Dr. Samantha Carter: I never expected this variation. You’re alive.
Major Kawalsky walking in: Don’t feel so bad, Colonel. Everybody around here is telling me the same thing.
O’Neill: Kawalsky?
Hammond: In a manner of speaking.
Dr. Fraiser: Actually in a manner of fact, sir. This is Major Charles Kawalsky in almost every physical respect.
O’Neill: Does anyone want to tell me what the hell’s going on here? Anyone?
Kawalsky: Where we come from the Goau’lds just took over the world.
Carter: She’s right.
O’Neill: You just agreed with yourself.
Carter: It’s probably the very differences that set our universe apart from yours that contributed to our survival. Daniel’s participation in the Stargate program, Teal’c’s change of heart, the fact that I joined the military.
Dr. Carter: You think that your being in the Air Force could have made that big a difference?
Carter: No, I just said it made a contribution.
Dr. Carter: And therefore I didn’t?
O’Neill: Ladies! Sams. We’re all in this reality together.
Dr. Carter: If you’re not going to give us a second chance, I don’t know any of you.
O’Neill: Well, exactly. You don’t know any of us. And we don’t know you. For all we know you could be her evil twin. But then we’d be dealing with clichés and you know how I feel about those. {to Sam} No actually you know how I feel about those.
O’Neill: I can’t even begin to know what you’ve been through. I know you lost a lot.
Dr. Carter: I lost you.
O’Neill: Carter. How are you doing with this… twin thing?
Carter: Do you have a couple of hours?
O’Neill: …Okay.
Carter: That was the answer.
Kawalsky: I’ll get her to the Stargate. {silence} What, you think I’m going to let her go alone? She’s my best friend’s wife. {awkward silence}
Dr. Carter: We made a good team, Major.
Carter: Yeah we did, Doctor.
Dr. Carter: Plus your hair’s kinda growing on me.
Teal’c: Renouce Apophis as a false god and join us in our deliverance of this world and I will spare you.
First Prime Teal’c: Sholva! {Teal’c shoots him}
O’Neill: The idea was to zat him.
Teal’c: As I said O’Neill, ours is the only reality of consequence.
O’Neill: What the hell does “kree” mean?
Jackson: Well, actually, it means a lot of things. Loosely translated it means “attention,” “listen up,” “concentrate—”
O’Neill: “Yoo hoo”?
Apophis: Tell me where you come from.
Jackson: From an alternate reality.
O’Neill: One in which, by the way, you’re dead!
O’Neill: Okay, I’m guessing…
Jackson: Asgard.
O’Neill: Alright!