The Links

(Season 1)

Sandy: Alright. One more.
Ryan: No. No more.
Sandy: Oh come on! You were so good at the driving range.
Ryan
: I don’t play golf.
Seth: Not true, buddy! You just don’t play well.
Sandy: And you know, there’s plenty more to do in Palm Springs other than play golf. You could spa.
Ryan: I don’t spa.
Sandy: You don’t play golf, you don’t spa. What do you do?

Seth: Ah. But he’s very good with the ladies.
Sandy: Very good with the ladies.
Ryan: He’s standing right here holding a golf club.
Sandy: Yeah. But you don’t know how to use it.
Ryan: Right. So I’m not going to Palm Springs.

Ryan: I don’t do nice and easy.

Kirsten: Do you know who’s coming home today?
Sandy: Oh god, the ugly Americans are coming back. So when’s your father and Julie getting in? Kirsten: They arrive from Paris this afternoon.
Sandy: After having confirmed all of Europe’s worst suspicions about Americans I’m guessing.

Kirsten offering Hailey a muffin: Pumpkin muffin?
Sandy: Yes darling?

Marissa: So clearly you’re okay with being just friends with Seth.
Summer: Uh huh. Clearly.
Marissa: I was being sarcastic.
Summer: So was I. Which we never were before Cohen showed up and taught us all irony. Jackass.

Summer: I’ve lost my mind, haven’t I?
Marissa: Yeah. A little bit.
Summer: And over Seth Cohen.

Sandy: We can’t reschedule. The Lighthouse closes down tonight forever. It’s our last chance to get the best chicken parmesan in the business.
Jimmy: First the Lighthouse leaves Newport and then me. How poetic.
Sandy: What do you mean, you’re leaving?
Jimmy: There’s nothing here for me. There’s no opportunities. There’s no second chances.

Marissa: You don’t have a problem with Oliver, do you?
Ryan: Nah. I mean, guy
shows up out of nowhere and suddenly he’s hanging around all the time.
Marissa: Yeah. A guy shows up out of the blue. Knows no one, abandoned by his family. Sound familiar?
Ryan: A little bit.
Marissa: Look. You did something nice for him and now he wants to repy you.
Ryan: By playing golf?
Marissa: Yeah, well. It’ll be fun.
Ryan: You’ve never seen me play golf.
Marissa: Then I guess it’ll be especially fun for me.

Seth: A little golf, a little shpitz.
Anna: I don’t know. It all sounds kind of old.
Seth: Yes, Anna, it does sound old. Somewhere inside of me there’s a little Jewish man who’s very excited.

Seth: Did you rob a liquor store, Luke?
Luke: Cohen. You can’t play golf without a buzz on.
Seth: Thanks for the tip, Bagger Vance.
Luke: A blender. Nice thinking, Cohen.
Seth: Yeah, no. It’s actually a humidifer. I get nose bleeds.

Julie: Cheese wheel?

Kirsten: How was France?
Caleb: Aside from the French. Where’s Hailey?
Kirsten: She’s showering, I think. I wasn’t expected you guys so soon.
Julie: Oh, he couldn’t to see his precious Hailey. Couldn’t even let me go home and take a shower.
Caleb: How is she? How’s she looking? Truthfully.
Kirsten: Oh, she looks good. Her spirits are high.
Caleb: She’s high?
Kirsten: No. Her spirits, her mood. She up.
Caleb: So she’s on uppers?
Kirsten: She seems balanced.

Hailey: Julie, your hair.
Julie: Hailey, you’re here.

Summer: I’m trying to give you some culture, Cohen.
Seth: The audio version of The DaVinci Codes is not culture.
Summer: Yeah, well, it’s a true story.

Oliver: Marissa was filling me in on some of the details on our ride down.
Ryan: She was?
Oliver: Yeah. But I mean, just in terms of how amazing it is you’re so healthy. Well-adjusted. Considering.
Ryan: Considering?

Anna: How come when she says “friends” it sounds like a threat?
Seth: It’s her inflection.

Luke about Oliver: I could hurt that guy.
Ryan: So could I.

Luke: Hey, nobody’s looking. {Ryan taps it in with his foot} Oh! Nice shot buddy!

Marissa: Are you okay? You know he was just playing.
Ryan: I’m fine.
Luke: That guy was not playing,

Sandy: We’ll have a nice meal, a few drinks, and talk about his next move.
Kirsten: Alcohol. Yes. Inspired.
Sandy: How do you think I got you to marry me?
Caleb walking in: So you were drunk. Explains everything, Kiki.

Summer: It’s eight o’clock. What are you, like seventy?
Seth: On the inside. Yes.

Ryan: Next time you want to be alone with my girlfriend, let me know so I can stay home.

Summer: Your whole witty banter thing is so cute, you guys! You guys are like brother and sister. Yeah, you could totally be related!

Jimmy: I’m not sure but I think Jimmy Cooper and I might have gone into business together tonight.

Luke: So you and Cohen, huh? It must be kind of weird to see him with someone else.

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