Series 6

The Doctor’s Wife

The Doctor: …and then we discovered it wasn’t the Robot King after all, it was the real one. Fortunately I was able to reattach the head.

The Doctor: Oh, it’s the warning lights! I’m getting rid of those. They never stop!

Amy: What was that?
The Doctor: The door. It knocked.
Rory: Right. We are in deep space.
The Doctor: Very very deep. And somebody’s knocking.

The Doctor: Oh come here. Come here, you scrumptious little beauty.
Rory: A box?
Amy: Doctor, what is it?
The Doctor: I’ve got mail!

The Doctor: Time Lord emergency messaging system. In an emergency we wrap up our thoughts in psychic containers and send them through time and space. Anyway. There’s a living Time Lord still out there! And it’s one of the good ones.
Rory: You said there weren’t any other Time Lords left.
The Doctor: There aren’t! No Time Lords left anywhere in the Universe. But the Universe isn’t where we’re going. {he tosses it to Amy} See that snake. The mark of The Corsair. Fantastic bloke. He had that snake as a tattoo in every regeneration. Didn’t feel like himself unless he had that tattoo. Or herself a couple of times. Oo hoo! She was a bad girl!

Rory: What is happening!?
The Doctor: We are leaving the Universe!
Amy: How can you leave the Universe?
The Doctor: With enormous difficulty. Right now I’m burning up TARDIS rooms to give us some [wally]. Goodbye swimming pool! Goodbye scullery! Sorry for this, squash court seven.

Amy: Okay. Okay. Where are we?
The Doctor: Outside the Universe. Where we’ve never ever been.

Rory: Is that meant to be happening?
The Doctor: The power, it’s draining. Everything’s draining. But it can’t, that’s… that’s impossible.
Rory: What is that?
The Doctor: It’s as if the matrix—the soul of the TARDIS—has just vanished. Where would it go?

Amy: So what kind of trouble is your friend in?
The Doctor: He was in a bind. A bit of a pickle. Sort of… distressed.
Amy: Ah, you can’t just say you don’t know?

Rory: What is this place? The Scrapyard at the End of the Universe?
The Doctor: Not end of. Outside of.
Rory: How can we be outside the Universe? The Universe is everything.
The Doctor: Imagine a great big soap bubble with one of those tiny little bubbles on the outside.
Rory: Okay.
The Doctor: Well it’s nothing like that.

The Doctor: Completely drained. Look at her!
Amy: Wait, so we’re in a tiny bubble universe sticking to the side of the bigger bubble universe?
The Doctor: Yeah. No! But if it help, yes.

The Doctor: This place is full of rift energy. She’ll probably refuel just by being here. Now, this place. What do we think? Gravity’s almost Earth normal. Air’s breathable. But it smells like—
Amy: Armpits.
The Doctor: Armpits!

Rory: What about all this stuff? Where did this come from?
The Doctor: Well there’s a rift. Now and then stuff gets sucked through it. Not a bubble, a plughole. The Universe has a plughole and we’ve just fallen down it.

The Doctor: Why am I a thief? What have I stolen?
Idris: Me. Are you going to steal me. You have stolen me. You are stealing me. Oh! Tenses are difficult, aren’t they?

Idris: Oh, but now you’re angry. No, you’re not. You will be angry. The little boxes will make you angry.
The Doctor: Sorry? Little what? Boxes?
Idris: Your chin is hilarious!

The Doctor: Oh hello!
Amy: Doctor, what is that?
The Doctor: Oh, no, it’s all right. It’s an Ood. Oods are good. Love an Ood.

Rory: What was that? Was that him?
The Doctor: No, no. It’s picking up something else. But that’s, that’s not possible. That’s, that’s— Who else is here? Tell me! Show me! Show me!

The Doctor: The House. What’s the House?
Auntie: The House is all around you, my sweets. You are standing on him. This is the House. This world. would you like to meet him?
Rory: Meet him?
The Doctor: I’d love to.

Amy: What’s wrong? What were those voices?
The Doctor: Time Lords. It’s not just the Corsair. Somewhere close by there are lots and lots of Time Lords.

Uncle: Come. Come come. You can see House and he can look at you.
The Doctor: I see. This asteroid is sentient.

The Doctor: So you’re like a… sea urchin. Hard on the surface—that’s the planet we’re walking on. Big squashy ugly thing inside. That’s you.
The House: That is correct, Time Lord.
The Doctor: Ah! So you’ve met Time Lords before.
The House: Many travellers come through the rift. Like Auntie and Uncle and Nephew. I repair them when they break.
The Doctor: So there are Time Lords here then.
The House: Not anymore. But there have been many TARDISs on my back in days gone by.
The Doctor: Ah. Well there won’t be anymore after us. Last Time Lord. Last TARDIS.
The House: A pity. Your people were so kind. Be here in safety, Doctor. Rest. Feed, if you will.

Rory: We’re not actually gonna stay here, are we?
The Doctor: Well it seems like a friendly planet. Literally.

Rory: So as soon as the TARDIS is refueled we go, yeah?
The Doctor: No! There are Time Lords here. I heard them and they need me.
Amy: But you told me about your people and you told me what you did.
The Doctor: Yes, yes. But if they’re like The Corsair they’re good ones and I can save them.
Amy: And then tell them you destroyed all the others?
The Doctor: I can explain. Tell them why I had to.
Amy: You want to be forgiven.
The Doctor: Don’t we all?

The Doctor: My screwdriver, I left it in the TARDIS. It’s in my jacket.
Rory: You’re wearing your jacket.
The Doctor: My other jacket.
Rory: You have two of those?

Amy: Hey, we’re here. The screwdriver’s in your jacket, yeah?
The Doctor: Yeah. It’s around somewhere. Have a good look. {he locks the TARDIS door with his screwdriver}

The Doctor: Just admiring your Time Lord distress signal collection. Nice job. Brilliant job. Really thought I had some friends here. But this is what the Ood translator picked up. Cries for help from the long dead.

The Doctor: How many Time Lords have you lured here the way you lured me? And what happened to them all?
Auntie: House, House is kind and he is wise.
The Doctor: “House repairs you when you break.” Yes I know! But how does he mend you? You’ve got the eyes of a twenty-year-old.
Uncle: Oh, thank you.
The Doctor: No, no. I mean it literally. Your eyes are thirty years younger than the rest of you. Your ears don’t match. Your right arm is two inches longer than your left. And how’s your dancing? ‘Cause you’ve got two left feet. Patchwork people. You’ve been repaired and patched up so often I doubt there’s anything left of what used to be you.

The Doctor: I had an umbrella like you once.
Auntie: Oh. No. It’s been a great arm for me, this.
The Doctor seeing the snake tattoo: The Corsair.

The Doctor: You gave me hope and then you took it away. That’s enough to make anyone dangerous. God knows what it’ll do to me. Basically, run!

The Doctor: How did you know about the boxes? You said they’d make me angry. How did you know?
Idris: Ah. It’s my thief.
The Doctor: Who are you?
Idris: Hm. It’s about time.

The Doctor: I don’t understand. Who are you?
Idris: Do you really not know me? Just because they put me in here?
The Doctor: They said you were dangerous.
Idris: Not the cage, stupid. In here. They put me in here. I’m the… Oh, what do you call me? We travel. I go {she makes the TARDIS sound}.
The Doctor: The TARDIS?
Idris: Time and Relative Dimension in Space. Yes that’s it. Names are funny. It’s me. I’m the TARDIS.
The Doctor: No you’re not! You’re a bitey mad lady. The TARDIS is up-and-downy stuff in a big blue box.
Idris: Yes, that’s me. A type 40 TARDIS. I was already a museum piece when you were young. And the first time you touched my console, you said—
The Doctor: I said you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever known.
Idris: Then you stole me. And I stole you.
The Doctor: I borrowed you.
Idris: Borrowing implies the eventual intention to return the thing that was taken. What makes you think I would ever give you back?

The Doctor: You’re the TARDIS.
Idris: Yes.
The Doctor: My TARDIS.
Idris: My Doctor. Oh! We have now reached the point in the conversation where you open the lock. {he opens the lock}

The Doctor: But why? Why pull the living soul from a TARDIS and pop it in a tiny human head? What does it want you for?
Idris: Oh, it doesn’t want me.
The Doctor: How do you know?
Idris: House eats TARDISs.
The Doctor: House what? What do you mean?
Idris: I don’t know, something I heard you say.
The Doctor: When?
Idris: In the future.
The Doctor: House eats TARDISs?
Idris: Oh, there you go. What are fish fingers?
The Doctor: When do I say that?
Idris: Any second.
The Doctor: Of course! House feeds on rift energy and TARDISs are bursting with it. And not raw. Lovely and cooked. Processed food. Mmmm. Fish fingers.
Idris: Do fish have fingers?
The Doctor: But you can’t eat a TARDIS. It would destroy you, unless. Unless.
Idris: Unless. You deleted the TARDIS matrix first.

The Doctor: Okay, right. I don’t… I really don’t know what to do. That’s a new feeling.

The Doctor: It’s gone.
Idris: Eaten?
The Doctor: No, it left. Not eaten, hijacked. But why?

Auntie: It’s your fault, isn’t it, Sweets? ‘Cause you told House it was the last TARDIS. House can’t feed on them if there’s none more coming, can he?
Uncle: So now he’s off to your universe to find more TARDISs.
The Doctor: It won’t.
Auntie: Oh it’ll think of something.

Idris: You’re the Doctor. Focus.
The Doctor: On what?! How? I’m a mad man with a box without a box. I’m stuck down the Plughole at the End of the Universe in a stupid old junkyard! Oh.
Idris: Oh what?
The Doctor: No, I’m not.
Idris: Not what?
The Doctor: ‘Cause it’s not a junkyard. Don’t you see it’s not a junkyard?
Idris: What is it then?
The Doctor: It’s a TARDIS junkyard. Come on!

The Doctor: Oo. Sorry. Do you have a name?
Idris: Seven hundred years, finally he asks.
The Doctor: And what do I call you?
Idris: I think you call me… Sexy.
The Doctor: Only when we’re alone.
Idris: We are alone.
The Doctor: Oh. Come on then, Sexy.

The Doctor: Valley of half-eaten TARDISs. You thinking what I’m thinking?
Idris: I’m thinking all of my sisters are dead. That they were devoured. And that we are looking at their corpses.
The Doctor: Ah. Sorry, no. I wasn’t thinking that.
Idris: No. You were thinking you could build a working TARDIS console out of broken remnants of a hundred different models. And you don’t care that it’s impossible?
The Doctor: It’s not impossible as long as we’re alive. Rory and Amy need me. So yeah, we’re gonna build a TARDIS.

The Doctor: Yes. Yes, I have actually rebuilt a TARDIS before, you know. I know what I’m doing.
Idris: You’re like a nine-year-old trying to rebuild a motorbike in his bedroom. And you never read the instructions.
The Doctor: I always read the instructions.
Idris: There’s a sign on my front door. You have been walking past it for seven hundred years. What does it say?
The Doctor: That’s not instructions!
Idris: There’s an instruction at the bottom. What does it say?
The Doctor: “Pull to open.”
Idris: Yes, and what do you do?
The Doctor: I push!
Idris: Every single time. Seven hundred years. Police box doors open out the way.
The Doctor: I think I have earned the right to open my front doors anyway I want.
Idris: Your front doors? Have you any idea how childish that sounds?
The Doctor: Oh. You are not my mother.
Idris: And you are not my child.

The Doctor: You know, since we’re talking with mouths—not really an opportunity that comes along very often—I just want to say, you know you have never been very reliable.
Idris: And you have?
The Doctor: You didn’t always take me where I wanted to go.
Idris: No, but I always took you where you needed to go.
The Doctor: You did.

The Doctor: Look at us! Talking! wouldn’t it be amazing if we could always talk, even when you’re stuck inside the box?
Idris: But you know I’m not constructed that way. I exist across all space and time and you talk and run around and bring home strays!

Idris: Do you ever wonder why I chose you all those years ago?
The Doctor: I chose you. You were unlocked.
Idris: Of course I was. I wanted to see the Universe so I stole a Time Lord and I ran away. And you were the only one mad enough.

The Doctor: Right. Perfect. Look at that. What could possibly go wrong? {something springs out}. That’s fine. That always happens.

The Doctor: I’ve got nothing.
Idris: Oh my beautiful idiot. You have what you’ve always had. You’ve got me.

The Doctor: Can you get a message to Amy? The telepathic circuits are online.
Idris: Which one’s Amy? The pretty one?

Idris: Hello Pretty!
Rory: What the hell is that?
The Doctor: Don’t worry! Telepathic messaging. {to Idris} No, that’s Rory.
Idris: You have to go to the old control room. I’m putting the root in your head. When you get there use the purple slider on the nearest panel to lower the shields.
The Doctor: The pretty one?

The Doctor: You’re doing it, you sexy thing!
Idris: See, you do call me that. Is it my name?
The Doctor: You bet it’s your name!

The Doctor: She’s a woman. And she’s the TARDIS.
Amy: Did you wish really hard?
The Doctor: Shut up! Not like that.
Idris: Hello. I’m Sexy.
The Doctor: Oh! Still shut up.

Rory: Where’s Nephew?
Amy: He was standing right where you materialized.
The Doctor: Ah. Well. He must have been redistributed.
Rory: Meaning what?
The Doctor: You’re breathing him. Another Ood I failed to save.

The House: Doctor. I did not expect you.
The Doctor: Well that’s me all over, isn’t it? The lovely old unexpected me.

The Doctor: Hey. Hang in there, Old Girl. Not long now. It’ll be over soon.
Idris: I always liked it when you called me Old Girl.

The Doctor: Yes. I mean you could do that but it just won’t work. Hardwired fail safe. Living things from rooms that are deleted are auromatically deposited in the main control room. But thanks for the lift.

The House: Fear me. I’ve killed hundreds of Time Lords.
The Doctor: Fear me. I’ve killed all of them.

The Doctor: Yep, you’ve defeated us. Me, my lovely friends here. And last—but definitely not least—the TARDIS matrix herself. A living consciousness you ripped out of this very control room and locked up into a human body. And look at her.
Rory: Doctor, she’s stopped breathing.
The House: Enough. That is enough.
The Doctor: No. It’s never enough. You’ve forced the TARDIS into a body so she’d burn out safely, a very long way away from this control room. A flesh body can’t hold the TARDIS matrix and live. Look at her body, House.
The House: And you think I should mourn her?
The Doctor: No. I think you should be very very careful about what you let back into this control room. You took her from her home. And now she’s back in her box again. And she’s free.
The House: No! Doctor! Stop this! Stop this now!
The Doctor: Look at my girl. Look at her go. Bigger on the inside! See, House. That’s your problem. Size of a planet but inside you are just so small.
The House: Make it stop.
The Doctor: Finish him off, girl.

Idris: Doctor. Are you there? It’s so very dark in here.
The Doctor: I’m here. Hey.
Idris: I’ve been looking for a word. A big, complicated word, but so sad. I found it now.
The Doctor: What word?
Idris: “Alive.” I’m alive.
The Doctor: Alive isn’t sad.
Idris: It’s sad when it’s over. I’ll always be here. But this is when we talked. And now even that has come to an end.

Idris: There’s something I didn’t get to say to you.
The Doctor: Goodbye.
Idris: No. I just wanted to say, Hello. Hello Doctor. It’s so very very nice to meet you.
The Doctor: Please. I don’t want you to.
Idris: I love you.

Rory: How’s it going under there?
The Doctor: Just putting a firewall around the matrix. Almost done.
Amy: Are you going to make her talk again?
The Doctor: Can’t.
Rory: Why not?
Amy: Spacey wacey, isn’t it?
The Doctor: Well actually it’s because the Time Lords discovered that if you take an eleventh dimensional matrix and fold it into a mechanical then— Yes, it’s spacey wacey!

