Kirsten on walking in on Ryan and Marissa: It’s never happened with Seth.
Sandy: You walked in on them?
Kirsten: Well at least I knocked.
Sandy: I knew it. Ryan and Marissa Cooper. Didn’t I tell you!
Kirsten: No.
Sandy: No.
Seth: Oh I get it. I’m just here for the comic relief.
Seth: But you have before, right? Wow. That’s what I thought. I just didn’t want to jump to conclusions. Because my experience is sort of limited. And?
Ryan: And what?
Seth: Was it awesome?
Ryan: Which time?
Seth: Ah… There were— I don’t know. How many times were there?
Ryan: Same girl or different girls?
Seth: There were different girls? How many different girls were there? Ryan starts counting in his head. I have to sit down.
Summer: What does Chino know about a first date? Where he’s from, they don’t even have a PF Cheng’s.
Seth: So when you lost your virginity, I was playing Magic: The Gathering.
Ryan: You still play Magic.
Seth: Yeah, but not as much.
Seth: Summer, I’ll walk you to bio.
Summer: I can walk myself.
Seth: Great. Then you can walk me too.
Rachel: Sandy Cohen, you are cheating on me. With your wife.
Sandy: I’m trying.
Seth: So get this: Anna thinks all I ever do is talk about Summer. I mean that’s crazy, right?
Ryan: You want me to lie?
Seth: I’m that guy? Dude, how can I be that guy? I hate that guy.
Seth: You and Julie Cooper trapped on a boat, huh? Yeah, can’t wait to see how that one goes.
Ryan: I don’t really have a choice, since she’s my girlfriend.
Seth: What? “Girlfriend”? I thought that you didn’t do girlfriends. I mean you did them, but you, you know…
Ryan: I don’t. And this is not a good way to start.
Seth: Okay, I promise I’m never going to mention Summer’s name again. Except for that. From now on we will only talk about the things we have in common. Like, how do you feel about Newport charity events, huh?
Anna: I hate them.
Seth: Me too. So what do you say you come with me. We’ll hang out and we’ll just quietly mock people.
Sandy: I’ve gotta tell you Cal, I’ve dealt with a lot of shady characters in my line of work, but I’ve never seen anyone stoop as low as you. You’ll poison anything—the air, wetlands, even your daughter’s marriage—as long as you can profit.
Caleb: You’ve been living off my profits.
Sandy: If you think I’m bought and paid for, you just wait until I get you on the stand. Don’t let my silence here mislead you. I’m taking you down.
Ryan: Marissa, this event is important. And… on a yacht. And whenever I go to one of these things somebody gets into a fight.
Seth: Yo.
Anna: What up, Holmes?
Seth: Chillin’.
Anna: A’ight.
Anna: So, this is your crib? This is where all the magic happens?
Seth: Well, if by magic, you’re referring to the card game, then sadly, yes.
Anna: You have a hot tub. Do you ever use it?
Seth: Hot tub’s for the ho’s. I usually hang in the Grotto.
Marissa: So I’m just going to run to the girls’ room. It’s down the hall, right?
Anna: I gotta go too.
Seth: Right. Because girls can’t pee alone. Ryan rolls his eyes. What? It’s Anna. I could have said “pop a squat” in front of her if I wanted to.
Ryan: Sometimes I think you talk just to make sounds.
Seth: Sometimes I do.
Sandy: I’m powerless before dumplings.
Marissa: Hey. How goes it with Chip?
Summer: He’s surprised the the ocean is big. Smoke another beer, Chip.
Marissa: Wow. Someone’s in a good mood.
Summer: What is Seth Cohen doing with Tinkerbell? She’s from Pittsburgh. That’s like the 909 of the east.
Seth: What’s going on here?
Summer: I like Seth Cohen.
Seth: You, ah… you what now?
Summer: Nothing. I wasn’t talking to you.
Sandy: I’m here.
Kirsten: We’re leaving.
Sandy: But I wore a jacket!
Marissa: I’ve never actually slept with someone before.
Ryan: Yeah, me neither. I’m usually climbing out the window or back into the front seat.