Present Day
Shawn: It’s really important that I get this girl’s address. I need to go by there.
Juliet: Um. That’s where I’m calling you from. And Shawn, she must be a great hooker. This place is sweet.
Donny Leberman: But why would someone want to buy the virus?
Shawn: I have a guess, and much like this bedspread it’s not pretty.
Gus: This room was paid for in cash and registered to a Val Kilmer.
Shawn: It’s either an alias or Val has officially lost it.
Lassiter: Woah! Take it easy, slugger. What are we dating?
Gus: I can’t believe this, Shawn. First we’re looking for a prostitute, now I’m naked in a parking lot?
Shawn: It’s just like our prom night.
Shawn: Speaking of disasters, Doctor, what is your opinion of Lassiter’s hair?
Dr. Steven Reidman (Judd Nelson): Scientifically, if he were to grow it, his ears wouldn’t stick out as much.
Shawn: According to your file, under medications, you have listed neither Rogaine nor Monoxinil. Is that correct?
Patient: That’s right.
Shawn: Really? You don’t want to try either of those?
Patient: No. Why?
Shawn about the escaped Dr. Mallon: I’m sensing that he has his own stash of the cure.
Juliet: How is that possible?
Shawn: Because not only did he invent it, I am sensing he also stole the Thornberg and then released it.
Gus: You refer to the virus in the feminine tense?
Reidman: Indeed, if you knew her as I do there is no mistaking her for anything other than a she.
Gus: That doesn’t make any sense.
Reidman: Neither do women.
Lassiter: You’re not trained in covert surveillance.
Shawn: Really? What part of training is announcing our presence with a megaphone?
Lassiter: Just go hide in a bathroom and stay out of our way.
Shawn: Alright we’ll go. But not because you told us to. Gus has to tinkle.
Shawn: Gus, something doesn’t make sense to me. He was on his way out when we spotted him. Why did he leave before releasing the jujumagumbo?
Gus: He aborted his plan.
Shawn: I can see him! It’s either him or Michael Ironside.
Juliet: Why would you be having a vision of Michael Ironside?
Shawn: Exactly!
Lassiter about Lake Victoria: I used to practice figure skating there when I was little. {pause} I mean ice hockey.
Shawn: What are you, Michael Vick?
Lassiter: I’m not going to shoot him! He doesn’t know that.
Shawn: He doesn’t know anything. He’s a dog.
Shawn: I realized, in life, we never have as much time as I think we do.
Gus: What do you mean?
Shawn: I mean Jules. I mean all this time, right, we talk, we do our thing. And I’m like, you know, if something’s supposed to happen between us it’ll happen. Just poof! And magic beans coming down on you. But the truth is, my god, she could die today. And she might never know how I feel.
Gus: Juliet you don’t have the Thornberg virus.
Juliet: What? Are you kidding?
Gus: No. Dr. Reidman just told me. Looks like you have more time than you thought.
Shawn: I didn’t wait. I didn’t wait for my decoder ring or my Frankenberry action figure when I was a kid. So what am I waiting for now? All I know is, I don’t want to miss out on the prize.
Juliet: What are you trying to say, Shawn?
Shawn: I… uh…. I don’t know.
Shawn: Donny, have you considered the outside possibility that this girl could be using you?
Donny: Using me? Shawn, I hardly think so.
Shawn: You got your watch back, right?
Donny: Yes.
Gus: So where is it?
Donny: Olga…
Shawn: Olga. Good luck, Donny.
Shawn: Steve! What are you and your porn ‘stache doing here in our office?
Dr. Reidman: A deal is a deal.
Shawn: It is indeed. What are you talking about?
Dr. Reidman: I am not leaving here without your DNA.