The Impossible Astronaut
Guard: You better get down here, sir. She’s doing it again. […] Doctor Song, sir. She’s packing. Says she’s going to some planet called “America”.
Rory: Hey. Nice hat.
The Doctor: I wear a stetson now. Stetson’s are cool. {it gets shot off his head by…}
River: Hello Sweetie.
River: Alright, then. Where are we? Have we done Easter Island?
The Doctor: Um… yes! I’ve got Easter Island.
River: They worshipped you there. Have you seen the statues?
The Doctor: Jim the Fish.
River: Oh! Jim the Fish! How is he?
The Doctor: Still building his dam.
Amy: River, he can’t be dead. This is not impossible.
River: Whatever that was, it killed him in the middle of his regeneration cycle. His body was already dead. He didn’t make it to the next one.
Amy: Maybe he’s a clone or a duplicate or something.
Canton Everett Delaware III (William Morgan Sheppard): I believe I can save you some time. That most certainly is the Doctor. And he is most certainly dead. He said you’d need this.
Rory: Gasoline?
River: A Time Lord’s body is a miracle. Even a dead one. There are whole empires out there who’d rip this world apart just for one cell. We can’t leave him here. Or anywhere.
Amy: What do we do, Rory?
River: We’re his friends. We do what the Doctor’s friends always do. As we’re told.
Rory: There’s a boat. If we’re going to do this, let’s do it properly.
River: Four.
Rory: Sorry, what?
River: The Doctor numbered the envelopes. You got Three, I was Two. Mr. Delaware was Four.
Rory: So?
River: So. Where’s One?
Rory: What, you think he invited someone else?
River: Well he must have. He planned all of this to the last detail.
Amy: Will you two shut up, it doesn’t matter.
River: He was up to something.
Amy: He’s dead.
River: “Space. 1969.” What did he mean?
Amy: You’re still talking, but it doesn’t matter.
Rory: Hey! It mattered to him.
River: So it matters to us.
Amy: He’s dead.
River: But he still needs us. I know. Amy, I know. But right now we have to focus.
River: When you know it’s the end, who do you call?
Rory: Your friends, people you can trust.
River: Number One. Who did the Doctor trust the most? {The Doctor walks casually out of the back}. This is cold. Even by your standards, this is cold.
The Doctor: Or “hello” as people used to say.
Amy: Doctor.
The Doctor: Just popped out to get my special straw. It adds more fizz.
Amy: You’re okay. How can you be okay?
The Doctor: Hey, of course I’m okay. I’m always okay. I’m the king of okay. Oh, that’s a rubbish title. Forget that title. Rory the Roman! That’s a good title! Hello Rory. And Doctor River Song. Oh you bad bad girl. What trouble have you got for me this time? {she smacks him} Okay. I’m assuming that’s for something I haven’t done yet.
River: Yes it is.
The Doctor: Good. Looking forward to it.
Rory: I don’t understand. How can you be here?
The Doctor: I was invited. Date. Map reference. Same as you lot, I assume. Otherwise it’s a hell of a coincidence.
Amy: River. What’s going on?
River: Amy, ask him what age he is.
The Doctor: Bit personal.
River: Tell her. Tell her what age you are.
The Doctor: Nine hundred and nine.
Amy: But you said you—
River: So where does that leave us, huh? Jim the Fish? Have we done Jim the Fish yet?
The Doctor: Who’s Jim the Fish?
Amy: I don’t understand.
Rory: Yeah you do.
The Doctor: I don’t. What are we all doing here?
River: We’ve been recruited. Something to do with space, 1969. And a man called Canton Everett Delaware the Third.
The Doctor: Recruited by who?
River: Someone who trusts you more than anyone else in the Universe.
The Doctor: And who’s that?
River: Spoilers.
Amy: Explain it again.
River: The Doctor we saw on the beach is a future version two hundred years older than the one up there.
Amy: But all that’s still gonna happen? He’s still gonna die?
