Captain Malcolm Reynolds (Nathan Fillion): The Alliance said they were gonna waltz through Serenity Valley, and we choked ’em with those words. We’ve done the impossible, and that makes us mighty.
Captain Malcolm Reynolds (Nathan Fillion): Hey, listen to me. Bendis, look at me! Listen. We’re holding this valley no matter what.
Bendis: We’re gonna die.
Mal: We’re not going to die. We can’t die, Bendis. And you know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die. Huh? Look at that chiseled jaw! Huh? C’mon. {airplanes approach overhead.} If you won’t listen to me, listen to that. Those are our angels. Gonna blow the alliance to the hot place. Zoe! Tell the 82nd to—
Zoe: They’re not coming. Command says it’s too hot. They’re pulling out. We’re to lay down arms.
Six years later…
Hoban “Wash” Washburne playing with a toy dinosaur: Yes. Yes. This is a fertile land and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land! And we will call it… this land!
Wash as Ceratosaurus: I think we should call it your grave!
Wash as the other dinosaur: Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Wash as Ceratosaurus: Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now die!
Wash as the other dinosaur: Oh no god! Oh, dear God in heaven!
Wash: Kaylee, go to blackout! We’re being buzzed.
Kaylee: Goin’ dark. {turns off all running lights.} Okay. Now I can’t get down.
Aboard the Alliance Cruiser: I.A.V. “Dortmunder”
Captain: It’s a transport ship. Firefly class.
Crew member: They still make those?
Captain: Illegal salvage. Low-life vultures picking the flesh off the dead.
Crew member: Should we deploy gun ships and bring her in?
Captain: Do it.
Wash: Hang on, travelers.
Jayne: Let’s moon ’em.
Zoe: Close one.
Mal: Yeah.
Jayne: Any one you walk away from, right? Long as we got the goods, I call this a win.
Mal: Right. We win.
Kaylee: We’re taking on passengers at Persephone?
Mal: That’s the notion. Gives us a little respectability on the way to Boros. Not to mention the money.
Jayne: Pain in the ass.
Kaylee: No, it’s shiny! I like to meet new people. They’ve all got stories…
Jayne: Captain, can you stop her from being cheerful please?
Mal: I don’t believe there’s a power in the ‘Verse can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just want to duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.
Kaylee: I love my captain.
Zoe: I know something ain’t right.
Wash: Sweetie, we’re crooks. If everything were right we’d be in jail.
Persephone : Eavesdown Docks
Brutus Crewmember: You on a trip, grandpa? Need safe passage? We’re cheap. We’re cheap, we’re clean. The Brutus {he points.} Best ship in the ‘Verse. What’s your dest, Grandpa? C’mon. We’re hittin’ the outer rings.
Shepherd Derrial Book: I never married.
Brutus Crewmember: What?
Book: I’m not a grandpa.
Badger (Mark Sheppard): You’re late.
Mal: You’re lying.
Badger: What did you just say to me?
Mal: You’re well aware we landed two hours ‘fore we planned to, with all the goods you sent us after intact, ready to roll. So your decision to get tetchy, say we’re late, means you’re looking to put us on the defensive right up front. Which means something’s gone wrong. And it didn’t go wrong on our end so why don’t we start again with you telling us what’s up.
Badger: You’re later than I’d like.
Mal: Well I’m sorry to hear that.
Badger: You’d gotten here sooner, you might have beaten the bulletin that came up sayin’ “Rogue vessel, classification Firefly, was spotted pulling illegal salvation on a derelict transport.”
Mal: Didn’t I.D. us. Doesn’t lead to you.
Badger: Naw, it doesn’t. But a government stamp on every molecule of the cargo just maybe might. {Mal’s silent.} Oh. You noticed that. You were going to hand over imprinted goods and just let me twist. Is that the case?
Mal: We didn’t pick the cargo.
Badger: And I didn’t flash my ass at the gorram law! There’s no deal.
Zoe: That ain’t fair.
Badger: Crime and politics, little girl. Th’ situation is always… fluid.
