Gone Maybe Gone
Serena: What the hell are you doing here?
Blair: Ah, looking for you.
Georgina: To observe and record.
Nate: No, we’re here to help you.
Chuck: And get you home.
Dan: And, ah, I don’t even know what I’m doing here. {both Blair and Georgina smack him}
Serena: Can’t you see there’s a party going on?
Chuck: Crashing parties is one of our favorite past times.
Georgina: Especially when it involves infiltrating a sophisticated and deadly cult. Now which one is the charismatic leader?
Serena: Why are you still here?
Blair: You didn’t think I was leaving without you? Or… without saying I’m sorry. Because I am, Serena. Thinking that I really lost you made me regret every horrible thing I ever said to you.
Serena: Well that’s a lot of regret.
Blair: However complicated our friendship got, I shouldn’t have let it go. I shouldn’t have let you go. BFF means Best Friend Forever, right? Well maybe it’s time to admit that we’re stuck with each other.
Serena: I appreciate the kind words. And I know that they’re hard coming from you, but I don’t want to be stuck with you. I want a fresh start. With Steven.
Blair: Fine. If that’s how you want it, stay here. You can have Poughkeepsie. Hell, you can even have Schenectady. But I get Manhattan. Have a nice life.
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High Infidelity
Nate: This is a long time for you to be mad at Blair just for being Blair.
Serena: I’m not mad, I’m maturing. We’re just naturally growing apart.
Serena: Why didn’t you tell me you have a daughter?
Sage: Obviously because she’s the same age as you are.
Steven: Serena is an adult. And she’s not missing her curfew and she’s not in high school.
Serena: Yeah, and I’m not going to let this drag me back into it. I have a check to present.
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Dirty Rotten Scandals
Serena: What do you want?
Blair: I’m not going to even pretend to be calling you as a friend right now, because you have made it quite clear that you are not mine. But I do have a mutually beneficial business opportunity.
Serena: I highly doubt that.
Blair: I need a power It Girl to walk in my show.
Serena: I’m supposed to be mentoring her.
Nate: You? A mentor?
Serena: Just go with it.
Dan: You here on one of your famous blackmail missions? I hope you got it all on film.
Serena: Suck it, Humphrey.
Blair: Oh, the Ice Woman cometh.
Serena: I wanted to apologize about our conversation earlier. I know that I was way out of line.
Blair: Save it, Serena. What do you want?
Blair: So what you’re saying is you want to use me, your non-family, to make a good impression on your new “real” family.
Serena: Yeah. Yeah, having Sage in your show will save my relationship with Steven.
Blair: Okay, I’ll do it.
Serena: Thank you.
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Where the Vile Things Are
Serena: We’ve both burnt a lot of bridges this year. But at least we have each other.
Dan: And I couldn’t be more grateful for letting me camp out, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome. I finally got my first paycheck from Vanity Fair, so I think it’s time to find my own place and let you get back to your life.
Serena: Yeah, I mean we can’t hide out here forever.
Serena: You bought a Vespa?
Dan: That’s right, I forgot how much you like Vespas.
Dan: When we came here on our first date you didn’t know how to hold a cue. Did you spend the last five years taking billiard lessons?
Serena: I could always play.
Dan: You hustled me.
Serena: No, I just wanted to make you feel better after your epic French ordering failure.
Dan: Or maybe you were looking for an excuse for me to put my arms around you.
Serena: A girl never reveals her secrets.
Dan: Unless you’re Gossip Girl.
Gossip Girl: Spotted: Two old flames slumming it on memory lane. Who doesn’t love a sequel?
Serena: Did she give our exact location?
Dan: Yeah, which means our mob of new friends are probably already camped out outside.
Nate: Do not tell me in some twisted turn of events that that sex tape made you miss him.
Serena: No, it’s just… we spent some time together and I don’t know. It brought up some memories.
Nate: Serena, you’re really vulnerable right now after Steven broke up with you. It’s too soon to have real feelings for Dan.
Serena: But what if those feelings never went away?
Serena: I know it sounded bad, but you heard it out of context.
Dan: In what context can “selfish egomaniac” be positive?
Serena: It’s the people that you know best that you can hurt the most.
Serena: You know I had a really great time with you today. I had to believe that you were terrible in order to protect myself.
Dan: Well you know I could actually be terrible if you prefer.
Serena: No. No thank you. I’m good. I much prefer you this way.
Dan: The feeling’s mutual.
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Save the Last Chance
Serena: If we want to be a couple in the real world we need to go out and make amends.
Dan: Okay. Where do we start?
Serena: I’ll start with Blair and you start with Nate. And then afterward brunch and a movie on me.