River: We’re all going to do that, Amy.
Rory: We’re all not going to arrange our own wake and invite ourselves. So the Doctor, in the future, knowing he’s going to die, recruits his younger self and all of us to… to what, exactly? Avenge him?
River: Uh unh. Avenging’s not his style.
Amy: Save him.
Rory: That’s not his style either.
Amy: We have to tell him.
River: We’ve told him all we can. We can’t even tell him we’ve seen his future self. He’s interacted with his own past. It could rip a hole in the Universe.
Amy: Except he’s done it before!
Amy: But he’d want to know!
River: Would he? Would anyone?
Amy: How can you be okay with this?
River: The Doctor’s death doesn’t frighten me. Nor does my own. There’s a far worse day coming for me.
The Doctor: What? A mysterious summons? You think I’m just going to go? Who sent those messages? I know you know. I can see it in your faces. Don’t play games with me. Don’t ever, ever think you’re capable of that.
River: You’re going to have to trust us this time.
The Doctor: Trust you. Sure. But first of all, Doctor Song, just one thing. Who are you? You’re someone from my future—getting that—but who? {silence}. Okay. Why are you in prison? Who did you kill? Hm? {silence} Now I love a bad girl, me. But trust you? Seriously?
River: Richard Milhouse Nixon. Vietnam. Watergate. There’s some good stuff too.
The Doctor: Not enough.
River: Hippy.
The Doctor: Archaeologist.
The Doctor: Mr. President. That child just told you every you need to know, but you weren’t listening. Never mind, though, ’cause the answer’s yes. I’ll take the case. Fellas, the guns? Really? I just walked into the highest security office in the United States, parked a big blue box on the rug. You think you can just shoot me?
River stepping out of the TARDIS: They’re Americans!
Nixon: Who the are they and… what is that box?
The Doctor: It’s a police box. Can’t you read? I’m your new undercover agent. On loan from Scotland Yard. Code named The Doctor. These are my top operatives. The Legs, The Nose and Mrs. Robinson.
River: I hate you.
The Doctor: No you don’t.
Amy: Space man. Like the one we saw in the lake?
River: Maybe. Probably.
The Doctor: Doctor Song, you’ve got that face on again.
River: What face?
The Doctor: The “He’s hot when he’s clever” face.
River: This is my normal face.
The Doctor: Yes it is.
River: Oh, shut up.
The Doctor: Not a chance.
The Doctor: You realize this is almost certainly a trap of course.
River: I noticed the phone, yes.
Amy: What about it?
River: It’s cut off, so how did the child phone from here?
Amy: Okay, but why would anyone want to trap us?
The Doctor: Don’t know. Let’s see if anyone tries to kill us and work backwards.
River: It’s non-terrestrial. Definitely alien. Probably not even from this time zone.
The Doctor: Which is odd, because look at this!
River: It’s Earth tech. Contemporary.
The Doctor: It’s very contemporary. Cutting edge. This is from the space program.
River: Stolen?
Amy: What, by aliens?
The Doctor: Apparently.
River: We came here because of what we saw in the future. If we try and prevent the future from happening we create a paradox.
Amy: Time can be rewritten.
River: Not all of it.
Amy: Says who?
River: Who d’you think?
The Doctor: Life signs?
River: No. Nothing that’s showing up.
The Doctor: Those are the worst kind.
The Doctor: Be careful!
River: Careful. Tried that once. Ever so dull.
The Doctor: Shout if you get in trouble.
River: Don’t worry. I’m quite the screamer. Now there’s a spoiler for you.
River: All clear. Just tunnels. Nothing down there I can see. Give me five minutes. I want to take another look around.
The Doctor: Stupidly dangerous!
River: Yep. I like it too.
Rory: Is this sensible?
River: God I hope not.
Rory: You and the Doctor. I can kind of picture it.
Rory: What did you mean— what you said to Amy. There’s a worse day coming for you?
