Jay Felger (Patrick McKenna): Look at them! They are so cool.
Simon Coombs (John Billingsley): Jay, enough already. It’s embarrassing.
Meyers: Not to mention unprofessional.
Felger: Guys, we’re in the presence of greatness here. The best of the best! And here we are working alongside them. Savor the moment, gentlemen. Savor the moment.
Simon Coombs: Come on, Felger! We’re studying an old piece of Goa’uld technology and they’re babysitting us.
Felger: What do you think they’re talking about right now?
O’Neill: So T, who’re you taking in the Cup? {Teal’c doesn’t react}. Lord Stanley’s Cup…. Hockey. Remember, with the ice and skating. We went to a game last year.
Teal’c: Indeed. I believe the Canucks of Vancouver are superior warriors.
O’Neill: Canucks, eh?
Felger: Then you guys can get right back to saving the world. For the seventh time.
Teal’c: Eighth.
O’Neill: What, you’re counting?
Felger: Bite me, Coombs. At least my heroes exist. If this was a Trek convention you’d be all dressed up like a Klingon.
Coombs: Vulcan, Felger. Vulcan. And I don’t know how you can call yourself a scientist and not worship at the altar that is Roddenberry.
Felger: “Oo! How are we going to get out of this one, Captain? Oh I don’t know, something to do with a tachyon emitter.”
Coombs after Felger blindly shoots up the ring room: Nicely done. We were alone but that will probably change now.
Carter: How come you’re not smiling?
Jonas: Should I be?
Carter: Well it is your first time being captured by a Goa’uld.
Jonas: Huh. Funny.
Jonas: So what now?
Teal’c: We wait.
Jonas: Shouldn’t we be trying to escape?
O’Neill: Oddly? No. Won’t be long.
Jonas: Before what?
O’Neill: Oh, some overdressed, over-the-top bad guy floats in, gloating about whatever evil fate awaits us. … Wait for it. {The door opens}. See?
O’Neill: Carter. Be honest. The resume gag?
Teal’c: It needs work, O’Neill.
Felger: Information is an SG team’s greatest ally.
Coombs: You know what an SG team’s greatest ally is? An SG team!
O’Neill: What are you doing here?!
Felger: Stand easy. We’re here to rescue you!
Carter: Did he say “we”?
Felger: That’s right. I have Coombs with me.
O’Neill: Why look, everybody! He’s got Coombs with him!
Felger: You try to help people, this is the thanks you get.
Coombs: I should have shot you.
O’Neill: Hey Herak! What, no gloating? Take some pride in your work, son.
Herak: You shall all be forced to bow before my master soon enough.
Felger: We are not going to die, Coombs.
Coombs: Oh come on, Felger. We might as well be wearing red shirts!
Felger: I don’t get that.
Felger: Get a hold of yourself! Don’t you get it, Simon? Jaffa do not kill each other for fun.
Coombs: They don’t?!
Felger: Okay, I don’t know that for sure.
Felger: When are you going to start trusting me, Simon? I have four post-graduate degrees.
Herak: Spread the word among every rank: Be ready. Anubis is coming.
O’Neill: Where’s Khonsu?
Herak: Khonsu is dead.
O’Neill: Dead? Completely dead or semi-dead? You guys seem to have a grey area in that regard.
Herak: His true loyalties were well known. Once his betrayal bore fruit his existence was no longer required.
O’Neill: Are you calling us fruit?
Her’ak: No matter what you have endured, you have never experienced the likes of what Anubis is capable of.
O’Neill: You ended that sentence with a preposition. Bastard.
O’Neill: Felger, we need weapons.
Felger: There should be a big armory at the end of the hall. Either that or a bathroom.