Mr. Straight Guy Pageant : “The Mangeant”
Susan Lucci: I would not like to be in your shoes, Fab Five.
Carson: I’d like to be in your shoes. They’re amazing!
Thom about George: He was not a color found in nature.
Carson: It wouldn’t be a pageant if there wasn’t blood.
I’m pretty sure we turned him gay.
His wife is in the front row. I’m pretty sure we didn’t.
Kyan: That was actually a tzujz.
Carson: That was a moving tzujz.
Carson: Slip into something more heterosexual!
Thom: I’m feeling more straight already. What up, ho?
Thom: Who picked out these plastic dice?
Carson: I think they’re playful and ironic!
Married with Cancer Wife: I’m feeling love from my girl in the front row over there.
Carson: Thank you! But I’m over here.
Internet Guy
Thom: Carson, she looks like Patsy Cline.
Carson: It’s very Peggy Sue Went Bowling.
Thom: If I was having this little fun on a date I would have left already.
Kyan: Wow, this is fun! Woo!
Jai: It just goes to show you: the internet is not real life.