Sam: Your dad’s the coolest.
Mr. Schweiber (Sam McMurray): I heard that!
Neal: Yeah.
Lindsay: Hey, at least she knows how to play an instrument.
Ken: That’s not playing an instrument. That’s like blowing into a toilet.
Lindsay: Sounds better than your singing.
Ken: Lindsay, here’s an idea: how about you break up our band so you can make out with Nick? Oh wait, you already did that.
Sam: Dad, can I have an Atari for my birthday?
Mr. Weir: An A-what-i?
Sam: Atari.
Mr. Weir: What the heck is that?
Mrs. Weir: That’s one of those expensive video games, isn’t it?
Sam: No. No! It’s not expensive.
Mr. Weir: Well whatever it costs it’s a waste of money. And time. You know, the welfare rolls are full of video game players.
Lindsay: No they’re not.
Mr. Weir: Well they’re gonna be. Trust me.
Lindsay: I’m not going to want him back.
Kim: Alright. Yeah. Sure. Just don’t lead him on, okay? ‘Cause he’s obviously still in love with you.
Lindsay: No he’s not. Nick is the one who broke up with me, remember?
Kim: Oh yeah Lindsay. Like that fooled anybody. Come on!
Daniel: It’s like the tortoise and the hare, alright? The little rabbit gets tired, guess who wins?
Ken: Are we still talking about the same thing?
Daniel: Nick, you want Lindsay back, you gotta give her the cold shoulder.
Nick: I don’t know, man. It doesn’t seem right.
Daniel: Trust me! Don’t call her house, don’t write her notes, and don’t sing to her. Geez, man. We don’t even want to be friends with you after hearing about that one.
Ken: Yeah, Nick. We need our space.
Ken: Hey Sergeant Pepper, where’s the rest of the Lonely Hearts Club Band?
Amy Andrews (Jessica Campbell): Well looks like you ate ’em.
Kim: Yeah, Ken. When are the twins due?
Daniel: That’s not nice.
Amy: Lindsay, is this bonehead a friend of yours?
Lindsay laughing: No, he’s a pain in my ass.
Amy: Well, see you later, Elvis. Good luck with those muttonchops.
Sam: I’m not going to hug you!
Bill: Why? I’m quite secure with my manliness. It’s okay to hug friends.
Bill: Do you remember when we said we’d tell each other everything?
Neal: Yeah.
Bill: Did you mean it?
Neal: Of course.
Bill: Even if it’s something really, really horrible? I mean, it might not be horrible, ’cause it might not be true, but if it is true, it could be pretty horrible.
Neal: Okay, Bill, you’re killing me, you gotta tell me now.
Lindsay: Are you going to be nice to her? ‘Cause I’m not going to do it if you’re going to be a jerk.
Ken: Of course I’ll be nice to her. I’ll be an angel.
Lindsay: Forget it.
Ken: Lindsay! I’m serious.
Lindsay: Okay.
Ken: Do you think that there’s any chance that this might actually happen?
Lindsay: Oh my god!
Ken: What?
Lindsay: You really like her, don’t you?
Ken: I feel odd.
Amy: I love those funky sideburns. Don’t you just want to reach out and touch them?
Neal: I’ll tell you one thing, when I get married I’m never going to cheat on my wife. Even if she gets old and fat.
Bill: Yeah. I’d be happy just to get a wife. But I don’t think I want the kind that gets old and fat.
Sam: I don’t know how you even get one girl. How does anyone get two?
Amy: Boy this is exciting. I could have seen this outside for free.
Ken: You are seeing it for free. I paid for your ticket.
Amy: Yeah. A whole two dollars. How are you going to live without it?
Ken: She seemed to like me, right?
Random Girl: Yeah.
Neal: If this was your dad, you wouldn’t be in such a hurry to get home. I’d be there for you.