Carter: Do you know how much trouble you’re in right now? Impersonating a military officer is a federal offense.
Young O’Neill (Michael Welch): I am not impersonating anyone. I am Jack O’Neill.
Teal’c: Are you conducting some sort of scientific experiment O’Neill?
Young O’Neill: Hey, come on, that salsa’s still good.
Young O’Neill: Hey! I realize it doesn’t actually say “colonel” anywhere on my uniform, but it should.
Harlan Beck: Tell him Harley said to watch his six.
Young O’Neill: Hey, yeah, speaking of six.
Jackson: Okay, well… there’s no easy way to tell you this so… Sam’s just gonna come right out and say it.
Sam gives him a look.
Carter: Well, sir… as you know, the Asgard depend on a cloning technology…
Young O’Neill: Oh, for cryin’ out loud.
Teal’c: You have been cloned, O’Neill.
Young O’Neill: Wow. You know I’m really much taller than I think.
O’Neill: Carter?
Carter: Colonel O’Neill, meet… Colonel O’Neill
O’Neill: I just woke up, haven’t had coffee— let alone a pee in seven days—and I find out you stole my ass and made a… Mini-Me. Carter, I should be irked currently, yes?
Loki: I was stripped of my stature after I was caught performing unsanctioned experiments on humans.
O’Neill: What, you’ve got sanctioned ones?
Loki: Your bodies are similar to our original form thousands of years ago. Using your physical makeup as a template, I had hoped to find a way to construct a clone that could contain our massively superior intellect. My research was unsuccessful.
Young O’Neill: So much for massively superior intellect.
O’Neill: I was gonna say that.
O’Neill: You sure about this? I mean it’s high school. {Young O’Neill turns to the group of girls behind him} Yes. Go forth, young man.