Ryan: How are you doing? Seth: Well, I was depressed. Now I’m depressed and confused. Ryan: A rehab center. Where’d you get this? Seth: My dad’s office. I don’t think he’s trying to kick bagels. Ryan: I don’t think it’s for your dad. Julie: All my black dresses look like they should be accessorized with […]
Seth: Go back to bed. Or… the floor. Theresa: I can’t impose on Seth’s parents forever. Seth: Sure you can. I intend to. Sandy: So, Cay-Cay, what have you been doing all this time? Sandy: Not that I have any affection for you, Caleb. You know that. But I do love The Vegas. Seth: I […]
Seth about Kirsten: It’s the Tourette’s firing up again. Happens every now and again, but it’s fun. Kirsten: I just don’t understand. What is the rush? Sandy: Honey, it’s the Gruesome Twosome. What do you expect? It’s the shock-and-awe approach to courtship. Kirsten: So he’s bought your acceptance? Sandy: But at a really high price. […]
Marissa: I’m emotionally stable. Besides, I’m not the only one crying. Seth: I’m sorry, what? I’m allergic, okay? And there is so much pollen in here right now, it’s ridiculous. Marissa: It’s okay. Seth: And tomorrow I’m watching football, okay? Summer: Football season is five months away. Luke: Thanks for meeting me. Julie: Well it’s […]
Seth: So, then, did you take your watch off during the deed or… what exactly? Ryan: Wanna wait in the car? I can pick something up from the front desk myself. Seth: No, that’s cool. I’ve got more questions. So then, I don’t understand. Did you take it off during foreplay? Was it before foreplay? […]
Sandy: Alright. One more. Ryan: No. No more. Sandy: Oh come on! You were so good at the driving range. Ryan: I don’t play golf. Seth: Not true, buddy! You just don’t play well. Sandy: And you know, there’s plenty more to do in Palm Springs other than play golf. You could spa. Ryan: I […]
Sandy: She’s eating us out of house and home. Kirsten: Sandy, it’s just a bagel. Sandy: No no no. It’s never just a bagel. Seth: Mom, as someone who’s basically been a shut-in for the last 17 years of his life I can pretty much say with the greatest authority, that woman never leaves the […]
Marissa: I love you. Silence. I mean— I didn’t mean. I… Ryan: Thank you… ? Marissa: Uh. You’re welcome? Hailey Nichol (Amanda Righetti): Who the hell are you? Ryan: It’s a long story. Who the hell are you? Hailey Nichol: It doesn’t work that way, dude. It’s my pool house. Ryan: Actually, dude, it’s my […]