Carter: The probe indicates sustainable atmosphere. The temperature’s seventy-eight degrees fahrenheit, barometric pressure is normal.
Jackson: No obvious signs of civilization.
Carter: P4X-884 looks like an untouched paradise, sir.
Teal’c: Appearances may be deceiving.
O’Neill: One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.
Jackson: A fool’s paradise is a wise man’s hell.
O’Neill: Never run with scissors.
O’Neill: Au revoir, mon General!
Teal’c: I am unfamiliar with that term, O’Neill.
O’Neill: Au revoir. It’s French. It means “ciao”. Ciao… means adios. Auf wiedersehen. Sayonara. Which all very loosely translated means… goodbye.
Carter: General, we just left. We went through the Gate and we came back… here.
Hammond: Major you’ve been gone over fifteen hours.
Jackson: Wow. This coffee’s great.
Carter: I was just thinking that.
O’Neill: Is that cinnamon?
Jackson: It’s chickory.
O’Neill: Chickory. {Teal’c grabs the pot and downs the rest of the coffee}
Carter: Teal’c?
O’Neill: Isn’t that hot?
Teal’c: Extremely.
Hammond: Can these devices be removed?
Fraiser: Not without causing irreparable brain damage, sir.
O’Neill: What’s the down side?
Fraiser: How they were implanted without any external marks or injury to the cortex is beyond me.
Hammond: Can we determine what threat they pose?
O’Neill: Apparently all desserts on base are in extreme danger.
Urgo (Dom DeLuise): Do you know that you’re all much better looking on the outside than you are on the inside? On the inside it’s so complicated.
O’Neill: Carter?
Carter: The technology implanted in our brains, sir. We’re looking at some sort of visual communication interface. Controlled hallucination.
O’Neill: So… I… What?
Urgo: He gets confused. By the way, who is Mary Steenburgen?
Fraiser: Okay, so what does he look like?
O’Neill: A famous tenor.
Urgo: Would you loosen up?
O’Neill: Hey! I’m loose.
Teal’c: We are not wild animals.
Urgo: Speak for yourself. Big fella.
Urgo: It’s me or death. You have to decide. Me. Or death. … Well?
O’Neill: We’re thinking.
Carter: I don’t have time to play, Urgo. I don’t care if I’m “it”.
Carter: I was just talking to Urgo, sir.
Hammond: I see.
Carter: Oh… I wish you did.
Hammond: Doctor, are we entirely sure the members of SG-1 are… What’s the word?
Fraiser: Sane?
Hammond: That’s the one.
Urgo: Wait! I can be dull! Want me to be dull? What a nice shade of gray. How about some white bread with mayonnaise? Wanna watch golf on television?
O’Neill: Will you flip that switch?
Jackson: You’re Togar?
Togar: Yes! Togar!
Urgo whispering: As handsome as he is evil.
Urgo: I want to live. I want to experience the Universe. And I want to eat pie.
O’Neill: Who doesn’t?
O’Neill: Him or death.
Urgo: No, I—
O’Neill: Death or him.
Urgo: Oh my.
O’Neill: Well?
Urgo: I’m thinking.