River: When I first met the Doctor—a long long time ago—he knew all about me. Think about that. Impressionable young girl and suddenly this man just drops out of the sky. He’s clever and mad and wonderful and… and knows every last thing about her. Imagine what that does to a girl.
Rory: I don’t really have to.
River: Trouble is, it’s all back to front. My past is his future. We’re travelling in opposite directions. Every time we meet I know him more, he knows me less. I live for the days when I see him. But I know that every time I do he’ll be one step further away. The day’s coming when I’ll look into that man’s eyes—my Doctor—and he won’t have the faintest idea who I am. And I think it’s going to kill me.
View all quotes from The Impossible Astronaut
Day of the Moon
New York
River marking her arm: I see you. I see you.
Canton: Dr. Song! Dr. Song!
Canton: It’s over.
River: They’re here, Canton. They’re everywhere.
Canton: I know. America is being invaded.
River: You were invaded a long time ago. America is occupied!
Canton: You’re coming with us, Dr. Song. There’s no way out this time.
River: There’s always a way out. {She swan dives off the building.}
Canton: We found Dr. Song.
The Doctor: These bricks, what are they made of? {switching gears} Where is she?
Canton: She ran. Off the fiftieth floor.
The Doctor: I’d say zero balance dwarf star alloy. The densest material in the Universe. Nothing gets through that. You’re building me the perfect prison. {He turns to Canton} And it still won’t be enough.
Canton: So you’ve seen them, but you don’t remember them?
River: You’ve seen them too. That night at the warehouse. Remember? While you were pretending to hunt us down we saw hundreds of those things. We still don’t know what they look like.
Rory: It’s like they edit themselves out of your memory as soon s you look away. The exact second you’re not looking at them you can’t remember anything.
River: Doctor, it’s Canton. Quick! He needs us.
The Doctor: Who was she? Why put her in here?
River: Put this on, you don’t even need to eat. The suit processes sunlight directly. It’s got built-in weaponry. And a communications system that can hack into anything.
The Doctor: Including the telephone network?
River: Easily.
The Doctor: But why phone the President?
River: It defaults to the highest authority it can find. The little girl gets frightened, the most powerful man on Earth gets a phone call.
River: You won’t learn anything from that envelope, you know.
The Doctor: Purchased on Earth. Perfectly ordinary stationery. TARDIS blue. Summoned by a stranger who won’t even show his face. That’s a first for me. How about you?
River: Our lives are back-to-front. Your future’s my past. Your firsts are my lasts.
The Doctor: Not really what I asked.
River: Ask something else then.
The Doctor: What are the Silence doing, raising a child?
River: Keeping her safe. Even keeping her independent.
The Doctor: Only way to save Amy is to work out what the Silence are doing.
Rory: I know.
The Doctor: And every single thing we learn about them brings us a step closer.
Rory: Yeah, Doctor, I get it. I know.
The Doctor: It’s possible she’s not just any little girl.
River: Well I’d say she’s human going by the life support software.
The Doctor: But?
River: She climbed out of this suit. She forced her way out. She must be incredibly strong.
The Doctor: Incredibly strong and running away. I like her.
River: We should be trying to find her.
The Doctor: Yes, I know. But how? Anyway I have the strangest feeling she’s going to find us.
River: Doctor, a unit like this, would it ever be able to move without an occupant?
The Doctor: Why?
River: Well the little girl said the space man was coming to eat her. Maybe that’s exactly what happened.
The Doctor: Ah, no, stay where you are! ‘Cause look at me, I’m confident. You wanna watch that, me when I’m confident. Oh and this is my friend River. Nice hair, clever, has her own gun. And unlike me she really doesn’t mind shooting people. I shouldn’t like that, kinda do a bit.
River: Thank you, Sweetie.
The Doctor: I know you’re team players and everything, but she’ll definitely kill at least the first three of you.
River: Oh the first seven, easily.
The Doctor: Seven. Really?