Rory: At the end, she was talking. She kept repeating something. I don’t know what it meant.
The Doctor: What did she say?
Rory: “The only water in the forest is the river.” She said we’d need to know it someday. It doesn’t make sense, does it?
The Doctor: Not yet.

The Doctor: You okay?
Rory: No. I watched her die. I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it still does. I’m a nurse.
The Doctor: Letting it get to you. You know what that’s called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts.

The Doctor: Big finish. Two more minutes, then we’re off. The Eye of Orion’s restful. If you like restful. I could never get the hang of restful. What do you think, dear? Huh? Where should we take the kids this time?
Amy: Look at you pair. It’s always you and her isn’t it? Long after the rest of us have gone. A boy and his box off to see the universe.
The Doctor: Well you say that as if it’s a bad thing. But honestly it’s the best thing there is.

The Doctor: The House deleted all the bedrooms. I should probably make you two a new bedroom. You’d like that wouldn’t you?
Amy: Okay. Um. Doctor, this time could we lose the bunkbeds?
The Doctor: No! Bunk beds are cool. A bed. With a ladder. You can’t beat that.

The Doctor: Are you there? Can you hear me? No. Obviously not. Okay. The Eye of Orion or wherever we need to go. {the lever moves on its own and the TARDIS takes off}.

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The Rebel Flesh

The Doctor: Who wants fish and chips? {Rory raises a finger} I’ll drop you both off. Take your time. Don’t rush!
Rory: Ah. And you?
The Doctor: I have things to do. Things involving other things.

Rory: Doctor, my tummy’s going funny.
The Doctor: Well the gyrator dislocated. Target tracking is out. Assume the position! {the TARDIS eventually stabilizes} Textbook landing.

The Doctor: Behold! A cockerel. Love a cockerel. And underneath a monastery. Ah, thirteenth century.

The Doctor: This fissure’s new. The solar tsunami sent out a huge wave of gamma particles. This is caused by a magnetic quake that occurs just before the wave hits.
Amy: Well, the monastery’s standing.
The Doctor: Yeah, for now.

The Doctor: Ceramic inner-lining. Something corrosive. They’re pumping something nasty off this island to the mainland.
Rory: My mom’s a massive fan of Dusty Springfield.
The Doctor: Who isn’t.

Amy: So where are these Dusty Springfield lovin’ monks then?
The Doctor: I think we’re here. This is it.
Rory: Doctor, what are you talking about? We’ve never been here before.
Amy: We came here by accident.
The Doctor: Accident? Yes, I know. Accident.

The Doctor: Acid. They’re pumping acid off this island. That’s old stuff. Fresh acid, you wouldn’t have a finger.

The Doctor: There are people coming. Well, almost.
Amy: Almost coming?
The Doctor: Almost people.

Overhead: Halt and remain calm!
The Doctor: Well we’ve halted. How are we all doing on the calm front?

The Doctor: Actually. You’re in big trouble.
Cleaves: Meteorological department? Since when?
The Doctor: Since you were hit by a solar wave.
Cleaves: Which we survived.
The Doctor: Just, by the look of it. And there’s a bigger one on the way.
Cleaves: Which we’ll also survive.

Cleaves: Alright, Weatherman, your I.D. checks out. If there’s another solar storm, what are you going to do about it? Hand out sun block?
The Doctor: I need to see your critical systems.
Cleaves: Which one?
The Doctor: You know which one.

The Doctor: Strange. It was like… For a moment there it was scanning me.
Cleaves: Doctor. Get back, Doctor, leave it alone!

The Doctor: Incredible! You have no idea. No idea. I mean I felt it in my mind. I reached out to it. And it to me.
Cleaves: Don’t fiddle with the [?], Doctor.
The Doctor: How can you be so blinkered? It’s alive, so alive. You’re planting your lives—your personalities—directly into it.

The Doctor: Well I can see why you keep it in the church. Miracle of life.
Buzzer: No need to get poncey. It’s just gunge.

The Doctor: Please. You’re making a massive mistake here. You’re right at the crossroads. Only don’t turn the wrong way. If you don’t—if you don’t—prepare for this storm you are all in terrible danger. Understand?
Cleaves: My factory. My rules.

The Doctor: I’ve got to get to that cockerel before all hell breaks loose. {he stops} I never thought I’d have to say that again. Amy. Breathe.

The Doctor: How long would you say we were unconscious for, please?
Cleaves: Not long, a minute, two minutes.
The Doctor: I’d hazard we’ve been out a teensy bit longer.
Cleaves: For how long?
The Doctor: An hour. I’ve seen whole worlds turn inside-out in an hour. A lot could go wrong in an hour.

Jimmy: That’s my record. Who’s playing my record?
The Doctor: Your ‘gangers. They’ve gone walkabout.
Cleaves: No. It’s impossible. They’re not active. Cars don’t fly themselves, cranes don’t lift themselves and ‘gangers don’t…

Jimmy: This is just like the Isle of Sheppey.
The Doctor: It seems the storm has animated your ‘gangers.
Cleaves: They’ve ransacked everything.
The Doctor: Not ransacked. Searched.
Cleaves: Through our stuff!
The Doctor: Their stuff.
Jimmy: Searching for what?
The Doctor: Confirmation. They need to know their memories are real.
Buzzer: Oh, so they’ve got flamin’ memories now?
The Doctor: They’ll feel compelled to connect to their lives.
Cleaves: Their stolen lives.
The Doctor: No, Cleaves. You gave them this. You put in your personalities, emotions, traits, memories, secrets, everything. You gave them your lives. Human lives. Ah-mazing. You surprised they walked off with them?

Jimmy: We need to protect ourselves.
The Doctor: Are you a violent man, Jimmy?
Jimmy: No.
The Doctor: Then why would the other Jimmy be?

Cleaves: Tell me you can eat at a time like this, Doctor.
The Doctor: You told me that we were out cold for a few minutes, Cleaves. When in fact it was an hour.
Cleaves: Sorry. I just assumed—
The Doctor: Well it’s not your fault. Like I said, “they’re disorientated.”

The Doctor hands Cleaves the plate.
The Doctor: It’s hot. {she drops it}. Transmatter’s still a little rubbery. Nerve endings are not quite fused properly.
Cleaves: What are you talking about?
The Doctor: It’s okay.
Cleaves: Why didn’t I feel that?
The Doctor: You will. You’ll stabilize.
Cleaves: No. Stop it. You’re playing stupid games. Stop it!

The Doctor: You don’t have to hide. Please. Trust me. I’m the Doctor.

Amy: Doctor, Rory.
The Doctor: Rory.
Amy: Rory!
The Doctor: Oh Rory. Rory! Always with the Rory!

Amy: Doctor, you said they wouldn’t be violent.
The Doctor: I did say they were scared. And angry.
Jimmy:
And they’re technology. That’s what you said. You seem to know something about the Flesh.
Amy: Do you? Doctor?

Jimmy: You’re not a weather man. Why are you really here?
The Doctor: I’ve have to talk to them. I can fix this.

The Doctor: It is too dangerous out here with acid leaks!
Amy: We have to find Rory.
The Doctor: Yes, I’m going back to the TARDIS. Wait for me in the dining hall. I want us to keep together, okay? No more wandering off!
Amy: What about Rory?
The Doctor: Well it will be safer to look for Rory and Jennifer with the TARDIS.

The Doctor: Exit.
Jimmy: Keep going straight, can’t miss it. But you’re never going to get your vehicle in here.
The Doctor: I’m a great parker.

The Doctor to the TARDIS: What are you doing down there?

The Doctor: Hello. How are we all getting on?
Ganger Cleaves: Why don’t you tell us.
The Doctor: Well we have two choices. The first is to tear each other apart—not my favorite. The second is to knuckle down and work together. I’m here to work out how best we can help you.

The Doctor: Now I know it’s hard for you to hold your fully-human form. That’s why you keep shifting between the flesh stages. But do try. It’ll make the others less scared of you.

Ganger Cleaves: Alright, Doctor. You’ve brought us together. Now what?
The Doctor: Before we do anything, I have one very important question. Has anybody got a pair of shoes I can borrow? Size ten. But I should warn you, I have very wide feet.

The Doctor: The flesh was never merely moss. These are not copies. The storm has hardwired them. They are becoming people.
Jimmy: With souls.
Dicken: Rubbish. {he sneezes}
Ganger Dicken: Bless you.
The Doctor: Well, we were all jelly once. Little jelly eggs, sitting in goo.
Amy: Yeah, thanks. Too much information.
The Doctor: We are not talking about an accident that needs to be mopped up. We are talking about sacred life. Do you understand? Good. Now the TARDIS is trapped in an acid pool. Once I can reach her I can get you all off this island. Humans and ‘gangers. Eh? How does that sound?

The Doctor: You stopped his heart. He had a heart! Aorta, valves! A real human heart! And you stopped it.

The Doctor: You’ve crossed one hell of a line, Cleaves, you’ve killed one of them. They’re coming back. In a big way.

Jimmy: This is insane. We’re fighting ourselves.
The Doctor: Yes, it’s insane. And it’s about to get even more insaner. Is that a word? Show yourself! Right now!
Amy: Doctor! We are trapped in here and Rory’s out there with them. Hello! We can’t get to the TARDIS and we can’t even leave the island.
The Doctor Ganger: Correctively respect, Pond. It’s frightening. Unexpected. Frankly, a total utter splattering mess on the carpet. But I am certain—one hundred percent certain—that we can work this out. Trust me. I’m the Doctor.

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The Almost People

Jimmy: What’s happening?
The Doctor Ganger: I wonder if we’ll get back. Yes. One day. {he screams in pain} Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow!
The Doctor: The Flesh is struggling to cope with our past regenerations. Hold on.
The Doctor Ganger: Would you like a jelly, baby? Why! Why!
The Doctor: Why why what?
The Doctor Ganger: Hello, I’m the Doctor. No! Let it go, we’ve moved on!

Amy: Doctor! We need you, get over here.
The Doctor Ganger: Hello.
Amy: Doctor!
The Doctor: Cybermats.
The Doctor Ganger: Do we have time for this?
The Doctor: We make time. I’d like more proof that you’re me. Cybermats.
The Doctor Ganger: Created by the Cybermen. They kill by feeding off brainwaves.

The Doctor Ganger: Rory and Amy, they may not trust both of us.
The Doctor: You’re thinking what I’m thinking—
The Doctor Ganger: Inevitably.
The Doctor: See, I’m glad we’re on the same—
The Doctor Ganger: Wavelength. See. Great minds!
The Doctor: Exactly. So. What’s the plan?
The Doctor Ganger: Save them all, humans and gangers.
The Doctor: Between us, that sounds wonderful.
The Doctor Ganger: Is that what you were thinking?
The Doctor: Yes. It’s just so inspiring to hear me say it.
The Doctor Ganger: I know!

Both: Hello! Sorry.
The Doctor Ganger: But we had to establish a few—
The Doctor: Ground rules. Formulate a protocol.
The Doctor Ganger: Protocol! Don’t be posh.
The Doctor: I mean protocol between us otherwise it gets horribly embarrassing. And potentially confusing.
Amy: Okay. Well I’m glad you solved the problem of confusing.
The Doctor Ganger: That’s sarcasm.
The Doctor: She’s very good at sarcasm.

The Doctor: You know I’m starting to get a sense of just how impressive it is to hang out with me.
The Doctor Ganger: Do we tend to say Yowza?
The Doctor: That’s enough. Let it go okay? We’re under stress.

Cleaves: Can you really get the power back?
The Doctor Ganger: Oh, there’s always some power floating around—
The Doctor: Sticking to the wires, like bits of lint.
Amy: Could you stop finishing each other’s—
The Doctor: Sentences?
The Doctor Ganger: No promises.

Amy: No, but hang on. You said the TARDIS was stuck in acid. So wouldn’t she be damaged?
The Doctor: Nah. She’s a tough old thing. Tough old sexy thing.
The Doctor Ganger: Tough, dependable, sexy.
Amy: Ew.

Amy: How can you both be real?
The Doctor Ganger: Well. Because. We are. I’m the Doctor.
The Doctor: Yeah! And so am I. We both contain the knowledge of over nine hundred years of memory and experience. We both wear the same bow tie which is cool.
The Doctor Ganger: Bow ties are—
The Doctor: and always will be.
Amy: But how did the Flesh read you? Because you weren’t linked up to it.
The Doctor: Well it must have been after I examined it. Thus a new genuine Doctor was created.
The Doctor Ganger: Ta da!
Amy: No getting away from it. One of you was here first.
The Doctor: Well, okay. After the Flesh scanned me I had an accident in a puddle of acid. Now, new shoes—a situation which did not confront my new self here.

The Doctor Ganger: Interesting. You definitely feel more affection for him than me.
Amy: No. No, I— Look, you’re fine and everything, but he’s “The Doctor”. No offense. Being almost the Doctor is pretty darn impressive.
The Doctor Ganger: Being almost the Doctor is like being no Doctor at all.
Amy: Don’t overreact!
The Doctor Ganger: You might as well call me Smith.
Amy: Smith?
The Doctor Ganger: John Smith!

The Doctor: Yes! Communication-a-go-go!

Amy: What are you doing?
The Doctor: Making a phone call.
Amy: Who to?
The Doctor: No one yet. It’s on delay.
Amy: Right. Not getting it. Why exactly are you making a phone call?
The Doctor: Because, Amy, I am and always will be the optimist. The hope for far-flung hopes and dreamer of improbable dreams. The wheels are in motion. Done.

Amy: If you really are the same then you can die, can’t you? Be killed and… I’ve seen that happen.
The Doctor Ganger: Why.
Amy: Why? Because you invited us to see it. Your death. {He turns around and pins her to the wall.}

The Doctor Ganger: Why?!
Amy: You’re hurting me!
The Doctor Ganger: It’s all the eyes say! Why! I can feel them! As they work each day knowing the time was coming for them to be thrown away again. Not again! Please! And then they are destroyed and they feel death. And all they can say is Why!

The Doctor Ganger: Did you sense it?
The Doctor: Briefly. Not as strong as you.

The Doctor Ganger: It would appear I can connect to the Flesh.
Amy: You are Flesh.
The Doctor Ganger: I’m beginning to understand what it’s been through, what it needs.
Amy: What you want. You are it.
The Doctor Ganger: It’s much more powerful than we thought. The Flesh can grow, correct?
Cleaves: Its cells can divide.
The Doctor Ganger: Well now it wants to do that at will. It wants revenge. It’s in pain, angry. It wants revenge.
Amy: That’s right. You’re not the Doctor. You can’t ever be. You’re just a copy.

The Doctor: Hold on a minute. Hold your horses. I thought I’d explained this. I’m him, he’s me.
Cleaves: Doctor. We have no issue with you. When it comes to your ‘ganger…
The Doctor: Don’t be so absurd.
Cleaves: Buzzer.
Buzzer: Sure boss. Take a seat, mate.
The Doctor Ganger: Nice barrel. Very comfy. Why not.

Cleaves: You can’t let him go! Are you crazy?
The Doctor: Am I crazy, Doctor?
The Doctor Ganger: Well you did once plumb your brain into the core of an entire planet just to halt its orbit and win a bet.

Cleaves: Waiting for results. Let it go.
The Doctor: It’s a very deep parietal clot.
Cleaves: How can you possibly—? Inoperable?
The Doctor: On Earth, yes.
Cleaves: Well seeing as Earth’s all that’s on… offer. Hm. I’m no healthy spring chicken and you’re no weatherman. Right?

The Doctor: The eyes have it.
Amy: Why are they here?
The Doctor: To accuse. Us.

The Doctor: It’s a chemical chain reaction now. I can’t stop it. This place is going to blow sky high.
Cleaves: Exactly how long have we got?
The Doctor: An hour? Five seconds? Ah, somewhere in between.

The Doctor: Rory Pond! Roranicus Pondicus!

