Kirsten: Are you doing that thing where you think that I’m ignoring you, so you start speaking gibberish to see if I’m listening?
Sandy: Aw. You were listening.
Kirsten: Nope.
Sandy: Sometimes the best thing is for a kid to have some space.
Kirsten: The Pacific Ocean? That’s space?
Summer: I feel like my flesh is melting. I just hope it melts evenly.
Summer: The more time I spend with Zach, the less time I think about goddamn what’s-his-face, built like a beanpole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on a sailboat, leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend, who cried and cried over him until the Fourth of July when she realized she doesn’t cry over bitches on boats.
Marissa: Seth. His name its Seth.
Luke: Cohen got in a little fight with his mom.
Seth: Thanks. That was both honest and emasculating.
Seth: She has to understand it’s not all about her.
Luke: You’ve got some willpower, because she has a killer rack.
Caleb: Do you hear a clicking on the phone? Every time I try to dial out I swear I hear a clicking.
Julie: Okay, Nixon. Paranoid, much? What’s going on with you, Cal? You’re either hopped up on blow or something’s seriously wrong.
Sandy: I’ve always liked Luke. Kind of a big Golden Retriever.
Ryan laughing: Actually, he kinda is.
Caleb: I don’t get it. His best friend leaves, so he runs off with another boy and his gay dad? Seems kind of strange.
Sandy: And this coming from a guy who is one click away from wearing a wig and a fake mustache.
Summer: Well my therapist said the best thing I can do to move on in my life is to divest myself of Seth’s material possessions. Kirsten looks confused. I’ve got to dump off a bunch of his crap.
Jimmy: So what’s going on in your life?
Julie: Aside from our daughter being the spawn of Chucky and Keith Moon?
Julie: You two are still—?
Jimmy: Yeah, we’re doing great. She’s fantastic, sweet, limber. How about you and Caleb?
Julie: Not so limber.
Sandy: Hey, there’s plenty of good restaurants in Newport.
Seth: I thought you said all the restaurants in Newport were overpriced and oversauced.
Sandy: I have this thing about sauces. Less is more.
Sandy: I’m backing your plan.
Seth: Is this like a Jedi mind trick?
Theresa: You should go to Portland.
Ryan: It’s for them to figure out. They’re family.
Theresa: And you’re not a part of their family?
Ryan: Not anymore.
Luke: C’mon, Chino. Try and hurt me. Make me feel pain. Wound me.
Seth: Do you know all the money Luke saves on therapy through this thing.
Ryan: So you learned to work a grill. You’re a step up on your mom.
Theresa: The only reason you stayed was because of this baby. And now there’s no baby.
Ryan: You don’t want me to come home.
Theresa: You don’t want to come home.
Ryan: Hey, so, ah, I was thinking.
Seth: I was thinking too. You know they don’t have a water polo team here. That’s gonna be a problem for me.
Ryan: How’d you make it all the way from Newport on that little catamaran?
Seth: Hm. Well, Ryan, sit down, my son. {motions for him to sit down}. It was a long and torturous journey, and I’m
not gonna, I’m not gonna sugar coat any details with you—
Ryan: Please don’t.
Seth: —’cause we’re friends. First, I sailed to Catalina. Then, I sailed to Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara, I ran out of snacks. Freaked out a little bit, pawned my boat for cash, took a Greyhound to Portland.
Ryan: You took a bus.
Seth: Yeah. But don’t say it like that, cause it was a local. Okay, have you ever been in one of those? Okay, not for the faint of heart.
Ryan: I can’t believe after all that you took a bus.
Seth: Yeah. I think we’re definitely going to have to come up with a better story for school though, that’d be good.
Ryan: I don’t know, I like the bus idea. It’s cool.
Seth: Okay, what about maybe… boat sank, saved by whales? It’s very Whale Rider.
Ryan: What else you got?
Seth: I took a boat, boat sank, saved by a mermaid?
Ryan: Splash.
Seth: Boat sank, stranded on a desert island with a… volleyball.
Ryan: We both know that’s Castaway. Tom Hanks.
Seth: Oh, okay, you’ll really like this one. I get hired by the British Royal Navy to sail with them and, I have a master, and he’s also my commander…
Theresa’s mom: Did you tell him? Theresa nods Did he believe you?
Theresa: Yeah, I think so.