O’Neill: Looks like somebody’s closed up for the winter.
Machello (in Daniel): How is he?
Fraiser: Not good. He has severe scar tissue all over his body. Looks like he was burned or electrocuted. My guess is he was tortured.
Machello (in Daniel): He’s not going to live much longer, is he?
Fraiser: I don’t think so.
Jackson: As I’ve been trying to tell the General and the good doctor here, I am not Machello. I am Daniel Jackson.
O’Neill: Here we go.
Jackson: I realize what I look like. But I’m telling you, that machine somehow switched us.
Fraiser: He, ah, knows a lot about Daniel.
Jackson: Ask me anything. Something only Daniel would know.
Carter: Okay. Who’s Cassandra?
Jackson: She’s a twelve-year-old girl we found abandoned on P8X-987.
O’Neill: P8X— ?
Carter: 987.
O’Neill: Alright, lucky guess.
Hammond: Where was the Stargate found?
Jackson: At a dig in Giza.
O’Neill: Alright, describe for me the dress your sister wore last week when I took her out.
Jackson: I don’t have a sister, Jack, and if I did, I wouldn’t let you near her.
Hammond: Okay, let’s assume you are Daniel Jackson. Then who the hell did we send home?
Machello (in Daniel): Why does no one answer me?
Fred: ‘Cause you’re strange.
Machello (in Daniel): Am I? Tell me why I am strange.
Fred: Man, you can’t just be walking up to people you don’t know on the street and talking all weird like that, asking for stuff.
Machello (in Daniel): Isn’t that what you are doing?
Fred: Well, yeah, but—
Machello (in Daniel): Then you must be strange as well.
Fred: I’ve been called worse.
Hammond: How did it go, Colonel?
Teal’c (in O’Neill): It did not go well, General Hammond.
O’Neill (in Teal’c): Ya think?
Machello (in Daniel): If it was not for me, you would have been conquered by now.
Fred: By who? Saddam?
Machello (in Daniel): He is not a System Lord I am familiar with.
Jackson: The Goa’uld use hosts because they think they are better than humans. Because they believe they deserve it. You’re a Goa’uld, Machello. I am nothing but a host to you.
Machello (in Daniel): I am not a Goa’uld.
Machello: Thank you. For my holiday.