The Doctor: This is going to overheat and fill the room with acid. Just as a point of interest.
Cleaves: And we can’t stop it?
The Doctor: Just as a point of interest? No.

Jim: It’ll never hold ‘er.
The Doctor: If you’ve got a better plan, I’m all ears. In fact, if you have a better plan I’ll take you to a planet where everyone is all ears.

The Doctor Ganger: Here she comes. {The TARDIS drops through the ceiling}
The Doctor: Oh! She does like to make an entrance.

The Doctor Ganger: Amy we swapped shoes.
The Doctor: I’m the Doctor.
The Doctor Ganger: And I’m the Flesh.
Amy: You can’t be. You’re the real him.
The Doctor Ganger: No I’m not, and I haven’t been all along.
The Doctor: I’m the original Doctor, Amy. We had to know we if were treated the same. It was important—vital—to learn about the Flesh. And we could only do that through your eyes.

The Doctor Ganger: Well. My death arrives, I suppose.
The Doctor: But this one we’re not invited to.
The Doctor Ganger: What?
The Doctor: Nothing. Your molecular memory can survive this, you know. It may not be the end. {He tosses him his screwdriver.}
The Doctor Ganger: Well if I turn up to nick all your biscuits then you’ll know you were right, won’t you.

The Doctor: The energy from the TARDIS will stabilize the ‘gangers for good. They’re people now.
Cleaves: And what happens to me? I still have this.
The Doctor: Aha! That’s not a problem. I have something for that. It’s a small, red… and it tastes like burnt onions. Ha! But it’ll get rid of your blood clot. Happy endings.

The Doctor: Dicken, remember, people are good. In their bones, truly good. Don’t hate them, will you?
Ganger Dicken: How can I hate them? I’m one of them now.
The Doctor: Yeah. And just remember, people died. Don’t let that be in vain. Make what you say in that room count.

The Doctor: I said, breathe, Pond. Remember? Well. Breathe.
Amy: Why?
The Doctor: Breathe. {she has a stomach cramp}
Rory: What’s wrong with her?
The Doctor: Get her into the TARDIS.

Rory: Doctor, what is happening to her?
The Doctor: Contractions.
Rory: Contractions?
She’s going into labor.
Amy: What did he say? No, no no. Of course he didn’t. Rory, I don’t like this.
Rory: You’re going to have to start explaining some of this to me, Doctor.
The Doctor: What, the birds and the bees? She’s having a baby. I needed to see the Flesh in its early days. That’s why I scanned it, that’s why we were there in the first place. I was going to drop you off for fish and chips first. But things happened and there was stuff and shenanigans. {to himself} Beautiful word. Shenanigans.

The Doctor: I needed enough information to block the signal to the Flesh.
Amy: What signal?
The Doctor: The signal to you.
Amy: Doctor?
The Doctor: Stand away from her Rory.
Rory: Why? No and why?
The Doctor: Given what we’ve learned I’ll be as humane as I can but I need to do this and you need to stand away!

Amy: Doctor I am frightened. I’m properly, properly scared.
The Doctor: Don’t be, hold on. We’re coming for you, I swear. Whatever happens, however hard, however far, we will find you.
Amy: I’m right here.
The Doctor: No you’re not. You haven’t been here for a long long time.
Amy: Oh no. {he melts her}.

View all quotes from this episode

A Good Man Goes to War

Colonel Manton: On this day, in this place, the Doctor will fall. The man who talks, the man who reasons, the man who lies will meet the perfect answer. Some of you have wondered why we have allied ourselves with the Headless Monks. Perhaps you should have wondered why we call them headless. It’s time you knew what these guys have sacrificed for faith. As you all know it is a level one heresy, punishable by death, to lower the hood of a Headless Monk. But by the Divine Grant of the Papal Mainframe herself, on this one and only occasion I can show you the truth. Because these guys never can be persuaded. They never can be afraid. And they can never ever be—
The Doctor: Surprised!

The Doctor: Hello everyone! Guess who? Please, point a gun at me if it helps you relax. You’re only human.

Colonel Manton: Doctor, you will come with me right now.
The Doctor: Three minutes, forty seconds. {yelling} Amelia Pond! Get your coat! {the lights go out}

The Doctor: I’m not a phantom.
Colonel Manton: Doctor?
The Doctor: I’m not a trickster.
Colonel Manton: Doctor?
The Doctor: I’m a Monk.
Colonel Manton: Doctor, show yourself!
Cleric: It’s him! He’s here. It’s him!

The Doctor: Sorry Colonel Manton, I lied. Three minutes, forty-two seconds.

Commander Strax: Colonel Manton, you will give the order for your men to withdraw.
The Doctor: No. Colonel Manton, I want you to tell your men “run away.”
Colonel Manton: What?
The Doctor: Those words. “Run away.” I want you to be famous for those exact words. I want people to call you Colonel Runaway. I want children laughing outside your door, ’cause they’ve found the house of Colonel Runaway. And when people come to you and ask if trying to get to me through the people I love! {he composes himself}…is in any way a good idea, I want you to tell them your name. Look, I’m angry, that’s new. I’m not really sure what’s going to happen now.
Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules.
The Doctor: Good men don’t need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.
Madame Kovarian: Give the order. Give the order, Colonel Runaway.

The Doctor: Ew. Kissing and crying. I’ll be back in a bit.
Rory: Oy! You! Get in here. Now.

The Doctor: Hello! Hello, ah… baby.
Amy: Melody.
The Doctor: Melody! Hello Melody Pond.
Rory: Melody Williams.
Amy: Is a geography teacher. Melody Pond is a super hero.
The Doctor talking to Melody: Well yes I suppose she does smell nice. Never really sniffed her. Maybe I should give it a go.

The Doctor: It’s okay, she’s still all yours. And really you should call her mummy, not big milk thing.
Amy: Okay, what are you doing?
The Doctor: I speak baby.
Amy: No you don’t.
The Doctor: I speak everything. Don’t I, Melody Pond? {straightening his bow tie} No it’s not. It’s cool.

Rory: It’s a cot.
The Doctor: No flies on the Roman.

The Doctor: Give her here.
Rory: But where would you get a cot?
Amy: It’s old. Really old. Doctor, um, do you have children?
The Doctor: No.
Amy: Have you ever had children?
The Doctor to Melody: No, it’s real. It’s my hair.
Amy: Who slept in here?

The Doctor: Things to do. I’ve still gotta work out what this base is for. We can’t leave ’til we know.

The Doctor: You were on the TARDIS too. Your heart, mind and soul. But physically, yes, you were still in this place.
Amy: And when I saw that face looking through the hatch? That woman looking at me?
The Doctor: Reality bleeding through. They must have taken you quite awhile back. Just before America.

Rory: So her Flesh avatar was with us all that time. But that means they were projecting a control signal right into the TARDIS, wherever we were in time and space.
The Doctor: Yeah. They’re very clever.
Amy: Who are?
Rory: Whoever wants our baby.
Amy: Why do they want her?
The Doctor: Exactly.
Rory: Is there anything you’re not telling us? You knew Amy wasn’t real, you never said.
The Doctor: I couldn’t be sure they weren’t listening.
Amy: But you always hold out on us. Please, this time. Doctor, it’s our baby. Tell us something. One little thing.
The Doctor: It’s mine.
Rory: What is?
The Doctor: The cot. It’s my cot. I slept in it.

The Doctor: You’ve hacked into their software?
Dorium: I believe I sold it to them.
The Doctor: Oh! So what have we learned?
Madame Vastra: That anger is always the shortest distance to a mistake.
The Doctor: I’m sorry?
Madame Vastra: The words of an old friend. Who once found me in the London Underground attempting to avenge my sisters on perfectly innocent tunnel diggers.
The Doctor: Well, you were very cross at the time.
Madame Vastra: As you were today, old friend. Point taken, I hope.

Madame Vastra: Now I have a question. A simple one. Is Melody human?
The Doctor: Sorry? What? Of course she is! Completely human! What are you talking about?
Dorium: They’ve been scanning her since she was born. I think they found what they were looking for.
The Doctor: Human DNA?
Dorium: Look closer. Human plus. Specifically human plus Time Lord.

The Doctor: But she’s human. She’s Amy and Rory’s daughter.
Madame Vastra: You’ve told me about your people. They became what they did through prolonged exposure to the Time Vortex. The Untempered Schism.
The Doctor: Over billions of years! It didn’t just happen.
Madame Vastra: So how close is she? Could she even regenerate?
The Doctor: No! No! I don’t think so.
Madame Vastra: You don’t sound so sure.
The Doctor: Because I don’t understand how this happened.
Madame Vastra: Which leads me to ask when did it happen?
The Doctor: When?!
Madame Vastra: I am trying to be delicate. I know how you can blush. {Dorium laughs} When did this baby… begin?
The Doctor: Amy/alien{?}.
Madame Vastra: Quite.
The Doctor: Well how would I know? That’s all human and private stuff. It just sort of goes on, they don’t put up a balloon or anything!
Madame Vastra: Could the child have begun on the TARDIS, in flight in the Vortex?
The Doctor: No! No! Impossible! It’s all running about, sexy fish vampires. And blowing up stuff. And Rory wasn’t even there at the beginning. Then he was dead. Then he didn’t exist. Then he was plastic. Then I had to reboot the whole Universe—long story. So, technically, the first time they were on the TARDIS together in this version of reality was on their w…
Madame Vastra: On their what?
The Doctor: On their wedding night.

The Doctor: It doesn’t make sense. You can’t just cook yourself a Time Lord!
Madame Vastra: Of course not. But you gave them one hell of a start and they’ve been working very hard ever since.
Dorium: And yet they gave in so easily. Does this not bother anyone else?
The Doctor: Amy, she worried the baby would have a Time Head. She said that—
Madame Vastra: Only you would ignore the instincts of a mother.
Dorium: Or the instincts of a coward. This is too easy. There’s something wrong.
The Doctor: Why even do it? Even if you could get your hands on a brand new Time Lord, what for?
Madame Vastra: A weapon?
The Doctor: Why would a Time Lord be a weapon?
Madame Vastra: Well. They’ve seen you.
The Doctor: Me?
Madame Vastra: Mr. Maldovar, you’re right. This was too easy. We should get back to the others.
The Doctor: Me.

Madame Kovarian: The child then, what do you think?
The Doctor: What is she?
Madame Kovarian: Hope. Hope in this endless, bitter war.
The Doctor: War. Against who?
Madame Kovarian: Against you, Doctor.

The Doctor: The child is not a weapon!
Madame Kovarian: Oh give us time. She can be. She will be.
The Doctor: Except you’ve already lost her and I swear I will never let you anywhere near her again.
Madame Kovarian: Oh Doctor. Fooling you once was a joy. But fooling you twice, the same way? It’s a privilege.

Amy: So they took her anyway. All this was for nothing.
The Doctor: I am so sorry.
Jenny: Amy, it’s not his fault.
Amy: I know.

The Doctor: Hey. Hello.
Lorna: Doctor.
The Doctor: You helped my friends. Thank you.
Lorna: I met you once. In the Gamma Forest. You don’t remember me.
The Doctor: Hey, of course I remember. I remember everyone. Hey, we ran, you and me. Didn’t we run, Lorna?

The Doctor: Who was she?
Madame Vastra: I don’t know, but she was very brave.
The Doctor: They’re always brave. They’re always brave.

River: Well then soldier, how goes the day?
The Doctor: Where the hell have you been? Every time you’ve asked I have been there! Where the hell were you today?
River: I couldn’t have prevented this.
The Doctor: You could have tried!
River: And so, my love, could you. {to Amy} I know you’re not all right. But hold tight, Amy. Because you’re going to be.
The Doctor: You think I wanted this? I didn’t do this! This wasn’t me!
River: This was exactly you. All this. All of it. You make them so afraid. When you began all those years ago, sailing off to see the Universe, did you ever think you’d become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name. “Doctor.” The word for healer and wise man throughout the Universe. We get that word from you, you know. If you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word Doctor means “Mighty Warrior.” How far you’ve come. And now they’ve taken a child. The child of your best friends. And they’re going to turn her into a weapon just to bring you down. And all this, my love, in fear of you.
The Doctor: Who are you?
River: Oh look! Your cot. I haven’t seen that in a very long while!
The Doctor: No, tell me who you are.
River: I am telling you. Can’t you read?

The Doctor: Hello.
River: Hello.
The Doctor: But that means!
River: I’m afraid it does.
The Doctor: Oo. But you and I, we’ve…
River: Yes.
The Doctor: How do I look?
River: Amazing.
The Doctor: I better be.
River: Yes, you’d better be.
The Doctor: Vastra and Jenny, ’til the next time. Rory and Amy, I’m know where to find your daughter and on my life she will be safe! River, get them all home.
Rory: Doctor!
Amy: No! Where are you going? No.

View all quotes from this episode

Let’s Kill Hitler

The Doctor holds up a newspaper with the headline “Leadworth’s crop circle”
The Doctor: Seriously?
Rory: Well you never answer your phone.

The Doctor hugging Amy: You know who she grows up to be, so you know I will find her.
Amy: But you haven’t yet.

The Doctor: Sorry. Hello. Doctor not following this. Doctor very lost. You never said I was hot?

Mels (Nina Toussaint-White): Time travel. That’s just brilliant. Yeah. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m their best mate.
The Doctor: Then why don’t I know you? I danced with everyone at their wedding. The women were all brilliant. The men were a bit shy.

Mels: I need out of here now.
The Doctor: Anywhere in particular?
Mels: Well let’s see. You’ve got a time machine, I’ve got a gun. What the hell. Let’s kill Hitler.

The Doctor: You shot it! You shot my TARDIS! You shot the console!
Mels: It’s your fault!
The Doctor: How is it my fault?
Mels: You said guns didn’t work in this place. You said we’re in a state of temporal grace.
The Doctor: Oh that was a clever lie, you idiot! Anyone could tell that was a clever lie!

Berlin 1938

The Doctor: Out out out! Everybody get out! Don’t need to smoke to death. Get out!
Amy: Where are we?
Rory: A room. A war room!
The Doctor: I don’t know what room. I haven’t memorized every room in the universe yet. I had yesterday off.

The Doctor: Oo! Hello. Sorry. Is this your office? Had a sort of collision with my… vehicle. Fault’s on both sides, let’s say no more about— {sees Hitler} it.

Adolf Hitler (Albert Welling): Thank you. Whoever you are. I think you have just saved my life.
The Doctor: Believe me. It was an accident.

Mels: What do you mean we just saved his life? We could not have just saved Hitler.
The Doctor: You see? Time travel. It never goes to plan.

Hitler: This box, what is it?
The Doctor: It’s a police telephone box from London, England. That’s right, Adolf. The British are coming.

Rory: I think he just fainted.
The Doctor: Yes, that was a faint. A perfect feint.

Mels: When I was little I was going to marry you.
The Doctor: Good idea. Let’s get married. You stay alive and I’ll marry you. Deal? Deal.
Mels: Shouldn’t you ask my parents’ permission?
The Doctor: As soon as you’re well I’ll get them on the phone.
Mels: Might as well do it now. Since they’re both right here. {silence} Penny in the air. Penny drops.
Rory: What the hell’s going on?
The Doctor: Back back back! Get back!
Mels: Last time I did this, I ended up a toddler… in the middle of New York.
Amy: Okay, Doctor. Explain what is happening, please.
The Doctor: Mels. Short for.
Mels: Melody.
Amy: Yeah, I named my daughter after her.
The Doctor: You named your daughter after your daughter.

River: Who’s River Song?
The Doctor: Spoilers.
River: Spoilers? What’s spoilers? Hang on, just something I have to check.

The Doctor: This isn’t the River Song we know yet. This is her right at the start. She doesn’t even know her name.