Jayne: Only fluid I see here is the puddle of piss refusing to pay us our wage.
Mal: It doesn’t have to go this way. You know you can still unload those goods. So I can’t help thinking there’s something else at work here.
Badger: What were you in the war? That big war you failed to win. You were a sergeant, yeah? Sergeant Malcolm Reynolds. Balls and Bayonets Brigade. Big, tough veteran. Now you got yourself a ship and you’re a captain. Only I think you’re still a sergeant, see? Still a soldier. Man of honor in a den of thieves. Well this is my gorram den. And I don’ like the way you look down on me. I’m above you. Better than! Businessman, see? Roots in the community. You’re just a scavenger.
Mal: Maybe I’m not a fancy gentleman like you with your… very fine hat. But I do business. We’re here for business.
Badger: Try one of the border planets. They’re a lot more desperate there. Of course, they might kill you. But you stay here, and I just know the Alliance will track you down. I have that feeling.
Mal: Wheel never stops turning, Badger.
Badger: That only matters to the people on the rim.
Kaylee: You’re gonna come with us.
Book: Excuse me?
Kaylee: You like ships. You don’t seem to be looking at the destinations. Whatcha care about is the ships and mine’s the nicest.
Book: She don’t look like much.
Kaylee: Ah… she’ll fool ya. You ever sail in a Firefly?
Book: Long before you were crawling. Not an aught-three though. Didn’t have the extenders. Tended to shake.
Kaylee: So, um, how come you don’t care where you’re going?
Book: ‘Cause how you get there is the worthier part.
Jayne Cobb: I don’t understand why we didn’t leave that little sumbitch in a pool of his own blood.
Mal: We’d be dead. Can’t get paid if you’re dead.
Jayne: Can’t get paid if you crawl away like a little bitty bug, neither. I got a share in this job. Ten percent of nothing is—let me do the math here. Nothing into nothin’. Carry the nothin’…
Zoe: Sir, we don’t want to deal with Patience again.
Mal: Why not?
Zoe: She shot you.
Mal: Well yeah, she did a bit. Still.
Zoe: Now we have a boatload of citizens right on top of our stolen cargo. That’s a fun mix.
Mal: Ain’t no way in the ‘Verse they could find that compartment. Even if they were lookin’ for it.
Zoe: Why not?
Mal: ‘Cause?
Zoe: Oh yeah, this is gonna go great.
Mal: If anyone gets nosy, you know, just… shoot ’em.
Zoe: Shoot ’em?
Mal: Politely.
Mal: You send word to Patience?
Wash: Ain’t heard back yet. Didn’t she shoot you one time?
Mal: Everybody’s making a fuss.
Inara Serra: I’d have to say, this is the first time we’ve had a preacher on board.
Book: Well, I wasn’t expecting to see a state official either. Ambassador. {shakes her hand as Mal laughs.} I’m missing something funny.
Kaylee: Not so funny.
Inara: Ambassador is Mal’s way of—
Mal: She’s a whore, Shep.
Kaylee: The term is companion.
Mal: I always get those mixed up. How’s business?
Inara: None of yours.
Book: The important thing is the spices. A man can live on packaged food from here ’til Judgment Day if he’s got enough rosemary.
Book: Captain, do you mind if I say grace?
Mal: Only if you say it out loud.
Kaylee: You seem so young to be a doctor.
Simon: Yeah. You’re pretty young to be a ship’s mechanic.
Kaylee: I know how. Machines just got workins’ and they talk to me.
Book: That’s a rare gift.
Kaylee: Well not like being a doctor. Helping fix people. That’s important.
Jayne: Little Kaylee here just wishes you was a gynecologist.
Simon about Jayne: What do you pay him for?
Mal: What?
Simon: I was just wondering what his job is. On the ship.
Mal: Public relations.
Inara: So would you like to lecture me on the wickedness of my ways?
Book: I brought you some supper. But if you’d prefer a lecture I have a few very catchy ones prepped. Sin and hellfire. One has lepers.
Inara: I think I’ll pass.
Mal: Forget your toothpaste?
Simon: Are you out of your mind?
