Episodes [nextpage title=”episode 1″] Every Man’s Dream Dr. Hibbert: First, you’re gonna need a spinal tap. Homer Simpson: Please be the band. Please be the band. Marge Simpson: Kids, a professional felt the best way for your father and me to work on our relationship was to give up on it. Mr. Burns: Simpson! Where are your shoes? Homer: Narcolepsy. […]
Homerland 25 years and they can’t come up with a new punishment? Carl: Man I love conventions. Lenny: Yeah, they’re the perfect combination of work and binge drinking. Marge: Dear Christian God— Lisa: Hey! Marge: Sorry. Lisa: Bart, why is the dad I always wished for creeping me out? Bart: I don’t know. Because you’re […]
He Loves to Fly and He D’ohs I will not wait twenty years to make another movie Mr. Burns: I guess this is the end. I just wish I’d spent more time at the office. Mr. Burns: And just so you know, she’ll do anything for you. Anything except sex! And I do mean “anything”. […]
Treehouse of Horror XIII Homer: Now, before I abandon you in this cornfield, does anyone remember the way home? Homer clone: I do. Homer shoots the clone. Homer: Anybody else? Another clone raises his hand. Homer shoots him. Homer: Anybody else? Come on. Another clone raises his hand and gets shot. Homer: Okay, everyone out. […]
Treehouse of Horror XI Homer: Who cut out Beetle Bailey? I need my Miss Buxley fix. Marge: I don’t like you ogling her! Why don’t you read Cathy? She’s hilarious. Homer: Eh. Too much baggage. Homer: Snakes. Nature’s quitter. Homer: That horoscope was baloney. Nothing happened except for the pickaxe in my head, the rattlesnake […]
Treehouse of Horror VII Marge: You went into the attic? I’m very disappointed and terrified. Dr. Hibbert: You don’t forget a thing like Siamese twins! Lisa: I believe they prefer to be called “conjoined twins.” Dr. Hibbert: And hillbillies prefer “sons of the soil.” But it ain’t gonna happen. Lisa: My god, I’ve created life! […]
Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two) I will not complain about the solution when I hear it Kent Brockman: Dozens of people are gunned down each day in Springfield, but until now none of them was important. Lisa: Everyone in Springfield had a reason to shoot Mr. Burns. Even us. Bart, he broke your dog’s […]
Homer’s Barbershop Quartet I will never win an Emmy Homer: Junk … junk… the airplane’s upside down. Stradi-who-vius? Marge: Your teenage son or daughter will think this wishbone necklace is really cool. Man: I doubt my son or daughter is that stupid. Skinner: We need a name that’s witty at first. But that seems less […]
Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire Bart: There’s only one fat guy that brings us presents and his name ain’t Santa. Homer: Oo, look! Pantyhose. Practical and alluring. Homer reciting reindeer names: Dasher… Dancer… Prancer… Nixon… Comet and Cupid… Donna Dixon? Teacher: Sit down, Simpson. Homer: What do you think, kids? Beauty isn’t it? Selma: […]