River: Well enough of all that. Down to business.
The Doctor: Oh hello. I thought we were getting married.
River: I told you, I’m not a wedding person.
Rory: Doctor, what’s she doing?
The Doctor: What she’s programmed to.
Rory: Yeah but where’d she get the gun.
The Doctor: “Hello, Benjamin.”
River: You noticed. {she fires an empty gun}
The Doctor: Of course I noticed. As soon as I knew you were coming I tidied up a bit.
River: I know you did.
The Doctor: I know you know. {she pulls a banana on him}
River: Goodness. Is killing you going to take all day?
The Doctor: Why? You busy?
River: Oh, I’m not complaining.
The Doctor: If you were in a hurry you could have killed me in the corn field.
River: We’d only just met. I’m a psychopath. I’m not rude.
Amy: You are not a psychopath! {to the Doctor} Why would she be a psychopath?
River: Oh mummy, mummy, pay attention. I was trained and conditioned for one purpose. I was born to kill the Doctor.
The Doctor: Demon’s Run. Remember? This is what they were building. My bespoke psychopath.
River: Hello sweetie. {she kisses him}
The Doctor: Only River Song gets to call me that.
River: And who’s River Song?
The Doctor: An old friend of mine.
River: Stupid name.

River: Look at that. Berlin on the eve of war. A whole world about to tear itself apart. My kind of town. Mom, Dad, don’t follow me. And yes, that is a warning.
The Doctor: Fair warning from me then.
River: No need, my love. The deed is done. And so are you. {The Doctor stumbles}
Amy: Doctor, what’s wrong?
The Doctor: What have you done? River?
River: Oh, River River River. More than a friend I think.
The Doctor: What have you done?!
River: It was never going to be a gun for you, Doctor. The man of peace. The one who understands every kind of warfare except perhaps the cruelest. Kiss kiss. {she dives off the building}.

Rory: What’s wrong? What has she done to you?
The Doctor: Poisoned me. But I’m fine. {thinks better} Well no. I’m dying. But I’ve got a plan.
Amy: What plan?
The Doctor: Not dying. See? Fine.

Amy: You said the smoke was deadly.
The Doctor: No, the smoke’s fine. The poison will kill me first. Now get after River!
Amy: I don’t understand, okay? One minute she’s going to marry you and then she’s going to kill you.
The Doctor: Well she’s been brainwashed. It all makes sense to her. Plus, she’s a woman. Oh shut up, I’m dying!

The Doctor: Shutting down. I need an interface. Voice interface, come on. Emergency. {The Doctor hologram appears}
The Doctor Hologram: Voice interface enabled.
The Doctor: Oh no no no.
Give me someone I like. {Rose appears}. Thanks! Give me guilt. {Martha} Also guilt. {Donna} More guilt! Come on. There must be someone left in the universe I haven’t screwed up yet.
Amelia Hologram: Voice interface enabled.
The Doctor: Oh. Amelia Pond. Before I got it all wrong. My sweet little Amelia.
Amelia Hologram: I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface.
The Doctor: Let’s run away and have adventures. Come along, Pond.
Amelia Hologram: I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface.
The Doctor: You are so Scottish. How am I doing?
Amelia Hologram: Your system has been contaminated by the poison of the Judas tree. You will be dead in thirty-two minutes.
The Doctor: Okay, so. Basically better regenerate, that’s what you’re saying.
Amelia Hologram: Regeneration disabled. You will be dead in thirty-two minutes.
The Doctor: Unless I’m cured, yeah?
Amelia Hologram: There is no cure. You will be dead in thirty-two minutes.
The Doctor: Why do you keep saying that?
Amelia Hologram: Because you will be dead in thirty-two minutes.
The Doctor: You see, there you go again. Basically skipping thirty-one whole minutes when I’m absolutely fine. Scottish, that’s all I’m saying.
Amelia Hologram: You will be fine for thirty-one minutes. You will be dead in thirty-two minutes.
The Doctor: Scotland’s never conquered anyone, you know. Not even a Shetland. River needs me. She’s only just beginning. I can’t die now.
Amelia Hologram: You will not die now. You will die in thirty-two minutes.
The Doctor: I’m going out in the first round! Ringing any bells? {he convulses} Need something for the pain now. Come on, Amelia. It’s me.
Amelia Hologram: I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface.
The Doctor: Amelia. Listen to me. I can be brave for you. But you have go to tell me how.
I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface.
The Doctor: Amelia, I…
Amelia Hologram: Fish fingers and custard.
The Doctor: What did you say? Fish fingers and custard! Amelia Pond. Fish fingers and custard. Fish fingers and custard!

River: You’re dying! And you stopped to change?
The Doctor: Oh, you should always waste time when you don’t have any. Time is not the boss of you. Rule 408. Amelia Pond. Judgment Death machine. Why am I not surprised? Sonic cane.
River: Are you serious?
The Doctor: Never knowingly. Never knowingly be serious. Rule 27. You might want to write these down. Oh! It’s a robot. Four hundred and twenty-three life signs inside. A robot worked by tiny people. Love it. But how did you all get in there? Bigger on the inside? No. Basic miniaturization sustained by a compression field. Oo! Watch what you eat. It’ll get you every time.

The Doctor: Don’t you touch her! Do not harm her in any way!
Carter: Why would you care? She’s the woman who kills you.
The Doctor: I’m not dead.
Carter: You’re dying.
The Doctor: Well. At least I’m not a time-travelling, shape-shifting robot operated by miniaturized cross people, which I have got to admit, I didn’t see coming. What do you want with her?
Carter: She’s Melody Pond. According to our records, the woman who kills the Doctor.
The Doctor: And I’m the Doctor, so what’s it got to do with you?
Carter: Throughout history, many people have gone unpunished in their lifetimes. Time travel has… responsibilities.
The Doctor laughing: What? You call yourselves time travellers so you decided to punish dead people?
Carter: We don’t kill them. We extract them near the end of their established timelines.
The Doctor: And then what?
Carter: Give them hell.

The Doctor: I’d ask you who you think you are, but I think the answer’s pretty obvious. So who do you think I am? It sounds like you’ve got my biography in there. I’d love a peek.
Carter: Our records are obviously sealed to the public. Foreknowledge is dangerous.
The Doctor: Yeah well, I’ll be dead in three minutes. There isn’t much foreknowledge left.
Carter: Sorry, can’t do that.

Robot Amy: Records available.
The Doctor: Question: I’m dying. Who wants me dead?
Robot Amy: The Silents.
The Doctor: What is the Silents? Why is it called that? What does it mean?
Robot Amy: The Silents is not a species. It is a religious order or movement. Their core belief is that Silents will fall when the question is asked.
The Doctor: What question?
Robot Amy: The first question. The oldest question in the universe. Hidden in plain sight.
The Doctor: Yes, but what is the question?
Robot Amy: Unknown.
The Doctor: Oh, well fat lot of use that is, ya big ging. You call yourself a records. Augh! {he convulses again} Kidneys are always the first to quit. I’ve had better you know.

The Doctor: Please. Now we have to save your parents. Don’t run. Now I know you’re scared. But never run when you’re scared. Rule 7. Please.

River: Look at you. You still care. It’s impressive, I’ll give you that.
The Doctor: River, please.
River: Again? Who is this River? She’s got to be a woman. Am I right?
The Doctor: Help me. Save Amy and Rory. Help me.
River: Tell me about her. Go on.
The Doctor: Just… help me.

Amy: You can’t die now. I know you don’t die now.
The Doctor: Oh Pond. You’ve got a schedule for everything.

Rory: Doctor, what do we do? Come on. How do we help you?
The Doctor: No, I’m sorry, Rory. You can’t. Nobody can. Ponds. Listen to me. I need to talk to your daughter.

The Doctor: Find her. Find River Song and tell her something for me.
River: Tell her what? {he whispers to her} Well I’m sure she knows—

The Doctor: River. No. What are you doing?
River: Hello Sweetie.

River: He said no one could save him. But he must have known I could.
The Doctor: Rule 1. The Doctor lies.
Nurse: She just needs to rest. She’ll be absolutely fine.
The Doctor: No. She won’t. {he puts a new blue diary on her nightstand} She’ll be absolutely amazing.

Amy: So that’s it? We just leave her there?
The Doctor: Sisters of the Infinite Schism. Greatest hospital in the universe.
Amy: Yeah, but she’s our daughter. Doctor, she’s River. And she’s our daughter.
The Doctor: Amy, I know. But we have to let her make her own way now. We have too much foreknowledge. Dangerous thing, foreknowledge. {he looks at his death}
Amy: What’s that?
The Doctor: Nothing! Just some data I downloaded from the Teselecta. Very boring.

Rory: Doctor, River was brainwashed to kill you, right?
The Doctor: Well she did kill me. And then she used her remaining lives to bring me back. As first dates go, I’d say that was mixed signals.
Rory: But that stuff that they put in her head. Is that gone now. The River that we know in the future. She is in prison for murder.
Amy: Whose murder?

Amy: Will we see her again?
The Doctor: Oh, she’ll come looking for us.
Amy: Yeah, but how? How do people even look for you?
The Doctor: Oh Pond, haven’t you figured that one out yet?

View all quotes from this episode

Night Terrors

The Doctor gets a message on the psychic paper
The Doctor: “Please save me from the monsters.” Haven’t done this in awhile.
Amy: Um. Done what? What are you doing?
The Doctor: Making a house call.

Rory: No offense, Doctor—
The Doctor: Meaning the opposite.
Rory: But we could get a bus somewhere like this.
The Doctor: The exact the opposite.
Amy: Well I suppose it can’t all be planets and history and stuff, Rory.
The Doctor: Yes it can. Of course it can. Planets and history and stuff, that’s what we do. But not today, no. Today we’re answering a cry for help from the scariest place in the universe. A child’s bedroom.

Rory: “Please save me from the monsters.” Who sent that?
The Doctor: That’s what we’re here to find out.
Amy: Sounds like something a kid would say.
The Doctor: Exactly. A scared kid. A very scared kid. So scared that somehow his cry for help got through to us. In the TARDIS.
Amy: Yeah, but you’ve traced it here?
The Doctor: Exactly. {the elevator arrives} Ah! Going up.

Amy: Hey. Any luck?
The Doctor: Three old ladies, a traffic warden from Croatia and a man with ten cats.
Rory: What are we actually looking for?
The Doctor: Ten cats! Scared kid, remember?
Amy: I found, um, scary kids. Does that count?

Alex: Oh! Right. That was quick.
The Doctor: Was it?
Alex: Claire said she’d phoned someone. Social Services.
The Doctor: Yes. {he looks at the psychic paper} Yes.
Alex: It’s not easy, you know. Admitting your kid’s got a problem.
The Doctor: You’ve got a problem, I’ve got a problem. I’m betting they’re connected. I’m the Doctor. Call me Doctor. Uh, what can I call you?
Alex: I’m Alex.
The Doctor: Hello Alex. So. Tell me about George.

Alex: Ever since he was born he’s been a funny kid.
The Doctor: Funny’s good. We like funny, don’t we?

The Doctor: It’s got worse though, lately?
Alex: Yeah. We talked about getting help. You know, maybe sending him somewhere. He started getting these nervous tics. You know, funny little cough. Blinking all the time. And now it’s got completely out of hand. I mean he’s scared to death of everything.
The Doctor: Pantophobia.
Alex: What?
The Doctor: That’s what it’s called. Pantophobia.
Not fear of pants though, if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s the fear of everything. Including pants, I suppose. In that case… Sorry. go on.
Alex: He hates clowns.
The Doctor: Understandable.
Alex: Old toys. He thinks the old lady across the way is a witch. He hates having a bath in case there’s something under the water. The lift sounds like somebody’s breathing. It’s… Look, I dunno. I’m not an expert. Maybe you can get through to him.
The Doctor: I’ll do my best.

Alex: Were you having a nightmare, son?
George: It’s wasn’t a nightmare. I wasn’t asleep. {The Doctor appears in the door} Who are you?
The Doctor: I’m the Doctor.
George: A Doctor! Have you come to take me away?
The Doctor: No, George. I just want to talk to you.
George: What about?
The Doctor: About the monsters.

Alex: Maybe it was things on telly. You know?
The Doctor not listening: Right.
Alex: Scary stuff. Getting under his skin. Frightening him.
The Doctor: Mm hm.
Alex: So we stopped letting him watch.
The Doctor: Oh, you don’t want to do that.

The Doctor: When I was your age—about, oo, a thousand years ago—I loved a good bedtime story. The Three Little Sontarans. The Emperor Dalek’s New Clothes. Snow White and the Seven Keys to Doomsday, eh? All the classics. {the tosses the Rubix Cube}. Rubbish. Must be broken. I hate those things. Better tidy it away though, eh? How ’bout in here? {George looks panicked}. No. Not in the cupboard. Why not in the cupboard, George?
Alex: It’s a thing. A thing we got him doing ages back. Anything that frighten him, we put it in the cupboard. Creepy toys, scary pictures. That sort of thing.
The Doctor: And is that where the monsters go? Yeah. There’s nothing to be scared of, George. It’s just a cupboard.

George: Is that a tool?
The Doctor: Screwdriver. A sonic one. And other stuff.
George: Please may I see the other stuff?
The Doctor: You may. {he starts the toys moving} Huh? Pretty cool, eh!

The Doctor: Hm? That’s better. No tears from George. That’s what I’ve heard. Go on, give us a smile. There’s a brave little soldier. {to himself} Bit rusty at this. Anyway! Let’s open this cupboard, eh. Oh, there’s nothing to be— {his sonic screwdriver goes wild} Off the scale. Off the scale. Off the scale. But how?

Alex: So, have you got this thing open yet?
The Doctor: No! No no no no no! You don’t want to do that!
Alex: Why?
The Doctor: Because George’s monsters are real.

Alex: You’re supposed to be a professional. I’ll never got him to sleep now. You’re so irresponsible.
The Doctor: No, Alex. Responsible, very. Cupboard bad. Cupboard not bare. Stay away from cupboard. And there’s something else, something I’ve missed. Something staring me in the face.

Alex: Will you stop making tea. I want you to leave!
The Doctor: No.
Alex: What? What d’you mean, “no”? Leave. Get out. Now, please. Look, maybe this was a bad idea. We should sort out George ourselves.
The Doctor: You can’t. {he gets out the milk}
Alex: No one’s going to tell us how to run our lives. I don’t care who you are or what wheels have been set in motion. We’ll sort it.
The Doctor: I’m not just a professional, I’m the Doctor.
Alex: What’s that supposed to mean?
The Doctor: It means I’ve come a long way to get here, Alex. A very long way. George sent a message—a distress call, if you like. Whatever’s inside that cupboard is so terrible—so powerful—that it amplified the fears of an ordinary little boy across all the barriers of time and space.
Alex: Eh?
The Doctor: Through crimson stars and silent stars and tumbling nebulas like oceans set on fire. Through empires of glass and civilizations of pure thought. And a whole terrible wonderful universe of impossibilities. You see these eyes, they’re old eyes. And one thing I can tell you, Alex: monsters are real.
Alex: You’re not from Social Services are you?
The Doctor: First things first: you got any jammie dodgers?

The Doctor: Decision: should we open the cupboard?
Alex: Wha-?
The Doctor: Should we…? Well, gotta open the cupboard, haven’t we? Of course we have. Come on, Alex. Alex, come on. How else will we ever find out what’s going on here?
Alex: Right. But you said—
The Doctor: Monsters, yeah. Well that’s what I do. Breakfast, dinner and tea. Fight the monsters! So this, this, is just an average day at the office for me.
Alex: Okay, yeah. You’re right.
The Doctor: Or maybe we shouldn’t open the cupboard.
Alex: Eh?
The Doctor: We have no idea what might be in there. How powerful, how evil that thing might be.
Alex: We don’t?
The Doctor: Come on, Alex! Alex, come on! Are you crazy? We can’t open the cupboard!
Alex: God no! No, we mustn’t!
The Doctor: Right. That settles it.
Alex: Settles what?
The Doctor: We’re gonna open the cupboard.