River: Oh, eight for you, honey.
The Doctor: Stop it.
River: Make me.
The Doctor: Yeah well, maybe I will.
River: What are you doing?
The Doctor: Helping!
River: You’ve got a screwdriver! Go build a cabinet!
The Doctor: That’s really rude!
River: Shut up and drive.
River: My old fellah didn’t see that, did he? He gets ever so cross.
Rory: So… what kind of doctor are you?
River: Archaeology. Love a tomb.
The Doctor: You could let me fly it!
River: Yeah. Or we could go where we’re supposed to.
The Doctor: You could come with us.
River: I escape often enough, thank you. And I have a promise to live up to. You’ll understand soon enough.
The Doctor: Okay. Up to you. See you next time. Call me!
River: What? That’s it? What’s the matter with you?
The Doctor: Have I forgotten something?
River: Oh… shut up. {she kisses him}
The Doctor: Right. Okay. Interesting.
River: What’s wrong. You’re acting like we’ve never done that before.
The Doctor: We haven’t. Oh, look at the time. Must be off. But it was very nice. It was good. It was unexpected. You know what they say, “There’s a first time for everything.”
River: And a last time.
View all quotes from Day of the Moon
A Good Man Goes to War
Stormcage
River: Oh turn it off! I’m breaking in not out.
River: Oh! Are you boys dressing up as Romans now? I thought nobody read my memos.
Rory: Doctor Song. It’s Rory. Sorry, have we met yet? Time streams. I’m not quite sure where we are.
River: Yes. Yes, we’ve met. Hello, Rory.
Rory: What’s wrong?
River: It’s my birthday. The Doctor took me ice skating on the River Thames in 1814. The last of the Great Frost Fairs. He got Stevie Wonder to sing for me on the London Bridge.
Rory: Stevie Wonder sang in 1814?
River: Yes, he did. But you must never tell him.
Rory: I’ve come from the Doctor too.
River: Yes, but at a different point in time.
Rory: Unless there’s two of them.
River: That’s a whole different birthday.
Rory: He needs you.
River: Demon’s Run.
Rory: How did you know?
River: I’m from his future. I always know.
River: Why on Earth are you wearing that?
Rory: The Doctor’s idea.
River: Of course. His rules of engagement: float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
Rory: Look ridiculous.
River: Have you considered heels?
Rory: They’ve taken Amy. And our baby. The Doctor’s getting some people together. We’re going after her, but he needs you too.
River: I can’t. Not yet anyway.
Rory: I’m sorry?
River: This is the Battle of Demon’s Run. The Doctor’s darkest hour. He’ll rise higher than ever before and then fall so much further. And… I can’t be with him ’til the very end.
Rory: Why not?
River: ‘Cause this is it. This is the day he finds out who I am.
River: Demon’s Run when a good man goes to war
Night will fall and drown the sun
When a good man goes to war
Friendship dies and true love lies
Night will fall and the dark will rise
When a good man goes to war
Demon’s Run, but count the cost
The battle’s won but the child is lost
River: Well then soldier, how goes the day?
The Doctor: Where the hell have you been? Every time you’ve asked I have been there! Where the hell were you today?
River: I couldn’t have prevented this.
The Doctor: You could have tried!
River: And so, my love, could you. {to Amy} I know you’re not all right. But hold tight, Amy. Because you’re going to be.
The Doctor: You think I wanted this? I didn’t do this! This wasn’t me!
River: This was exactly you. All this. All of it. You make them so afraid. When you began all those years ago, sailing off to see the Universe, did you ever think you’d become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name. “Doctor.” The word for healer and wise man throughout the Universe. We get that word from you, you know. If you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word Doctor means “Mighty Warrior.” How far you’ve come. And now they’ve taken a child. The child of your best friends. And they’re going to turn her into a weapon just to bring you down. And all this, my love, in fear of you.
The Doctor: Who are you?
