The Heart of a Saturday Night
Ravens. Who names a football team after an Edgar Allan Poe story?
Pembleton: You and I, we have nothing in common.
Kellerman: What are you talking about? We’re both stuck here in the squadroom, we’re both pissed off about it. I’d say we have something in common.
Pembleton: You are accused of a crime. Not me. You.
Kellerman: So I’m like a class below you, is that what you’re saying?
Kellerman: Screw you, Frank. You know something? You’re not just arrogant. You’re vain. You’re like a pretty girl who never wants to show the bad side of her face.
Pembleton: By the way, Kellerman. You’re okay by me.
Prison Riot
Kellerman: I just want you to know that I’m here for you. if you want a hug, I’d be happy to give you one.
Bayliss: A hug?
Kellerman: Yeah.
Bayliss: Do you and Lewis hug?
Kellerman: Yeah.
Bayliss: A lot?
Kellerman: No, not a lot.
Bayliss: But enough.
Kellerman: What do you mean?
Bayliss: Well, do you want Lewis to hug you more?
Kellerman: Forget I brought this up.
Bayliss: No, no, no. You brought up the hugging thing.
Bad Medicine
Bayliss: I’m a detective, Frank. I’m a keen observer of the human condition. I pick up on the subtlest clues, I react to the slightest suggestion. In short, I deduct.
Pembleton: Who told you?
Tim Bayliss: Brodie.
White Lies
Cox: Don’t you even wonder why?
Munch: Why what?
Cox: Why he lied.
Munch: I’m a Homicide Detective. The only time I wonder why is when they tell me the truth.
Lewis: …He told me, don’t you ever let some knucklehead stand on your corner and shame you. ‘Cause once you’ve done that, you’re done as a beat cop. So what he suggested I do, was that I take out my billy club and smack him upside the head so hard that everybody who heard it knows who had the last word. Luther, you’re on my corner.
The Documentary
Pembleton: It’s too quiet in here. The only thing dead are the phones.
Munch: It’s New Years Eve, Frank. When that ball drops the bodies will start dropping.
Howard: What you got there, Brodie?
Brodie: It’s my documentary on the homicide unit. All you guys.
Lewis: You made a documentary about us?
Brodie: Yeah. I spent all year doing it.
Back Page News: LIfe and Homicide on the Mean Streets of Baltimore
Pembleton: Wait wait wait. That doesn’t make a whole hell of a lot of sense. What does life and homicide have to do with each other?
Brodie: I wanted to juxtapose life and death. You know, the yin and the yang. Homicide is so negative.
Pembleton: Yes it is. It doesn’t get much more negative than homicide.
Munch: Mean Streets? What, are you ripping off Scorsese?
Brodie: I wasn’t ripping him off. I respect the man, but he doesn’t hold a candle to the great documentary filmmakers like Robert Frank or Kenny Baker, Maysles Brothers, Ken Burns.
Munch: Oh yeah. Ken Burns. He’s the only guy ever to manage to make something more boring than a baseball game. A documentary about baseball.
Howard: Pretty tough room, Brodie. Are you sure you want to do this?
Brodie: An artist has to be fearless, Kay. There’s fearless and then there’s crazy.
Pembleton: Shame on you, Brodie. You are a sick and twisted soul.
Brodie: Not as twisted as Mr. Jackson.
Valentine’s Day
Kellerman: You sure you want me with you?
Bayliss: Yeah sure, why not?
Kellerman: I don’t know. Uh, last time we worked together you were kind of snarky.
Bayliss: Snarky?
Kellerman: Yeah, snarky. You know, from the ancient Greek, meaning butthead.
Double Blind
Pembleton: Okay, we got multiple chest wounds, an open door… and a weapon halfway across the living room.
Cox: It’s going to be hell writing this one up as a suicide, I’ll tell you that much.
Gee: That’s what they tell someone in prison just before they punk them. Are you trying to punk me here?
Pembleton: You know, sometimes you’re funny. Then there’s now.