The Doctor: I don’t understand. It has to be the cupboard. The readings from the sonic screwdriver, they were—

The Doctor: How old is George, Alex?
Alex: What? How old?
The Doctor: Yes. How old is George?
Alex: But I told you, just turned eight.
The Doctor: So you remember when he was born then.
Alex: Of course.
The Doctor: Of course you do, how could you not. You and Claire, Christmas Eve 2002. Right?
Alex: What? Yeah.
The Doctor: Couple of weeks before George was born. Tell me about the day he arrived. Must have been wonderful.
Alex: Well it was the best day of my… life.
The Doctor: You sure?
Alex: Yes.
The Doctor: You don’t sound sure.
Alex: What are you trying to say?

Alex: Look, I don’t like this. I told you before, I want you to go.
The Doctor: What’s the matter, Alex?
Alex: I can’t— Oh no. Oh, this is scary.
The Doctor: No, Alex. This is scary. Claire with baby George. Newborn, yes?
Alex: Yes.
The Doctor: Less than a month after Christmas.
Alex: So?
The Doctor: So look! Look! Claire’s not pregnant.
Alex: What?
The Doctor: Not pregnant.
Alex: Well of course not. Claire can’t have kids!

The Doctor: Say that again.
Alex: We tried everything. She was desperate. As much IVF as we could afford, but… Claire can’t have kids. How… how can I have forgotten that?

The Doctor: Who are you, George?
Alex: It’s not possible. This isn’t…
The Doctor: George… {the cupboard opens up and Alex and the Doctor get pulled in}
George: Please save me from the monsters! Please save me from the monsters!

Alex: We went into the cupboard. How can it be bigger in here?
The Doctor: More common than you think, actually. You okay?
Alex: Where are we?
The Doctor: Obvious, isn’t it?
Alex: No!
The Doctor: Doll’s house. We’re inside the doll’s house.
Alex: The doll’s house?
The Doctor: Yeah, in the cupboard in your flat. The doll’s house.
Alex: No look. Slow down, would you?
The Doctor: Look. Wooden chicken. Cup, saucers, plates, knives, forks. Fruit. Chicken’s wood. So. We’re either inside the doll’s house or this is a refuge for dirty posh people who eat wooden food. Or termites. Giant termites trying to get on The Property Ladder. No, That’s possible. Is that possible?

Alex: What is he? What is George? And how could I forget that Claire can’t have kids? How?
The Doctor: Perception filter. Some kind of hugely powerful perception filter convinced you and Claire—everyone. Made you change your memories. Now. What could do that?

The Doctor: So. Claire can’t have kids and something responded to that. Responded to that need. What could do that?
Alex: Well I thought you were the expert, fighting monsters all day long. You tell me!
The Doctor: Oy! Listen, [?]. Old eyes, remember, I’ve been around the block a few times. More than a few. They’ve knocked down the blocks I’ve been around and rebuilt them as bigger blocks. Super blocks! I’ve been around them as well. I can’t remember everything. Like trying to remember the name of someone you met at a party when you were two.

The Doctor: What do you tell George to do, Alex, with everything that scares him?
Alex: Put it in the cupboard.
The Doctor: Exactly! And George isn’t just an ordinary little boy. We know that now. So anything scary he puts in here. Scary toys, like the doll’s house. Scary noises, like the lift. Even his own rituals have become part of it. His psyche— A repository for all his fears. But what is he?

Alex: Gun! You’ve got a gun!
The Doctor: It’s not a gun! {he tries the screwdriver again} Wood! I’ve got to invent a setting for wood. It’s embarrassing.

The Doctor: Massive psychic field, perfect perception filter. And that need! That need of Claire’s to, to… stupid Doctor! {hits himself} Ow! George is a Tenza. Of course he is.
Alex: He’s a what?
The Doctor: A cuckoo. A cuckoo in a nest. A Tenza. He’s a Tenza. Millions of them hatch in space and then—woof—off they drift, looking for a nest. The Tenza young can sense exactly what their foster parents want and then they assimilate perfectly.
Alex: George is an alien?
The Doctor: Yep!

The Doctor: George isn’t even aware that he’s controlling it. So we have to make him aware.

The Doctor: George, George, listen to me. You have to end it! End it now! {George opens the cupboard}

The Doctor: George you created this whole world. This whole thing. You can smash it. You can destroy it. {George shakes his head} Something’s holding him back.

Alex: But how can we keep him? He’s not…
The Doctor: Not what?
Alex: Human.
The Doctor: No.
George: Dad!

The Doctor: Oh! You’re Claire I’d expect. Claire. How do you feel about kippers?
Claire: Uh… Who—
Alex: They sent someone. About George. It’s all sorted.
The Doctor: Yeah. We had a great time, didn’t we?
George: Yeah!
The Doctor: See? He’s fine.
Claire: What, just like that?
The Doctor: Yes. Trust me.

Alex: Doctor, wait!
The Doctor: Sorry, yes! Bye!
Alex: You can’t just— I mean.
The Doctor: It’s sorted. You sorted it. Good man, Alex. I’m proud of ya.
Alex: But that’s it?
The Doctor: Well apart from making sure he eats his greens and getting him into a good school. Yes.
Alex: Is he gonna, I don’t know, sprout another head. Or three eyes or something?
The Doctor: He’s one of the Tenza. He’ll adapt perfectly now. {sees George} Hey! He’ll be whatever you want him to be. Might pop back around puberty, mind you! Always a funny time.

The Doctor: Come on, you two. Things to do. People to see. Whole civilizations to save. You feeling okay?
Amy: Um, I think so.
The Doctor: And it’s good to be all back together again. In the flesh.

The Doctor: Now, did someone mention something about planets and history and stuff?
Rory: Yeah.
The Doctor: Where do you want to go?
Amy: Um…
The Doctor: Mind’s gone blank.
Amy: Well I have just been turned into a wooden dolly.
The Doctor: Excuses excuses.
Rory: It’s tough though. It’s like you’re given three wishes. The whole universe?
The Doctor: Universes. Oo! Three wishes and a []. How about that?

Tick tock goes the clock, even for the Doctor

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The Girl Who Waited

The Doctor: Appalapachia!
Amy: Appalapachia. What a beautiful word.
The Doctor: Beautiful word. Beautiful world. Appalapachia. Voted number two planet in the top ten greatest destinations for the discerning intergalactic traveler.
Rory: Why couldn’t we go to number one?
The Doctor: It’s hideous! Everyone goes to number one. Planet of the Coffee Shops. Appalapachia, I give you sunsets, spires, soaring silver colonnades! I give you—
Rory: Doors.
The Doctor: Doors. Yes, I, I give you doors. But on the other side of doors I give you sunsets, spires, soaring silver colonnades.

Amy: Have you seen my phone?
The Doctor: Your phone?
Amy: Yeah.
The Doctor: Your mobile telephone. I bring you to a paradise planet two billion light years from Earth and you want to update Twitter.
Amy: Sunsets, spires, soaring silver colonnades. It’s a camera phone.
The Doctor: On the counter by the DVDs.
Amy: Thank you.

Rory: How do we get in?
The Doctor: I don’t know. Push a button. {Rory pushes the green anchor button}

The Doctor: Okay so rain check on the soaring silver colonnades.

Rory: When and wherever we are is my wife?
The Doctor: Rory. I think I found her.
Rory: What do you mean you found her?

The Doctor: Hands! Hello Hands! Robot with hands, Rory.
Hand Bot: Welcome to the Two Streams facility. Will you be visiting long?
Amy: Uh Doctor. Something’s opening.
The Doctor: Amy! Stay calm! Stay still! Ah, time’s gone wobbly. I hate it when it does that.

Amy: And where have you been? I’ve been here a week.
The Doctor: A week!
Rory: A week?!
The Doctor: I’m so sorry. Aha! Same room, different time streams. Two different time streams running parallel but at two different speeds. Amy, you’re in a faster time stream!

Rory: Why has this got hands?
The Doctor: Organic skin. Ultimate universal interface. Grown and grafted, not born. I mean it’s actually seeing with its fingers. Scanning the room. But why not just give it eyes?

Rory: I pressed red waterfall and she wasn’t there!
The Doctor: So you can’t follow her directly in. Oh, it’s never simple! Did you hear that, Hand-Bot? She pressed the wrong button, that’s all. We’re aliens. We didn’t know!
Statement rejected. Appalapachia is under planet-wide quarantine. This is a kindness facility. For those infected with Chin-7.
Rory: What?
The Doctor: Chin-7.
Rory: Hm?
The Doctor: The one-day plague.
Rory: You get it for a day?
The Doctor: No you get it and you die in a day.
There are forty thousand residents in the Two Streams facility. Please remain in the sterile areas. Visiting hours are now.

The Doctor: Chin-7 only affects two-hearted races, like Appalapachians.
Rory: And Time Lords?
The Doctor: Yeah, and me. Walk into that facility and I’m dead in a day.

The Doctor: That’s the point of the time glass. It syncs up the two time streams for visits. You could be in here for a day and watch them live out their entire lives.
Rory: And watch them grow old in front of your eyes? That’s horrible.
The Doctor: No Rory, it’s kind. You’ve got a choice. Sit by their bedside for twenty-four hours and watch them die. Or sit in here for twenty-four hours and watch them live. Which would you choose?

The Doctor: Amy, I’m taking the time glass back to the TARDIS. Like sat-nav. I can use it to get a lock on you, then smash through it, using the TARDIS to get you out. Until then you’re on your own.
Rory: What are you doing?
The Doctor: Locking it on to Amy. Small act of vandalism, no one will mind. {alarms go off} Ah! That would be the small act of vandalism alarm. Amy, I need you to go into the facility, just for a bit. Find somewhere safe and leave me a sign. Remember, you are immune to Chin-7, but don’t let them give you anything. They don’t know you’re alien. Their kindness will kill you. Now. Go.

The Doctor: Ha ha! How do I look?
Rory: Ridiculous.
The Doctor: Glasses are cool, see? Oh yes. Hello handsome man.
Rory: Hello.
The Doctor: Hello, Rory-cam.
Rory: Huh? {sees the monitors} Oh, you can see what I see. Fine.
The Doctor: We’re breaking into two streams. Now I can’t go in there, the Chin-7 will kill me and no regeneration. You will be my eyes and ears.
Rory: Rory-cam. Rescue Amy. Got it.
The Doctor: That’s the spirit. Now smashing through a time wall could get a bit hairy.
Rory: Is it safe?
The Doctor: Dunno. Never tried. Best hold on to something.

Rory: Red waterfall. We made it.
The Doctor: Good on us.
Rory: How do we know that we’re in the same waterfall as Amy?
The Doctor: Focus on the positive. We locked onto Amy’s time stream. {catches Rory staring at the Venus de Milo}. Eyes front, soldier!
Rory: Right, yes. Sorry.

The Doctor: Appalapachians are the great cultural scavengers, Rory. This gallery’s a scrapbook of all their favorite places.
Rory: Bit of Earth, bit of alien, bit of… whatever the hell that is.

Rory: Where is everyone?
The Doctor: All right, Rory, switch the time glass on and sonic it. I’m sending a command signal to the screwdriver. Amy’s here somewhere, if I could just get a lock on her. I wonder what happens if I mix the filters. And there they are. Forty thousand time streams overlapping. Red waterfall isn’t one time stream. It’s thousands.
Rory: Are they happy?
The Doctor: Oh Rory. Trust you to think of that. I think they’re happy to be alive. Better than the alternative.

Rory: Amy. Doctor, what’s going on?
The Doctor: Ah. I think the time stream lock might be a bit wobbly.
Rory: Look, please please—
Future Amy: Duck.

Future Amy: Do you have anything to say? Anything, Doctor?
The Doctor: Where did you get a sonic screwdriver?
Future Amy: I made it. And it’s a sonic probe.
Rory: You made a sonic screwdriver?
Future Amy: Probe.

Future Amy: Oh don’t get sentimental. It’s just a robot. You’d have done the same.
The Doctor: I don’t know that I would have.
Future Amy: And there he is, the voice of God. Survive. Because no one’s gonna come for you. Number one lesson. You taught me that.
The Doctor: Is that really all I taught you?
Future Amy: Don’t you lecture me. Blue Box Man, flying through time and space on whimsy. All I’ve got, all I’ve had for thirty-six years is cold hard reality. So, no, I don’t have a sonic screwdriver because I’m not [?]. Call it what it is. A probe. And I call my life what it is. Hell.

The Doctor: There’s still time, Amy. There’s still time to fix everything.

The Doctor: Okay, so here’s the plan: time is always a bit wibbly-wobbly, but at Two Streams it’s extra wobbly. I’ve worked out a way to hijack the temporal engines and use them to fold two points of Amy’s timeline together. We’re bringing her out of the then and into the now!

The Doctor: Amy, I just need to borrow your brain a minute. It won’t hurt probably. Almost probably. And then, Amy Pond, I’m going to save you.
Future Amy: No! Time’s up. Hand-bot’s coming.

The Doctor: Rory—
Rory: This is your fault.
The Doctor: I’m so sorry, but Rory.
Rory: No! This is your fault! You should look in a history book once in awhile, see if there’s an outbreak of plague or not.
The Doctor: That is not how I travel.
Rory: Then I do not want to travel with you! {he throws down the glasses}

Future Amy: Okay, Doctor. Two Streams is back on-air. Right, okay, so this is big news. This is temporal earthquake time. I’m now officially changing my own future. Hold on to your spectacles. In my past, I saw my future self refuse to help you. I’m now changing that future and agreeing. Every law of time says that shouldn’t be possible.
The Doctor: Yes, except sometimes knowing your own future is what enables you to change it, especially if you’re bloody-minded, contradictory and completely unpredictable.
Rory: So basically if you’re Amy then.
The Doctor: Yes, if anyone could defeat predestiny, it’s your wife.

Rory: Two Amys together. Can that work?
The Doctor: I don’t know. It’s your marriage.
Rory: Doctor.
The Doctor: Perhaps. Maybe if I shunted the reality compensators on the TARDIS, recalibrated the Doomsday bumpers and jettisoned the karaoke bar, yes. Maybe, yes. It could do it. The TARDIS could sustain the paradox.

The Doctor: Future Amy, could I borrow your sonic screwdr— it’s a probe.
Future Amy: It’s a screwdriver.

The Doctor: Amy now and Amy then, share a thought. Something so powerful that it can rip through time.

The Doctor: Come on, Rory! It’s hardly rocket science. It’s quantum physics.

The Doctor: Rory, Amys, we’ve created a massive paradox and the TARDIS hates it. She’s still phasing. Trying to get out of here. {to the TARDIS} What’s the nasty Amy done to you? Just calm down, dear.

The Doctor: Rory, you’ve got eight minutes left. I’m sorry, you’re on your own now.
Rory: I’m not on my own. I’ve got my wives.

The Doctor: I’m sorry.
Rory: What are you doing?
The Doctor: I lied to her, Rory. There can never be two Amys in the TARDIS. The paradox would be too massive.
Rory: You can’t leave her, she’ll die!
The Doctor: No, she’ll never have existed. When we save our Amy this future won’t have happened.
Rory: She happened! She’s there!
Future Amy: I trusted you!
The Doctor: No, she’s not real.
Rory: She is real. Let her in.
The Doctor: Look, we keep this Amy, we leave ours. There can only be one Amy in the TARDIS. Which one do you want?! {he puts Rory’s hand on the lock} Your choice.
Rory: This isn’t fair. You’re turning me into you.

Rory: Did you always know it would never work. Saving both Amys?
The Doctor: I promised you I would save her and there she is. Safe.
Rory: Yeah. There she is.

