Seth: I don’t believe it, Ryan. Bright Eyes has two albums in the top ten.
Ryan: You okay with that?
Seth: Yeah I just feel like the rest of the world’s finally caught up to me. It’s a little bit scary.
Ryan: Yeah, it’s a lot scary.
Seth: Tell me I’m still special.
Sandy: You know the Nana and her schedule. Friday night’s Mah Jongg.
Seth: What? Since when’s Friday night Mah Jongg? That totally throws off my schedule.
Summer after clocking Zach: Zach! I’m so sorry. Are you okay? I was in a rage blackout and my therapist told me boxing might help me work through it.
Seth: I can’t believe she beat me.
Ryan: I can. Can we eat now?
Seth: Absolutely not. I won’t go down like that. These people look up to me. I’m like a god to them.
Seth: So what kind of dancing are we talking about? A little Jazz Step, a little Soft Shoe?
Mary Sue: Actually, it’s not quite a dance contest.
Seth: It isn’t?
Mary Sue: No. {pulls out whipped cream}
Ryan: She’s got whipped cream, Seth.
Seth: Yeah, I know. Maybe she’s… baking a cake.
Mary Sue: See, I’m gonna cover myself with whipped cream, and you’re gonna lick it all off and eat a cherry out of my mouth before any of the other contestants.
Seth: Did she say cherry?
Mary Sue: If we win it would mean so much to my grandma. Not having to worry about my college loans. With all the money she spends on medication.
Seth: Yeah. It’s for Grandma. What exactly does she have?
Ryan: Yeah, we’ll just hope Summer hasn’t paid her cable bill.
Bobby: She’s a great lady, huh? Your mom. Quite the pistol.
Sandy: I always thought of her as more of an AK-47.
Bible Beater Boyfriend: …but her best friend told me she entered some contest down here. Immodestly revealing her body for money.
Ryan: Well, Spring Break. That does happen.
BBB: Doesn’t where we’re from.
Ryan: Where’s that?
BBB: Bob Jones University. If they find out what she’s doing here, she’ll be expelled. Which won’t matter when she’s burning in hell.
Ryan: Mm. Yeah, that’s rough.
BBB: Worst part is, I think she’s cheating on me with whoever her partner in sin is. That’s why I brought my boys with me.
Seth: Oh, yeah? Your frat brothers?
BBB: Bible Study Buddies.
Marissa: Yeah, well, I thought I was All-Newport, but clearly you’re in a league of your own.
Seth: Who are those guys?
Ryan: Uh, they’re in the same Bible study class.
Seth: Oh. Think we could convince them to turn the other cheek?