Serena: Blair, I know that I’ve done some horrible things, but I am so sorry and I’ve come to make amends.
Blair: Amends would imply that there’s something to be mended. What you did can never be fixed.
Serena: You’ve sworn that our friendship is beyond repair in the past but we’ve always gotten through it.
Blair: Well this time is different. You seduced Dan on the bar at the Campbell apartment. At the very same spot you deflowered my first boyfriend. I would never be that cruel to you. On purpose.
Serena: I won’t accept losing you. So. I am just going to sit here until you realize how sorry I am and how much I love you.
Serena: Blair, I just wanna help.
Blair: If I choose to believe you and you really want to help, then come up with a new scheme before those teenage goombas ruin everything.
Serena: Look, I’ll do whatever you want, but you don’t need a scheme. Your line is spectacular and it speaks for itself. And there’s nothing that Sage or anyone can do to change that.
Serena: You’re about to get everything you’ve ever wanted. And tonight’s success is just the beginning.
Blair: Well this line was inspired by both of us. Ruling Constance together. This is your success too. I just hope that this night leads to… the other thing I’ve always wanted. To be with Chuck.
Serena: He loves you more than anything in the whole world.
Blair: You’ll find your great love too.
Dan: So now that we’ve knocked down our last obstacles, are we finally ready to do this?
Serena: Well do you remember that we said if we ever jumped into a relationship again that that would be it? That we would only get one more chance. Are you sure that I’m the one person you want to be with?
Dan: Are you talking about Blair? Serena, yes I’m sure you are the one. Whether or not I’ve admitted it to myself, you have always been the one. How about you?
Serena: Yeah, I’m sure.
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It’s Really Complicated
Dan: It’s our first Thanksgiving back together and given our track record with Thanksgivings it might be kinda risky. Divorces have been filed. Affairs revealed.
Serena: Yes, but that was our parents, not us. Come on. They’re not even gonna be here.
Dan: Okay. I mean if it’s what you really want, I’m in.
Serena: Please Blair. Come on, we really want to spend Thanksgiving with you and I’m not gonna take no for an answer.
Blair: Okay. If that’s what you really want then I as your friend will be there to make sure things run the way they should.
Serena: The van der Woodsens do have a long history of inviting bump-ins.
Serena: Look, I’m fine that your ex is here.
Dan: Because you invited her.
Serena: But we’re together now. I think your stuffing’s burning.
Steven: You know I wanted to thank you again for inviting us. It means a lot to Sage and to me.
Serena: Yeah, of course. I’m sorry, I feel terrible though. I hope you have enough to eat. I forgot you’re gluten-free.
Steven: I’ll be fine. You know, I’m more concerned about you.
Serena: Why? I eat everything.
Steven: I’m talking about you getting back together with Dan. You know, I know I hurt you but… I mean this guy represents everything you said you were trying to escape from. I mean he wrote all those horrible articles about you and your friends.
Serena: Yeah but he didn’t write one about me. I know that Dan has made his mistakes but so have I.
Blair: I’ve been holding my tongue because we’re finally friends again and the only thing I care about is that you are happy and in love. But Dan Humphrey is not the one.
Serena: I don’t want to lose our friendship again either, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say any more.
Blair: He is a self-promoting hipster weasel who’s thrown every one of his friends under the bus, and I’m not going to sit by and wait for him to do it to you too.
Serena: I know in your twisted but loving way you’re trying to be protective. But you’re wrong about Dan. So please just accept him and this’ll be the best Thanksgiving ever.
Serena: I invited you into my home, Dan, and my world. And then you just humiliate me.
Dan: That is the issue. “My world.”
Serena: Oh come on! It’s a figure of speech.
Dan: No, it has always been your world and you’ve never let me forget it. I’ve always been a visitor. The poor kid from Brooklyn who you’ve never seen as an equal to you.
Serena: Okay, so this is your payback. Do you feel better about riding the subway to school since you made a fool of me to everyone?
Dan: What I did is no worse than what all your friends do to each other every day. You try to ruin each other and then you sit down for Thanksgiving. And you call yourselves family.
Serena: You were supposed to be different.
Dan: I used to be. Got me nowhere. So now I’m the same.
Serena: Goodbye Dan.
Blair: Are you okay?
Serena: I don’t know. But you can gloat. You were right.
Blair: For the first time ever I’m sorry I was. Well, ninety percent of me is sorry. Ten percent of me is glad I was right.
Serena: Thanksgiving is ruined once again.
Blair: Are you kidding? What is Thanksgiving without a side of drama? And pie. Apple or pumpkin?
Both.