View all quotes from The Girl Who Waited

The God Complex

Amy: “Let’s go to Ravan-Skala,” he says. “People are six hundred feet tall, you have to talk to them in hot air balloons, and the tourist information center is made of one of their hats,” he says. I’m sorry, but I don’t see any huge hats.
The Doctor: Amy, [B-key]. This could be the most exciting thing I have ever seen.
Rory: You’re kidding.
Amy: How can you be excited about a rubbish hotel on a rubbish bit of earth?
The Doctor: Because, assembled Ponds, this is not Earth. This has just been made to look like Earth. The craftsmanship involved, can you imagine?
Amy: What? And where are we?
The Doctor: I don’t know. Something must have yanked us off-course. Look at the detail on that cheese plant!
Rory: Right, but who would mock up an Earth hotel?
The Doctor: Colonists maybe. Recreating a bit of home. Like when ex-pats open English pubs in Majorca. No, whoever did this I’m shaking his [stroke] her hand [stroke] tentacle.

The Doctor: Woah! That was quick.
Gibbis (David Walliams): We surrender.
Rory: No, it’s okay.
Gibbis: We surrender!
The Doctor: A chair leg!
Rory: We’re nice.
The Doctor: She threatened me with a chair leg!
Rita (Amara Karan): Who are you?
Howie Spraggs (Dimitri Leonidas): Oh god, we’re back in reception.
Gibbis: We surrender.
The Doctor: I’ve never been threatened with a chair leg before. No. Hang on. I tell a lie.
Amy: Did you just say, “It’s okay, we’re nice”?
Rita: Okay, I need everyone to shut up now!
Howie: Rita, be careful, yeah?
Rita: Pupils are dilated. They’re even more surprised than we are. Besides which, if it is a trick it’ll tell us something.
The Doctor: Oh you’re good. Oh, she’s good. Amy, with regret, you’re fired.
Amy: What?
The Doctor: I’m kidding.

The Doctor: I take it from the pathological compulsion to surrender you’re from Tivoli.
Gibbis: Yes, the most invaded planet in the galaxy. Our anthem is called, “Glory to [insert name here].”

The Doctor: You with the face, Howie. You said you were surprised to be back in reception.
Howie: The walls move. Everything changes.
The Doctor: You. Clever one. What’s he talking about?
Rita: The corridors twist and stretch. Rooms vanish and pop up somewhere else. It’s like the hotel’s alive.
The Doctor turning off the music: Quite enough of that.
Howie: Yeah, and it’s huge. It’s like no way out.
Rory: Have you tried the front door.
Rita: No. In two days it never occurred to us to try the front door. Thank god you’re here.

The Doctor: They’re not doors. They’re walls. Walls that look like doors. Door-walls if you like. Or dwalls. Walds even. Though you probably got it when you said they’re not doors. I mean even the windows are— Right. Big day for a fan of walls.
Rita: It’s not just that. The rooms have things in them.
The Doctor: Things? Hello! What kind of things? Interesting things? I love things. Ask anyone.
Rita: Bad dreams.
The Doctor: Well that killed the mood.

The Doctor: So what have we got. People being snatched from their lives and dropped into an endless shifting maze that looks like a 1980s hotel with bad dreams in the bedrooms. Well apart from everything else that’s just rude.

The Doctor: Okay. This is bad. At the moment I don’t know how bad, but certainly we’re three buses, a long walk, [a ] and a taxi from good.

The Doctor: Are there any more of you?
Rita: Joe. But he’s tied up right now.
The Doctor: Doing what?
Rita: No. He’s tied up right now.

The Doctor: Hello. I’m the Doctor.
Joe Buchanan (Daniel Pirrie): We’re going to die here.
The Doctor: Well they certainly didn’t mention that in the brochure. Is Joe there? Can I have a quick word.
Joe: No, it’s still me, Doctor, but I’ve seen the light. I lived a blasphemous life but he has forgiven my inconstancy and soon he shall feast.
The Doctor: Well you’ve been here for two days. What’s “he” waiting for?
Joe: We weren’t ready. We were still raw.
The Doctor: But now you’re what? Cooked?
Joe: If you like. Soon you will be too. Be patient. First: find your room.
The Doctor: My room.
Joe: There’s a room here for everyone, Doctor. Even you.

The Doctor: You said you’d seen the light now.
Joe: Nothing else matters anymore. Only him. And these things. I used to hate them. They make me laugh now. {he starts laughing} Gottle o’geer! Gottle o’geer!

The Doctor: Where are you from? I don’t understand. Aside from all the other things I don’t understand.
Gibbis: What does it matter? Sooner or later someone will come along and rescue us. Or enslave us.

The Doctor: Quick thing before we go, if you feel drawn to a particular room, do not go in. And make sure someone else can see you at all times.

The Doctor: Something to add, Joe?
Joe: “Here comes a candle to light you to bed/Here comes a chopper to chop off your head.” Chop chop chop chop.
Howie: Can we do something about him?!

Amy: Whatever that is, it’s not real. Yeah?
The Doctor: No. No. I’m sure it isn’t. But just in case let’s run away and hide anyway.

The Doctor: Why haven’t they got us yet? {he touches one} Amy, they’re not real.
Amy: What?
The Doctor: They should have got us by now. Amy, look at me. Focus on me. It’s your bad dream, that’s all.
Rory: I don’t think they’re for us.

Rita: You are a medical doctor, aren’t you? You haven’t just got a degree in cheesemaking or something?
The Doctor: No! Well both actually.

Rita: This is Jahannam.
The Doctor: You’re a Muslim!
Rita: Don’t be frightened.
The Doctor: You think this is hell?
Rita: The whole 80s hotel thing took me by surprise though.
The Doctor: All these fears and phobias, wandering about. Most of them completely unconnected to us. So why are they still here?
Rita: Maybe the cleaners have gone on strike.
The Doctor: Ha. I like you. You’re a right clever clock. But this isn’t Hell, Rita.
Rita: You don’t understand. I say that without fear. Jahannam will play its tricks and there’ll be time when I’ll want to run and scream, but I’ve tried to live a good life and that knowledge keeps me sane, despite the monsters and the bonkers rooms.

Rita: Gibbis is an alien, isn’t he?
The Doctor: Yep.
Rita: Okay. I’m going to file that under “Freak out about it later.”

The Doctor: Your civilization is one of the oldest in the galaxy and now I see why. Cowardice isn’t quaint, it’s sly, aggressive.

The Doctor: Howie, you’re next. We’re all dead jealous. So tell us. How do we get a piece of the action? Why isn’t he possessing all of us?
Howie: You guys have got all these distractions. All these obstacles. It’d be so much easier if you just let it go, you know? Give up.
Amy: You want it to find you, even though you know what it’s gonna do?
Howie: Are you kidding? He’s going to kill us all. How cool is that?

The Doctor: It’s as I thought, it feeds on fear. Everything—the rooms, Lucy’s note, I mean even the pictures in reception—has been put here to frighten us. So we have to resist it. Do whatever you have to. Push your fingers, say a prayer, think of a basket of kittens. But do not give in to the fear.
Amy: Okay, but what are we actually going to do?
The Doctor: We’re going to catch ourselves a monster.

The Doctor: You take people’s most primal fears, pop it in a room. Tailor-made Hell just for them. Why? […] Did you say, “they take”? What is that word? The… guard? No. The warden. This is a prison.

The Doctor: So what are we? Cell mates? Lunch? “We are not… right.” That’s what Joe said, that we weren’t ready. So what what? You make us ready? You want? Replace? Replace what? Fear? You have lived so long even your name is lost. You want this to stop. Because you are just instinct. Then tell me! Tell me how to fight you.

The Doctor: Pond! Bring the fish.

The Doctor: Have you found your room yet?
Rory: No. Is that good or bad?
The Doctor: Maybe you’re not scared of anything.
Rory: Well after all the time I’ve spent with you in the TARDIS, what was left to be scared of.
The Doctor: You said that in the past tense.
Rory: No I didn’t.

The Doctor: Rita! Brilliant! How are you? Not panicking, are you? Good. Good. ‘Cause I am literally an [?] toenail away from getting us out of here.
Rita: Why?
The Doctor: Excellent question. Excellent question. Why what?
Rita: Why is it up to you to save us? That’s quite a God Complex you have there.
The Doctor: I brought them here. They say it was their choice, but offer a child a suitcase full of sweets and they’ll take it. Offer someone all of time and space and they’ll take that too. Which is why you shouldn’t. Which is why grown-ups were invented.
Rita: “All of time and space,”, eh?
The Doctor: Oh yeah. And when we get out of this I’ll show you too.
Rita: I don’t know what you’re talking about, but whatever it was I have a feeling you just did it again.

The Doctor: Right down to the smallest detail. Gotcha, Mr. [?].

The Doctor opening Door 11: Of course. Who else.

The Doctor: You started to praise it, didn’t you? {she nods}. Rita, come back please. We’ll find away to stop it, I swear.
Rita: No, I need to get as far away from you all as possible.
The Doctor: No no no. The creature only wants whoever’s praising it.
Rita: And then you’ll put yourself in its way.
The Doctor: I’m coming to get you. Block out the fear and stay focused on your belief.
Rita: The hotel will keep us apart. I’ll likely be fifty miles away by now.
The Doctor: I want you to do one last favor, Doctor. I can feel the Rapture approaching like a wave. I don’t want you to witness this. I want you to remember me the way I was.

Rita: You stay where you are. Please, let me be robbed of my faith in private.
The Doctor: Look, Rita! Look!, go into the room, lock the door.
Rita: I’m not frightened, I’m blessed, Doctor. I’m at peace. I’m gonna hang up.
The Doctor: No no no!
Rita: Goodbye Doctor. Thank you for trying.
The Doctor: Rita please! Please!

The Doctor: Okay. It preys on the people’s fear it possesses. But Rita wasn’t afraid. She was brave and kind. Maybe it’s something to do with the people. Some connection between the four of you that will tell me how to fight it.
Gibbis: Yes, you keep on saying that but you never do. And while we wait people keep dying and we’ll be next!
Amy: Look, he’ll work it out. He always does. Just let him riff and move anything expensive out of his way.

The Doctor: Oh no. Oh no no no.
Amy: Doctor, what is wrong?
The Doctor: It’s not fear. It’s faith. Not just religious faith, faith in something. Howie believed in conspiracies, that external forces controlled the world. Joe had dice cufflinks and a chain with a horseshoe—he was a gambler. And gamblers believe in luck. An intangible force that helps them win or lose. Gibbis has rejected any personal autonomy and he’s waiting for the next batch of invaders to oppress him and tell him what to do. They all believe there’s something guiding them, about to save them. That’s what it replaces. Every time someone was confronted with their most primal fear they fell back on their most fundamental faith. And all this time I’ve been telling you to dig deep, find the thing that keeps you brave. I made you expose your faith. Showed them what they needed.
Rory: But why us? Why are we here?
The Doctor: It doesn’t want you. That’s why it kept showing you a way out. You’re not religious or superstitious so there’s no faith for you to fall back on. It wants her.
Amy: Me? Why?
The Doctor: Your faith in me. That’s what brought us here.
Rory: But why do they lose their faith before they die and start worshipping… it?
The Doctor: It needs to convert their faith into a form it can consume. Faith is an energy—a specific emotional energy the creature needs to live. Which is why at the end of her note, Lucy said—
Amy: Praise him.
The Doctor: Exactly.

Amy: Doctor, it’s happening. It’s changing me. It’s changing my thoughts.
The Doctor: I can’t save you from it. There’s nothing I can do to stop this.
Amy: What?
The Doctor: I stole your childhood and now I’ve led you by the hand to your death. But the worst thing is I knew. I knew this would happen. This is what always happens. Forget your faith in me. I took you with me because I was vain. Because I wanted to be adored. Look at you, glorious Pond. The Girl Who Waited for me. I’m not a hero. I really am just a madman in a box. And it’s time we say each other as we really are. Amy Williams. It’s time to stop waiting.

The Doctor: I severed the food supply, sacrificing her faith in me. Gave you the space to die.

Amy: What is it? A minotaur? Or an alien? Or an alien minotaur? That’s not a question I thought I’d be asking this morning.
The Doctor: It’s both actually.

Amy: It didn’t want just me. So you must believe in some God or someone or it would have shown you the door too. So what do Time Lords pray to?
The Doctor: According to the in-flight recorder, the program developed glitches. Got stuck on the same setting. The fears from the people before us weren’t tidied away.

What’s it saying?
The Doctor: An ancient creature, drenched in the blood of the innocents. Drifting in space through an endless shifting maze. Such a creature, death would be a gift. Then accept it. And sleep well. {he pauses} I wasn’t talking about myself.

Amy: Don’t tell me, this isn’t Earth, that isn’t a real house, and inside lives a goblin who feeds on indecision.
The Doctor: Nope. Real Earth. Real house. Real door keys.
Amy: You’re not serious.
Rory: The car too? But that’s my favorite car. How did you know that was my favorite car?
The Doctor: You showed me a picture once, said “That’s my favorite car.”
Amy: Rory, we can’t accept this.
Rory: She’ll say that we can’t accept it because it’s too expensive, and we’ll always feel a crippling sense of obligation. {looks at the car} It’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Amy: So. You’re leaving, aren’t you?
The Doctor: You haven’t seen the last of me. Bad penny is my middle name. Seriously, the looks I get when I fill in a form.
Amy: Why now?
The Doctor: Because you’re still breathing.

Amy: Well I think this is about the washing up.
The Doctor: You know you’re right. There’s still heaps of stuff out there to look at. Did you know, there’s a planet who’s name literally translates as “volatile sex.” Or maybe there’s a bigger, scarier adventure waiting for you in there.
Amy: Even so, it can’t happen like this. After everything we’ve been through, Doctor. Everything. You can’t just drop me off at my house and say goodbye like we shared a cab.
The Doctor: What’s the alternative? Me standing over your grave? Over your broken body. Over Rory’s body.

Amy: You bump into my daughter, tell her to visit her old mom sometime.
The Doctor: Look after him.
Amy: Look after you.

View all quotes from The God Complex

Closing Time

Craig: Mum, it’s not just you, I’m phoning everybody. I’m texting the world. “Craig Owens can do it on his own”! No one is coming to help me. {there’s a knock at the door}. Mum, I’m going to have to call you back. {to himself} I’m coping, I’m coping on my own. I’m coping on my own. I’m coping on my own—
The Doctor: Hello Craig. I’m back!

The Doctor: Oh, you’ve redecorated! I don’t like it.
Craig: It’s a different house. We moved.
The Doctor: Yes. That’s it.

Craig: Doctor, what are you doing here?
The Doctor: Social call. Thought it about time I tried one out. How are you?
Craig: I’m fine.
The Doctor: This is the bit where I say “I’m fine too”, isn’t it? “I’m fine too.” Good. Love to Sophie. ‘Bye! {the lights flicker} Something’s wrong.

The Doctor: On your own you said, but you’re not. You’re not on your own. Increased sulfur emissions… and look at the state of this place. What are you not telling me?
Craig: Doctor, please—
The Doctor: Shush!
Craig: No you shush!
The Doctor: Shush!
Craig: Shush!
The Doctor: No you shush!

The Doctor: Whoever you are, get off this planet! {the baby starts crying}
Craig: You’ve woken him.

The Doctor: So when you say, “on your own”…
Craig: I meant on my own with the baby, yes. Because no one thinks I can cope on my own with the baby. Which is so unfair because… I can’t cope on my own with him. I can’t! He just cries all the time. I mean, do they have off switches?
The Doctor: Human beings, no. Believe me, I’ve checked.

The Doctor: So what did you call him? Will I blush?
Craig: No, we didn’t call him “The Doctor.”
The Doctor: No, I didn’t think you would.

Craig: What are you doing here anyway?
The Doctor: Yes, he likes that, Alfie. Though personally he prefers to be called Stormaggedon, Dark Lord of All.
Craig: Sorry, what?
The Doctor: That’s what he calls himself.
Craig: How d’you know that?
The Doctor: I speak baby.
Craig: Of course you do.

