While You Weren’t Sleeping

Gossip Girl: Mick, Keith and their questionably-costumed cohorts said, “You can’t always get what you want.” But that doesn’t mean it’s okay for anyone else to have it either. Serena: Sorry if we kept you up last night. We were playing Scrabble. Ben (David Call): She fell asleep to avoid losing. Dan: Since when do […]

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Panic Roommate

Gossip Girl: A wise woman once said that every morning when you wake up you say a little prayer. After all, you never know what your day may hold. Reina Thorpe (Tika Sumpter): Sorry, I only have an hour before my next meeting. Chuck: Hm. We’ve got no time to waste. …From a warm goodbye. […]

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Damien Darko

Gossip Girl: Brr, Upper East Siders. It’s cold outside. And as February approaches, we need to find ways to fight frostbite. Some keep warm the old fashioned way. Chuck: Do you know what a turn-on it would be to sleep with a woman trying to buy my company. Reina Thorpe (Tika Sumpter): As long as […]

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The Townie

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Dan and Blair exiting Sant Ambroeus with espresso doppio for two. But we hear it’s not the caffeine that’s got them talking a mile a minute. It’s a mission. Dan: So. Juliet dressed up like Serena at Saints & Sinners to destroy her relationships with me and Nate. Blair: And enlist Vanessa […]

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The Sixteen Year Old Virgin

Gossip Girl: From the day he brings his newborn girl home, a father lives in fear that someday she’ll get hurt. That someday she’ll hate him. And worst of all, that someday she’ll grow up. Blair: Settlements are for the guilty. Celebrities that run people over. The Catholic Church. It’s not fair. Lily: How are […]

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The Last Days of Disco Stick

Gossip Girl: As a famed literary liar once told Oprah, memory is subjective. Memories can be embellished. Or denied. But as James Frey knows all too well, the truth always comes out. Blair: Ugh. I don’t converse with liars or Lewinskis. Nate: A threesome? Dan: Oh yeah. Just me, Olivia, Vanessa, two girls, four boobs, […]

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