River: Oh look! Your cot. I haven’t seen that in a very long while!
The Doctor: No, tell me who you are.
River: I am telling you. Can’t you read?
The Doctor: Hello.
River: Hello.
The Doctor: But that means!
River: I’m afraid it does.
The Doctor: Oo. But you and I, we’ve…
River: Yes.
The Doctor: How do I look?
River: Amazing.
The Doctor: I better be.
River: Yes, you’d better be.
The Doctor: Vastra and Jenny, ’til the next time. Rory and Amy, I know where to find your daughter and on my life she will be safe! River, get them all home.
Rory: Doctor!
Amy: No! Where are you going? No.
Amy: Where is he going? What did you tell him?
River: Amy, you have to stay calm.
Amy: Tell me what you told the Doctor.
Rory: No, stop it.
River: It’s okay, Rory. She’s fine. She’s good. It’s the TARDIS translation matrix. It takes awhile to kick in with the written word. You have to concentrate.
Amy: I still can’t read it.
River: It’s because it’s Gallifreyan. It doesn’t translate. {she hands her the leaf} But this will. It’s your daughter’s name in the language of the Forest.
Amy: I know my daughter’s name.
River: Except they don’t have a word for pond. The only water in the forest is the river. The Doctor will find your daughter. And he will care for her, whatever it takes. And I know that. It’s me. I’m Melody. I’m your daughter.
View all quotes from A Good Man Goes to War
Let’s Kill Hitler
River Song: Right. Let’s see then. Oo. It’s all going on down there, isn’t it? {checking} The hair! The hair! It just doesn’t stop, does it? Look at that! Everything changes! Oh but I love it. I love it! I’m all sort of… mature. Hello Benjamin.
The Doctor mouthing: Benjamin?
River Song: The teeth. The teeth! The teeth! Oh look at them! {she runs up to the Doctor} Watch out that bow tie. Excuse me, you lot. I need to weigh myself. {she runs off}
Amy: That’s Melody.
Rory: That’s River Song.
River: Who’s River Song?
The Doctor: Spoilers.
River: Spoilers? What’s spoilers? Hang on, just something I have to check.
River: Oh, that’s magnificent! I’m gonna wear lots of jodhpurs.
River: Well enough of all that. Down to business.
The Doctor: Oh hello. I thought we were getting married.
River: I told you, I’m not a wedding person.
Rory: Doctor, what’s she doing?
The Doctor: What she’s programmed to.
Rory: Yeah but where’d she get the gun.
The Doctor: “Hello, Benjamin.”
River: You noticed. {she fires an empty gun}
The Doctor: Of course I noticed. As soon as I knew you were coming I tidied up a bit.
River: I know you did.
The Doctor: I know you know. {she pulls a banana on him}
River: Goodness. Is killing you going to take all day?
The Doctor: Why? You busy?
River: Oh, I’m not complaining.
The Doctor: If you were in a hurry you could have killed me in the corn field.
River: We’d only just met. I’m a psychopath. I’m not rude.
Amy: You are not a psychopath! {to the Doctor} Why would she be a psychopath?
River: Oh mummy, mummy, pay attention. I was trained and conditioned for one purpose. I was born to kill the Doctor.
The Doctor: Demon’s Run. Remember? This is what they were building. My bespoke psychopath.
River: Hello sweetie. {she kisses him}
The Doctor: Only River Song gets to call me that.
River: And who’s River Song?
The Doctor: An old friend of mine.
River: Stupid name.
River: Look at that. Berlin on the eve of war. A whole world about to tear itself apart. Now that’s my kind of town. Mom, Dad, don’t follow me. And yes, that is a warning.
The Doctor: Fair warning from me then.
River: No need, my love. The deed is done. And so are you. {The Doctor stumbles}
Amy: Doctor, what’s wrong?
The Doctor: What have you done? River?
River: Oh, River River River. More than a friend I think.
The Doctor: What have you done?!