The Doctor: No! He’s your dad, you can’t just call him “Not Mum.”
Craig: Not mum?
The Doctor: That’s you. “Also Not Mum”. That’s me. And everybody else is… “peasants”. That’s a bit unfortunate.

Craig: What are you here for? What’s happening?
The Doctor: Just popped in to say hello.
Craig: You don’t do that. I checked the upstairs when we moved in. It’s real. And next door, both sides. They’re humans. Is it the fridge? Are there aliens in my fridge?
The Doctor: I just want to see you, Craig. Cross my hearts. Been knocking around on my own for a bit. Bit of a farewell tour.

Craig: You’ve noticed something. You’ve got your noticing face on. I have nightmares about that face.
The Doctor: Nope! Given all that up. Done noticing things. {the light flickers} Didn’t even notice that, for example.

Craig: Can you do the shushing thing?
The Doctor: No, it only works once and only on life forms with underdeveloped brains.
Craig: How— You said “farewell tour”. What do you mean farewell—?
The Doctor: Shush!

The Doctor: Just go, shouldn’t notice things. Just go, stop noticing, just go, stop noticing, just go…. Stop it! Am I noticing? No. No, I am not. And what I am not doing is scanning around for electrical fluctuations. Oh shut up, you. I’m just dropping in on a friend. The last thing I need right now is a patina of teleport energy. I’m going, do you here me, going? Not staying, going. I am through saving them. I am going away now.

The Doctor: It goes up, tiddly up! It goes down, diddly down. For only £49.99, which I personally think is a bit steep. But then again, it’s your parent’s cash and they’ll only waste it on boring stuff like lamps and vegetables. Yawn!

Craig: What the hell are you doing here?
The Doctor: I’m the Doctor, I work in a shop now. I am here to help. Look, they gave me a badge with my name on it in case I forget who I am. Very thoughtful as that does happen.

The Doctor: Craig, mind Yappy!
Craig: What?
The Doctor: Yappy. The Robot Dog. Not as much fun as I remember.

Craig: Why is none of this on the front page?
The Doctor: Oh! Page one has an exclusive on Nina, a local girl who got kicked off Britain’s Got Talent. These people are on pages seven, nineteen and twenty-two. Because no one’s noticed yet. They’re far too excited about Nina’s emotional journey, which—in fairness—is quite inspiring.

The Doctor: Just between you, me and Stormy—don’t want to frighten any punters. Someone’s been using the teleport below right here in the shop. Missing people last seen here in this area. Before you ask: CCTV’s been wiped.
Craig: But teleport? A big— A teleport? Like a “beam-me-up” teleport like you see in Star Trek?
The Doctor: Exactly! Someone’s been using a beam-me-up Star Trek teleport. Could be disguised as anything.

Craig: Was that the lights again?
The Doctor: Yes, that’s it. That’s all. It’s always the lights.
Craig: Why did you say it like that?
The Doctor: Like what? {trying to lower his voice} Like what what what?
Craig: Like that. In that high-pitched voice?

Craig: Doctor, are you going to kiss me?
The Doctor: Yes, Craig. Yes I am. would you like that? Bit out of practice but I’ve had some wonderful feedback.

The Doctor: Craig, take Alfie and go.
Craig: No.
The Doctor: No?
Craig: No. I remember from last time. People got killed. People that didn’t know you. I know where it’s safest for me and Alfie and that’s right next to you.
The Doctor: Is that so?
Craig: Yeah, you always win. You always survive.
The Doctor: Those were the days.

Craig: Where am I investigating?
The Doctor: Look around. Ask questions. People like it when you’re with a baby. Babies are sweet. People talk to you. That’s why I usually take a human with me.
Craig: So I’m your baby.
The Doctor: You’re my baby!

Val (Lynda Baron): Hope you don’t mind my saying, Doctor, but I think you look ever so sweet. You and your partner and your baby.
The Doctor: Partner. Yes. I like it. Is it better than companion?
Val: Companion. Sounds old fashioned. There’s no need to be coy these days.

The Doctor: Silver rat. Glowing red eyes.
Val: Yes. Then it zizzed off! I wanted to get one for my nephew but stockroom say there’s no such item.
The Doctor: Oh I bet they do.

The Doctor: Nope. Hold on. Un-shush.

Craig: I bet you excrete some sort of gas that makes people love you.
The Doctor: Would that I could, Craig.

The Doctor: Ah! Sorry madame. I’d try that in red if I were you.

The Doctor: Well you love me. I’ve never excreted any weird alien gasses into you.
Craig: I don’t love you. Don’t start that again.
The Doctor to Alfie: Yeah, I know. Of course he does. Of course you do! We’re partners.
Craig: Yeah, but I did exactly what you would have done and I nearly got arrested.
The Doctor: Stormy thinks you should believe in yourself more.
Craig: Great, so now my baby’s reviewing me.

The Doctor: Cybermats are infiltrators. Very small, very deadly. They collect power like bees collect pollen.

The Doctor: Craig! It’s a coincidence! It happens. It’s what the universe does for— {he sees Amy and Rory}. fun.

The Doctor: Right. Let’s be having you then, Cybermat!

Craig: Couldn’t you put that on quiet?
The Doctor: No! Its a sonic screwdriver! Sonic equals sound.

Craig: Why do I need a papoose?
The Doctor: Alfie wants you attached to him. You are far too slow when he summons you.
Craig: Is he going to stop giving me marks?
The Doctor: Never. It’s parenthood. Couldn’t you just have got a babysitter? {Alfie chimes in} No. Any babysitter. It doesn’t have to be a hot one.

Craig: Are you okay?
The Doctor: I should be dead, but the arm it chopped me with, it was damaged. Old, spare parts. Must have changed those missing people.
Craig: Changed the missing into cybermen? Why didn’t they change you?
The Doctor: Long story. I’m not exactly compatible. But why are they using spare parts? Why? Everything I find out makes less sense.

Craig: We’ve gotta go. We’ve gotta get back to base.
The Doctor: We’ve got a base? When did we get a base?

The Doctor: Stop crying. You’ve got a lot to look forward to, you know. A normal human life on Earth. Mortgage repayments. The nine-to-five. A persistent, nagging sense of spiritual emptiness. Save the tears for later, boy-o. Oh, that was crabby. That was old. But I am old, Stormy. I am so old. So near the end.

The Doctor: You could be anything. {Alfie gurgles} Yes, I know. You could walk amongst the stars. They don’t actually look like that you know. They’re a lot more impressive.

The Doctor: You know when I was little like you I dreamt of the stars. Yeah. I think it’s fair to say, in the language of your age, that I lived my dream. I owned the stage. Gave it a hundred and ten percent. I hope you have as much fun as I did, Alfie.

The Doctor: Alfie, why is there a sinister beeping coming from behind me?

The Doctor: It must be shielded from metastatic energy. Of course!
Craig: Of course!
The Doctor: Don’t worry, I have an app for that.

The Doctor: No. I am a stupid selfish man. Always have been. I should have made you go. I should never have come here.
Craig: What would have happened if you hadn’t come? Who else knows about cybermen and teleports.
The Doctor: I put people in danger.
Craig: Stop beating yourself up! If it weren’t for you, this whole planet would be in absolute ruin.

The Doctor: Craig, very soon I won’t be here. My time is running out. I don’t mean Exidor. “Silence will fall when the question is asked.” I don’t even know what the question is. I always knew I’d die still asking. The thing is, Craig, it’s tomorrow. Can’t put it off anymore. Tomorrow is the day I—.

The Doctor: Safe mode. Clever me. Come along, bitey.

Val: You found the silver rat?
The Doctor: But where are the silver men?

The Doctor: They must have had a back-up system. Something complicated. Something powerful. Something shielded. Something like… a door? A door. A desillium bonded steel door disguised as a wall. That is cheating! So. They didn’t teleport down. They climbed up.

Cyberman: You have come to us.
The Doctor: Took me awhile. Lot on my mind.

The Doctor: Listen to me. I believe in you. I believe you can do this. I’ve always believed. In all of you, all my life. I’m going to die, Craig. Tomorrow I’m going to die. But I don’t mind if you just prove me right! Craig!

Cyberman: Emotions eradicated. Conversion complete. {beeping} Alert! Emotional subsystems rebooting. This is impossible.
The Doctor: He can hear him. He can hear Alfie. Oh please, just give me this. Craig, you wanted a chance to prove you’re a dad. You are never gonna get a better one than this.

Cyberman: What is happening?
The Doctor: What’s happening, you metal moron, a baby is crying. And you better watch out! Because guess what? Ha ha! Daddy’s coming home!

The Doctor: That was another review. Ten out of ten!
Craig: The Cybermen. They blew up. I blew ’em up with love.
The Doctor: No. That’s impossible. And also grossly sentimental and over-simplistic. You destroyed them because of the deeply-ingrained hereditary human trait to protect one’s own genes. Which in turn triggered a… a… Um. Yeah. Love. You blew them up with love.

The Doctor: The building should be totally safe, structurally. And of course the bonded desillium contained the explosion.
Kelly (Holly Dempsey): Right. Why are you telling me all this?
The Doctor: I don’t know. Shush.

The Doctor: See. I do come back.
Craig: How did you… ?
The Doctor: Time machine. But even with time travel, getting glazers on a Sunday… tricky.
Craig: You went back in time. That means you used up your hours. what about Exidor?
The Doctor: What about you being in trouble with Sophie when she comes back? I couldn’t let that happen.
Craig: You used up your time for me?
The Doctor: Of course I did. You’re me mate.

The Doctor: Alfie. He prefers the name Alfie now. And he’s very proud of his dad.
Craig: He calls me dad?
The Doctor: Yeah, of course he does. Now.

The Doctor: Well. Now it’s time. I have to go.
Craig: Doctor, I know that something’s wrong. I can help you.
The Doctor: Nobody can help me. I hope Sophie won’t mind. I need these {he grabs the too-familiar blue envelopes}.
Craig: Where are you going to go?
The Doctor: America.
Craig: Sophie will be home any second. Are you sure?
The Doctor: I can’t miss this appointment, Craig. Goodbye, mate.
Craig: Wait there. One second. {he comes back with a Stetson}

The Doctor: Well then, old girl. One last trip, eh?

The Doctor: Hey. I’m the Doctor. I was here to help. And you are very very welcome.

View all quotes from Closing Time

The Wedding of River Song

London 5:02pm 22nd April, 2011

Emperor Churchill: “Tick tock goes the clock,” as the old song says. But they don’t, do they? The clocks never tick. “Something has happened to time.” That’s what you say. What you never stop saying. “All of history is happening at once.” But what does that mean? What happened? Explain to me in terms that I can understand. What happened to time?
The Doctor: A woman.

Earlier…

The Doctor: Imagine you were dying. Imagine you were afraid and a long way from home in terrible pain. Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, you looked up and saw the face of the Devil himself. Hello, Dalek.

Dalek: Emergency! Emergency! Weapons system disabled! Emergency!
The Doctor: Hush now. I need some information from your data core. Everything the Daleks know about the Silence.

The Docks of Calisto B

The Doctor: Gideon Vandaleur. Get him. Now.
Barman (Sean Buckley): Who says he’s here? {the Doctor slaps down a Dalek eyestalk}.

The Doctor: Father Gideon Vandaleur. Former envoy of the Silence. My condolences.
Gideon Vandaleur (Niall Greig Fulton): Your what?
The Doctor: Gideon Vandaleur has been dead for six months. {he looks into the eye} Can I speak to the captain please?

The Doctor: Hello again. The Teselecta time-traveling, space changing robot powered by miniaturized people. Never get bored of that. Long time since Berlin.
Carter (Richard Dillane): Doctor, what have you done to our systems?
The Doctor: They’ll be fine if you behave. Now, this unit can disguise itself as anyone in the universe. So if you’re posing as Vandaleur you’re investigating the Silence. Tell me about them.
Carter: Tell you what?
The Doctor: One thing. Just one. Their weakest link.

The Doctor: The crowd are getting restless. They know the queen is your only legal move. Except you’ve already moved it twelve times, which means there are now four million volts running through it. {the crowd grows impatient} That’s why they call it live chess. Even with the gauntlet, you’ll never make it to bishop four alive.
Gantok (Rondo Haxton): I’m a dead man unless you concede the game.
The Doctor: But I’m winning.
Gantok: Name your price.
The Doctor: Information.
Gantok: I work for the Silence. They would kill me.
The Doctor: They’re going to kill me too, very soon. I was just going to lie down and take it. But you know what? Before I go, I’d like to know why I have to die.
Gantok: Dorium Maldovar. He’s the only one that can help you.
The Doctor: Dorium’s dead. The monks beheaded him at Demon’s Run.
Gantok: I know. Concede the game, Doctor, and I’ll take you to him.

Gantok: Seventh transept. Where the Headless Monks keep the leftovers. Watch your step, there are traps everywhere.
The Doctor: I hate rats.
Gantok: There are no rats in the transept.
The Doctor: Good.
Gantok: The skulls eat them.

Gantok: The Headless Monks behead you alive, remember?
The Doctor: Why are some of them in boxes?
Gantok: Because some people are rich. And some people are left to rot. Dorium Maldovar was always very rich.

Dorium Maldovar (Simon Fisher-Becker): Hello? Is someone there? Ah! Doctor! Thank god it’s you. The monks, they turned on me.
The Doctor: Well. I’m afraid they rather did. A bit.
Maldovar: Give it to me straight, Doctor. How bad are my injuries?
The Doctor: Well… {Dorium starts laughing}
Maldovar: Oh! Your face!
The Doctor: Oh you…

Churchill: This is absurd. Other worlds, carnivorous skulls. Talking heads. I don’t know why I’m listening to you.
The Doctor: Because in another reality you and I are friends. And you sense that. Just as you sense there is something wrong with time.
Churchill: You mentioned a woman.
The Doctor: Yes. I’m getting to her.
Churchill: What’s she like? Attractive, I assume.
The Doctor: Hell. In high heels.
Churchill: Tell me more.

Maldovar: Oh it’s not so bad, really, as long as they get your box the right way up. I got a media chip fitted in my head years ago and the WiFi down here is excellent. So I keep myself entertained.
The Doctor: I need to know about the Silence.
Maldovar: Oh. They’re a religious order of great power and discretion. The sentinels of history, as they like to call themselves.
The Doctor: And they want me dead?
Maldovar: No, not really. They just don’t want you to remain alive.
The Doctor: That’s okay then. I was a bit worried for a minute there.
Maldovar: You’re a man with a long and dangerous past. But your future is infinitely more terrifying. The Silence believe it must be averted
The Doctor: You know, you could have told me this last time we met.
Maldovar: It was a busy day and I got beheaded!
The Doctor: What’s so dangerous about my future?
Maldovar: On the Fields of Trenzalore, on the Fall of the Eleventh, when no living creature can speak falsely or fail to answer, a question will be asked. A question that must never ever be answered.
The Doctor: “Silence will fall when the question is asked.”
Maldovar: “Silence must fall” would be a better translation. The Silence are determined that the questions will never be answered, that the Doctor will never reach Trenzalore.
The Doctor: I don’t understand, what’s it got to do with me?
Maldovar: The first question—the oldest question in the universe hidden in plain sight. would you like to know what it is?
The Doctor: Yes.
Maldovar: Are you sure? {the skulls start turning} Very very sure?
The Doctor: Of course.
Maldovar: Then I shall tell you. But on your own head be it.

Churchill: But what was the question? Why did it mean your death?
The Doctor: Suppose there was a man who knew a secret. A terrible, dangerous secret that must never be told. How would you erase that secret from the world—destroy it forever—before it can be spoken?
Churchill: If I had to, I’d destroy the man.
The Doctor: “And Silence would fall.” All those times I heard those words, I never realized it was my silence. My death. The Doctor will fall.

