Gone Maybe Gone
Translator: I’m not sure what else I can do.
Chuck: Maybe you can translate for me. Do you speak unstable psychopath? {answering the phone} Hello Georgina. To what do I owe the displeasure?
Lily: Charles. You shouldn’t have to come home. But I am so glad you did.
Chuck: Of course.
Lily: And you’re not alone.
Amira (Andrea Gabriel): Amira [?]. Hello.
Chuck: Amira’s a new friend. We met in Dubai.
Amira: I showed Chuck all my favorite spots.
Blair: Usually Chuck can find a woman’s favorite spot all by himself.
Chuck: Blair, you’re back. You brought a friend.
Blair: And who’s your mystery guest?
Chuck: I was just introducing her. Where were we?
Bart: Just leaving.
Blair: Swear to me that nothing is going on between you and Amira. When I saw you two together I thought you’d reneged on the promise we made.
Chuck: Never. She’s a weapon against my father, that’s all. They were involved in some off-the-record business deal. I brought her back to rattle him.
Blair: Oh, she was his translator. Well you’ve always expressed admiration for women who were good with tongues. And she’s very pretty.
Chuck: No prettier than your Jean-Pierre. He’s head of your public relations. Does he know how much you enjoy relations in public? You two seem close.
Blair: Well he’s been my constant companion since I returned to Paris. Focusing on work has made it easier to be away from you.
Chuck: If I had known it would be this difficult going our separate ways I would never have agreed.
Blair: Well we had to come to some kind of agreement or we never would have left that hotel room in Monte Carlo. And we have much to do. But like I said in the casino, I’m all in.
Chuck: My bet’s on us.
Nate: All right, so we’re not too far from where Gossip Girl said she is.
Chuck: What makes you so sure we’re not being lead on a wild goose chase, Nathaniel? I mean Gossip Girl is only slightly less trustworthy than say, Georgina Sparks or… me.
Serena: Can’t you see there’s a party going on?
Chuck: Crashing parties is one of our favorite past times.
Georgina: Especially when it involves infiltrating a sophisticated and deadly cult. Now which one is the charismatic leader?
Chuck: Look at this. Trellis, chairs, pastor. This is a wedding.
Blair: And Serena was wearing a white dress! Either she’s the bride or she’s just really tacky.
Georgina: I told you, she’s obviously had a psychotic break. Serena’s taken too many happy pills and now she thinks she’s Sabrina from Dan’s book.
Dan: That actually sounds vaguely plausible.
Blair: The two of us alone in your limo. You’re really tempting fate, you know that? Unless that’s your intention, of course. We’re both back in New York doing what we have to do. Maybe our pact is just an excuse for us not to be together.
Chuck: Blair, I love you with all of my heart. And that is the reason we cannot take the chance of messing this up.
Blair: Sure. Because what would your father think if you failed. that I distracted you. That you sacrificed your empire for me.
Chuck: Blair, you are a distraction. ‘Cause when we’re together you’re all I think about. And I would give up my empire for you. I would give up everything for you. After a couple nights in Monte Carlo, I lost track of all time.
Blair: We were exhausted and starving. I think I had an actual fever.
Chuck: That’s not why we need to do this. And neither to prove a point to my father.
Blair: Then why?
Chuck: In the past I blamed my mistakes on you and Bart was right on that count. It’s the boy that blames the girl, not the man. And that’s what I want to be with you. It won’t be much longer, I promise.
Amira: Your father gave it to me to keep quiet.
Chuck: About what? For that amount of money you must know a hell of a secret.
Amira: I swear I don’t know what it is. But I’m willing to stick around to find out.
View all quotes from Gone Maybe Gone
High Infidelity
Amira (Andrea Gabriel): I’m booked on the seven o’clock flight to Dubai.
Chuck: Please, just a little more time.
Amira: We’ve spent all week pouring over the notes of every meeting I interpreted for Bart. There’s nothing, Chuck.
Chuck: Look, I know the reason my father faked his death has something to do with this hotel deal. It has to be here.
Amira: We looked. It’s not.
Chuck: Then why would he lie about being in Dubai? Why would all the negotiations happen completely off the books? Why would he pay you ten million dollars not to ask any of these questions.
Amira: If he’s hiding something, I don’t know what. I’m sorry. I need to get home to my fiance. There’s nothing more I can do.
Chuck: You could come to brunch.
Bart Bass (Robert John Burke): How about we call a truce? It would make Lily happy. She’s very upset that you’re trying to destroy our marriage.
Chuck: I don’t care about your marriage and neither do you.
