Beecher: Imagine that. Said, Schillinger, and me in a three-way.
Timmy Kirk: If you’re not part of the solution, you’re Satan’s tool.
Kirk: Ever since Jeremiah Cloutier’s unfortunate accident—
Mukada: I would hardly call being bricked up in a wall accidental.
Beecher: I haven’t seen him in months. I’m a little anxious. How do I look?
Rebadow: Anxious.
Beecher: I was hoping you were going to say fuckable.
Alvarez: How do you keep them safe from the other prisoners?
Alicia Hinden: Like I said. Love and trust.
Alvarez: Shit. Now that’s like conjugals and cigarettes.
Hinden: Meaning?
Alvarez: That’s two things don’t exist in Oz.
Schillinger: Hey there Petey. You having some shrink time? That’s good. After all, a trauma like you went through—getting gang raped and all—it’s healthy to talk about the experience. You probably shouldn’t get too specific in the details though. That might not be so healthy after all.
Peter Schibetta: Leave me alone.
Schillinger: Sure. Keep your sunny side up.
Beecher: If you meet him… He’s very seductive. You’re going to fall in love with him, too.
Catherine McClain: I’m willing to take that chance. Besides, I can’t pass up the opportunity to meet my boyfriend’s boyfriend.
Howell: Here you go Keller. A bag of atomic fireballs per your request.
Keller: Thanks Claire. I always need a little something to suck on.
Ryan: Well I got a little somethin’ somethin’ I might bust out at the variety show.
Omar White: Damn. You all right McManus. Oh boy, you a straight-up motherfucking humdinger, boy.
McManus: Yeah, yeah. That’s me. A humdinger.
Kirk: Father, I want to make confession as well. I want to be Roman Catholic again.
Mukada: No.
Kirk: What? What do you… you can’t refuse me.
Mukada: I sure as hell can.
Father Daniel Meehan: I’m on the bottom?
Ryan: You got that right.
Meehan: Look, I have a meeting tomorrow with Father Mukada, and I was thinking that–
Ryan: Lights out means shut the fuck up.
Sister Pete: Look at us. We’re complete and utter failures at out jobs.
Nathan: So what do we do instead?
Sister Pete: Form an all girl band?
Sister Pete: Well, I’ll do… I’ll do everything I can to help.
Keller: Show me your tits.
Sister Pete: Don’t do that.
Said: May I remind you of your promise to yourself never to speak to Keller again?
Beecher: Yeah. Well the great thing about breaking a promise to yourself is that only one person gets hurt. And I can live with my guilt a shitload easier than I can live without ever seeing Keller again.