My name is Dr. Owen Harper. And this is my life. A life that is full of action, and violence, and work and wonder. And Secrets. Sex and love. And death. My death. The death I survived. The death I am now living for a— Except, this isn’t living. Every day it’s the same. I get up, get ready for work. The same as everyone else. The thing is, I’m not the same. I get to work and everyone’s doing the same old thing. Babbling away about aliens, weddings. I’m not real. Three days ago I died and they think I’m fine. But they’re wrong.
Maggie: Would you just piss off? Get off my roof.
Owen: Your roof?
Maggie: I’m gonna jump so just leave me alone.
Maggie: What the hell are you?
Owen: I’m dead.
Maggie: You’re dead.
Owen: Yeah I was brought back. Like Jesus, really. But without the beard, you know. Shit, I’m never gonna have a beard. Not that I wanted one you understand, but one day I—
Maggie: Okay, you’re dead. That’s clearly a bit shit and I’m sorry and everything, but if you are dead then why are you here? You can’t be wanting to jump. You can’t die twice.
Owen: Sorry, are you an expert?
Maggie: Sorry, are you an idiot?
Owen: What the hell am I supposed to do in the meantime?
Jack: We always need someone to make coffee.
Ianto: Voila. Fresh and strong.
Owen: You couldn’t just have a jar of instant handy?
Owen: Bet you’re loving this aren’t you? Looks like you finally won.
Ianto: I didn’t realize we were in competition.
Owen: Oh come on, even Tosh had more of a life than you used to and now you’re always out on missions, you’re shagging Jack and I’m stuck here making coffee.
Ianto: It’s not like that, me and Jack.
Jack: Henry John Parker. He used to be a looker. Now he’s eighty-odd and even I have my limits. Your basic millionaire collector of alien hoo ha.
Owen: Didn’t we file him in the “Mostly Harmless” category?
Maggie: What are you, some sort of suicide geek?
Owen: No, I’m just a doctor.
Owen: You’re kinda cute when you babble.
Martha: And you’re kinda cute when you’re not chucking a scalpel about.
Owen: I’m making the sodding coffee. I mean c’mon, won’t your bloke be missing you? How about Jack? Has he seen Jack? They always get jealous when they meet Jack.
Martha: Owen, I don’t want your job. I’m trying to do mine.
Maggie: So she offers to help you and you push her away. Charming.
Owen: Yeah, hole in the chest.
Sorry if I don’t follow social niceties anymore.
Maggie: You mean you did before?
Owen: God, you’re a pain in the ass.
Owen: And you waited until your wedding anniversary to kill yourself. Why?
Maggie: Does it really matter?
Owen: Why have you waited?
Maggie: Because I believed people—I believed them when they said it would get better.
Jack: Thirty-six minutes. Not bad.
Owen: You were watching?
Jack: Skinny guy in tight jeans runs into water? I was taking pictures.
Owen: Heat sensors. they don’t react to his movement. I’m literally too cool for school.
Security Guard: Stop or I’ll shoot.
Owen: No you won’t. You’re a security guard. And that gun’s just for show, innit? Do you know what a bullet does to a living person? It’s not like a knife through butter—no no no—it rotates, tears into the flesh and the gooey stuff behind. Rips into the organs and, oo! That’s not nice.
Henry Parker: Yes?
Owen: It’s okay, mate. I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m a doctor.
Parker: You’re a very violent doctor. I’ve been watching you.
Owen: Henry Parker, yeah?
Parker: You’re Torchwood, yes? Did the American send you?
Owen: Yeah, he sent me. How do you know so much about us?
Parker: They could’ve sent that Japanese girl. I like her.
Owen: Yeah, well, I’m sorry. You got me.
Parker: Is she, uh, on your phone thing? That earpiece?
Owen: Yeah.
Parker to Tosh: Hello! Just to say you’ve got very lovely legs. You should show them off more.
Owen: You can’t stop it, Mr. Parker. I’m sorry, but it’s going to happen one day.
Parker: It’ll be dark and I’ll be alone.
Owen: Where are you now? It’s dark and you’re all alone, so what’s the difference?
Parker: I don’t understand what’s keeping me here.
Parker: Don’t you sit there pontificating. You’re just a boy, what do you know about anything? I’ve traveled the world. Fought in the war. Started my own business. Made a fortune. Married. Widowed. My collection, all of it. I’ve done so much. And this is where I ended up. Alone. Lying in my own piss, And do you know what I want?
Owen: Clean sheets?
Parker: I want a steak. Medium rare. Black pepper sauce. Look at me! Fed through a tube. I might as well be dead already.
Owen: Martha, Martha, if it destroys me, they’re gonna need a new doctor. You’ve got all the credentials, medical skills, and a crackin’ arse.
Owen to Maggie: We all assume life’s gonna be shit, don’t we? It’s all just darkness. But you know? Sometimes it’s not.
Owen to Martha: Well I’m sorry Dr. Jones. No vacancies in Cardiff just yet.
Martha: Well, it’s been… interesting.
Jack: Oh! It’s been fun. You know it has. Martha kisses him.
Martha: Well, everyone else has had a go.
Maggie: I thought you came here to jump?
Owen: No. I came here to help.
Maggie: What do I do now?
Owen: You’ve got a choice. If you think that the darkness is too much, then go for it. But if there is a chance, just some hope. It could be having a cigarette or that first sip of hot tea on a cold morning. Or it could be your mates. But if there is even a tiny glimmer of light, don’t you think that’s worth taking a chance?