Chuck: You took everything from me. Again and again. Now I’m going to find your secret, I’m going to take everything from you.
View all quotes from High Infidelity
Dirty Rotten Scandals
Nate: I heard you on the phone earlier this morning. It didn’t sound like Blair.
Chuck: Deeper voice, darker mind.
My uncle Jack. His people on this ground in Dubai are helping me to find out who the mystery man with Bart in Amira’s photo is.
Nate: Did he come up with anything?
Chuck: Not yet.
Chuck about Dan: I may be negotiating with terrorists. But you’re harboring a fugitive.
Blair: The minions are on probation because of Poppy-Gate and Dan is still furious with me. I just want someone who can read my mind. Is that too much to ask?
Chuck: Hello Blair.
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Where the Vile Things Are
Chuck: This is the security footage from the van der Woodsen place.
Nate: How’d you get your hands on that?
Chuck: Well Vanya can’t be bribed but the night doorman was remarkably open to a cash payment.
Nate: So what are you looking for?
Chuck: When Ivy was in the apartment she said that
Bart walked in with an envelope he held onto rather tightly. I was hoping to see a return address or some distinguishing marks.
Nate: Did you find anything?
Chuck: Indeed. The envelope had the seal of the First
International Bank of Sudan.
Chuck: Why did you let him leave without getting the information?
Nate: He wasn’t going to give it to me. So I figured I’d just take it. {he pulls out the phone}
Nate: How could someone who hides everything for everyone else pick his birthday for his password?
Chuck: I underestimated you, Nathaniel.
Nate: Well you’re not the first person to say that.
Nate: Traffic… traffic jam. Traffic light. Maybe they had a meeting in a car.
Chuck: Or it’s Bart’s oil trafficking or something else he’s illegally selling.
Nate: Like a nuclear bomb in a briefcase.
Chuck: You watch too many movies.
Chuck: Is there no way around this? Like on the sidewalk!
View all quotes from Where the Vile Things Are
Save the Last Chance
Bart: Cut the crap, Chuck. There’s the Richard Phillips. It used to have a backing. I know you have it.
Chuck: You mean the papers? That hold the proof of your illegal oil activities.
Bart: Papers? You don’t have it. You don’t even know what you’re looking for.
Ivy: Oh sorry to interrupt this riveting Oedipal showdown, but I think I have what you’re looking for.
Nate: What do you want?
Dan: I came to apologize. I’ve been doing some soul-searching.
Chuck: That implies you have a soul.
Dan: That’s funny coming from you.
Nate: That’s hilarious. I mean who would have thought Chuck Bass turns out to be the good guy and Humphrey the villain.
Dan: Well I really want to turn that around. I’m sorry about what I wrote. About all of you. I really want to make amends.
Chuck: Well if you really mean that, you just gave me an idea.
Chuck: I usually frown on negotiating with terrorists, but stamping out my father’s freedom has become my life’s mission.
Ivy: What’s your plan to destroy Lily?
Chuck: Simply play the powerful card we’ve been dealt. The microfilm’s enough to put her away too. As long as she appears to be Bart’s accomplice.
Nate: Chuck… it was, uh, it was all my fault.
Chuck: What was?
Nate: There was nothing I could do. He cornered me.
Chuck: He who? My father?
Bart: If you don’t find it and hand it over, all the torture you wished on Lily, it’ll seem like child’s play.
Chuck: My father’s threats aren’t idle, neither are mine.
Bart: Where are you going? Does Blair need you to come over to kill a spider?
Chuck: I’m not wasting any more time.
Bart: So you’re giving up. What a shocker.
Chuck: You’re right. You know me so well.
Chuck: If you destroy that evidence there is nothing to stop him from hurting anyone, including you.
Lily: That’s ridiculous, Charles. He would never hurt me. Since his return h has done nothing but prove his love.
Chuck: You once told me my father was incapable of love. That is the truth. I just saw him in a hotel room, half-naked, with Ivy.
Lily: That lie is beneath even you, Charles. I’m not going to let you or anyone else threaten our family ever again. {she throws the microfilm in the fire}
Chuck: Don’t! {too late}
Chuck: I’m happy for you, Blair. Forget me.
Blair: Chuck? What happened?
Chuck: What I should have always expected. The only parent who ever loved me–the mother who chose me as a son–abandoned me. I finally had the evidence to vanquish my father. She destroyed it to protect him.
Blair: We’ll find new evidence. We’ll find another way.
Chuck: There is no other way. This was it. It’s over.
Blair: Well even if we can’t put Bart behind bars we can still be together.
