O’Neill: General, I’d like to talk to you about this mission upon which we’re about to embark. It seems a bit ridiculous, doesn’t it?
Hammond: Have you met General Ryan?
General Ryan: Hello Colonel.
O’Neill: The General Ryan? Chief of Staff?
General Ryan: That’s right.
O’Neill: Shouldn’t there have been a memo or something?
General Ryan: Thus far we like your work.
O’Neill: Thank you sir. I like yours. Your Air Force. The Air Force. I love the Air Force.
Professor Monroe: That’s assuming that parallel realities occasionally overlap.
Carter: Well I’m fairly confident that that’s the case.
Professor Monroe: Jennifer Hailey is no longer our problem.
Carter: What do you mean?
Professor Monroe: She got into a fight this morning with another cadet. As fond as General Kerrigan is of her, he’ll have to expel her.
Dr. Lee: Are you sure this is such a good idea?
Dr. Hamilton: Hey, I didn’t come halfway across the galaxy to wait for permission to do my job.
Dr. Lee: But Colonel O’Neill—
Dr. Hamilton: Colonel O’Neill doesn’t have a clue what we’re trying to accomplish here. He’s too busy polishing his M16.
O’Neill: Actually it’s a P90. You boys going somewhere?
Dr. Hamilton: This is typical military thinking. You encounter something you don’t understand, you immediately assume it’s a threat.
O’Neill: Well. Until we determine there is no threat, I will assume there is one. Do we have a problem here?
Dr. Hamilton: Colonel, with all due respect—
O’Neill: Really?
Dr. Hamilton: When I agreed to this assignment I was under the impression that I was going to be in charge.
O’Neill: You are in charge. Of the other scientists.
Dr. Hamilton: That you even think you are qualified to decide what we can and can’t do around here is—
Teal’c: Colonel O’Neill is indeed qualified, Dr. Hamilton. Having encountered many alien species, as have I since before you were born. I strongly suggest you do what Colonel O’Neill says.
O’Neill: Thank you, Rocco.
Carter: What were you thinking, breaking the nose of an upperclassman like that?
Cadet Jennifer Hailey: Swing high?
Carter: That’s not funny.
O’Neill: Teal’c and I saw one zip right through a tree. Didn’t even slow it down.
Cadet Hailey: That’s so cool.
O’Neill: That’s exactly what I said! {to Teal’c} I said that.
Cadet Hailey: Colonel, please don’t just dismiss what I’m saying because you expect her to be right.
O’Neill: It doesn’t matter who’s right, Cadet.
Cadet Hailey: Colonel, you’re risking your life for nothing.
O’Neill: The decision’s made.
Cadet Hailey: How can it not matter who’s right?
Carter: If he makes a run for the Gate he’s risking his own life. If he waits he risks everyone’s life.
Teal’c: Are you ready O’Neill?
O’Neill: No. You could warn me.
Teal’c: I am going to shoot you.
O’Neill: I was thinking more along the lines of “on three”. One— {Teal’c shoots him} Two!
O’Neill: I’ll never complain about mosquitoes again.
Cadet Hailey: Is it always like this?
Carter: Nope. Sometimes it gets really exciting.