The Doctor: Why are we here?
Churchill: This—this is the Senate room.
The Doctor: Why did we leave you office?
Churchill: Well. We wanted a stroll, didn’t we.
The Doctor checking his pulse: I think I’ve been running. Why do you have your revolver?
Churchill: Well. You’re dangerous company, soothsayer.
The Doctor noticing a mark on his arm: Yes. I think I am.
Churchill: Resume your story.

Maldovar: Doctor, please. Open my hatch. I’ve got an awful headache. Which to be honest means more than it used to. It’s like some terrible weight pressing down on my— {realizes he’s upside down} Oh. I see.
The Doctor: Why Lake Silencio? Why Utah?
Maldovar: It’s a still point in time. Makes it easier to create a fixed point. And your death is a fixed point, Doctor. You can’t run away from this.
The Doctor: I’ve been running all my life. Why should I stop?
Maldovar: Because now you know what’s at stake, why your life must end.
The Doctor: Not today.
Maldovar: What’s the point in delaying? How long have you delayed already?
The Doctor: Been knocking about, bit if a farewell tour. Things to do, people to see. There’s always more. I can invent a new color, save the dodo, join the Beatles. {on the phone} Hello, it’s me! Get him, tell him we’re going out and it’s all on me except for the money and the driving! {to Dorium} I have got a time machine, Dorium. It’s all still going on. For me it never stops. Liz the First is still waiting in a glade to elope with me. I could help Rose Tyler with her homework. I could go on all Jack’s stag parties in one night.
Maldovar: Time catches up with us all, Doctor!
The Doctor: Well it has never laid a glove on me!

The Doctor: Hello.
Nurse (Katharine Burford): Doctor, I’m so sorry. We didn’t know how to contact you. I’m afraid Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart passed away a few months ago. Doctor?
The Doctor: Ah… Yes, yes.
Nurse: It was very peaceful. Talked a lot about you if that’s any comfort. Always made us pour an extra brandy in case you came ’round one of these days.

Maldovar: Doctor, what’s wrong?
The Doctor: Nothing, I just… {he takes the TARDIS blue envelopes from his pocket} It’s time. It’s time.

Carter: Surely you could deliver the messages yourself.
The Doctor: It would involve crossing my own time stream. Best not.
Carter: According to our files, this is the end for you. Your final journey. We’ll deliver your messages. You can depend on us.
The Doctor: Thank you.

Churchill: Why would you do this? Of all the things you’ve told me, this I find hardest to believe. Why? To invite your friends to see your death?
The Doctor: I had to die. I didn’t have to die alone.

The Doctor: Amy and Rory. The Last Centurion and The Girl Who Waited. However dark it got, I’d turn around an there they’d be. If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.
Churchill: And did you tell them this was going to happen?
The Doctor: It would help if you didn’t keep asking questions.

Churchill: And this woman you spoke of, did you invite her?
The Doctor: Yes. She was there. River Song came twice.

Rory: So when are we going to 1969?
The Doctor: Everything was in place. I only had to do one more thing. I only had to die.
River: Oh my god.
The Doctor: All of you just stay back. Whatever happens now you do not interfere.

The Doctor: Well then. Here we are at last.
River: I can’t stop it. The suit’s in control.
The Doctor: You’re not supposed to. This has to happen.
River: Run.
The Doctor: Did run. Running brought me here.
River: I tried to fight it but I can’t. It’s too strong.
The Doctor: I know. It’s okay. This is where I die. This is a fixed point. This must happen—this always happens. Don’t worry. You won’t even remember this. Look over there.
River: It’s me. How can I be there?
The Doctor: That’s you from the future. Serving time for a murder you probably can’t remember. My murder.
River: Why would you do that? Make me watch?
The Doctor: So that you know this is inevitable. And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven.
River: Please, my love. Please please, just run.
The Doctor: Can’t.
River: Time can be rewritten.
The Doctor: Don’t you dare. Goodbye, River.

River: Hello Sweetie.
The Doctor: What have you done?!
River: Well I think I just drained my weapons systems.
The Doctor: But this is fixed! This is a fixed point in time!
River: Fixed points can be rewritten.
The Doctor: No they can’t, of course they can’t! Who told you—

Churchill: Well? What happened?
The Doctor: Nothing.
Churchill: Nothing?
The Doctor: Nothing happened. And then it kept happening. Or if you’d prefer, everything happened at once and it won’t ever stop. Time is dying. It’s going to be five-oh-two in the afternoon for all eternity. The needle’s stuck on the record.
Churchill: A record? Good lord, man, have you never heard of downloads?
The Doctor: Said Winston Churchill.

Churchill: Gun smoke. That’s gun smoke. {looking at his revolver} Oh. I appear to have fired this.
The Doctor: We seem to be defending ourselves.
Churchill: I don’t understand.
The Doctor: The creatures that lead the Silence. Remarkable things, and memory-proof.
Churchill: But what does that mean?
The Doctor: Well you can’t remember them. The moment you look away you forget they were ever there. Don’t panic! In small numbers they’re not too difficult.

Churchill: Who the Devil are you? Identify yourself!
Amy: Pond. Amelia Pond.
The Doctor: No, she’s on our side. it’s okay, Winston. {notices the eye patch}. No. No, Amy. Amy. Why are you wearing that?

The Doctor: Amy.
Amy: Those stun guns aren’t fun. I’m sorry. I wanted to avoid a long conversation. You need to get up though. We’ll be in Cairo shortly.
The Doctor: Amy Pond. Amelia Pond from Leadworth, please listen to me. I know it seems impossible but you know me. In another version of reality you and I were best friends. We travelled together, we had adventures. Amelia Pond, you grew up with a time rift in the wall of your bedroom. You can see what others can’t. You can remember things that never happened. And if you try, if you really really try, you’ll be able to— {notices he’s brandishing a TARDIS model} Oh.

Amy: You look rubbish.
The Doctor: You look wonderful.
Amy: So do you. But don’t worry. {she pulls out his suit} We’ll soon fix that.
The Doctor: Oh. Geronimo.

The Doctor: Okay, you can turn around now. How do I look?
Amy: Cool.
The Doctor: Really?
Amy: No.
The Doctor: Cool office, though. Why do you have an office? Are you like a special agent boss lady or something? Not sure about the eye patch though.
Amy: it’s not an eye patch Time’s gone wrong. Some of us noticed. There’s a whole team of us working on it. You’ll see.

The Doctor: And you’ve got an office on a train. That is so cool. Can I have an office? Never had an office before. Or a train. Or a train-slash-office.
Amy: God, I’ve missed you!
The Doctor: Okay. Hugging and missing now. Where’s the Roman?
Amy: You mean Rory? My husband, Rory, yeah? {she grabs a drawing} That’s him, isn’t it? I have no idea. I can’t find him but I love him very much, don’t I? {it’s not Rory}
The Doctor: Apparently.

Amy: I have to keep doing this, writing and drawing things. It’s just so hard to keep remembering.
The Doctor: But it’s not your fault. Time’s gone wrong. Do you remember why?
Amy: Lakeside.
The Doctor: Lake Silencio, Utah. I died.
Amy: But then you didn’t die. See, I remember it twice, different ways.
The Doctor: Two different versions of the same event. Both happening in the same moment. Time, split, wide open. Now look at it. All of history happening at once.
Amy: What does it matter? I mean, can’t we just stay like this?
The Doctor: Time isn’t just frozen, it’s disintegrating. It will spread and spread and all of reality will simply fall apart.

The Doctor: Amy, you’ll find your Rory. You always do. But you really have to look.
Amy: I am looking.
The Doctor: Oh, my Amelia Pond. You don’t always look hard enough.

Amy: Why are you older? If time isn’t really passing then how can you be aging?
The Doctor: Time is still passing for me. Every explosion has an epicenter. I’m it. I’m what’s wrong.
Amy: What’s wrong with you?
The Doctor: I’m still alive.

Area 52

Rory: You have to put it on, sir.
The Doctor: An eye patch? What for?
Amy: It’s not an eye patch
Rory: It’s an iDrive, sir. It communicates directly with the memory centers of the brain. Acts as external storage.
Amy: Only thing that works on them. Because no living mind can remember these things.
Rory: The Silence. We’ve captured over a hundred of them now. All held in this pyramid.
The Doctor: Yeah. I’ve encountered them before. Always wondered what they looked like.
Amy: Well put your iDrive on and you’ll retain the information, but only for as long as you’re wearing it.
The Doctor: The Silence have human servants. They all wear these.
Amy: They’d have to.

Rory: They seem to be noticing you.
The Doctor: Yeah. They would.
Amy: So why aren’t the human race killing Silence on sight anymore?
The Doctor: That was a whole other reality. What are the tanks for?
Rory: They can draw electricity from anything. It’s how they attack. The fluid insulates them. And I really don’t like the way they’re looking at you.
The Doctor: Me neither.
Rory: Ma’am, I’m sure it’s nothing but I should really check this out. They haven’t been this active in awhile. You two, upstairs. Check all the tank seals and then the floors above. Get everyone checking.

The Doctor: Captain Williams, Nice fellow. What’s his first name?
Amy: Captain.

The Doctor: Loyal soldier, waiting to be noticed. Always the pattern. Why is that?
Rory: Sorry sir.
The Doctor: Your boss, you should just ask her out. She likes you. She said so.
Rory: Really sir? What did she say?
The Doctor: Well she just sort of generally indicated—
Rory: What exactly did she say?
The Doctor: She said you were a Mr. Hottie… ness. And that she would like to go out with you for texting and scones.
Rory: You really haven’t done this before, have you?
The Doctor: No I haven’t.

The Doctor: Hi honey, I’m home.
River: And what sort of time do you call this?
Madame Kovarian: The death of time. The end of time. The end of us all. Oh, why couldn’t you just die?
The Doctor: Did my best, dear. I showed up. You just can’t get good psychopaths these days. Love what you’ve done with the pyramids! How did you score all this?
River: Hallucinogenic lipstick. Works wonders on President Kennedy. And Cleopatra was a real pushover.
The Doctor: I always thought so.
River: She mentioned you.
The Doctor: And what did she say?
River: “Put down that gun.”
The Doctor: And did you?
River: Eventually.
Madame Kovarian: Oh they’re flirting. Do I have to watch this?
River: It was such a big mistake, wasn’t it, Madame Kovarian? Take a child, raise her into a perfect psychopath, introduce her to the Doctor. Who else was I going to fall in love with?
The Doctor: That’s not funny, River. Reality is fatally compromised. Tell me you understand that.
River: Dinner?
The Doctor: I don’t have the time, nobody has the time. Because as long as I’m alive, time is dying because of you, River.
River: Because I refused to kill the man I love.
The Doctor: Oh you love me, do you? {he moves toward her}
Amy: Get him!
The Doctor: Oh, that’s sweet of you, isn’t that sweet, come here you. {the guards pull him back}
River: I’m not a fool, sweetie. I know what happens if we touch. {he grabs her arm} Get off me! Get him off me!
Amy: Doctor, no! Let go! Please, you’ve gotta let go!
Dr. Kent: Moving. Time’s moving!
River: Get him off me!
Amy: Doctor!
The Doctor: I’m sorry, River. It’s the only way.

River: Cuff him.
The Doctor: Why do you always have handcuffs? It’s the only way, River. We’re the opposite poles of the disruption. If we touch, we short out the differential. Time can begin again.
River: And I’ll be by a lakeside, killing you.
The Doctor: And time won’t fall apart. The clocks will tick. Reality will continue. There isn’t another way.
River: I didn’t say there was, Sweetie.

River: There are so many theories about you and I, you know.
The Doctor: Idle gossip.
River: Archaeology.
The Doctor: Same thing.
River: Am I the woman who marries you, or the woman who murders you.
The Doctor: Oh… I don’t want to marry you.
River: I don’t want to murder you.
The Doctor: Well this is no fun at all.
River: It isn’t, is it?

The Doctor: We could stop this right now, you and I. Amy, tell her.
Amy: We’ve been working on something. Just let us show you.
The Doctor: No point. There’s nothing you can do. My time is up.
Amy: We’re doing this for you!
The Doctor: And people are dying for me. I won’t thank you for that, Amelia Pond.
River: Just let us show you.
Amy: Please! Captain Williams, how long do we have?
Rory: A couple of minutes.
River: That’s enough. We’re going to the receptor room right at the top of the pyramid. I hope you’re ready for a climb.

The Doctor: What’s this? Oh, it’s a timey-wimey distress beacon. Who built this?
River: I’m a child of the TARDIS. I understand the physics.
The Doctor: But that’s all you’ve got is a distress
beacon?
River: I’ve been sending out a message. A distress call. Outside the bubble of our time. The universe is still turning and I’ve sent a message everywhere. To the future and the past, the beginning and the end of everything. “The Doctor is dying. Please, please help.”
The Doctor: River! River! This is ridiculous! That would mean nothing to anyone. It’s insane. Worse, it’s stupid! You embarrass me.
Amy: We barricaded the door. We’ve got a few minutes. Just tell him. Just tell him, River!
River: Those reports of the sun spots and the solar flares. They’re wrong. They’re aren’t any. It’s not the sun. It’s you. The sky is full of a million million voices, saying, “Yes of course. We’ll help.” You’ve touched so many lives, saved so many people. Did you think when your time came you’d really have to do more than just ask? You’ve decided that the universe is better of without you. But the universe doesn’t agree.
The Doctor: River, no one can help me. A fixed point has been altered. Time is disintegrating.
River: I can’t let you die—
The Doctor: But I have to die!
River: Shut up! I can’t let you without knowing you are loved. By so many and so much. And by no one more than me.
The Doctor: River, you and I, we know what this means. We are ground zero of an explosion that will engulf all reality. Billions and billions will suffer and die.
River: I’ll suffer if I have to kill you.
The Doctor: More than everything living thing in the universe?!
River: Yes.

The Doctor: Amy, uncuff me now. {she does}. Okay, I need a strip of cloth about a foot long. Anything will do. Never mind. River, take one end of this, wrap it around your hand, and hold it out to me.
River: What am I doing?
The Doctor: As you’re told. Now. In the middle of a combat zone so we’ll have to do the quick version.
Captain Williams, say, “I consent and gladly give.”
Rory: To what?
The Doctor: Just say it! Please.
Rory: I consent and gladly give.
The Doctor: I need you to say it too, mother of the bride.
Amy: I consent and gladly give.
The Doctor: Now, River. I’m about to whisper something in your ear and you have to remember it very very carefully and tell no one what I said. {he whispers}. I just told you my name. Now. There you go. River Song. Melody Pond. You’re the woman who married me. And wife, I have a request. This world is dying and it’s my fault. And I can’t bear it another day. Please, help me. There isn’t another way.
River: Then you may kiss the bride.
The Doctor: I’ll make it a good one.
River: You better.

The Doctor: And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven.

Carter: Is there nothing else we can do?
The Doctor: Actually, thinking about it.

The Doctor: Look into my eye.

The Doctor: The Teselecta. A Doctor in a Doctor suit. Time said I had to be on that beach so I dressed for the occasion. Barely got singed in that boat.
Dorium: So you’re going to do this—let them all think you’re dead?
The Doctor: it’s the only way. Then they can all forget me. I got too big, Dorium. Too noisy. Time to step back into the shadows.
Dorium: And Doctor Song, in prison all her days?
The Doctor: Her days, yes. And her nights… well. That’s between her and me, eh?
Dorium: So many secrets, Doctor. I’ll help you keep them of course.
The Doctor: Well you’re not exactly going anywhere are you?
Dorium: But you’re a fool nonetheless. It’s all still waiting for you. The Fields of Trenzalore. The Fall of the Eleventh. And the question.
The Doctor: Goodbye Dorium.
Dorium: The first question! The question that must never be answered! Hidden in plain sight! The question you’ve been running from all your life! “Doctor Who.” “Doctor Who.” “Doctor Who”!

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