Mal: Ah, just about. What’d you tell them?
Simon: Tell who?
Mal: I got exactly no time for games. What do they know?
Simon: You’re a lunatic.
Mal: And you’re a gorram fed.
Book: Hate to say it, Captain. But you’ve got the wrong man. {he indicates Dobson.}
Mal: Son of a bitch.
Lawrence Dobson (Carlos Jacott) :Drop that firearm, Captain Reynolds.
Mal raising his hands: This is not my best day ever.
Dobson: Simon Tam. You are bound by law to stand down. Simon raises his hands.
Mal: What? The doctor? Oh. lowering his hands. Hey. Is there, is there a reward?
Dobson: Get on the ground. Get on the ground!
Simon: Lawman, you are making a mistake.
Mal: You best get on the ground, son. The man seems a mite twitchy.
Book: I think everybody could stand to calm down a bit.
Dobson: This isn’t your business, Shepherd.
Book: The boy’s not going anywhere, Lawman. As I understand it, it’s pretty cold outside.
Mal: Not to worry. Put Lord Fauntleroy here in one of the passenger cells, he won’t make a peep.
Dobson: Get the hell away from that weapon! Do you think I’m a complete back-birth? You’re carrying a fugitive across interplanetary borders. And you think I actually believe you’re bringing medical supplies to Whitefall? As far as I care, everyone on this ship is culpable.
Mal: Well now. That has an effect on the landscape.
Book: Please. We’re very close to true stupidity here.
Dobson: I have a cruiser en route for intercept, so talk all you want. You got about 20 minutes.
Mal: Might have less than that.
Dobson: Yeah. Threaten me.
Book: For gods sake!
Dobson: You think I wouldn’t shoot a shepherd? Back off!
Mal: Just take the kid!
Simon: Get your hands off me!
Dobson: Stand the hell down!
Book: Stop it!
Kaylee: What is everyone— {Dobson turns and shoots her.} Wha?
Inara: Kaylee!
Simon: How do you feel?
Kaylee: A little odd.
Simon: Be still.
Jayne: Outta the way.
Book: You’re not killing this man.
Jayne: Not right away.
Book: He’s no threat.
Kaylee: Why did he… ?
Mal: Oh wow. That ain’t hardly a mosquito bite.
Kaylee: Big mosquito.
Jayne: Move.
Book: Not gonna happen.
Jayne: I ain’t jokin’ with you, Preacher.
Zoe: Jayne! Just tie him up. Do it!
Simon: Kaylee, move your feet. Kaylee, stay with me. Stay with me. Can you move your feet?
Kaylee: Are you asking me to dance?
Simon: She’s going into shock.
Inara: Kaylee, you have to focus.
Simon: The infirmary working?
Mal: Yeah, we got it stocked.
Wash on intercom: Captain, we’ve been hailed by a cruiser. Ordered to stay on course and dock for prisoner transfer.
Simon: Change course. Run.
Mal: Hell with you. You brought this down on us, I’m dumping you with the law.
Inara: Mal, I—
Simon: She’s dying.
Mal: You’re not gonna let her.
Simon: Yes. I am.
Mal: You can’t.
Zoe: No way the feds will let us walk.
Mal: Then we dump him in a shuttle. And leave him for them.
Kaylee: Everybody’s so mad.
Inara: It’s okay, baby.
Simon: Do you know what a stomach wound does to a person?
Mal: I surely do.
Simon: Then you know how crucial the next few minutes are.
Zoe: You let her die, you’ll never make it to the feds.
Simon: She’ll still be dead.
Mal: You rich kids. You think your lives are the only thing that matters. What’d you do? Kill your folks for the family fortune?
Simon: I don’t kill people!
Mal: Then do your job!
Simon: Turn this ship around!
Inara: Enough! Mal, do it.
Mal: Don’t you ever tell me what to do on my— {Kaylee cries out in pain.} Zoe, change course.
Simon: Help me get her up.
Zoe: Wash, change course and go for hard burn. We’re runnin’.
Mal: When this is over you and me are gonna have a personal chat.
