Kinsey (Ronny Cox): How would you respond if I told you the Air Force is currently conducting top secret operations with an alien transportation device called a “Stargate”. It was discovered in the early-1900s at Giza. Not too far from the great pyramids.
Dr. Weir: Is this a joke? {Kinsey hands her a note}. What is it?
Kinsey: A note from the president.
Weir opens the note: “This is not a joke.”
Carter: The fate of the world is hanging in the balance and you’ve been sitting in your truck finishing this?
O’Neill: I believe it was double or nothing.
Carter: Okay. 23 across. “The Atomic weight of boron.” The answer is ten.
O’Neill: Yes?
Carter: You wrote the word “fat.”
O’Neill: Your point?
Dr. Weir: I don’t know what’s scarier, the fact that this is all true or the fact that you’re telling me.
Hammond: What happened?
Reynolds: It didn’t quite go according to plan, sir.
Jackson: We have to get him to the infirmary.
O’Neill: I did it again.
President Hayes: I suppose your aversion to the military would be an issue.
Dr. Weir: What are we talking about exactly?
President Hayes: Your running the Stargate program.
Dr. Weir: I am not qualified to negotiate with aliens.
President Hayes: No one is, Doctor.
Dr. Weir: What if I say no, sir?
President Hayes: Never going to happen.
Kinsey: Be careful who you trust, Doctor.
Dr. Weir: Does that include you, sir?
Kinsey: He may be the president, but I am the one person on this fair planet you want on your side. And the one person you don’t want to cross.
O’Neill: Carter, you’re one of this country’s natural resources—if not national treasures. It couldn’t have gone down any other way.
O’Neill: You are so wrong. It’s the perfect analogy. Burns as Goa’uld.
Teal’c: They are merely animated characters, O’Neill.
O’Neill: You are so shallow.
Jackson: Oh please. Teal’c is one of the deepest people I know.
O’Neill: Hope you like Guinness, sir. I find it a refreshing substitute for… food.
Bra’tac: Anubis is gathering the full force of his fleet. He will be here in three days.
President Hayes: I think it was lieutenant last time we spoke, wasn’t it?
Hammond: For both of us. That was a lot of hair ago, sir.
O’Neill: Three days from now is a Thursday. Thursday’s not good for us.
Carter: Why now?
Teal’c: Anubis believes that we know the location of the Lost City.
Carter: We don’t.
Not yet.
Weir: I’m Doctor Elizabeth Weir, Colonel.
Kinsey: You can just call her your one hope of ever stepping through the Stargate again.
O’Neill: Bit of a mouthful.
O’Neill: I come up with the Lost City, we go find it. Yes or no?
Kinsey: No!
Weir: I will consider it.
Weir: Colonel O’Neill—
Kinsey: Is the one who got us into this mess in the first place. I want him gone. I want them all gone. You haven’t figured that out yet?
Weir: Oh I’ve figured out quite a bit.
Kinsey: Well hallelujah for that.
Weir: This is my office. This is my chair. Until someone tells me otherwise I’m going to make decisions as I see fit, not as they fit in to your agenda.
Kinsey: You have no idea what my agenda is.
Weir: Whatever your agenda is.
Kinsey: You don’t know anything, Doctor. And if you think you do, you’re not as smart as I thought.