River: It was never going to be a gun for you, Doctor. The man of peace. Who understands every kind of warfare except perhaps the cruelest. Kiss kiss. {she dives off the building}.
German Officer: What are you doing here?
River: Well. I was on my way to this gay gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled, when I suddenly thought, “Gosh. The Third Reich’s a bit rubbish. I think I’ll kill the Führer.” Who’s with me?
German Officer: Shoot her.
River: Tip for you all: never shoot a girl while she’s regenerating.
Amy: What are you doing?
River: New body. New town. I’m going shopping.
River: Ladies and gentlemen. I don’t have a thing to wear. Take off your clothes.
River: I might take the age down a little. Just gradually. To freak people out.
Robot Amy: You killed the Doctor.
River: Oh yes, I know dear. You’re not going to keep on about it. Oo. Regeneration. It’s a whole new coloring to work with.
Robot Amy: You killed the Doctor on the orders of the movement known as the Silence, an Academy of the Question. Do you accept and know this to be true?
River: Quite honestly I don’t really remember. It was all a bit of a jumble.
River: You’re dying! And you stopped to change?
The Doctor: Oh, you should always waste time when you don’t have any. Time is not the boss of you. Rule 408.
River: Look at you. You still care. It’s impressive, I’ll give you that.
The Doctor: River, please.
River: Again? Who is this River? She’s got to be a woman. Am I right?
The Doctor: Help me. Save Amy and Rory. Help me.
River: Tell me about her. Go on.
The Doctor: Augh! Just… help me.
River: I seem to be able to fly her. She showed me how. She taught me. Doctor says, I’m the child of the TARDIS, What does he mean?
Amy: Where is he?
The Doctor: Find her. Find River Song and tell her something for me.
River: Tell her what? {he whispers to her} Well I’m sure she knows—
River: Who’s River Song?
Amy: What did he say? The Doctor gave you a message for River Song. What was it? {River’s hands start to glow} What’s happening? River? What are you doing?
River: Just tell me. The Doctor. Is he worth it?
Amy: Yes! Yes, he is!
The Doctor: River. No. What are you doing?
River: Hello Sweetie.
Amy: Hey.
River: Hey. Where am I?
Amy: You’re safe now. Apparently you used all your remaining regenerations in one go. You shouldn’t have done that.
River: Mother. I had to try.
Amy: I know.
River: He said no one could save him. But he must have known I could.
The Doctor: Rule One. The Doctor lies.
Nurse: She just needs to rest. She’ll be absolutely fine.
The Doctor: No. She won’t. {he puts a new blue diary on her nightstand} She will be amazing.
The Luna University 5123
Professor Candy (Paul Bentley): So then. Tell me, why do you want to study archaeology?
River: Well to be perfectly honest, Professor. I’m looking for a good man.
View all quotes from Let’s Kill Hitler
Closing Time
Madame Kovarian (Frances Barber): “Tick tock goes the clock. And what now shall we play? Tick tock goes the clock. Now summer’s gone away.”
River: Hello?
Madame Kovarian: Such a lovely old song. But is it about him?
River: You know about the Doctor?
Madame Kovarian: So very well. Oh don’t try and remember me. We’ve been far too thorough with your dear little head.
River seeing the Silence: What are they? What are those things?
Madame Kovarian: Your owners.
River: My what?
Madame Kovarian: So they made you a doctor today, did they? Doctor River Song. How clever you are. {looking at the date} You understand what this is, don’t you?
River: According to some accounts, it’s the day the Doctor dies.
Madame Kovarian: By Silencio Lake. On the Plain of Sighs. An impossible astronaut will rise from the deep. And strike the Time Lord dead.
River: It’s a story.
Madame Kovarian: And this is where it begins.
Madame Kovarian: You never really escaped us, Melody Pond. We were always coming for you.
River: How do you know who I am?
Madame Kovarian: I made you what you are. The woman who kills the Doctor.