Simon: Won’t that be fun. Dope her.
Mal: Well. Let’s see what a man like you would kill for. {he kicks off the top.}
Simon: No, don’t!
Mal: Huh.
Simon: I need to check her vitals.
Mal: Oh, is that what they call it?
Simon: She’s not supposed to wake up for another week. The shock—
Mal: The shock of what? Waking up, finding out she’d been sold to some border world Baron? Or… I’m sorry, was this one for you? Is it true love? Because you do seem a little—
River: Augh!
Mal: What the hell is this?
Simon: This is my sister.
Simon: There was a school. A government-sponsored academy. We had never even heard of it, but it had the most exciting program. The most challenging. We could have sent her anywhere, we had the money, but she wanted to go. She wanted to learn. She was fourteen…. I got a few letters at first and then I didn’t hear for months. Finally I got a letter that made no sense. She talked about things that never happened, jokes that, that we never…. It was a code. It just said… “They’re hurting us. Get me out.”
Inara: Will she be all right?
Simon: I don’t know if she’ll be all right. I don’t know what they did to her. Or why. I just had to keep her safe.
Book: That’s… quite a story, son.
Mal: Yeah. It’s a tale of woe. Very stirring.
Simon: What about us?
Mal: Kaylee comes through, you and your sister get off at Whitefall.
Simon: If she doesn’t come through?
Mal: Then you’re getting off a mite sooner.
Inara: Mal, you know those two won’t survive a day in Whitefall. You throw them out I’m leaving too.
Mal: Might be best you do. You ain’t a part of this business.
Simon: What business is that exactly? I’m a dead man, I can’t know? Is it gold? Drugs? Pirate treasure? What is it that makes you so afraid of the Alliance?
Mal: You don’t want to go down this road with me, boy.
Simon: Oh, you’re not afraid of them? Well I already know you’d sell me out to them for a pat on the head. Hell, you should probably be working for them. You certainly fit the profile— {Mal clocks him.}
Jayne: Saw that coming.
Mal: I’m in a tricky position. I guess you know. Got me a boatload of terribly strange folk making my life a little more interesting then I generally like. Chief among them, an Alliance mole, likes to shoot at girls when he’s nervous. Now I gotta know how close the Alliance is—exactly how much you told them—before Wash scrambled your call. So. I’ve given Jayne here the job of finding out.
Jayne: He was non-specific as to how.
Mal: You only gotta scare him.
Jayne: Pain is scary.
Dobson: Okay, I can see you’re not an idiot.
Jayne: Wish I could say the same, Lawrence. But this is disappointing as hell.
Wash: Picking up a lot of radiation. They’re operating without core containment. That’s… {…} That’s suicide.
Mal: Reavers.
Wash: Oh god. Oh god oh god.
Mal: This is the captain. We’re passing another ship. Looks to be Reavers. From the size probably a raiding party. Could be they’re headed somewhere particular, could be they already hit someone and they’re full up. So everyone stay calm. If we try to run they’re like to chase us. That’s their way. We’re holding course. Should be passing them in a minute, so we’ll see what they do.
Simon: I don’t understand.
Zoe: You’ve never heard of Reavers?
Simon: Well, campfire stories of men gone savage on the edge of space, killing and—
Zoe: They’re not stories.
Simon: What happens if they board us?
Zoe: If they take the ship, they’ll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we’re very very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.
Wash: Didn’t expect to see them here.
Zoe: They’re pushing out further every year too.
Mal: Getting awful crowded in my sky.
Inara: You’re lost in the woods. We all are. Even the captain. The only difference is, he likes it that way.
Mal: The only difference is, the woods are the only place I can see a clear path. What’s your business here?
Inara: It’s my business. The usual. Gave the boy a free thrust since he’s not long for this world. What are you doing in my shuttle?
Mal: It’s my shuttle. You rent it.
Inara: Then when I’m behind on the rent you can enter unasked.
Mal: Thought you were leaving anyhow.
Inara: Well I guess that depends on you.
