Sam about Bill’s black socks: You look a little bit like my grandpa.
Bill: Oh yeah? Is your grandpa super cool?
Coach Fredricks: Alright, simmer down petunias.
Sam: Don’t you think it’s weird that they want us to, you know, get naked?
Neal: It’s not a burlesque show, Sam. They just want us to shower.
Alan: Hey Schweiber, you gonna show us your circumcision in the showers today?
Neal: Oh yeah, take a number.
Lindsay: I bet you guys are really good.
Sean: I don’t think so.
Lindsay: Do you guys have a name?
Nick: Yeah. Creation.
Daniel: No, we don’t have a name.
Nick: Three o’clock.
Daniel: Nah, I gotta do something with Kim at three.
Ken: How about 3:01?
Daniel: How about 3:15. I gotta fit in your mother.
Ken: You want to sleep with my mom?
Daniel: Mm hm.
Bill: You know to be honest, I don’t smell so good. I could probably use a shower.
Sam: No! We have to stick together.
Neal: Hey, if we don’t shower then we are going to “stick together”. You get it?
Mr. Andopolis (Kevin Tighe): Hello ladies. Gentlemen.
All murmuring: Hello. Hi.
Mr. Andopolis: I take it the symphony’s over.
Ken: This is Mission Control. Requesting permission to rock out.
Nick: Dad? I really think that I could make it as a drummer.
Mr. Andopolis: Nick. I really thought that I could walk on the moon.
Neal playing moon ball: That’s it. I’m gonna die in gym class.
Harris: Our bodies are merely a shell which conceal our heavenly souls.
Bill: I hope I can still have kids.
Neal: Come on, you got hit in the groin. You didn’t have a hysterectomy.
Sam: I’m sick. I’m dizzy. I have a headache. And I’m nauseous.
Fredricks: Alright. Okay, go to the nurse’s office. Pick up the Academy Award on the way there, Weir.
Fredricks: Schweiber put on some clothes. You look like a 50-year-old man.
Kim: You’re a piece of work, Lindsay.
Neal: My mom says that women prefer guys with a good sense of humor.
Bill: But you’re not very funny.
Neal: Screw you. I’m hilarious!
Bill: Oh, how witty. Get this guy on Hollywood Squares.
Bill: This push-up’s too hard to push up.
Lindsay: You know, I didn’t break up the band. I just wanted to help Nick.
Daniel: He doesn’t need any help.
Lindsay: How can you say that? If he doesn’t make it as a drummer then he has to go into the Army.
Daniel: What? He’s not going to make it as a drummer. So why don’t you just let him have some fun before he has to ship off.
Kowchevski: Hey, this ain’t tea with the Queen. You leave now you’re still ten minutes late to class.
Alex (Paul Feig): Hey, good luck with that 29-piecer. Maybe some day you’ll knock it up to an even 30.
Ken: You finally got your wish, Nick. You’re a good as drummer as John Bonham. Of course he’s dead.
Daniel: I wrote out some Iggy Pop and Ramones songs.
Nick: The Ramones? The Ramones only play like three chords, man.
Daniel: Alright, so I’ll learn another one.
Kim: I heard that you jumped him.
Lindsay: What?
Kim: Don’t act innocent, Lindsay. I know you’re a slut.
Alan: You guys are losers and you always will be!
Neal: Then how come you’re the one riding home with no friends.