ll be down in a minute. I just have to finish something. …A girl has to take matters into her own hands. Dorota: Don’t forget: God always watching Miss Blair. […]

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Chuck in Real Life

Gossip Girl: There’s nothing quite like Autumn in New York. But it’s not only the leaves that change. Something in the air brings out the true colors in everyone. Bart (Robert John Burke): Did you get the little suit that I laid out for you, Serena? Serena: That was for me? I thought the housekeepers […]

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