View all quotes from Closing Time
The Wedding of River Song
Rory: So when are we going to 1969?
The Doctor: Everything was in place. I only had to do one more thing. I only had to die.
River: Oh my god.
The Doctor: All of you just stay back. Whatever happens now you do not interfere.
The Doctor: Well then. Here we are at last.
River: I can’t stop it. The suit’s in control.
The Doctor: You’re not supposed to. This has to happen.
River: Run.
The Doctor: Did run. Running brought me here.
River: I tried to fight it but I can’t. It’s too strong.
The Doctor: I know. It’s okay. This is where I die. This is a fixed point. This must happen—this always happens. Don’t worry. You won’t even remember this. Look over there.
River: It’s me. How can I be there?
The Doctor: That’s you from the future. Serving time for a murder you probably can’t remember. My murder.
River: Why would you do that? Make me watch?
The Doctor: So that you know this is inevitable. And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven.
River: Please, my love. Please please, just run.
The Doctor: Can’t.
River: Time can be rewritten.
The Doctor: Don’t you dare. Goodbye, River.
River: Hello Sweetie.
The Doctor: What have you done?!
River: Well I think I just drained my weapons systems.
The Doctor: But this is fixed! This is a fixed point in time!
River: Fixed points can be rewritten.
The Doctor: No they can’t, of course they can’t! Who told you—
The Doctor: Hi honey, I’m home.
River: And what sort of time do you call this?
Madame Kovarian: The death of time. The end of time. The end of us all. Oh, why couldn’t you just die?
The Doctor: Did my best, dear. I showed up. You just can’t get good psychopaths these days. Love what you’ve done with the pyramids! How did you score all this?
River: Hallucinogenic lipstick. Works wonders on President Kennedy. And Cleopatra was a real pushover.
The Doctor: I always thought so.
River: She mentioned you.
The Doctor: And what did she say?
River: “Put down that gun.”
The Doctor: And did you?
River: Eventually.
Madame Kovarian: Oh they’re flirting. Do I have to watch this?
River: It was such a big mistake, wasn’t it, Madame Kovarian? Take a child, raise her into a perfect psychopath, introduce her to the Doctor. Who else was I going to fall in love with?
The Doctor: That’s not funny, River. Reality is fatally compromised. Tell me you understand that.
River: Dinner?
The Doctor: I don’t have the time, nobody has the time. Because as long as I’m alive, time is dying because of you, River.
River: Because I refused to kill the man I love.
The Doctor: Oh you love me, do you? {he moves toward her}
Amy: Get him!
The Doctor: Oh, that’s sweet of you, isn’t that sweet, come here you. {the guards pull him back}
River: I’m not a fool, sweetie. I know what happens if we touch. {he grabs her arm} Get off me! Get him off me!
Amy: Doctor, no! Let go! Please, you’ve gotta let go!
Dr. Kent: Moving. Time’s moving!
River: Get him off me!
Amy: Doctor!
The Doctor: I’m sorry, River. It’s the only way.
River: Cuff him.
The Doctor: Why do you always have handcuffs? It’s the only way, River. We’re the opposite poles of the disruption. If we touch, we short out the differential. Time can begin again.
River: And I’ll be by a lakeside, killing you.
The Doctor: And time won’t fall apart. The clocks will tick. Reality will continue. There isn’t another way.
River: I didn’t say there was, Sweetie.
River: There are so many theories about you and I, you know.
The Doctor: Idle gossip.
River: Archaeology.
The Doctor: Same thing.
River: Am I the woman who marries you, or the woman who murders you.
The Doctor: Oh… I don’t want to marry you.
River: I don’t want to murder you.
The Doctor: Well this is no fun at all.
River: It isn’t, is it?
The Doctor: What’s this? Oh, it’s a timey-wimey distress beacon. Who built this?
River: I’m a child of the TARDIS. I understand the physics.
The Doctor: But that’s all you’ve got is a distress
beacon?
