Mal: You ever see cattle stampede when they got no place to run? It’s kinda like a meat grinder.
Mal: Morbid and creepifying I got no problem with. As long as she does it quiet-like.
Book: I hope this corral’s strong enough to hold them. Shepherd’s a purely figurative title, you know.
Zoe: Next time we smuggle estock let’s make it something smaller.
Wash: Yeah, we should start dealing in the black market beagles.
Simon: What’s going on? What are you doing?
Mal: I’m fixing to do some business. I can’t be herding these steers and your sister too.
Simon: She didn’t mean any harm.
Mal: I never figured she did. But when a man engages in clandestine dealings, he has his preference for things going smooth. She makes things not be smooth.
Simon: Right. I’m very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your cunningly concealed herd of cows.
Mal: It never goes smooth. How come it never goes smooth.
Simon: Some of these words, they’re misspelled. She started correcting my spelling when she was three. She’s trying to tell us something. I think there’s a code.
Wash: Town’s not that big, Kaylee. Believe me when I say he wasn’t there.
Jayne: Knew it. Probably saw them cops, turned tail.
Mal: Doctor can be called many things, coward wouldn’t be one of them though.
Inara: You don’t think they were arrested, do you?
Wash: Worse than that, probably. Looks like they got snatched.
River: Lost. Lost in the woods.
Simon: It’s going to be okay. They’ll find us. Once the Captain realizes what happened, they’ll come.
Townie: See there? No one’s coming for you.
Book: Where’s the doctor? Not back yet?
Zoe: We don’t make him hurry for the little stuff. He’ll be along.
Jayne reading Simon’s diary. Sort of: “Dear Diary, Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hillfolk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever.” {looking at one of Simon’s silk shirts} It’s amazing we kept him this long.
Kaylee: But we’re headed for help. Right?
Zoe: Captain will come up with a plan.
Kaylee: Well that’s good. Right?
Zoe: Possibly you’re not recalling some of his previous plans.
Zoe: You sanguine about the kind of reception we’re apt to receive on an Alliance ship?
Mal: Absolutely. What’s sanguine mean?
Zoe: Sanguine. Hopeful. Plus—point of interest—it also means bloody.
Mal: Well that pretty much covers all the options, don’t it.
Teacher: It’s the way of life in my findings that journeys end when and where they want to and that’s where you make your home.
Simon: This isn’t our home.
Teacher: If it isn’t here, where is it?
Jayne: This place gives me an uncomfortableness.
Zoe: So what do you figure? Shepherd’s got some kind of connection with the Alliance.
Mal: Well that’s what it looks like, still it’d surprise me if he did.
Jayne: See, that’s my whole problem with picking up tourists. They’re never who what they claim to be.
Mal: Seems like everyone’s got a tale to tell.
Mr. Tam: Have you completely lost your mind?
Simon: Pretty nearly.
Mr. Tam: We got the word at the Friedlings. I had to leave the dinner table.
Simon: I’m sorry Dad. You know I would never have tried to save River’s life if I had known there was a dinner party at risk.
Mal: You’re gonna be fine, Shepherd. Alliance patched you up.
Book: Alliance?
Mal: Yeah. They let us come, and they let us go. What kind of ident-card gets us that kind of reception and send-off?
Book: I am a Shepherd. Folks like a man of God.
Mal: No they don’t. Men of God make everyone feel guilty and judged. That’s not what I saw. You have to tell me what really happened.
Book: I surely would. Maybe someday I will. It’s good to be home.
Simon: Take me instead. Take my life for hers.
Patron: The witch must die. God commands it.
Simon: She has done nothing to you! If she dies tonight it won’t be God’s will that killed her, it’ll be you! Your lunacy! Your ignorance!
Mal: Well look at this! Seems we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoe: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain’t we just. Sorry to interrupt, folks. Y’all got something that belongs to us and we’d like it back.
Patron: This is a holy cleansing. You cannot think to thwart God’s will.
Mal: Y’all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? Now I’m not saying you weren’t easy to find. It was kind of out of our way and he didn’t want to come in the first place. Man’s lookin’ to kill some folk. So really it’s his will y’all should worry about thwarting.
Mal: Cut her down.
Patron: The girl is a witch.
Mal: Yeah, but she’s our witch. So cut her the hell down.
Simon: So finally a decent wound on this ship and I miss out.
Simon: Captain, why did you come back for us?
Mal: You’re on my crew.
Simon: Yeah, but you don’t even like me. Why’d you come back?
Mal: You’re on my crew. Why are we still talking about this?