Ghosts Juliet “Jules” O’Hara (Maggie Lawson): So. How did it go? Lassiter: I’m winning. Juliet: How are you winning? Lassiter: I answered every question in character as Tom “Gunney” Highway. Juliet: Who is Tom “Gunny” Highway? Lassiter: Clint Eastwood’s character? In Heartbreak Ridge? Juliet: It’s not a contest, Carlton. Lassiter: Don’t kid yourself O’Hara. Murder?… […]
Ghosts 1995 Teen Shawn (James Roday): I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask for that World’s Greatest Dad mug back. Henry Spencer (Corbin Bernsen): Oh just keep talking, Shawn. Teen Shawn: You keep talking. Henry: Oh don’t worry, I will. Like when I read you your rights. Teen Shawn: Oo. I have rights. That’ll […]
Ghosts 1995 Henry: That’s it! Somebody, book him. You! Beanpole. Get over here, fingerprint him now. Young Lassiter (Timothy Omundson): Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Me? Henry: Never mind, rookie. I’ll do it myself. Present Day Lassiter: You wanted to see me, Chief? Chief Karen Vick (Kirsten Nelson): Yes. It has come to my attention, […]
Ghosts Shawn Spencer (James Roday): Dude, I’m freaking out. You’ve got to help me. Burton “Gus” Guster (Dulé Hill): What’s wrong? Shawn: My mom’s here. Gus: She’s back in the country? Shawn: Back in the country? Try back in the city. Try downstairs in my dad’s kitchen. Gus: Where are you? Shawn: Hiding out in […]
1987 Henry: People do not become bloodthirsty monsters after they got shot. In fact I ‘ve had a lot of experience in the field with puncture wounds and there’s no way a giant dart to the lungs creates a six-inch hole visible on the other side. Young Shawn: Really? Henry: No way! I mean maybe […]
1987 Henry: Shawn. Where’s that nice new sweater vest your mom just put on you for picture day? Young Shawn: Oh yeah… that. It wasn’t working for us. We chose the Knight Rider shirt instead. Mom loves Kitt. Henry: You know how a cop distinguishes when somebody’s lying? Young Shawn: When it sounds like that? […]
1987 Young Gus: We’re starting a secet club. Henry: The Burn Down the House Club? Young Gus: The Gus and Shawn Club. Young Shawn: It’s actually the Shawn and Gus Club. Henry: You know, a club needs regulations, bylaws. You guys got any rules? Young Gus: Yes. No girls. Young Shawn: Everybody has to be […]
1987 Young Shawn: Dad. What are you watching? Henry: Oh, nothing, Shawn. It’s your mom’s stupid soap opera. She left it on, I was watching it while I was taking a nap, actually. Young Shawn: Do you sleep with your eyes wide open? Henry: Okay, Shawn. Yes, maybe I was half-watching it. Not because I […]
1987 Grandpa Spencer (Brian Doyle-Murray): Put that down. We’re not here to feed the birds. That’s just a cover to throw your dad off. Young Shawn: Well if we’re not here to feed the birds, what are we here to do, Grandpa? Grandpa Spencer: We’re here to girl watch. Everything they do is magical, mysterious. […]
1987 Henry: Come on, boys. Sit up. Napkins in laps. Now listen, we don’t get to go out very often. So I want you to order something special. Harbor Grill is one of the nicest restaurants in Santa Barbara. Young Gus: I’m gonna have nachos! Newly-engaged guy is checking out the hostess Young Shawn: By […]
1987 Young Gus: This sucks. I know! We were tied a hundred and fourteen to a hundred and fourteen. And I was up. Young Gus: You weren’t supposed to be playing with my new ball. I’ll give you a thousand dollars to go get it. Young Gus: Two thousand. Done. Present Day Shawn: The Christmas […]
1987 Young Shawn: Sorry, Dad, we were just checking out that super cop. Henry: Shawn, that is not a super cop. That guy is a bounty hunter. Young Shawn: What’s that, a cop with a cooler name? Henry: He’s not cool, Shawn. He’s a nuisance. He’s a privately-hired half-criminal operating outside of the law. Present […]
1987 Henry: So then this guy with pliers comes in. Probably with safety goggles, maybe some sort of fire retardant coverall. He starts doing his thing. Twisting and turning. There’s all sorts of fluids just spraying all over the place. Then this hydraulic lift comes into play, wheeling everything out of there. And there you […]
1987 Henry: I’m still waiting, Shawn. Young Shawn: Okay. I’m going to take your pointy sad-faced guy for my horsey— Henry: Stop. Stop. What is this piece called? Young Shawn: I call him Dwight. Henry: What is this one called? Young Shawn: B.A. Baracus. Present Day Shawn: I’m sensing that he always takes you out […]
1987 Henry: Is that a hint of cinnamon I’m tasting? Young Shawn: Oh yeah, just a little. Henry: And I’m detecting just a touch of cilantro and… thyme. Am I right? Young Shawn: Woah, Dad! You’re really sharp. Henry: Yeah, I am. Gus? Wanna come out of the pantry? Henry: Shawn, what have I told […]
1987 Young Jimmy Nicholas: Give it up, Spencer. Or I’ll shove a tuna nickel sandwich right in your grill! Young Gus: I think it’s a knuckle sandwich. Young Shawn: Okay okay. Young Jimmy: And from the Kangaroos. {Shawn gets the money from his shoes} Present Day Shawn: Jimmy Nickles called. Gus: Jimmy Nickles called us? […]
1987 Henry: I’m sorry, son. But he just outpedaled you. You understand? Young Shawn: I think so. {Gus rings his bell}. I got it! I had the wrong song playing that time. Best two out of three. Present Day Lassiter: Unlike everyone else around here, I’m not fooled by the fact that you wear [?] […]
1987 Mr. Petlic: I’d be hard pressed to believe that a child of Shawn’s age could be capable of such detailed forgery. Henry: Well you don’t know my son. No offense, but you are the vice principal of a middle school, not a handwriting expert. That testimony’s not going to hold up in court. Mr. […]
1987 Young Gus: This head is to exact scale. It took me three months to make it. Yours took five minutes. Young Shawn: No, Gus. You’re totally wrong. It took me a whole hour. Check this out. {his car-powered dinosaur takes off} Young Gus: I hate you, Shawn. Present Day Shawn: Is there a problem? […]
American Duos 1987 Young Shawn (Liam James): What’s with the Michael Jackson outfit? That’s like two years old! Young Gus (Carlos McCullers): I got scared! Young Shawn: You were supposed to be Billy Ocean. Why would Michael Jackson sing with Roland Orzabal? Young Gus: Why would Billy Ocean sing with Roland Orzabal? Young Shawn: ‘Cause […]
American Duos 1987 Young Shawn (Liam James): What’s with the Michael Jackson outfit? That’s like two years old! Young Gus (Carlos McCullers): I got scared! Young Shawn: You were supposed to be Billy Ocean. Why would Michael Jackson sing with Roland Orzabal? Young Gus: Why would Billy Ocean sing with Roland Orzabal? Young Shawn: ‘Cause […]