The Telenovela

(Season 1)

Ryan about Marissa: We’ll just go back to being friends.
Seth: When were you guys ever friends? Was it when you were beating up her boyfriend or, ah, spooning in a Tijuana motel? Is that when you were friends?
Ryan: Yeah, that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Does it?
Seth: I don’t know.

Summer: Friends, Coop? What are you guys gonna do together? Lift weights? Try on wife beaters? Guys like Ryan aren’t friends with girls.

Seth: Brad. Dude, I didn’t recognize you out of the Speedo. Not that I would recognize you in a Speedo.

Seth: Hey, how was Pittsburgh?
Anna: It was good to be home.
Seth: It’s also the home of Andy Warhol, Mr. Rogers, and ketchup. And you can’t compete with that.

Kirsten: He’s a consultant.
Sandy: Could you be please be a little more vague?
Kirsten: He knows people.
Sandy: You did it. That was a little more vague.

Kirsten: I sense sarcasm.
Seth: Well, you’re perceptive, mother.

Luke: I gotta motor. I don’t want to be late for homeroom.
Julie: You have homeroom? Right. Because you’re in high school. Because you’re eighteen

Ryan: There’s no such thing as just ice cream in Newport. Instead of car washes they have auto spas. Dogs have day care. Fashion Island has valet parking. It’s a weird place.

Seth: I can’t acknowledge you privately if you’re not gonna acknowledge me publicly.
Summer: Cohen!
Seth: So let me know when you’re ready to come to the barganing table, but until then you just go ahead and consider me on strike.
Summer: Well you’ll be crossing your own picket line in no time.
Seth: Fight the power!

Summer: Why can’t you accept that I’m not comfortable with public displays on affection?
Seth: You’re offering yourself for ten dollars a pop at a kissing booth! How much more publicl can affection be displayed?

Caleb: We should be able to come to an arrangement where we both get from a relationship what we want.
Julie: Is this a booty call?
Caleb: What’s a “booty call?
Julie: It’s when you show up at night unannounced, no apologies, no compliments, no commitments. Just some crappy mini-carns from Ralph’s and a very mistaken idea that I just might want to— {she slams the door}
Caleb: Guess it was a booty call.

Seth: You guys, what we have here is our very own telenovela.

Sandy: You did musicals? I did a musical myself in college.
Kirsten: Oh, please, someone stop him before he starts singing “Greased Lightning.”
Seth: Do it, Dad! Travolta’s your bitch!

Seth: I love revolving restaurants.
Sandy: Who doesn’t. Motion and digestion. It’s an unbeatable combination.

Seth: That would actually make this romantic triangle more of a romantic rhombus.

Summer: I just don’t know why he likes me. I mean he’s way smarter and we have like less than nothing in common. And he’s just going to get bored with me because pretty much all boys do. And everybody knows we’re dating and everyone will know when he breaks up with me. Which he will. I mean, dumped by Seth Cohen? Real good for my reputation.

Anna: Look, once you get what you want that’s when you’ve got something to lose.

Theresa: …but I guess life’s not really like that.  You can’t get all caught up in something that’s not going to happen. You’ve got to hold on to the next best thing.

Summer: Why are you doing this?
Seth: Because I like you Summer. This much. And if you don’t feel the same way about me then someone’s going to have to give me a hand down because it’s really high up here. And I could fall and that would be embarrassing. More embarrassing.

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