Ryan: Have you told her there’s nothing going on between you and Anna?
Seth: I’ve tried, but every time I get close she pulls her rape whistle.
Summer: Not only will I not go to prom with you, but if you and I were stranded on a desert island, I would take the nourishment that your meager frame has to offer and then I would get your bones to the sharks.
Kirsten: When are we gonna talk about us?
Sandy: In public again, or were you thinking about something a little more private this time?
Kirsten: I’m sorry I attacked you. But it at least got you to listen.
Taylor: Now you know how I’m going with Sun Ho.
Taylor: The guy from the Korean barbecue?
Summer: Oh yeah. We, like, totally found each other at the sweatshirt party. He’s got this wonderfully hairless body. It’s like hooking up with a seal.
Summer: I have to go.
Summer’s Voicemail: “Hey it’s Summer. Leave a message.”
Seth: Summer, hey. I just want to apologize for what happened in the girls bathroom today. I didn’t mean to follow you in. Or spook Mrs. Rushfield. I was just trying to explain that the idea of a romance between me and Anna is so insane that—
Anna (Samaire Armstrong): Hello Seth.
Seth: I gotta go.
Seth: Ah, there she is. Look at a true friend, Ryan. 2000 miles she flies.
Anna: In a middle seat.
Seth: All to make sure Summer and I go to the prom together. Tell me, would you do so much?
Ryan: Let’s not test it.
Marissa: So do you think Kevin will like this?
Summer: Yeah, if it rips off easy.
Seth: Oh my god. You what this is? This is the pirate’s cave from Goonies. I’ve died and gone to heaven.
Summer: You know, just everyone, leave me alone.
Seth: She probably just needs a moist washcloth. Or maybe, like, a towelette.
Anna: Cohen.
Seth: What? What? Is there a no-towelette clause in your plan? ‘Cause right now I’m thinking that phase two kinda sucks. Does anyone have a towelette? Does anyone have a towelette?!?! We’ve gotta find a towelette!
Summer: I love you.
Seth: I love you too. We can kiss later. Summer throws up again Alright. Want me to hold your crown? Summer throws up again Hey! Rigatoni. Nice.
Volchok (Cam Gigandet): You probably think I’m an idiot, huh? Screw things up with Marissa. Steal money when everyone’s gonna know I took it.
Ryan: I don’t think about you. But yes, you’re an idiot.