Chuck: Stop lying to yourself. We made a pact. You fulfilled your side, I failed at mine. We can’t be together.
Blair: Chuck… please.
Chuck: Go. Just go.
View all quotes from Save the Last Chance
It’s Really Complicated
Chuck: Where’s Monkey? I found his crying at my door comforting.
Nate: I had Ivan from housekeeping take him for a walk.
Chuck: Why? Because you were too busy
reading up on new ways to betray your best friend?
Nate: Chuck, you know how sorry I am. Bart’s threatening to send me to prison for cooking The Spectator’s books. And I don’t want to hurt you again so I’ve been going over these documents just… trying to figure a way out of this whole mess.
Chuck: Good luck with that. Bart Bass is a grand master of manipulation. He has ruined me. You’ll be child’s play. My advice is to lie back and think of England.
Nate: Chuck. Chuck, wake up. Seriously, wake up. Bruce Caplan is dead.
Chuck: The guy was a two-bit crook. Who cares?
Nate: You should. I just got off the phone with his secretary. Apparently Bruce died only a few days after our meeting. He fell off the Bass Enterprises’ yacht.
Chuck: Is there a point to this sob story?
Nate: Your father probably figured out it was Bruce that tipped us off to the microfilm in the painting. Do you honestly think that Bart had nothing to do with his death?
Chuck: Even if he did, I promise you he covered his tracks or destroyed the evidence or had Lily do it for him. Now get out of my room.
Blair: Did somebody call for a Thanksgiving spread?
Chuck: You just cost my dim-witted doorman his holiday bonus.
Blair: Oh. Don’t blame him. I said you called for a stripper and obviously I’m a convincing one.
I’ve come to kidnap you and bring you to Serena and Dan’s Thanksgiving.
Chuck: I’m not going anywhere, but you are unless you want me to call security.
Blair: Don’t be a grumpy Gus. Bart and Lily won’t be there. Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.
Chuck: What part of our last conversation did you not understand? As long as I can’t defeat my father we can never be together.
Blair: Well… just because we can’t live happily ever after doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun once in awhile.
Chuck: We made a pact. Need I remind you what that means?
Blair: But it’s been too long since Monaco. Pocahontas needs her John Smith.
Chuck: I always thought of myself as more of a John Rolfe kind of man.
Blair: That’s my Chuck. You can play both. After dinner.
Chuck: Lily, what are you doing here?
Lily: I live here. And I hope that your presence here today means that you’re going to apologize to your father and put this feud behind you.
Chuck: The problem with putting Bart behind me is that then he can stab me in the back.
Sage: It’s okay, I don’t care if you watch.
Chuck: She’s a keeper, Nate.
Chuck: Maybe we should take a moment to remember Bruce. Who died falling off your yacht. And Sheikh Hassan, whose Bass Industries-provided car burst into flames. I hate it when that happens.
Bart: So what if we provided the Sheikh’s cars? We’re certainly not responsible for every mechanical malfunction.
Chuck: So it’s just a coincidence that the two men who could have sent you to prison happened to die in transportation you so generously provided them?
Chuck: Maybe you can sit down, I can get you a glass of water.
Lily: Oh Charles, I forgot how sweet you are.
Chuck: The only thing that matters is that you finally know the truth.
Lily: I do, and I’m sorry.
Bart: What on earth do you have to be sorry for?
Chuck: For believing all your lies.
Lily: No, actually I was just going to tell Charles how sorry I am for trying to force a reconciliation between the two of you. I know that will never happen and I should have accepted it sooner.
Chuck: Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Lily.
Chuck: Lily, I’ve had all the stepmothering I can handle for one day.
Lily: Charles, please listen to me. I’m a fool for trusting your father all this time. That’s what I was trying to apologize to you for before–
Chuck: Bart interrupted.
Lily: I’m on my way to Miraval for a week and I’m scared to be around your father, and I fear he’s coming after you too.
Chuck: I’m well aware. Unfortunately I think there’s little I can do to stop him. Bruce Caplan and the Sheikh’s death just won’t stick in court without hard evidence. And you made S’mores of all the financial records.
Lily: Not before I carefully read each film with Cece’s jeweler’s loop. She always said that was the best way to catch a husband in a lie. I know she was referring to low-grade diamonds, but still… I’ll send you everything I can remember.
Chuck: Thank you.
Lily: It’s the least I can do. Charles. Be safe.
Blair: I just got your text. What happened?
Chuck: Lily has finally seen the light. She’s going to help me take down Bart. Will you go to war with me?
Blair: I thought you’d never ask.