Mal: Comes time, someone’s gonna have to deal with him. And that should be you. But I don’t think you got the guts. And I know you don’t have the time.
Simon: What do you mean?
Mal: Kaylee’s dead.
Simon: The man’s psychotic.
Wash: You are psychotic!
Mal: No, you should have seen his face. Oh… I’m a bad man.
Zoe: And Kaylee’s really okay?
Mal: Yeah. Tell the truth, I didn’t expect her to heal this quick. Doctor knows his trade, I’ll give him that.
Patience: Malcolm Reynolds.
Mal: Hello Patience.
Patience: I have to say, I didn’t look to be hearing from you anytime soon.
Mal: Well we may not have parted on the best of terms. I realize certain words were exchanged. Also certain… bullets. That’s air through the engines. It’s past. We’re business people. ‘Sides, your days of fightin’ over salvage rights are long behind you, what I hear. What are you, mayor now?
Patience: Just about. You tellin’ the truth about that cargo? ‘Cause your asking price is a bit too reasonable for that much treasure.
Mal: It’s imprinted. Alliance. Hence the discount.
Patience: Oh. Government goods.
Mal: If that doesn’t work for you, no harm. Just thought you could use—
Patience: Alliance don’t scare me. Just collating data as they say. But I like that you’re up front about it. We can deal. I left coordinates for a rendezvous point outside of town.
Mal: See you in the world.
Mal: I believe that woman’s planning to shoot me again.
Jayne: She meant to pay you, she’d have haggled you down some.
Wash: Just a little effort to hide it would have been—
Zoe: Sir, we don’t have to deal with her.
Mal: Yes we do.
Jayne: Here’s a little concept I’ve been working on. Why don’t we shoot her first?
Wash: It is her turn.
Zoe: Nice place for an ambush.
Mal: That it is.
Jayne: Testing. Testing. Captain, can you hear me?
Mal: I’m standing right here.
Jayne: You’re coming through good and loud.
Mal: ‘Cause I’m standing right here.
Zoe: Don’t think it’s a good spot, sir. She still has the advantage over us.
Mal: Everyone always does. That’s what makes us special.
Mal: It’s pure, Patience. Genuine grade A foodstuffs. Protein. Vitamins. Immunization supplements. One of those will feed a family for a month. Longer, if they don’t like their kids too well.
Mal: Well, you were right about this being a bad idea.
Zoe: Thanks for saying, sir.
Mal: Now I did a job. Got nothing but trouble since I did it. Not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character. So let me make this abundantly clear: I do the job. And then I get paid. Go run your little world.
Dobson: I’m not playing anymore. Anybody makes so much as a— {Mal storms on the ship and shoots him}
Mal: How close they need to be to fire those grapplers?
Jayne: C’mon, Wash, you dumb ass! Dodge ’em!
Wash: If everyone could just be quiet a moment.
Mal: How we doing?
Wash: I don’t mean to alarm anybody, but I think we’re being followed.
Book: Is this what life is? Out here?
Inara: Sometimes.
Book: I’ve been out of the Abbey two days. I’ve beaten a law man senseless, fallen in with criminals, I watched the captain shoot the man I swore to protect. I’m not even sure if I think it was wrong.
Inara: Shepherd—
Book: I believe I’m just… I think I’m on the wrong ship.
Inara: Maybe. But maybe you’re exactly where you ought to be.
Mal: How come you didn’t turn on me, Jayne?
Jayne: Money wasn’t good enough.
Mal: What happens when it is?
Jayne: Well… that’ll be an interesting day.
Mal: I imagine it will.
Simon: I’m trying to put this as delicately as I can. How do I know you won’t kill me in my sleep?
Mal: You don’t know me, son, so let me explain this to you once. If I ever kill you, you’ll be awake. You’ll be facing me. And you’ll be armed.
Simon: Are you always this sentimental?
Mal: Had a good day.
Simon: You had the Alliance on you. Criminals and savages. Half the people on the ship have been wounded or shot at—including yourself—and you’re harboring known fugitives.
Mal: Still flying.
Simon: That’s not much.
Mal: It’s enough.