Yang 3 in 2D
1990 Present Day […]
Category: Season 5
Dead Bear Walking
Lassiter: This is my sister. Buzz: Not genetically though, right? Lassiter: Yes, genetically, you idiot! What’s the matter with you? Okay, I get it. There might be a little age difference between us, but I can assure you, although she may not have been traditionally planned, she was a happy accident. Shawn: Hey Lassie. Hey […]
The Polarizing Express
Present Day Katie: KSRP23 has obtained the video footage that lead to the mistrial. News Anchor: Thanks for that report, Katie. The person seen in the video conducting that unauthorized search is one Shawn Spencer, a psychic consultant for the Santa Barbara police department. Gus: I told you not to go into that building without […]
We’d Like to Thank the Academy
Shawn: Lassie! We totally caught the bad guys. Lassiter: Yeah. What do you think you’re doing crashing a stakeout? Shawn: You’re welcome. Gus: Do you think the chief called us in to congratulate us on our bust yesterday? Shawn: Most definitely. I’m also assuming that there will be an award involved. Gus: A busty. Shawn: […]
Dual Spires
Present Day Shawn: Dude, do you know they make silent window shades? Some woman in Washington invented them back in the early-90s. Gus: Since when is the sound of opening and closing shades so disruptive that it needs to be alleviated? Shawn: Why do you have to hate on other people’s triumphs of innovation. Gus: […]
In Plain Fright
1990 Young Shawn: Gus, you’ve been on this ride like twenty times. Why are you chickening out now? Young Gus: This ride just doesn’t seem mechanically sound. How do we know it’s not going to break and eject us out of the building? Young Shawn: Gus, the ride is twelve inches off the ground. Young […]
Extradition II: The Actual Extradition Part
Gus: First class tickets. Shawn: And three nights hotel. Paid for. Gus: By a world class criminal. Shawn: Please. Despereaux staged art thefts. That’s barely a crime. Gus: I don’t think you’re allowed to accept lavish gifts from people you sent to prison. Shawn: Says who? The sultan of Canada? Look, all Despereaux wants is […]
One, Maybe Two, Ways Out
Santa Barbara 0837 Hours Gus: This is because she’s dating Declan now. Shawn: I wouldn’t call it dating. Gus: What would you call it? Shawn: Dating. I just didn’t want to say it. Shawn: My spirit has to remain unchained, Gus. Like my melodies. Shawn: Lassie, what’s up? Lassiter: Spencer. I just got a call […]
Shawn 2.0
1990 Young Gus: Why can’t I ever beat him? Henry: ‘Cause you got no game, Gus. I’d stick to tapping. Henry: Winners don’t need spots. You know what they need? Young Gus: Steroids! Henry: Nobody’s using that stuff, Gus. That’s just a rumor. I’ll tell you what they need, Shawn. They need a belief that […]
Viagra Falls
1990 Chief Herb Wilkins: Henry. You screwed up. Henry: With all due respect, I got the guy. Chief Wilkins: He had a partner. Henry: I’ll get him too. Chief Wilkins: You’re a detective now. The stakes are higher. Present Day Chief Wilkins: Okay, you come and get me. I’ll squeeze the coward out of both […]
Ferry Tale
1990 Young Shawn: Alright, Gus. We trained long and hard. Hours of practice after school, all those Joe Piscopo-endorsed protein shakes. But it’ll all be worth it if we win that Mongoose BMX bike at the Police Department Picnic. Young Gus: Wait. How did we decide who gets the bike? Young Shawn: A good question. […]
Shawn and Gus In Drag (Racing)
1990 Young Shawn: I can’t reach the brake! Gus, get down there and stop us! Young Gus: Wait, why do I have to be the feet? How come you just can’t be taller? Henry: What do you think you’re doing?! Young Shawn: Well the important question is, what are you doing home? Henry: I’m a […]
Chivalry Is Not Dead… But Someone Is
Present Day Gus: Will you focus, Shawn? We need this case. Do something. Lassiter: Spencer, we don’t need your particular brand of theatrics here this evening. Go home and go back to bed. Shawn: Lassie, are you kidding me? The death of this man is like staring my own mortality in the face. If someone’s […]
Not Even Close… Encounters
1990 Present Day […]
Feet Don’t Kill Me Now
1990 Young Shawn: Hey Gus. What are you doing? Young Gus: Just playing… board grass. Young Shawn: Gus, let me see what’s behind your back. {he shows him} Tap shoes? Are you kidding me? Young Gus: Shawn, I like tap dancing. In fact, I’m pretty good at it. When people pick on me I just […]
Romeo and Juliet and Juliet
1990 Young Shawn (Skyler Gisondo): Okay, I’m warning you guys. Gus knows karate. Young Gus (Carlos McCullers II) : Um, I don’t know karate. Young Shawn: Yes you do. You studied Wushu. Young Gus: That’s Chinese. Young Shawn: Dude, trust me. Karate sounds more intimidating. Young Gus: I’ve only had two lessons. Young Shawn: That’s […]