River: I’ve been sending out a message. A distress call. Outside the bubble of our time. The universe is still turning and I’ve sent a message everywhere. To the future and the past, the beginning and the end of everything. “The Doctor is dying. Please, please help.”
The Doctor: River! River! This is ridiculous! That would mean nothing to anyone. It’s insane. Worse, it’s stupid! You embarrass me.
River: Those reports of the sun spots and the solar flares. They’re wrong. They’re aren’t any. It’s not the sun. It’s you. The sky is full of a million million voices, saying, “Yes of course. We’ll help.” You’ve touched so many lives, saved so many people. Did you think when your time came you’d really have to do more than just ask? You’ve decided that the universe is better of without you. But the universe doesn’t agree.
The Doctor: River, no one can help me. A fixed point has been altered. Time is disintegrating.
River: I can’t let you die—
The Doctor: But I have to die!
River: Shut up! I can’t let you without knowing you are loved. By so many and so much. And by no one more than me.
The Doctor: River, you and I, we know what this means. We are ground zero of an explosion that will engulf all reality. Billions and billions will suffer and die.
River: I’ll suffer if I have to kill you.
The Doctor: More than everything living thing in the universe?!
River: Yes.
The Doctor: Amy, uncuff me now. {she does}. Okay, I need a strip of cloth about a foot long. Anything will do. Never mind. River, take one end of this, wrap it around your hand, and hold it out to me.
River: What am I doing?
The Doctor: As you’re told. Now. In the middle of a combat zone so we’ll have to do the quick version.
Captain Williams, say, “I consent and gladly give.”
Rory: To what?
The Doctor: Just say it! Please.
Rory: I consent and gladly give.
The Doctor: I need you to say it too, mother of the bride.
Amy: I consent and gladly give.
The Doctor: Now, River. I’m about to whisper something in your ear and you have to remember it very very carefully and tell no one what I said. {he whispers}. I just told you my name. Now. There you go. River Song. Melody Pond. You’re the woman who married me. And wife, I have a request. This world is dying and it’s my fault. And I can’t bear it another day. Please, help me. There isn’t another way.
River: Then you may kiss the bride.
The Doctor: I’ll make it a good one.
River: You better.
The Doctor: And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven.
Amy: Heard there was a freak meteor shower two miles away. So I got us a bottle.
River: Thank you dear.
Amy: So, where are we?
River: I just climbed out of the Byzantium. You were there. So young. Didn’t have a clue who I was. You’re funny like that. Where are you?
Amy: The Doctor’s dead.
River: How are you doing?
Amy: Who do you think?
River: Well I don’t know unless you tell me.
Amy: I killed someone. Madame Kovarian. In cold blood.
River: In an aborted timeline. In a world that never was.
Amy: Yeah, but I can remember it. So it happened. So I did it. What does that make me now? I need to talk to the Doctor but I can’t now, can I?
River: If you could talk to him, would it make a difference?
Amy: He’s dead now, so I can’t.
River: Oh, Mother. Of course he isn’t.
Amy: Not for you, I suppose. You’re seeing the younger versions of him. Running around having adventures.
River: Yeah, I am. But that’s not what I mean.
Amy: Then what do you mean?
River: Okay. I’m going to tell you what I probably shouldn’t. The Doctor’s last secret. Don’t you want to know what he whispered in my ear.
Amy: He whispered his name.
River: Not his name, no.
Amy: Yeah it was. He said it was.
River: Rule one?
Amy: The Doctor lies.
River: So do I. All the time. Have to. Spoilers. Pretending I don’t know you’re my mother. Pretending I didn’t recognize the space suit in Florida.
Amy: What did he whisper in your ear?
River: Oh… that man. He’s always one step ahead of everyone. Always a plan.
Amy: What did he tell you? River?
Rory: Are you sure? Are you really sure?
River: Of course I’m sure. I’m his wife.
Amy: And I’m his— Mother-in-law.